Funniest Pranks Ever Played On You

[Gottabrain]

In Jan 1980, I was 18 years old and just arrived as staff to AOLA. The first post they gave me was receptionist. One of my jobs was to announce the new arrivals.

Michael Silverman wrote in the Arrivals Log "Connie Lingus" and asked me to announce her.

AOLA reception was full. I announced her, all right.

"Connie Lingus has just arrived to AOLA!"

I didn't know why everyone was laughing. Michael had to take me aside to explain the joke. And Ivan Obolensky said I should have said Connie Lingus had come.

[FinallyFree]

Love it.

[Gottabrain]

:flamed:

OMG, I turned like 30 shade of red!!! Lol!

Other people's stories, please! :)

[DartSmohen]

1968 on board Apollo in Corfu. I was to be Santa Claus and give out the "secret Santa" presents.

About 8am Richard Gorman burst into my cabin with a tall glass of OJ in his hand. "Good morning Dart" "Happy Christmas, drink this". So I did. :duh:

It was only as I drained the glass did I realise that it was NOT fresh OJ, but orange cordial diluted with VODKA. :omg:

Anyway I was legless. I had two guys trying to walk me around the deck to try and sober me up a little.:blush:

By the time I got the santa outfit on, I was a lot like Dan Ackroyd in "Trading Places":ohmy:

Anyway, I swayed into the lounge where the entire crew were sitting, waiting to receive their presents. I almost tripped over the stack of presents and looked up and smiled. I tried giving a loud "Happy Christmas, everyone" but this got sabotaged by an enormous belch and an ill timed fart. By this time the crew were rolling around in laughter. They thought it was an act!

I started to (try) give out the presents, but instead of going over to the person for who it was intended, I started to throw them in their general direction.:ohmy:

I nearly fell into the Christmas tree, the messengers were in fits giggling, a couple of the more "serious" members of the crew (Stella, Monica etc) were sitting there stony faced, this made it even funnier. In the end I could not bend down to pick the remaining presents on the bottom of the pile.

I announced "Santa is off now, help yourself" and lurched out the door, off to my cabin where I collapsed face down, still in Santa outfit and a white beard in my face.:thumbsup:

[xenusdad]

In Jan 1980, I was 18 years old and just arrived as staff to AOLA. The first post they gave me was receptionist. One of my jobs was to announce the new arrivals.

Michael Silverman wrote in the Arrivals Log "Connie Lingus" and asked me to announce her.

AOLA reception was full. I announced her, all right.

"Connie Lingus has just arrived to AOLA!"

I didn't know why everyone was laughing. Michael had to take me aside to explain the joke. And Ivan Obolensky said I should have said Connie Lingus had come.

One they do in the Uk in Ireland is to call the pub and ask the barmaid if anyone has seen "Mike", she askes, Mike who? whereupon you reply, "Hunt,"
she then goes into the crowded bar and yells, "Has anyone seen Mike Hunt?"

[DartSmohen]

One they do in the Uk in Ireland is to call the pub and ask the barmaid if anyone has seen "Mike", she askes, Mike who? whereupon you reply, "Hunt,"
she then goes into the crowded bar and yells, "Has anyone seen Mike Hunt?"

Also done with the christian name URIC

[Kookaburra]

There was a funny one in the Vancouver phone book.

Rection, Hugh G.

[GoNuclear]

A shipmate of mine who's wife gave birth while we were out on some short operation (we were constantly in and out for a few weeks at a time) had decided that he was not going to be bothered with diaper changes, so he devised a plan, he would play a trick on his wife. It was a trick that was similar to the trick that the turd chasers (auxiliary mechanics were affectionaly known as turd chasers because one of their areas of responsibility was inspecting the sanitary tank hull valves) would play on the Damage Control Assistant or DCA officer (usually a new Ensign, assigned as the auxilliary mechanics or "A" gang division officer). Anyways, what this character did, shortly after getting back and meeting his newborn ... he tells his wife "Don't worry, honey, I'll get the kid's diapers". He had, unbeknownst to her, prepared a clean diaper with some chunky cottage cheese and a little Guilden's brown mustard ... this looks exactly like newborn poop ... anyways, he comes out of the bathroom with this specially prepared diaper and says "look honey ... it tastes just like cottage cheese!" as he eats some of the mix off the apparently crapped up diaper. She flipped out. The next day, she actually phoned the boat during work hours and told the XO (executive officer) about it, with the idea that perhaps her husband wasn't well and should get some counciling and/or perhaps be discharged. As I heard that part of the story, the XO had an extremely difficult time not cracking up, because virtually all officers had the turd chaser joke played on them at one time or another by some "A" gang machinist mate, and he knew instantly what the joke was. Word was passed down to this fellow's division officer who attempted to "council" him while laughing his ass off and asking him how he made the diaper look realistic.

The bottom line ... his wife never asked him to change the kid's diaper. I guess it worked.

Pete

[Lohan2008]

One of my jobs was to announce the new arrivals.

"Connie Lingus has just arrived to AOLA!" .

:roflmao:

[Gottabrain]

1968 on board Apollo in Corfu. I was to be Santa Claus and give out the "secret Santa" presents.

About 8am Richard Gorman burst into my cabin with a tall glass of OJ in his hand. "Good morning Dart" "Happy Christmas, drink this". So I did. :duh:

It was only as I drained the glass did I realise that it was NOT fresh OJ, but orange cordial diluted with VODKA. :omg:

Anyway I was legless. I had two guys trying to walk me around the deck to try and sober me up a little.:blush:

By the time I got the santa outfit on, I was a lot like Dan Ackroyd in "Trading Places":ohmy:

Anyway, I swayed into the lounge where the entire crew were sitting, waiting to receive their presents. I almost tripped over the stack of presents and looked up and smiled. I tried giving a loud "Happy Christmas, everyone" but this got sabotaged by an enormous belch and an ill timed fart. By this time the crew were rolling around in laughter. They thought it was an act!

I started to (try) give out the presents, but instead of going over to the person for who it was intended, I started to throw them in their general direction.:ohmy:

I nearly fell into the Christmas tree, the messengers were in fits giggling, a couple of the more "serious" members of the crew (Stella, Monica etc) were sitting there stony faced, this made it even funnier. In the end I could not bend down to pick the remaining presents on the bottom of the pile.

I announced "Santa is off now, help yourself" and lurched out the door, off to my cabin where I collapsed face down, still in Santa outfit and a white beard in my face.:thumbsup:

ROFLMAO!!!!

:bwahaha:

Great story!!!! :thumbsup:

[Gottabrain]

GoNuclear:

"look honey ... it tastes just like cottage cheese!"

:roflmao:

OMG that is so gross. Lol!

[Gottabrain]

A long time later I got them back.

I wrote "John Jacob Jingle-Harmer Schmidt" in the Arrivals Log.

Ivan didn't know the song. He was running all over the first floor, calling, looking, asking, "Does anyone know where John Jacob Jingle-Heimer Schmidt is?" He went to Solo reception, he went to Treasury, to the reges, to the HGC. Everyone tried to keep a straight face and played along. Seems he was the only one who didn't know the rhyme. "No, Ivan, I haven't seen him."

Finally, Nicole Simms and Michael Silverman sang the song for him.

John Jacob Jingle-Harmer Schmidt
That's my name too
Whenever I go out
The people always shout
They say John Jacob Jingle-Harmer Schmidt. :)

[Lurker5]

This one wasn't in Scitog, but in a bar. I was young, and still naive. Some guy called on the phone and asked me to page Jack Smihoff. The whole place cracked up. It took me a few moments to get it.

[HappyGirl]

Michael Silverman wrote in the Arrivals Log "Connie Lingus" and asked me to announce her.
I remember Michael Silverman! Great thread.

I don't have any SO practical jokes. When I was a kid my cousin pulled me into his room and started dialing the phone. "Watch the bakery across the street," he said. I looked out the window and saw Yellins Bakery. The baker was just locking up for the day, when he unlocked the door and went inside to answer the phone. My cousin asked, "are you Yellin?" he said yes and then my cousin said "well, will you shut up I'm trying to sleep." This stuff cracks you up when you're 10. :D

[Mick Wenlock]

on April 1st 1979 I had a fake telex made up by Ext Comm FOLO EU, it was addressed to Guillaume and had all the usual tags "CONFIDENTIAL - NO SHEETS" at the top and it was purportedly signed by Sam Licciardi the Programs chief. I had Lorraine Larson the telex op primed ot give it to Guillaume during out morning battle plan meeting.

The telex told him that he need to send 15 of the best staff to Flag that afternoon, they were needed for a special 5 month mission.

Guillaume used to HATE Flag demanding he send people there and the constant pressure to supply peoplle for missions and stuff. I knew how he would react.

So we are all in the meeting and after about 10 minutes Lorraine comes in, hands him the telex and has him sign for it. And he starts to read it. I seem him turning red. He stands up and just yells "What the fuck are they trying to do? This is bullshit. Such bullshit" (if you have ever heard Guillaume rant like that with his french accent - it's hilarious. He was flapping his hands around and just pissed. And then he saw me laughing my nuts off.

Oh, the look on his face.

Sweeeeetttttt.

[Gottabrain]

:roflmao:
:hysterical:

Awesome one, Mick! Pretty gutsy move on your part. Wish I could have seen his face and reaction. Love the arms flapping around....

[Mick Wenlock]

ah, not so gutsy really - Guillaume and I used to be very good friends.

[ULRC/S]

I was doing my Admin TRs at Flag on an Exec Course circa 1977. I had found a baseball bat and hid it in the TRs room. When it came time for my checkout on the last Admin Tr - where you have to control two table's worth of bullbaiting arguing "staff" - I pulled out the baseball bat and shouted:

"The next one who doesn't do exactly what I say is gonna get it!"

Deathly silence, till they all burst out laughing - and the checker started shounting: "Flunk Flunk, Flunk!"

Took ages for the room to calm down.

Regards, Allen

[anonomog]

Ok, not scientology related but had to put this in.

My best friend went for an interview yesterday. He is a geek's geek, only really comfortable behind a computer and not the most confident of people. So it costs him a bit of courage to go to interviews. Normal interviews.

Anyway apparently the prospective boss knows my friend's brother and so they set him up. Badly.

He walked into the office and the interviewer introduced him to his PA who was standing on the table taking notes. They asked him a few questions and then said to him they needed a urine sample and some hair to test for drugs, but unfortunately the toilets were locked so he would just have to go there and gave him a bottle and promised they wouldn't look and they all looked down or examined the wall.
LOL.

At this point he said "Hell no"and apparently everyone in the room collapsed with laughter and he was given a proper interview.

He was still giggling this morning.

Somehow I don't think interviews are going to bother him again.

[myrklix]

Glad to see there was a sense of humor at some point in the past at orgs.
The PA announcement reminded me of an email I received long ago about a similar prank made at Heathrow Airport, London. Here's a link that has recordings of actual announcements made over the PA system at terminal 3. Some sound better than others.

http://www.queenhill.demon.co.uk/airspeak/air_speak.htm

[Mystic]

In Jan 1980, I was 18 years old and just arrived as staff to AOLA. The first post they gave me was receptionist. One of my jobs was to announce the new arrivals.

Michael Silverman wrote in the Arrivals Log "Connie Lingus" and asked me to announce her.

AOLA reception was full. I announced her, all right.

"Connie Lingus has just arrived to AOLA!"

I didn't know why everyone was laughing. Michael had to take me aside to explain the joke. And Ivan Obolensky said I should have said Connie Lingus had come.

Well Connie Lingus is in love with Phil Atio.

[SchwimmelPuckel]

<snip> He stands up and just yells "What the fuck are they trying to do? This is bullshit. Such bullshit" (if you have ever heard Guillaume rant like that with his french accent - it's hilarious. He was flapping his hands around and just pissed. And then he saw me laughing my nuts off.

Oh, the look on his face.

Sweeeeetttttt.Harh! - Something like Peter Sellers, acting Inspector Clousou? - So it'd be like: "This is Böllsheet, such böllsheeite!"

:D

[Royal Prince Xenu]

I've never liked pulling "stunts", or being the victim of them, but with the stories about Mike Hunt, and Hugh G. Rection, I am compelled to tell this story of an incident at High School Assembly.

The HeadMaster was a very religious and puritanical man, and demanded respect from everyone. So while we stood in the hot Sun listening to pointless announcements that could have been passed around at Roll Call, he deciding to inform us of the quality of our School's debating team, who had travelled to another school to compete. He said we should be proud of our school representatives mass-debating!

Even the teachers were having a laugh, and the poor headmaster was justing there. The whole school was laughing so hard, and it still hadn't clicked with him what he had said. Of course, that made it even funnier.

[thetanic]

Guillaume used to HATE Flag demanding he send people there and the constant pressure to supply peoplle for missions and stuff. I knew how he would react.

So we are all in the meeting and after about 10 minutes Lorraine comes in, hands him the telex and has him sign for it. And he starts to read it. I seem him turning red. He stands up and just yells "What the fuck are they trying to do? This is bullshit. Such bullshit" (if you have ever heard Guillaume rant like that with his french accent - it's hilarious. He was flapping his hands around and just pissed. And then he saw me laughing my nuts off.

Having had a French boss, I can just hear and see it now.

That was an awesome prank.

[SteptInIt]

These all remind me of one April 1st, probably in the late 80's or early 90's.

Came in one morning to post at the Sacramento Org (or just stayed there after being up all night on night watch) and the D/FBO had the Telex Op write a fake telex to Naz (the Snr C/S) and Trey (the Qual Sec) that the Snr C/Ses Certs were cancelled and he had to report to CLO immediately.

They freaked out (both turning rather pale) and hid in an office, pulling out policy to show how this couldn't be done, then went in to see the ED who knew about the joke to try to get something done about it.

They got really mad and wrote KRs about the April Fools joke. I felt a bit sorry for them as they were both decent people, but couldn't stop laughing all day.

Years later I actually did get a telex yanking the Snr C/S off post, tried to fight it and lost.

[Gottabrain]

Good one, StepIntoIt! :thumbsup:

[Royal Prince Xenu]

These all remind me of one April 1st, probably in the late 80's or early 90's.

Came in one morning to post at the Sacramento Org (or just stayed there after being up all night on night watch) and the D/FBO had the Telex Op write a fake telex to Naz (the Snr C/S) and Trey (the Qual Sec) that the Snr C/Ses Certs were cancelled and he had to report to CLO immediately.

They freaked out (both turning rather pale) and hid in an office, pulling out policy to show how this couldn't be done, then went in to see the ED who knew about the joke to try to get something done about it.

They got really mad and wrote KRs about the April Fools joke. I felt a bit sorry for them as they were both decent people, but couldn't stop laughing all day.

Years later I actually did get a telex yanking the Snr C/S off post, tried to fight it and lost.

This is exactly the type of prank I dislike. I've seen some new TV prank show where the victim is set up to believe that someone is dead.

I had a bunch of kids who set me up to believe that I had hit one of them with my car. Although it was only a "prank", I reported it to the police as an incident to cover myself for any future claims. Prior to that event, driving was a recreational activity--it is no longer.

I guess the biggest practical joke we've experienced is $cn itself, but who's laughing?

[SteptInIt]

This is exactly the type of prank I dislike. I've seen some new TV prank show where the victim is set up to believe that someone is dead.

I had a bunch of kids who set me up to believe that I had hit one of them with my car. Although it was only a "prank", I reported it to the police as an incident to cover myself for any future claims. Prior to that event, driving was a recreational activity--it is no longer.

I guess the biggest practical joke we've experienced is $cn itself, but who's laughing?

There were a lot of vicious practical jokers on staff, and there was always the "seriousness" of what we were supposed to be doing in dichotomy with the "spirit of play" attitude it took to get anything actually done on a daily basis. This would get confused with the references on "Joking and Degrading" at times and with the amount of stress in the Org and duress being brought to bear by management you never knew where you stood. And unexpected blowups and upsets were common. What a ridiculous mess.

[Gottabrain]

This is exactly the type of prank I dislike. I've seen some new TV prank show where the victim is set up to believe that someone is dead.

I had a bunch of kids who set me up to believe that I had hit one of them with my car. Although it was only a "prank", I reported it to the police as an incident to cover myself for any future claims. Prior to that event, driving was a recreational activity--it is no longer.

I guess the biggest practical joke we've experienced is $cn itself, but who's laughing?

That's horrible. These were supposed to be funniest practical jokes...

The thing is, in Scilo, everything is always taken to such a life and death level of seriousness (to "save the planet"), that some of the jokes actually created a bit of sanity in an otherwise fanatic environment.