View Full Version : son or thirty years of religion??
13th July 2012, 02:08 PM
son or thirty years of religion?
Mum is torn between the church and her son, how does this work???????
My mum has been bed-ridden for a little while now due to a severe physical condition where she had to have a very intense operation and is still recovering months after the operation. This is not the first time my mother has been bed-ridden and the church have just let her recover no matter how long it takes.
Currently she is being looked after by an elderly man who is half blind and has slight dementia so he forgets to get her food and things she need in order to recover.
She has seen the doctor, buts whats missing from this story is the "miracles of auditing and assists" etc. lol what am I saying.
I promised my mum I would no longer post or say anything about the church just to protect her from harassment by OSA and the ethics officer. But I think I need to do something and say something to help my mum out.
I asked my mum what it would take for her to leave, she said leaving the church would almost be as big of a loss as it was losing me. I don't blame my mum for this dilemma, thirty years of brainwashing is kinda hard to break. She wants me to handle my status so that we can talk without feeling guilty or her having to have a missed withhold.
I guess I just fear the worst for my mum, she doesn't realize it but her whole problem and pressure from the church and the communication between us would be restored if she just walked away. She could actually be looked after and helped professionally, not just left to recover on her own whilst shes bed-ridden.
This is just the start of my motions.
PS: mum if you see this (highly unlikely) but who knows the churches methods of family these days after TomCat. I miss you heaps and you know your whole family is here for you and I mean your WHOLE family. I'm sorry for any pressure this creates on you, but one of the biggest regrets I would ever have is losing you to the church and not trying to do anything about it. After all it is your choice, but I will try to break the chains of the church for our sake.
13th July 2012, 02:34 PM
My heart goes out to you. I think you have done what you could. Just love her - have her in your heart. And forgive yourself - you've done everything you can do. It is up to her, her choice. And I am so sorry.
13th July 2012, 03:10 PM
I understand wat you are going through. My father has been in the COS for over thirty years and made the choce not to communicate with me in favor of his beloved church. NO communication NOTHING. Even good roads and weather letters are never answered.
The fact that she is willing to communicate with a little guilt and the through the fear of a little missed with hold is, to me, fantastic. I would at least take that as a LRG win and a valadation as to the love that she feels for you.
After all if you are not acting all antago etc what is the real harm in a mother loving and having a relationship with their child? Do they really need to share the same religious views?
It is never easy, given scientologies hard line on this I would "take a win" that she is willing to communicate and don't do anything to rock the boat.
I hope that she is able to find peace in knowing that love is something that you can't assign a condition to or handle with scientology justice. I just wish my pops had half the courage that your mom shows in her love for you.
13th July 2012, 03:16 PM
Do what you can, growntree, and let us know if we can help in any way.
Free to shine
13th July 2012, 03:27 PM
This stuff breaks my heart.
It is all too familiar and it has bred contempt for those who force this torture on families.
13th July 2012, 03:49 PM
Is it really her choice? She should be given a period away from the pressure to reflect on everything that happened. Then she could make a real choice. This must be heartbreaking, I hope it doesn't go the way the 'church' would have it.
13th July 2012, 04:52 PM
It is not her choice she cannot make a rationale decision, You need to get her out; I can truly say that I have been through the same thing a few years back with my own mother. similar scenario.
We had to take her out of the SO as they were not looking out for her, there was no proper food or duty of care and despite her protestations she knew she was getting worse while being there.
You have to take a stand and make the decision. We spend thousands of pounds and US Dollars in giving her the quality of life she required as the church was doing f*all.
Regardless of the everlasting anger she will be grateful when someone can look after her properly as a human deserves.
Honestly if you are sick or not well they put you in the scrapheap or in homes out of sight out mind. I have seen them. They are not hygienic or to medical standards for recovery.
Donít worry about OSA take a stand and they will leave you alone threat them with law with any form of harassment and they will leave you. I was with them for several years.
Get her out and look after her. If she flatly refuses then just help her buy her food and clothes yourself. If you need advise email me privately.
Hope this helps
13th July 2012, 05:04 PM
Is the elderly man caring for your mother sent by the Co$? If so, perhaps a call to adult protective services or its equivalent in your country would be in order.
Aside from that, I can see where auditing and assists would be comforting to someone who is sick and bedridden. Rather than making the issue of Scno all or nothing, perhaps she could receive services from a Ron's Org? There are people here who could tell you how to go about that.
Also, while you have her captive in bed, it might be a good time for an intervention. Steven Hassan's website (freedomofmind.org) has info about that.
13th July 2012, 08:36 PM
If I could talk to your Mom, I would tell her that she can have any beliefs she likes- and that she does not need CofS for that.
And that her child loves her very much.
13th July 2012, 09:01 PM
Can you ask for a wellness check?
If they check on her and she's not physically well and has no care -- even if she says she's willing to stay like that-- they won't let her I don't think.
Of course, I'm assuming she's elderly--where I am they aren't shy when it comes to elder abuse or neglect-- don't know if it's the same there?
I understand you not wanting to upset her and I'm sorry you are having to go through this...
13th July 2012, 09:51 PM
thegrowntree this is so sad and distressing for you. I know a little bit about your mum's health issues as Jordi has mentioned about these over the time she's been out, and how when they shared a dorm Jordi use to rub your mum's back as she was crying in pain trying to ease the stress on your poor mum, so we know that your mum has been unwell for quite some period of time.
So much time has passed and really nothing has improved for your mum and OSA is really adding to the stress and duress with enforcing disconnection, and I hate to draw your attention to the recent events in relation to Alexander Jentzsche and what can occur when disconnection is enforced by OSA to the end.
I believe that you must take action and demand to see her your mum. Although your mum is telling you she has seen a health professional, you don't know for sure. She is saying what the CoS wants her to say so you remain calm and don't walk on the church.
You could also get a welfare check but it would be great if you were there. Without you there your mum would be prepped on what to say she would be cleaned up and made presentable, and drilled on 'make it go right' and prove to the official that she is OK. You've been on the RPF so you know what the CoS are capable of without concern about the law or family ties.
Don't let the CoS continue to control this situation, she has been in their charge and look what's happening. Your mum has been sick for so long, she does not know what it's like to feel really well. She has adjusted her mind to believe that this is as could as it gets. You can offer her health, peace, well being and a safe home environment so she can recover fully.
PLEASE DON'T HOLD BACK, TAKE ACTION, YOU WILL REGRET IT IF SOMETHING MORE TERRIBLE WAS TO HAPPEN.
If you need anything the Anderson's and others are here.
14th July 2012, 04:09 AM
If you want to have your Mum spend the rest of her life free I think you need to go and take some decisive action to give her that opportunity. It's been done in the past and I'm sure if you were going to make a move on it you would get plenty of help.
She needs to know that there is another Scientology growing outside the walls of the cult she lives in, I imagine that would go a long way toward comforting her regarding her prospects of doing the bridge.
Oh yeah Michael Gordon, it's happening again and this time a wall of media will be outside to record and report your crap.
14th July 2012, 04:26 AM
If you are not antagonistic to the church then she can't be PTS to you and should not have to disconnect.
I can see no reason why you wouldn't be able to visit her and offer your assistance.
Just do not attack the ideas or activities of Scientology.
The decision to be a Scientologist is hers and you just want to make her life a bit easier.
"I love her and she can believe whatever she likes" would be my answer to the question "How do you feel about her being a Scientologist?"
All the very best,
14th July 2012, 06:08 AM
I don't know if this will be helpful, but I mean for it to be helpful...:)
Depending on the surgery she just had...being bedridden is probably contraindicated...she should be having some physical therapy, home visits by visiting nurse association, etc.
No offense meant whatsoever, but it sounds as if her caregiver could use a caregiver himself! :confused2: It is definitely worth calling whatever is the equivalent of Adult Protective Services for your area, usually a County or District Agency.
The more real world help she gets from normal people, the more it will help to free her mind from her dependance on COS. She may feel that she has no other resources available to her!
But practically, she needs to be fed properly, bathed, etc. as well. Some kind of social worker should be in charge of her case. If nothing else, contact the hospital where she had her surgery, and ask to speak to a medical social worker, report your concerns and ask for a wellness check. If all else fails, contact the police for the area where your Mom resides and ask for a wellness check.
I would leave no stone unturned... Good Luck to you. :thumbsup:
Powered by vBulletin® Copyright © 2013 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.