Here is my "Non-E" formula

[ChaoticPsychotic]

To hell with the Sea Org, Scientology and the rest of them. I am sick and tired of having to hide. I am COMING OUT!!!! I finally told my parents how I feel and now that they know, why can't the rest of the world?

I am an advocate for the Constitutional rights of Americans. Freedom of Speech.

So here I go.....

I am Melanie Anne Wagner (now Mirate). I was in the Sea Org from ages 13-18. I was in ITO. I worked in HCO and then on the Tech lines. I was a troublemaker and on the decks every 6 months or so. I blew a few times. I watched good friends try to commit suicide. I tried myself once. I had friends get abortions. I was sexually molested 2 times at the age of 14 while in the Sea Org - once by some asshole in ASI. I was verbally abused. I was physically abused. I almost died twice. I am not a liar. I do not exaggerate.

I have told my parents all of the shit I went through in the SO. They chose to stay in the Church instead of being up in arms over the abuse I suffered. Nice eh?

I hope some fucker in OSA reads this and declares me. I would be proud to bear the title of "Supressive Person".

I am sick of living in fear. I am sick of hiding. If you knew me, if you liked me, let me know. I have so many friends out there who were offloaded or declared. I miss you. I think about you. I hope that you are well. I hope that you can have the courage to come out and take a stand!

Scientology is a sinking ship and the rats are jumping off at a remarkable rate.

Proud to say I have been an ex-Scientologist for 10 years.

Feel free to send me a message!

[Zinjifar]

Congratulations on the message you're sending Melanie. Hopefully we can look forward to a time when there's no 'Church' to get 'out' of. At least not one like this one.

Zinj

[Dulloldfart]

Good for you Melanie. :)

Paul

[Bea Kiddo]

Welcome Melanie!!! I am not sure if you know me. What years were you in ITO?

[ChaoticPsychotic]

I was in ITO from late 1993 to about Feb '97 when I began my 3 month route-out process.

[Alanzo]

Way to go, Melanie.

Your Non-E has been approved.

Congratulations, you are now in Danger! :)

Alanzo
The ESMB GAT Ethics Specialist
And Peanut Gallery I/C

[ChaoticPsychotic]

Way to go, Melanie.

Your Non-E has been approved.

Congratulations, you are now in Danger! :)

Alanzo
The ESMB GAT Ethics Specialist
And Peanut Gallery I/C

Haha! Thanks! I think the only "Danger" I am in now is the danger of being DECLARED! Ooohhh I am shaking in my boots.

:happydance:

[Bea Kiddo]

I was in ITO from late 1993 to about Feb '97 when I began my 3 month route-out process.

I was at CCI for that time period. I bet we crossed paths.

[Mick Wenlock]

To hell with the Sea Org, Scientology and the rest of them. I am sick and tired of having to hide. I am COMING OUT!!!! I finally told my parents how I feel and now that they know, why can't the rest of the world?

I am an advocate for the Constitutional rights of Americans. Freedom of Speech.

So here I go.....

I am Melanie Anne Wagner (now Mirate). I was in the Sea Org from ages 13-18. I was in ITO. I worked in HCO and then on the Tech lines. I was a troublemaker and on the decks every 6 months or so. I blew a few times. I watched good friends try to commit suicide. I tried myself once. I had friends get abortions. I was sexually molested 2 times at the age of 14 while in the Sea Org - once by some asshole in ASI. I was verbally abused. I was physically abused. I almost died twice. I am not a liar. I do not exaggerate.

I have told my parents all of the shit I went through in the SO. They chose to stay in the Church instead of being up in arms over the abuse I suffered. Nice eh?

I hope some fucker in OSA reads this and declares me. I would be proud to bear the title of "Supressive Person".

I am sick of living in fear. I am sick of hiding. If you knew me, if you liked me, let me know. I have so many friends out there who were offloaded or declared. I miss you. I think about you. I hope that you are well. I hope that you can have the courage to come out and take a stand!

Scientology is a sinking ship and the rats are jumping off at a remarkable rate.

Proud to say I have been an ex-Scientologist for 10 years.

Feel free to send me a message!

Melanie - awesome. Absolutely awesome.

No more fear - and strangely, now that you don't have the fear - they do.

[Alanzo]

Haha! Thanks! I think the only "Danger" I am in now is the danger of being DECLARED! Ooohhh I am shaking in my boots.

:happydance:

Danger???

That's a Badge of Honor around here.

I, for one, have been BEGGING for my declare for at least 4 years now. I have an empty frame hung on my wall with lights shining on it, just waiting to fill it in.

They won't give it to me because they know I'll love it too much. Running yet another "can't have" on me.

The Games Condition bastards!

[Div6]

Welcome Melanie.

Congratulations!

I don't think there is a stature of limitation on sexual abuse, particularly where minors are concerned. Please consider getting a lawyer and filing civil suit against the individuals\entities involved.

I am not kidding.

This crap needs to end. Now.

[MarkWI]

:thumbsup:
Good to have you here Melanie!

[ChaoticPsychotic]

Welcome Melanie.

Congratulations!

I don't think there is a stature of limitation on sexual abuse, particularly where minors are concerned. Please consider getting a lawyer and filing civil suit against the individuals\entities involved.

I am not kidding.

This crap needs to end. Now.

I may at some point in the future. I have just tried hard to put it all so far behind me. I hate the he said/she said crap that it will all entail.

The best thing I can do now is make my story known. Hopefully I can do my part in taking down the "Church".

[nozeno]

Melanie:

I didn't know you but I like you. You were in way after my time. You are a courageous woman. Welcome. :yes:

[Div6]

I may at some point in the future. I have just tried hard to put it all so far behind me. I hate the he said/she said crap that it will all entail.

The best thing I can do now is make my story known. Hopefully I can do my part in taking down the "Church".


I understand.

Be well.

[Bea Kiddo]

Welcome Melanie.

Congratulations!

I don't think there is a stature of limitation on sexual abuse, particularly where minors are concerned. Please consider getting a lawyer and filing civil suit against the individuals\entities involved.

I am not kidding.

This crap needs to end. Now.

Although you have a valid point, I have to say: Do you have any idea how terrifying it is to do that?

I cant even tell people close to me about it. I still havent on this board. It is VERY hard to talk about.

In a courtroom?

Do you have any idea how humiliating it is?

Plus with mine, I was threatened to be killed over and over again. Daily for 8 months. (Ok, part of Part II came out there). I was 11 years old, dealing with a 50 year old insane asshole.

(I still love you Div6, you just hit a nerve...)

[Div6]

Although you have a valid point, I have to say: Do you have any idea how terrifying it is to do that?

I cant even tell people close to me about it. I still havent on this board. It is VERY hard to talk about.

In a courtroom?

Do you have any idea how humiliating it is?

Plus with mine, I was threatened to be killed over and over again. Daily for 8 months. (Ok, part of Part II came out there). I was 11 years old, dealing with a 50 year old insane asshole.

(I still love you Div6, you just hit a nerve...)

I love you too Bea. But withholding this in a misguided attempt to suppress evil out of this universe is just wrong. DO NOT BLAME yourself. Evil takes a lot of confront. Look how long the Catholic church "got away" with their pederasty.

I know it hurts.

But this is the cancer we need to burn out....

[Bea Kiddo]

I love you too Bea. But withholding this in a misguided attempt to suppress evil out of this universe is just wrong. DO NOT BLAME yourself. Evil takes a lot of confront. Look how long the Catholic church "got away" with their pederasty.

I know it hurts.

But this is the cancer we need to burn out....

Thank you.

I am not withholding it. Leverage.

[Div6]

Thank you.

I am not withholding it. Leverage.

Peace be with you.

[Dulloldfart]

It is VERY hard to talk about.



Gradient scales, Bea.

Type it out. Delete the document if you wish. Type it out again. Delete it. Write it out. Shred it. Tell it to the wall. Tell it to a table. Etc.

Get a baseball bat and bash the hell out of a sofa for an hour, mocking up whoever you wish in the sofa. Yell. Scream.

Even use Paul's Robot Auditor when you can get close enough to it.

Get it out there.

Then tell another or put what bits of it you feel you can on ESMB, if you wish.

Paul

[ChaoticPsychotic]

Just want to thank everyone for the support and response I have gotten from my posting.

It feels like I am being hugged by strangers and it's a warm feeling.

Thank you all. I love you!

Melanie

[alex]

Welcome Melanie.

Congratulations!

I don't think there is a stature of limitation on sexual abuse, particularly where minors are concerned. Please consider getting a lawyer and filing civil suit against the individuals\entities involved.

I am not kidding.

This crap needs to end. Now.

In California, the Statute of limitations for child molestation is 10 years.
:no:

alex

[Bea Kiddo]

In California, the Statute of limitations for child molestation is 10 years.
:no:

alex

But I dont think there is any statute for a church hiding crimes of members (not reporting to authorities) and persuading members not to file charges for severe crimes.

[Mick Wenlock]

But I dont think there is any statute for a church hiding crimes of members (not reporting to authorities) and persuading members not to file charges for severe crimes.

the catholic church sure found that out.

I hope a day will come when all the victims of this child abuse will feel free to come forward. There has to be an accounting.

[Lovesnightsky]

Just want to thank everyone for the support and response I have gotten from my posting.

It feels like I am being hugged by strangers and it's a warm feeling.

Thank you all. I love you!

Melanie

:bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug:

[alex]

But I dont think there is any statute for a church hiding crimes of members (not reporting to authorities) and persuading members not to file charges for severe crimes.

Statute of limitations on conspiracy is 3 years in cali....

a

[Div6]

Screw the state statutes...I'm talking Federal...and civil. This is a real achilles heel for the OSAfags and RTCfags.
There are laws requiring that professionals REPORT suspected child abuse. Since it seems pretty widespread, it could blossom into a total PR disaster for "the most ethical people on the planet."

See http://www.darkness2light.org/GetHelp/reporting.asp

It seems to be a touchy subject with the Alexfag...notice his quick dismissive replies.

I'm going to talk to some lawyers...get an estimate of effort.....

Perhaps this is the post Feb 10th lens we focus on: Child Sexual Abuse in the Sea Org.

[Zinjifar]

Just want to thank everyone for the support and response I have gotten from my posting.

It feels like I am being hugged by strangers and it's a warm feeling.

Thank you all. I love you!

Melanie

We won't even write up KRs about it :)

Zinj

[Emma]

Welcome Melanie!

I'm so glad to have you here!:happydance:

[Terril park]

Although you have a valid point, I have to say: Do you have any idea how terrifying it is to do that?

I cant even tell people close to me about it. I still havent on this board. It is VERY hard to talk about.

In a courtroom?

Do you have any idea how humiliating it is?

Plus with mine, I was threatened to be killed over and over again. Daily for 8 months. (Ok, part of Part II came out there). I was 11 years old, dealing with a 50 year old insane asshole.

(I still love you Div6, you just hit a nerve...)


Hi Melanie and welcome. :)

Hallo again Bea.

Its just struck me that the incidence of sexual child abuse in the SO
may be far higher than the average in the general population.

I've never heard of so many examples as here. I can't recall even one
on the many FZ forums I'm on.

The SO is completely screwed on the second dynamic, one is not allowed to have this dynamic.

Would like to see Jenna comment if she has any data. Love her style.

What people should do about this is up to them.

[Free to shine]

Welcome Melanie! :happydance: :bighug:
I found it took a while to write out my story, and it's only the outline. A terrific process though! Bit by bit, all the pain that you thought no-one would understand.

Well, here we do!

[Fancy]

I Understand. I was not abused that way in the church but I was abused in that manner as a child.

So I understand what it is all about. No one stood for me then either.

Barb

Although you have a valid point, I have to say: Do you have any idea how terrifying it is to do that?

I cant even tell people close to me about it. I still havent on this board. It is VERY hard to talk about.

In a courtroom?

Do you have any idea how humiliating it is?

Plus with mine, I was threatened to be killed over and over again. Daily for 8 months. (Ok, part of Part II came out there). I was 11 years old, dealing with a 50 year old insane asshole.

(I still love you Div6, you just hit a nerve...)

[Lulu Belle]

Just want to thank everyone for the support and response I have gotten from my posting.

It feels like I am being hugged by strangers and it's a warm feeling.

Thank you all. I love you!

Melanie


We love you too.

I'm crying as I'm posting this.

I am so sorry for what you were put through.

[Lulu Belle]

Its just struck me that the incidence of sexual child abuse in the SO
may be far higher than the average in the general population.


Same with Type IIIs.

Do any of you encounter this in your everyday lives?

Enquiring minds want to know.

I could never understand when I was in why so may people would go completely nuts and have to be watched 24/7.

[Wisened One]

You GO, Melanie, YOU TELL 'em! :bighug:

Tho my stories are not nearly as unfortunate as yours: I wanted to write my story with nearly the EXACT words you did about how TIRED you are of being in fear of them,etc! And I WANT to post my full name and then tell my whole story with details, people's names, places, etc!

And SOON I WILL!

YOUR story gave me strength, Melanie!

Did a weight lift off your shoulders, too after hitting that 'post' button?

Those Bastards.

Wisened One

[Kathy (ImOut)]

Melanie, Welcome! I enjoyed reading your story.

I can understand you and Bea Kiddo not wanting to talk about it. But an anonymous phone call to child services in LA County would serve the purpose. For both of you, this was a long time ago. With how much worse the church is now, can you imagine how much worse it is for the younger kids in the SO.

I advised one of my daughter's friends to report the "rape" she experienced at the hands of a 30 or 35 year old male when she was 15. Granted she wasn't a virgin and she came on to him. But the problem I had when she told me about it, was that her mother did nothing about it. His parents were OT 7 or 8 and he was having some problems at the time. Who gives a f*ck!!!!

And the people that molested you both, could possibly still be molesting other kids. You both have to listen to your heart on this issue.

[ExCMO]

Hi, Melanie. I knew you then, I liked you then and I like you more now. I am appalled, but not surprised, at what you are telling us here. I'd say you should go for it with all guns blazin' and get civil and federal action on the bastards.

We are here for you. You know who I am and you know you can always contact me if you need help. A big hug for you.

[Colleen K. Peltomaa]

I was in ITO from late 1993 to about Feb '97 when I began my 3 month route-out process.

What is ITO and where was it located?

[Dulloldfart]

What is ITO and where was it located?

International Training Organization, from 1989 on it's been in the HGB, probably still on floors 2, 3 and 4.

For a few years prior to that it was in the 3rd floor, Main Building in PAC.

Before that it was at FSO.

There was a name change--was International Training School at some time.

It delivers courses to staff, both HGB (and Bridge) staff and Class V Org staff. I don't know what they deliver currently, but between 1989 and 1996 when I was there they delivered various evolutions where every org was supposed to send two or three people to train up, either as execs or as a delivery team. These evolutions included OEC/FEBC; Key to Life and Life Orientation Course; Pro TRs.

Paul

[SchwimmelPuckel]

Melanie.. Bea! - I don't know how to react to that abuse shit.. Exept get a pain in my throat... And you two aren't the only ones.. I recall hints in other personal stories... Indeed one gets the impression that this happens all too frequently in that cult. It angers me!

You should PM amongst yourselves about this. Also those who haven't told about it openly in this board. Maybe all of you could sue the basterds. Also, you can support each other through a trial.. Just an idea..

They need to be sued over this. They need to be dragged into the light. They need pay some, REALLY LARGE, damages to you..

And my guess is that you girls would like a Mercedes?

Same with Type IIIs.

Do any of you encounter this in your everyday lives?

Enquiring minds want to know.

I could never understand when I was in why so may people would go completely nuts and have to be watched 24/7.I only know about ONE outside the cult. Was a newspaper editor who defecated in his boss's deskdrawers. He wasn't put on babywatch.. They just fired his ass! - But in fact he wasn't type III really.. That boss really needed shit like that!

Come to think of it.. CoS needs the Phantom Shitter!

:yes:

[ChaoticPsychotic]

I said it before and I will say it again - THANK YOU!!

My husband has been telling me for some time to find myself a support group of sorts. I never could. But now I have found this board!

I have felt a huge sense of relief since "outing" myself. I encourage you who are "on the fence" to do the same. It is such a burden to carry and what a relief to unload!

Could you imagine what OSA would do if all of a sudden 100 or more people suddenly took a stand and announced who they are and what they stand for?

I would be honored to bear some sort of label from the "Church" of Scientology.

With the release of Andrew Morton's bio of Cruise and the subsequent, albeit illegal release of the event clips online and the following war taken up by Anonymous... I see great things around the bend. We are experiencing history in the making folks.

Revel in it. Gloat about it! Thrive on the SUPPRESSIVENESS of it!! Be a part of it and find some sense of healing from it all. I know I am!

Okay, hoppin off my soapbox and going to bed now!

Love to you all!

Melanie:p

[Free to shine]

I said it before and I will say it again - THANK YOU!!

My husband has been telling me for some time to find myself a support group of sorts. I never could. But now I have found this board!

I have felt a huge sense of relief since "outing" myself. I encourage you who are "on the fence" to do the same. It is such a burden to carry and what a relief to unload!



It was a friend who was listening to one of my (edited) stories one day who said to me "I don't understand, you need to find other people who have been through this." Bless him, I did. And it's been great here!

[lrnobs]

I said it before and I will say it again - THANK YOU!!

My husband has been telling me for some time to find myself a support group of sorts. I never could. But now I have found this board!

I have felt a huge sense of relief since "outing" myself. I encourage you who are "on the fence" to do the same. It is such a burden to carry and what a relief to unload!

:p

Welcome to Freedom. :clap: :happydance: :fly2:

[loiepoo]

Good for you Melanie Anne Mirate and welcome to the "outies."

I didn't know you 'cause I left in 1982. I am an xscientologist and xstaff, but never was in the SO. I have heard many horror stories from Scientology kids growing up in the S.O. on this website and others. It is very, very sad how you were treated and made to grow up on your own, with very little if any real adult guidance, love and support. I am glad you are out and I hope you find your former friends and have a really wonderful "rest of your life.":bighug:

[paul]

Hi Melaine,

I was in FB during the 90's and remember you quite well. Nice were/are a super sweet girl. PM me and I'll let you know more about me.

[Bee Sting]

Melanie, Bee wings may seem small but mine are big enough for a great big honey kiss!

[Dulloldfart]

Hi Melaine,

I was in FB during the 90's and remember you quite well. Nice were/are a super sweet girl. PM me and I'll let you know more about me.

She's married with a kid and a magnum she carries on her person and knows how to use. :)

Paul

[GreyLensman]

To hell with the Sea Org, Scientology and the rest of them. I am sick and tired of having to hide. I am COMING OUT!!!! I finally told my parents how I feel and now that they know, why can't the rest of the world?

I am an advocate for the Constitutional rights of Americans. Freedom of Speech.

So here I go.....

I am Melanie Anne Wagner (now Mirate). I was in the Sea Org from ages 13-18. I was in ITO. I worked in HCO and then on the Tech lines. I was a troublemaker and on the decks every 6 months or so. I blew a few times. I watched good friends try to commit suicide. I tried myself once. I had friends get abortions. I was sexually molested 2 times at the age of 14 while in the Sea Org - once by some asshole in ASI. I was verbally abused. I was physically abused. I almost died twice. I am not a liar. I do not exaggerate.

I have told my parents all of the shit I went through in the SO. They chose to stay in the Church instead of being up in arms over the abuse I suffered. Nice eh?

I hope some fucker in OSA reads this and declares me. I would be proud to bear the title of "Supressive Person".

I am sick of living in fear. I am sick of hiding. If you knew me, if you liked me, let me know. I have so many friends out there who were offloaded or declared. I miss you. I think about you. I hope that you are well. I hope that you can have the courage to come out and take a stand!

Scientology is a sinking ship and the rats are jumping off at a remarkable rate.

Proud to say I have been an ex-Scientologist for 10 years.

Feel free to send me a message!

You are brilliant. Thank you for doing this.