looking for Sam Sanchez

[michelle]

he was originally on staff at the Sacramento org but went to Flag for training in 97, we were kicked out of Flag together in 99 for going out 2D, we were both OOT, i was from the OC org. a separation order was put on us and we were subjected to the royal scien treatment of being imprisoned in rooms with the doors barred by furniture and publicly humiliated for weeks on end. anyway we were just 2 kids in love trying to make the best out of what we could. after the separation torture, we were shipped out never to see each other again, my heart was totally crushed. i heard he was declared a few years ago. any info would be so great and rewarded with gourmet cupcakes!

[Bea Kiddo]

Michelle, I know you! And you know me. Read my story section from Flag Feb 98 to Sept 99. (Please dont write my name on this board publicly as I have not made it known yet).

Feel free to PM me if you want.

I heard about Sam getting SP declared. I dont know what happened to him, unfortunately, or where he ended up. Sorry for your loss.

[michelle]

i had a feeling we knew each other! i have read a lot of your threads and tried to figure out who you are. nice to find familiarity on here.

yeah, that was bar none the absolute worst experience of my life, its been a long and hard path to recovery. i still wake up from nightmares believing im trapped at Flag.

i cant even tell you the number of times i was told i was going to die, be killed, get run over by a bus and that i was worthless all because i went out 2d, and you know what the kicker is? we didn't even do "it". had i known our actions were going to create such a disaster i would have at least followed through to the ep!!! im still harboring so much anger toward that piece of shit cult. plus a few years later, i heard that the reason we were used as the "head on a pike" was because, Brin, the OOT EO had her claws in him. She was heavily trying to recruit him and the rumor was that she had her sights on him to be her 2D once he joined, he told me that would never happen.

i really want to find Sam. we were secretly together the entire time we were at Flag and Asho. we had talked about getting married, we were crazy in love. what happened to us was so suppressive and agonizing. i have this huge hole that can only be filled with answers, i need to know what happened to him.

[Terril park]

i cant even tell you the number of times i was told i was going to die, be killed, get run over by a bus and that i was worthless all because i went out 2d,

Imagine what Orwell might have written had he
been on staff in the SO for any length of time.

Not only do they work on reverse tech, ethics and admin, they work on reverse logic.

You went " in 2D", Created one. :)

Hope you find him.

[michelle]

thanks Terril, me too!

yeah, i know, its crazy. the most confusing part about being on staff is the overwhelming amount of confusion. i often asked, myself while on staff, how can a supposed "religion" with the intent of freeing the mind, be so shrouded in contradictions, suppression, control, fear, abuse....makes the mind reel i tell ya. of course while your in the trenches the last thing you can do is voice your head scratching confusion, youd be thrown into ethics so fast your head would spin, you know because youve obviously got out-ethics and o/dubs.

[seeking4know]

Not to defend the “un-defendable”...

The SO was originally supposed to be ALL 100% OTs!

The second that changed it probably went south and overtime it has become what it is today.

People are basically good, that is true.

But human kind has been killing and raping each other and destroying earth from much longer than Scientology has been around.

People have been going to wars for hundreds of years before anon vs cofs!

We as a species have had disagreements that did not end at the MAAs front door but at the bottom of ditches.

I empathize and I apologize for those morons.

However, if we want to achieve anything at all we have to first go up the bridge and handle things. On the way up lets try not to chop anyone up too bad.

ARC,

MR

[michelle]

xx

[michelle]

Not to defend the “un-defendable”...


However, if we want to achieve anything at all we have to first go up the bridge and handle things. On the way up lets try not to chop anyone up too bad.

MR

you take your bridge, ill take mine. i can promise you my bridge ends with rainbows and yours ends with comm evs, debt and doubt and a life not so well spent. sorry but no matter how you sugar coat it, the truth is the SO and staff is like a turkish prison, unbearable, no offense to turkish prisons, but you get the idea. im not playing nice because frankly i played nice for far too long and now i get to act out so there

[PirateAndBum]

Welcome michelle. Here's to your "Rainbow Bridge"! (I really liked that Hendrix album)

Have you done a google search to see what it turns up?

[seeking4know]

you take your bridge, ill take mine. i can promise you my bridge ends with rainbows and yours ends with comm evs, debt and doubt and a life not so well spent. sorry but no matter how you sugar coat it, the truth is the SO and staff is like a turkish prison, unbearable, no offense to turkish prisons, but you get the idea. im not playing nice because frankly i played nice for far too long and now i get to act out so there



I am not new I've been comm ev-ed maybe twice...

I will take my bridge, thank you- and i hope yours ends with rainbows, I know my will (not in the CofS- there are better terminals out here anyway)


ARC,

MR

[Terril park]

thanks Terril, me too!

yeah, i know, its crazy. the most confusing part about being on staff is the overwhelming amount of confusion. i often asked, myself while on staff, how can a supposed "religion" with the intent of freeing the mind, be so shrouded in contradictions, suppression, control, fear, abuse....makes the mind reel i tell ya. of course while your in the trenches the last thing you can do is voice your head scratching confusion, youd be thrown into ethics so fast your head would spin, you know because youve obviously got out-ethics and o/dubs.

Well I suppose I must tell my story. Nothing much to tell.

Went from my NED Interneship to HCO staff. I
wanted to do admin. 1979-82 London staff. In the latter did OEC/FEBC at flag. Came back and crashed and burned as a lone FEBC. Left staff, and
was given a St Hill interne to run as much sec checks as he could. They wanted me to stay.

1991 or thereabouts elected to do FPRD. Fantastic results, immediately went to St. Hill for CCRD as doubts on clear after running everything including the kitchen sink. And was really keen to do OT levels.

Several intensives of extreme inval of clear,
persuaded C/S I was and then got given A-J and PDH check??

Never darkened their doors again.

I was the E/O most of my time on staff. London
back then was pretty well staffed by tech terminals.
Don't recall anyone being fucked over.

Well, maybe one guy. He used to fuck his dog.
He was given some A-J declare but came back wanting auditing. Had ethics change. Was now fucking his neighbours dog instead.

I went with the peer view that he was way to out security to be on lines.

I should have tried to help him instead of denying him services again. Thats what E/Os are for.

[michelle]

thanks P&B!!

i had no idea that was a hendrix album, looks like jimmy and i were on the same bridge, the one with pretty landscape and happy endings! cool!

yeah, ive totally googled, and yahood and myspaced and people searched, to no avail. it seems to be a pretty common name. im really hopeful that someone on here will know something. a person cant just completely disappear. everyone is findable, right? fingers crossed

im so glad i found this forum, the support is so great. its hard to go through something and feel like no one understands and to feel like the only people who would understand might still think your worthless for what you did. i had no idea there were so many people in the same tug boat as me. i love it!

heres to the 3rd dynamic, haha!

[michelle]

wow, terril, quite a story. im pretty sure having sex with animals is high on the eeeewwwww gross factor, whether your a scieno or not!! i wouldnt feel bad, you cant rescue everyone. some people need to figure out for themselves where to draw the line and reign in on their own nasty behavior.

[PirateAndBum]

Yes michelle, this is "the" place to come if you are an ex. I'm sure you can track him down. The Scn world is a small one.

There are also sites that are specificly geared for finding people. Try: http://find.intelius.com/
It costs money to get phone numbers - but for free, it will give you a listing of all the hits, so you can see if any might be likely. If you know enough info about him you could likely pick him out of the 408 Samuel Sanchez it has, esp if you know his age.

[Bea Kiddo]

Sam is a sweet guy and I really hope you find him. I liked him alot too. We were on the BC at the same time at Flag. I was a bit ahead of him on the course though.

I am sorry that you lost him. I hope he turns up sometime!!!

Be well.

(And hang out for a while. This board is pretty cool)

[Lynn Fountain Campbell]

However, if we want to achieve anything at all we have to first go up the bridge and handle things. On the way up lets try not to chop anyone up too bad.

ARC,

MR

Um... why don't we just handle things. Going "up the bridge" first is kind of "having to have before do," dontcha think?

Lynn

[michelle]

i think of the bridge to total freedom as rather more like one of those creepy staircases in the Manchester Mystery House, they go nowhere, built to confuse angry spirits and steer them away.

haha! i just came up with that one, thats a great analogy if i do say so myself!

btw, i love your quote

xoxo

[michelle]

wait, that may be misleading, i meant your chinese proverb quote. love it, so very fitting for all of us on here

[Lynn Fountain Campbell]

wait, that may be misleading, i meant your chinese proverb quote. love it, so very fitting for all of us on here

Thanks Michelle. I ventured further down the road than most people here before realizing I needed to turn back. I was on my GAT Pro TRs in 2003, and the sup couldn't find me a twin (I needed a Class VIII for the Clay Table Processing, per the Auditor Assignment policy, which I was insisting they apply). The responses from the VIIIs I spoke to in the field ranged from the diplomatic "not available right now" to the straightforward "GAT is bulls**t."

I was so gung-ho it took me a very long time before I'd even look at the internet, let alone believe what I was seeing there. But I'd seen enough outpoints inside CofS that I finally woke up for good. So I understand what a long, meandering process it can be. Not A-to-B at all.

I hope you find Sam. Love is wonderful. One of the greatest lasting pleasures in human existence, and it's totally vetted out of the CofS experience.

Love,
Lynn

[seeking4know]

Um... why don't we just handle things. Going "up the bridge" first is kind of "having to have before do," dontcha think?

Lynn


Respectfully,

Act more like a CL VIII!

And understand the senior datum here.

MR

[SomeGuy]

Respectfully


MR

You might want to word clear that because I don't think it means what you think it means. :thumbsup:

[Lynn Fountain Campbell]

Respectfully,

Act more like a CL VIII!

And understand the senior datum here.

MR

What's a Class VIII supposed to act like?

And what is your viewpoint of the senior datum here?

Your own words please. Free speech allows you to use them. No one here will flunk you or send you to ethics for saying something that's not a direct quote from a DM reference. With practice I have faith that you'll get the hang of it.

Lynn

[gomorrhan]

Respectfully,

Act more like a CL VIII!

And understand the senior datum here.

MR
You mean she should take you in session? Or she should correct your out-tech?

[seeking4know]

Handling a few Failed Purposes around here might be a goldmine. Lynn if you still in the biz of freeing beings you may want to put your certs to good use.

And Kevin does TIR do that too? You may want to ask your nearest facilitator (if anyone is still in business around here)

Again to what my ORIGINAL post was:


"Not to defend the “un-defendable”...

The SO was originally supposed to be ALL 100% OTs!

The second that changed it probably went south and overtime it has become what it is today.

People are basically good, that is true.

But human kind has been killing and raping each other and destroying earth from much longer than Scientology has been around.

People have been going to wars for hundreds of years before anon vs cofs!

We as a species have had disagreements that did not end at the MAAs front door but at the bottom of ditches.

I empathize and I apologize for those morons.

However, if we want to achieve anything at all we have to first go up the bridge and handle things. On the way up lets try not to chop anyone up too bad.

ARC,

MR"


Respectfully submitted, (I got it cleared)

MR


PS: there is an old group processing from the mid 60s that handles responsibility at a low confront level, lets get together and I will run it, I wont charge.

[michelle]

PS: there is an old group processing from the mid 60s that handles responsibility at a low confront level, lets get together and I will run it, I wont charge.

dear mr or ms seeking to know

this is a place of support for those of us who have already had to ceaselessly guard ourselves so that we wont have to ever again. please stop harassing in my thread, take your passive aggressive comments to amazon or drugstore.com

[Lynn Fountain Campbell]

Handling a few Failed Purposes around here might be a goldmine. Lynn if you still in the biz of freeing beings you may want to put your certs to good use.

Oh, you mean the ones that are "old, not used now," since I never did the Golden Age of Tech? Or are you saying I should do this in the Freezone?



The SO was originally supposed to be ALL 100% OTs!

You mean they aren't? What's up with that? Case on post?

However, if we want to achieve anything at all we have to first go up the bridge and handle things. On the way up lets try not to chop anyone up too bad.

What are you saying here? That we have to go up the bridge before we handle what's happening all around us? Please clarify.

Lynn

[Free to shine]

dear mr or ms seeking to know

this is a place of support for those of us who have already had to ceaselessly guard ourselves so that we wont have to ever again. please stop harassing in my thread, take your passive aggressive comments to amazon or drugstore.com

I totally agree. That really is bad manners! :grouch:

[seeking4know]

Oh, you mean the ones that are "old, not used now," since I never did the Golden Age of Tech? Or are you saying I should do this in the Freezone?



You mean they aren't? What's up with that? Case on post?



What are you saying here? That we have to go up the bridge before we handle what's happening all around us? Please clarify.


Lynn



1. I mean deliver some Failed Purpose handling to the pathetic FEW that blame SCN for everything, or at least enough to get to my nerves.

2. You seem old enough to remember that originally they were all ACTUAL OTs

3. Handle what you can as you go up the bridge. If that wasnt the case, then the world would be a better place to begin with.


Again quoting:

"But human kind has been killing and raping each other and destroying earth from much longer than Scientology has been around.

People have been going to wars for hundreds of years before anon vs cofs!

We as a species have had disagreements that did not end at the MAAs front door but at the bottom of ditches."

Keep what you are doing and make up excuses all you want Lynn, if you were really a CL VIII you would know better than to agree with these wogs.



MR

PS this was my last post in this thread.

[SomeGuy]

Peace.

[grundy]

Can't we all just get along?

[michelle]

hey hey hey, why all the claws? im just trying to reconnect with someone who meant so much to me. why are we getting nasty in here? what gives?

btw, is anyone going to the protest this saturday at PAC? ill be there and im not even gonna wear a mask! let them see me, im proud to stand up!

[Lynn Fountain Campbell]

hey hey hey, why all the claws? im just trying to reconnect with someone who meant so much to me. why are we getting nasty in here? what gives?



Sorry Michelle. Claws retracted. I need troll recognition lessons. :)

Lynn

[PirateAndBum]

Yes michelle, this is "the" place to come if you are an ex. I'm sure you can track him down. The Scn world is a small one.

There are also sites that are specificly geared for finding people. Try: http://find.intelius.com/
It costs money to get phone numbers - but for free, it will give you a listing of all the hits, so you can see if any might be likely. If you know enough info about him you could likely pick him out of the 408 Samuel Sanchez it has, esp if you know his age.

Did you have any luck with that site?

[michelle]

no luck, i think, there was quite a few names in there but none had the correct age. there were a bunch without age listed so there is a possibility. im going to keep my fingers crossed, the scientology community cant be all that big, someone is bound to know him and his whereabouts....hopefully:

im going to the protest on saturday and my eyes will be open, searching the crowd. if scientology can disconnect then it can re-connect too, it owes me that much :wink2: