Born and Raised in Scn

After 6years of reading, living and introspection post-scientology (having been born and raised in Scn), I have come to a point where I am consistently disillusioned of what life has to offer; am cynical about most people; and a complete pessimist when it comes to my own future.

After ridding myself of one false ideology; clearing my slate of the Scientology delusion, it seems, to me at least, I am confronted with more delusion to replace it with. The world I find seems to be build on one fabricated ideology after another that trap people just as much as Scientology. Our whole society seems to be built on the back of ideologies set down by our forefathers and we have no option but to live within them.

I recognise that I am being overly cynical, and many ideologies are not as harmful as Scientology. I also recognise there is a lot of enjoyment, fun, and loving relationships that can fill one's life, and I have had my share of all, it's just my cynicism, disillusionment, and pessimism consistently gets in the way.

My main concern at the moment is being able to support myself in a money hungry world (Why society pays so much credence to bits of paper - that in reality are worthless - is a bit beyond me). While I am very capable in performing duties, I find it difficult to give reason to working in a mindless job to earn bits of paper that in turn just greases the wheels of a messed up society.

Due to past circumstances I am without the skills, confidence, experience, and paper credentials to compete, nor do I have the desire to sell myself so I can sell some company's product that feeds human wants (as opposed to needs). Nor do I feel like putting on a facade of satisfaction or happiness that so many people seem to do to get through their day.

If this world was without the trappings of a messed up society, I would be happy to just 'be' (live, love, and die). But it seems I cannot. Aside from becoming a hermit, I have to interact with people and the world.

So where to next for me? No doubt some of you have tread these waters before. I would be grateful for your insight.