Reflection: Fear of opening up
by, 26th June 2012 at 12:56 PM (914 Views)
As a child in Scn: I learnt that showing emotion, especially emotion that was contrary to Scientology rules (which to a child would have been quite broad and nonsensical), resulted in being chastised (ie sent to ethics), and/or doing a course/auditing.
As a teenager: I refused to tell my family what I was actually feeling. Sometimes I would hold out for hours, even days. I would clam up and be scared to reveal how I felt because I knew that whatever I said would result in another 6 weeks course, or another auditing session. Both of which I hated.
Now: I still feel the fear and still hesitate before opening up and expressing how I feel.