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Thread: My Little Story

  1. #1
    Patron with Honors hummingbird's Avatar
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    Default My Little Story

    Greetings, one and all.

    I've been a member of OCMB for a couple years now, and have decided to come post and share over here. It has a little bit of a different flavor. Same user name, there as here.

    I was in the cult for about ten years, beginning in the early 70s. Joined staff in '74, I think, at a mission in California. My employment ("volunteerism"?) terminated abruptly in 1983, when a member of the Guardians Office ushered me and my then-husband OUT of her office and OUT of the building, the side door locking behind us, because my ex dared to question some of the activities of the Guardians Office back then. In a way, it was a relief. Even though we didn't suffer some of the horror stories I've read about in this forum and in other places, it was plenty bad enough, in terms of chronic sleep deprivation, poverty, and emotional abuse and duress. There's goldenrod on both of us.

    I was pregnant with my second at the time, so my attention was on other matters. After giving birth and sorting myself out a bit, I went back to school, then got a job. And life has continued to blossom and be truly worth living ever since.

    I liked what one of the other posters said about how life is just life. It has its ups and downs and nothing's really due to much of anything. You just muddle thru, and make the most of it you can.

    But I think I can look back now over those hellish years and be thankful that they didn't bleed any more money out of me than they did. I mean, yes, they stole eight years when I could have been making some money (the last year I was being paid maybe $10 to $20 a week for my "volunteer" activities). I'm also thankful in a bizarre, masochistic way, that I went thru all of that when I was young. It really toughened me up. I think I was maybe 22 or so when I joined staff, and I was 31 when I was booted off. Of course, it left me being skeptical and mistrustful of all religions, and a little spooky about Amway and stuff like that, but you take what you can how it comes at you.

    Plus, like someone else here said, it sure has left me with a vast appreciation of the small gifts of life. Being able to lounge around on a Sunday morning with coffee and the newspaper, going to see a movie with my new hubby, shopping with my daughters, watching the finches decimate the contents of their feeders, it's all something to be greatly cherished. Don't know if I'd quite be so grateful had I not been kept up until all hours, screamed at, told I was riddled with overts and withholds, all the stuff you guys who have been on staff know all so well, day after day after month after year.

    Yes, I'm a little damaged and bent, but in my 26 years out, I haven't met anyone who wasn't.

    So, that's me the short story. Looking forward to being part of this community.
    But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.
    -Friedrich Nietzsche

  2. #2
    Floater Good twin's Avatar
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    Default

    Nice to have a little hummer here.
    VEDA IS GOD

    Sometimes I'm the Evil Twin.

    http://itwastruelove.blogspot.com

  3. #3
    Gold Meritorious Patron EP - Ethics Particle's Avatar
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    Smile You will like it here!

    I can tell already. EP

    edit/add: We got good chatbox here - come say "hi"
    Last edited by EP - Ethics Particle; 8th October 2009 at 07:55 PM. Reason: add line
    "Chastise the scoundrels, unmask the charlatans, and tutor the unschooled mob."

  4. #4
    Crusader Wisened One's Avatar
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    to ESMB, Hummingbird!
    The night I escaped Staff:
    http://www.forum.exscn.net/showpost....2&postcount=33

    I get really tired of hearing about how the lower bridge has value. The lower bridge has the sole purpose of getting the PC to reach for more bridge. The fact that many people improved their circumstances as a result of a good intentioned auditor being interested and caring about his PC is not worth the long term and intended result of Scientology technology. GT

  5. #5
    Gold Meritorious Patron AngeloV's Avatar
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    Default Hi

    Welcome aboard! Nothing like some hellish experiences to make you appreciate the good life. If you feel like it, please share some your experiences in the GO with the board.
    A.V.
    Ex-Sea Org
    "That's what it's all about...credit cards to total freedom!" -- Sparrow
    Scientology is a vacation from reality gone terribly wrong.
    Before you speak - listen
    Before you spend - earn
    Before you write - think
    Before you die - live

  6. #6
    Patron with Honors Chess's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by hummingbird View Post
    Greetings, one and all.

    .
    And a big, BIG hello to you.
    Nothing like the smell of coffee on a sunday morning and all the time in the world to drink it
    "Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid." - John Wayne

  7. #7
    Patron with Honors hummingbird's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AngeloV View Post
    If you feel like it, please share some your experiences in the GO with the board.
    Ooops. I may have given the wrong impression inadvertently. I was never in the GO. Was regged, decided against it, thank hevvuns. No, I was just an auditor in a Class IV Org. But because we were an Org, there was a GO office and the GO and her husband were friends of me and my hubby. So it made it doubly odd to have her usher us out. At the time, a bunch of people had left, and had somehow, in those pre-Internet days, found out about Paulette Cooper and other folks. At first we were called in to her office to be "handled," you know, shown the "truth" behind the "lies" we were hearing (after a healthy O/W write-up, I'm sure), made sure we weren't PTS to those Suppressives, then my then-husband said, "Yeah? Well, what about the illegal activities of the GO?" Without a word, she ushered us out and locked the door behind us. Hilarious!

    It was like being a prisoner for years, never being able to find a way out your cell, when all of a sudden the back wall just falls down and you're outside. And no one wants you back inside! After years of "Oh, you're so valuable, we need you so much," Poof!! Instant persona non grata. I was just in shock. Numb. No sense of loss. I remember having the thought of "At least I won't be missing any income."
    But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.
    -Friedrich Nietzsche

  8. #8
    Diamond Invictus SP Type4_PTS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hummingbird View Post
    Without a word, she ushered us out and locked the door behind us. Hilarious!

    That IS hilarious! :D
    Glad you're here and decide to post Hummingbird!

  9. #9
    Ordinary Human Smilla's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by hummingbird View Post
    Greetings, one and all.

    I've been a member of OCMB for a couple years now, and have decided to come post and share over here. It has a little bit of a different flavor. Same user name, there as here.

    I was in the cult for about ten years, beginning in the early 70s. Joined staff in '74, I think, at a mission in California. My employment ("volunteerism"?) terminated abruptly in 1983, when a member of the Guardians Office ushered me and my then-husband OUT of her office and OUT of the building, the side door locking behind us, because my ex dared to question some of the activities of the Guardians Office back then. In a way, it was a relief. Even though we didn't suffer some of the horror stories I've read about in this forum and in other places, it was plenty bad enough, in terms of chronic sleep deprivation, poverty, and emotional abuse and duress. There's goldenrod on both of us.

    I was pregnant with my second at the time, so my attention was on other matters. After giving birth and sorting myself out a bit, I went back to school, then got a job. And life has continued to blossom and be truly worth living ever since.

    I liked what one of the other posters said about how life is just life. It has its ups and downs and nothing's really due to much of anything. You just muddle thru, and make the most of it you can.

    But I think I can look back now over those hellish years and be thankful that they didn't bleed any more money out of me than they did. I mean, yes, they stole eight years when I could have been making some money (the last year I was being paid maybe $10 to $20 a week for my "volunteer" activities). I'm also thankful in a bizarre, masochistic way, that I went thru all of that when I was young. It really toughened me up. I think I was maybe 22 or so when I joined staff, and I was 31 when I was booted off. Of course, it left me being skeptical and mistrustful of all religions, and a little spooky about Amway and stuff like that, but you take what you can how it comes at you.

    Plus, like someone else here said, it sure has left me with a vast appreciation of the small gifts of life. Being able to lounge around on a Sunday morning with coffee and the newspaper, going to see a movie with my new hubby, shopping with my daughters, watching the finches decimate the contents of their feeders, it's all something to be greatly cherished. Don't know if I'd quite be so grateful had I not been kept up until all hours, screamed at, told I was riddled with overts and withholds, all the stuff you guys who have been on staff know all so well, day after day after month after year.

    Yes, I'm a little damaged and bent, but in my 26 years out, I haven't met anyone who wasn't.

    So, that's me the short story. Looking forward to being part of this community.
    Welcome. I understand what you say about life. I get such pleasure from watching the blackbird who lives around my house. So pompous he is, but that's nice. Let him feel important. Today I was leaning on the wall, just thinking how great it is to be alive. Regardless of 'condition'. All that condition rubbish is just about making people compliant. Have a great, day, year life. Best from Smilla.
    Last edited by Moderator 1; 30th October 2012 at 02:47 AM.

  10. #10
    Truman Show Dropout Operating DB's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hummingbird View Post
    Ooops. I may have given the wrong impression inadvertently. I was never in the GO. Was regged, decided against it, thank hevvuns. No, I was just an auditor in a Class IV Org. But because we were an Org, there was a GO office and the GO and her husband were friends of me and my hubby. So it made it doubly odd to have her usher us out. At the time, a bunch of people had left, and had somehow, in those pre-Internet days, found out about Paulette Cooper and other folks. At first we were called in to her office to be "handled," you know, shown the "truth" behind the "lies" we were hearing (after a healthy O/W write-up, I'm sure), made sure we weren't PTS to those Suppressives, then my then-husband said, "Yeah? Well, what about the illegal activities of the GO?" Without a word, she ushered us out and locked the door behind us. Hilarious!

    It was like being a prisoner for years, never being able to find a way out your cell, when all of a sudden the back wall just falls down and you're outside. And no one wants you back inside! After years of "Oh, you're so valuable, we need you so much," Poof!! Instant persona non grata. I was just in shock. Numb. No sense of loss. I remember having the thought of "At least I won't be missing any income."
    Welcome hummingbird. Reading your post brought back the various feelings of when I decided I had had the last straw and simply just stopped going back to the Org. It's scary not knowing if you've made the right decision to leave but it doesn't take long to realize the decision was the best one you've ever made and the whole world opens up for you. It's so refreshing to enjoy the simple pleasures of life like you mentioned. Going to a movie and really enjoying it without feeling guilty and out-ethics. Making an income and spending it on you and not the cult. Buying a car for the first time! The nine years I was in I never had a car. It sucked. My dad was angry that I didn't have a car and visit my mother more often. Similar to you I was in from 20-29 years old and the time frame of October 9 1975-January 1, 1985. And I too had a distrust of religions or any kind of self-help programs. Thank goodness those traumatic years are behind us!

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