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Thread: Disconnected and it feels like I'm dying

  1. #21
    Crusader La La Lou Lou's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008


    It hurts when someone disconnects from you, I know, many of us have been through this.

    All I can say is be patient, have faith in the bond between you and the ones you love, stay connected to those who will stay connected and eventually the disconnected will come round.

    Blood is thicker than water in the end. Love is stronger than insane orders, and the cult will loose it's grip on the majority of once devout members.

  2. #22
    Patron with Honors
    Join Date
    Jun 2008


    If you go to Rediscover Scientology website, in the story of Tiziano Lugli, there is the statement of Robert Vaughn Young:
    "IN THE UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT FOR THE DISTRICT OF COLORADO - Civil Action No. 95-K-2143: Declaration of Robert Vaughn Young in Support of Defendant's Opposition to the Motion of Bridge Publications, Inc. for Summary Judgment Against all Defendants for Copyright Infringement. Subscribed and sworn to before me this day of February, 1997, Robert Vaughn Young.’

    Section 29 of this affidavit reads:

    “I have personal knowledge that material was written and issued under the name of L. Ron Hubbard that he did not author. While working at ASI, I personally wrote material to be issued under his name for several years. This ranged from simple messages to be sent to various organizational staff on events such as his birthday or a holiday, to my composing an entire large directive that was issued under his name. In these instances, they were done without his knowledge or consent. The directive that I wrote concerned the Scientology policy of ‘Disconnection’. The order to do this came from David Miscavige. Miscavige said that we had to reinstitute the Policy of Disconnection and that I was to write the policy for this. I wrote it and it went through several revisions. It was not sent to Hubbard for his approval, but was issued into the Church of Scientology. I might note that at the time I was not working for the Church of Scientology, but was working for a for-profit corporation.”

    I am sorry to hear about the disconnection Sai.
    Hang in there, your brother will find out later that the "Church" is fake.

  3. #23
    Silver Meritorious Patron Arthur Dent's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010


    I'm so sorry this is happening, Sai!
    And I'm so glad you have a boyfriend and all the rest here.

    I can say from experience that disconnection happens outside of scn. too. And it really hurts.

    However, in scn. it is a more tangible reason and you are not left in mystery. You know it is brainwashing and you must know for certain that you cannot blame yourself and that this disconnection will come to an end with all the pressure being brought to bear on scn. and the awakening of many people.

    Let your brother know that you love him and that you will never disconnect from him. Leave that door open a crack!

    This is not just or fair. I just hope it's over soon and that you are reunited before long.
    Arthur Dent.

    Lurkers, hate to disappoint, but it really is a cult. Sorry.

  4. #24
    Patron with Honors
    Join Date
    Sep 2008


    The number one cruelty in Scientology is disconnection. In its sixty-year history disconnection has literally destroyed hundreds of thousands of family relationships.

    Sai, Anonymous is fighting for you, and I hope we see the end of this soon.

    I want to recommend an excellent resource that I think is far too little known or used by ex-Scientologists: the International Cultic Studies Association (ICSA).

    It would be more accurate to call it the "International Cult Survivors Association". It is a large network of therapists Licensed Clinical Social Workers and academics who work with survivors of all sorts of cults. Most of them practice disconnection and ICSA will understand what you are going through.

    ICSA frequently sponsors gatherings for cult survivors to talk with each other and gain the group support they need.

    You can call or email Michael Langone, who is a psychologist, and he can help guide you.

    ICSA - International Cultic Studies Association
    P.O. Box 2265
    Bonita Springs, FL 34133
    Phone: 239.514.3081
    Fax: 305.393.8193

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    the netherlands


    Quote Originally Posted by Sai Ninja 2000 View Post
    how do i deal with this? what am i supposed to do? feel? think???
    You have found the right place to start with. Stay in touch. People at this forum care and listen.

    Suppose he would connect again. Wouldn't the pain disappear immediately? Simply because you said so. At the end of the day you are in control of your own feelings. Only you can take the pain away.

  6. #26
    Ordinary Human Smilla's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    In the deep waters


    Sorry that you are suffering so much. Try to be optimistic and keep in touch with people here. Things are changing very quickly, and your situation could improve any day. Keep believing in the good. Good luck.

    Smilla xx
    "Your Freezone stinks."

    Steve Hall

    "It is true that the term FZ includes many varients of Scn, and some may be inadequate. Or even wrong headed."

    - Terril Park

  7. #27


    Quote Originally Posted by Sai Ninja 2000 View Post
    thank you everyone for your kind words and advice.. i talked to my dad briefly today and he told me my brother has disconnected and that he would talk to me tomorrow. so i will find out whats happening with my parents tomorrow....

    i am lucky to have a wonderful boyfriend that i met through here in fact.. i love him and i know he is here for me. i dont know how i could do this alone. i dont know how i could do this without esmb...

    i miss my family.. more than ever now.
    My advice: spend some quality time with your boyfriend this week. Do stuff, hang out, etc. What will be is what will be.
    “The man who does not value himself, cannot value anything or anyone.”
    ― Ayn Rand,

  8. #28
    Patron with Honors Sai Ninja 2000's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009


    well i'm still alive so it hasn't killed me yet...

    this is so hard for me, i'm glad i can come here and talk, and i appreciate hearing everyone's thoughts. it kind of gets me out of my own head.

    i haven't heard from them yet but soon. at this point i feel almost apathetic, whatever happens happens and nothing i can do about it. i just hope that when the chance comes to actually talk to one of them, i'll have the courage to say whats really on my mind.

    i went for a walk earlier, i dont know if it helped, i think it did a little bit. i took my ipod with me and just sorta drowned out the thoughts with loud music, but it seemed like every song was written for them. everywhere i look i'm reminded of how things used to be.

    part of me is so angry and frustrated, and i guess thats a step up from crying my eyes out, though i'm still doing that a bit. i know things will get better, i just wish i didn't have to feel this way in the meantime, you know?
    Fear is not the natural state of civilized people. Aung San Suu Kyi

    In the end, if you know you did the right thing, you will be unbreakable. My Little Friend (ESMB user)

    But it looked so good on the box!!! FrankBooth (ESMB user)

    Live Your Life

  9. #29


    Hang in there, Sai honey. It will change.

  10. #30
    Silver Meritorious Patron Wants2Talk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008

    Default Missing loved ones ---Hug from me

    My anger at disconnection is what brought me here. It is what keeos me here and protesting. I work every day to be a somebody and also to enjoy my freedom and my communion with life.
    I can't describe to anyone who has not experienced it the pain of losing connection with three kids I raised.
    But I can tell the world and show the evil that is Scientology.
    Find the greatist thing you can to pray to and reconnect to that.

    pm if you want

    I think we need songs and poems and plays and movies and such about this.
    Express yourself.

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