Finishing the routing form was not enough for me when leaving FLAG, I'd heard of people getting chased to the airport because some random out tech was found after they left.
The point where I breathed a sigh of relief, my "it's done" point was the sound of my seat belt on the plane on the runway at Tampa airport.
It wasn't exhilaration, it was more like I relaxed, slumped even. I was no longer on "alert", like the Germans had passed and not seen me hiding just off the track kinda thing. I was off the hook, not just for another six months but for as long as I could hold the fuckers off.
Kevin Bloody Mackey
The Story of my Bridge to OT VII
"I'm not angry anymore, as more and more people rediscover their true selves through Scientology, together we WILL achieve a world without war, crime, and insanity." Rex Fowler, OTVII, before shooting his ex-partner three times in the head and then himself.
Just thought of another one.
When my petition to join the SO was disapproved because I had a toddler. I was so worried he actually might let me join, deep inside I did not really want to, but had so much pressure, another story. (I was already on staff.) When I got the disapproval I had to hide my exhilaration and act like....oh darn. Thank you ED Int !
The Christmas Party at FOLO EU in 1978. I over ordered the booze, the different nationalities had gotten their favorite foods (with the Italians leading the way) we started at 6pm on Christmas Eve and ate and drank and danced until 4 am. Vanella fell off her dinner chair about an hour and half into the meal and she was the first of many... it was so raucous, the cops came and Guillaume and I gave them a beer each. Nancy (my wife) got to eat all the steak she could handle (I swear she is part velociraptor) and I got to play Santa Claus while roaring drunk.
It was awesome...
the first thing that comes to mind is that feeling I got after working hard on staff all day and studying in the evening, yes, the feeling I got when eventually laying down in my bunk bed, with a wonderful feeling that BED had never felt so good.
It was also somewhere, where I had my own 'space' and was just for me alone (although it was in a larger dormitory).
I remember that it was pretty exhilarating at the time.
Can anybody else relate to that?
I also remeber when I said I wanted to leave, and it was taking weeks on sec checking and stalling ops, and I suddenly realised that I could just walk out the gates at Saint Hill.
When I did, and hitchhiked to London I felt as though I was in control again, and that felt wonderful!
No doubt about it. LEAVING some part of Scientology, whether as a staff member, Sea Org member, or the whole shebang, can be VERY exhilirating.
Thank God for overts, withholds and motivators. Without them many of us might never have left! (sarcasm)
"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts." - Bertrand Russell
"They must know how to kindle and fan an extravagent hope". - Eric Hoffer about the "true believer". "Total Freedom", "your eternity", and "OT" involve a few of the extravagant hopes in Scientology.
Go HERE to view and/or download the essay, "The Three Basic Scientology Beliefs".
I am truly into myself, yes. And I'm just as interested in other people. When I'm not thinking of one, I'm thinking of the other.