Wow.http://kiwianon.com/forums/index.php?topic=503.0
I just spent most of last night and today reading all of the thread. What an amazing story.
HIGHLY recommended.
Re: Cannot reach escape velocity
Wow.
I just spent most of last night and today reading all of the thread. What an amazing story.
HIGHLY recommended.
"You should not get the subject of individual improvement and religious experience confused with the social activity of large groups grinding up against each other. It is not worth your time. The groups come and go. The individuals don't. There have been many groups and civilisations, and there will be many more of them, but a decent individual is a relatively permanent thing." - Geoffrey C. Filbert 1982
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Re: Cannot reach escape velocity
PirateAndBum,Originally Posted by PirateAndBum
I am reading the story, will let you know what I think...
Crash
Re: Cannot reach escape velocity
Glad I could point you to it. It is a truly excellent story of a SO member's life and his leaving and finding his own spiritual path. I think he is a member on this board, but I don't know his nick.Wow.
I just spent most of last night and today reading all of the thread. What an amazing story.
HIGHLY recommended.
"Scientology, well understood, is a very powerful thing. Poorly relayed, poorly communicated, monopolized or used exclusively for gain, it could be a very destructive thing." - LRH June 1955
+ He told me he was obsessed by "an insatiable lust for power and money". - circa 1980 Mayo on LRH =
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Re: Cannot reach escape velocity
PirateAndBum,
I have spent the last three evenings since you mentioned it, reading it.
I like to take my time, I have never been a speed reader!
It is an interesting view from a man with an interesting past.
I have not finished it yet but have bookmarked it so will continue tonight...
I have a bit of a colourful past, but in quite a different way.
Perhaps it is drawing near the time for me to tell some of my story, only I worry that it will cause family and friends who are still in a lot of angst... In fact, I know it will...
I think that I will choose my time, if I do it at all... Not now though. I couldn't...
Crash
Last edited by Crashed Alien; 10th July 2012 at 06:38 PM. Reason: tpyo
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Re: Cannot reach escape velocity
I did not get a chance to finish the story, so will do later today.
It has inspired me though, so I am writing down some of the things that I have experienced...
I am mapping them out, and putting them in order where I can... It seems to be helping me to untangle some of my past... Also, I am having some hidden/lost memories return/reveal themselves - Pretty emotional and strong memories! Unexpected!
I can review this more objectively if it is written and decide whether it is even worth sharing...
I suppose this is all part of recovery? I don't know, I haven't seen the manual!
Crash
Last edited by Crashed Alien; 14th July 2012 at 08:19 AM. Reason: tpyo
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Re: Cannot reach escape velocity
This is hard...
It is as if I have died...
As if I have lost everything that I grew up with...
As if my past is from another life...
Everything I loved and knew has changed, is gone...
I feel lost...
Crash
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Re: Cannot reach escape velocity
Think of it as a metamorphosis. You used to be a caterpillar, and now you've emerged from the cocoon as a butterfly or moth, able to fly. Able to be distinctive. Able to move in a new dimension. Your past was in a different life... a different and very unfulfilling one. You're not obliged to stay there.
Real life is good. Good food, good friends, leisure time to enjoy them... the freedom to have opinions of your own and express them without fear. The freedom to fall in love, and have a real marriage rather than a Scieno-playdoh one. To have children and be with them as they grow up. To take an interest in your community, and your country, and to live without "enemies" and "Hill Ten" nonsense.
I suppose it takes time to realize how free you are, and to really take advantage of the possibilities. To be responsible for your own actions is scary at first... for anybody who grows up and leaves home... but to be responsible is to be RESPONSE-ABLE: able to respond. To choose.
Chose wisely... or not. Maybe just choose some stuff that will be amusing. Hang gliding is fun...
Love and best wishes,
'Minds
You don't have to worry about squirrels
unless you are a nut.
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Re: Cannot reach escape velocity
Sounds as though you should maybe consult a professional. Probably not a psychiatrist — and not a psychoanalyst! — but a counseling psychologist. Their time isn't cheap; the going rate can be as high as around $100 an hour. But it's not like auditing. There is no high, but you probably won't need more than six hours or so in total, over a few months, to get what a counselor can give. In my opinion it's worth it, at least if you find a good counselor. In some states your insurance will pay.
What counselors can give is mainly perspective. They're trained, with actual college and graduate degrees, and strict licensing requirements. And they've listened to people with problems, day after day, for years on end. They can tell you straight off whether what you're feeling is normal for your circumstances and likely to get better with time, or whether you're in urgent danger. And if they tell you, you can believe them; they have a lot of experience with this sort of stuff.
They can also give practical advice. They're normally pretty smart people, and again, they have a lot of training and experience. They do not generally have axes of their own to grind. They're not going to try to hook you on anything, or sign you up for anything long term. Their business model is usually one of treating people for a few months, and that's it — either the client has been helped through a difficult stage and is now carrying on with their own life, or else they have moved on to some other form of assistance.
That was my experience, anyway, when I was feeling pretty discouraged at one point a few years ago, and consulted a couple of counselors. I'd really recommend it. If they can't help, they'll tell you so, and be able to point you to someone else who might be able to help. But they may be able to serve as a sort of life coach for a few months, to get you over a hump. That may be all you need — people are tough, and can cope with a lot, so a little reliable advice is often all it takes.
Last edited by Student of Trinity; 15th July 2012 at 01:16 PM. Reason: Psychoanalysis is not the same as counseling! It's a Freudian brand name, and not so far from being a cult itself.
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Re: Cannot reach escape velocity
^ That's not bad advice. Being in a cult is a traumatic experience, and leaving is no picnic either. In a way, it's like when you quit smoking; you find yourself on a 'J' curve where you initially feel worse, but eventually become a lot better. Some people get assistance in giving up the smoking habit... why not when kicking the con of Ron?
Hubbard tried to set people against mental health professionals because (a) they were rivals for his business, and (b) they're able to help people get better.
The only thing I'd disagree with is the notion that such help is expensive. Talking therapies are probably available for free, throughout the EU and elsewhere, via a chat with your General Practitioner. The Samaritans may also be able to help, and they're always available.
You don't have to worry about squirrels
unless you are a nut.
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Re: Cannot reach escape velocity
FreeMinds,
Thank you... Much appreciated, I can't really say how much...
I prefer an engine, but might try hang-gliding at some point... Could be exciting.
My past is shattered at the moment, I cannot really tell if it is a matted ball of string or just a pile of splintered shards...
I do know that it is upsetting, and I cannot honestly say that I understand why it is so upsetting... But it is...
I think I just have to take each day as it comes at the moment - Luckily, my wife and children seem to be amazingly understanding... Real love...
I like this advice a lot, you are a compassionate and caring individual and I hope that I can thank you properly one day...
I am still compiling some ideas and sort of time lines for my story, but not sure if I will publish it or not...
I think that is really my mark of reaching escape velocity - I know that once the story is released, there will be no going back... Sadly!
Not all was bad, not all IS bad... There are a lot of lovely people in the CofS who care about others more than one can believe...
I am having difficulty with this... I hide it well, but you can probably detect it a little!Just kidding... I have already said more candid things here than I have been able to for the past nn years... Sort of a contradiction really...
I do consider myself to have been quite toughened up by life's experiences, yet this is very hard to deal with...
Very hard indeed!
Crash
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