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Thread: David Miscavige PR Victory

  1. #1
    Patron with Honors Natalie's Avatar
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    Default David Miscavige PR Victory

    Congratulations to the ecclesiastical leader of the Church of Scientology Mr. David Miscavige on your recent PR accomplishment.

    Between the Ruth Eckerd Hall recent distancing of themselves from the Church of Scientology, the Valeska Paris imprisonment scandal and the Tampa Bay Times expose on the financial raping of your parishioners, you have achieved the social acceptance level of groups like NAMBLA (North American Man Boy Love Association) and that of Nazi sympathizers.

    When your head hits the pillow this evening Mr. Miscavige, know that you and your gang of Al Qaeda wannabes have accomplished what no one has yet been able to.

    No external influence can take the credit that is due to you in your pursuit of the total obliteration of social acceptance of the Church of Scientology. Your cult is now just a punch line on Jay Leno.

    Benito Mussolini would be proud. Long live David Miscavige! Hip, hip hurray! Hip, hip hurray!
    "Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History"

  2. #2
    Gold Meritorious Patron scooter's Avatar
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    Default Re: David Miscavige PR Victory

    It's just a SMALL step in His ongoing climb up the ladder (to normal heights)
    Paul David Schofield
    "Scooter" to his friends

    -----
    If he has no friends and everyone's against him
    If he's failed in everything that he has tried
    Try to lift his load, help to bear his burden
    Let him know that you are walking by his side
    And if he feels that all is lost and he is fallen
    Try to place that poor man's feet on solid ground
    Just remember he's some mother's precious darlin'
    Always lift him up and never knock him down

    Blind Alfred Reed

    -----

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  4. #3
    Gold Meritorious Sponsor HelluvaHoax!'s Avatar
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    Default Re: David Miscavige PR Victory

    ...

    A Scientology child's bedside prayer before going to sleep.




    Dear God,
    I pray that Mommy and Daddy are always safe and healthy.
    I give you thanks for letting me go with Mommy and Daddy tonight
    and staying up real late so I could go to my first Scientology event.
    All those bright colorful pictures were moving so fast, Lord, and the
    man from the navy was talking so fast that it was like the time when
    my Chipmunk DVD was stuck on fast-forward and I couldn't stop giggling.
    And dear God, please let my mommy and daddy not be mad at me
    tomorrow for having to take me out in the middle of the event because
    I was laughing so hard that cal mag was coming out of my nose.
    God, I also pray that Mommy and Daddy are okay, like mentally, because
    they kept jumping up and down and applauding and yelling "hooray!" I
    never saw them like that at home and it kind of scared me to be honest.
    Lord, I pray that you send me some kind of message or sign because I can't go
    to sleep worrying that Mommy and Daddy actually believed all those crazy
    graph numbers being flashed on the big TV.
    ________________________

    Scientology literally saved my life! Without Ron's books I would have frozen to death!!! (see avatar)

    Scientology in one word? HelluvaHoax!

    I never felt as free as when I freed myself from "Total Freedom".

    For offended Scientologists reading this blasphemy about L. Ron Hubbard---my apologies for talking about real life without lying to you, like Scientology, with goo-goo theta-talk. I know you don't have a floating needle right now. You're not supposed to.

  5. #4
    Silver Meritorious Patron Petey C's Avatar
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    Default Re: David Miscavige PR Victory

    And speaking of His Miscavigeness (His Lowness), here's a song we used to sing and dance to at Happy Valley back in the day (when the security guards weren't looking).



    I love Randy Newman. The song's only flaw is the "nice" bit in the middle. But I'm sure he's singing this bit sarcastically.

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  7. #5
    Fool on the Hill Voltaire's Child's Avatar
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    Default Re: David Miscavige PR Victory

    He's a destructive person. If we are to refer to Hubbard's theories, I think it would appear that DM wants the cult to fail. I mean, he does everything he possibly can to fuck it up. There were already all sorts of problems there before DM got there, yes. Problems in policy, things Hubbard did, etc. But I think DM surpassed those and that's really saying something.
    I am truly into myself, yes. And I'm just as interested in other people. When I'm not thinking of one, I'm thinking of the other.

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  9. #6

    Default Re: David Miscavige PR Victory

    Definitely, yes, hooray for El COB David Miscavige. We have an excellent deep, deep mole in this man (man?).

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