Originally Posted by Gottabrain
I can't have been the only one to have fallen into the trap of learning quickly what was expected in scientology and then producing it ... perhaps as a way of seeming normal
It would have been hard (even at the beginning) to admit that the process
wasn't making the slightest difference (and that I was fine in the first place).
I never wanted to disappoint my auditor or get them sent to qual, and that became the thing I was mainly focused on!
The only way I knew of to get out of a boring and unproductive session with everybody remaining happy (ie no red tag) was to act as if all was going well, have the needle float, flash some good indicators and then run (discreetly) for the hills (for walkies!) as soon as I was set free.
I find it hard to believe now that I was so silly and that I just accepted that being held and controlled until I did as expected (very much like a trained dog) was OK.
I was never interested in so called 'case' after the initial flurry of excitement when new, but I really felt a sense of obligation to the auditor because I knew the hours they spent training and auditing and the pressure they were under to produce 'well done auditing hours'.
Sadly, it's the auditors that are the real highly trained dogs and they are lucky if they even get thrown a bone as thanks for all the effort they put in (in the cofs).
What an incredibly unhealthy environment to be in!