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Thread: I'm done

  1. #181
    Patron with Honors
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    Default Re: I'm done

    Thanks for all you've done Emma. I just discovered this board a month or two ago and it did help me. And also just got to say that's a great avatar/pic

  2. #182
    NOT drinking the kool-aid LA SCN's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm done

    Quote Originally Posted by Emma View Post
    You are correct that the group is not as benign as Infinite has made out. I've only gone back a couple of months reading the posts there, but I saw enough. Apparently it was much worse when it was first formed over a year ago. I heard from a number of people who left the group in disgust very early on, that some of the things written about me, Feral, Panda etc were just vile.

    The thing is though, it didn't worry me too much. I heard stuff every now & then about what was being written but I never really gave it too much thought.

    Then about a week after I lost my mother, a new Facebook group sprung up called "Ex Scientology message bored". I'm pretty sure the timing was no coincidence. Again it was initiated by Zinj and again was a closed group (as in you have to apply for membership or be nominated) but this time the posts were public. This group was a much "milder" group than trainspotting but the same "theme" (bash ESMB, bash Emma etc). I had to wonder why, when this group of people who already had a closed group and could "natter their brains out" already, needed a second group and one that anyone could read but not respond to.

    Anyway, after reading the shit on Trainspotting & the other group I realised that these people will never stop. It's been over a year since Zinj et al were banned and still they are at it. For some reason they think it's perfectly fine to sit back in their comfy little group and take pot shots, twist everything I do and say to fit their crazed conspiracy theory that I sold out to Marty blah blah blah. Perhaps they don't realise how insulting that is to me, or perhaps they do, I don't know. But either way they don't care.

    I really really don't need this shit in my life & the only way to get rid of it is to say "ok you win, I'm outta here". Which is actually fine because I've wanted to move on for ages anyway, and this has just given me the extra motivation.

    I hope someone will take it on. I don't want to lose the history either. It's valuable for that reason alone. But the person who does take it on had better be warned that you are fair game and every single decision you make will be thrown back in your face, turned into a conspiracy & you'll be taunted by this group. Maybe not straight away, but eventually they'll come for you too.
    I join you in that last, Emma. There is a lot of good yet to be done with ESMB. It is so nice to be part of a group that understands where I'm coming from being an Ex. Hopefully my child will be an Ex someday too and we can share love fully and unguardedly, without reservation.

    Here in the States its a quiet Friday night where I live; I thought of this for you. Enjoy

    LA (EX) SCN
    "Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the boisterous sea of liberty."
    Thomas Jefferson, 1784

  3. #183
    Patron Sierra_Sage's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm done

    Hello Emma,

    I know that I'm new to this board and all, but I want to thank you.

    I was in the cult of $cn from 16-28 years old. I have been out for 20 years, but I have never really healed from the experience. I just recently started to deal with the past and I must say that the ESMB is one of the main paths I have had to healing.

    Going from one's teen years into young adulthood in a cult is just Fuc*ed. It is probably the worst of years to be wasted. (Come to think of it, growing up in the cult would be far worse, so I'll be counting my blessings.)

    There is so many wonderful posts here that made me remember areas of my life that I have completely repressed. And thanks to the comedians on this board, (You all know who you are!), I was able to laugh a lot of it off in a healthy way, knowing that it was many of us that were screwed and not just me.

    I completely understand that you want to move on and not have the cult take up another second of you life. One day I will be there too.

    Meanwhile, thank you for all you have done. I am sure you have helped far more people worldwide than you will ever know about.

    Blessings.

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  5. #184
    Silver Meritorious Patron Megalomaniac's Avatar
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    Talking Thanks for all the smilies, Emma

    Quote Originally Posted by Emma View Post
    I know I've said it before and I probably won't be taken seriously , but I'm done with this.

    I'm done with ESMB

    I'm done with having Scientology play any part in my life.

    I'm done with everything to do with this game.

    ESMB is paid for until October 2012 at which time it will cease to exist. If you are an historian please take what you want from the archives before October. I'm prepared to give a copy of the database to a handful of people who can do what they want with it. Those people are Mick Wenlock, Paul Adams, Ray Hill & Ethercat. Those people might be able to salvage something.

    I suggest registering at "Reach for The Tipping Point" message board if you want a new board. It is very well run & I have the highest regards for Ethercat. Also I think OCMB is accepting new registrations currently. Glibby, Sponge & RIF do a great job over there and it deserves support too.

    I'm sorry if this announcement upsets anyone , but I simply can't do this anymore. I started out trying to do something good and it's ended up that I have made enemies everywhere. I don't want to read anymore crap about how I'm a sellout , a liar , an OSA operative , a bitch etc. I'm over it. I need to live my own life now , free of Scientology & the effects it has on people while in and also after they leave.

    I only have one piece of advice left for anyone considering leaving Scientology. Read about Hubbard & find out who he really was. Read stories from OT8s who made it to the top of the Bridge & found out there was nothing there. Educate yourself as much as you can and as quickly as you can and once you've come to an understanding of what happened to you - RUN LIKE FUCK. Get away from ANYTHING & EVERYTHING to do with Scientology including groups formed by exes.

    Go back to school. Travel. Play soccer. Join Rotary. Meditate. Raise kids. Volunteer for the Red Cross. Do ANYTHING except hang around. Scientology took too much of your life already. Don't give it one more second than necessary to recover.

    Over & out.

    Mac
    It will come to an end. My argument is, it does not have to end badly. -- Ron Paul

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  7. #185
    Cabal Of One Panda Termint's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm done

    Quote Originally Posted by oneonewasaracecar View Post
    After reading this, I understand that Scientology 'tech' and particularly, the upper levels truly shut down people's humanity.

    A normal person would not be able to attack someone while they are vulnerable and grieving. Their human emotions would stop them doing this.

    There are a number of people, still tolerated on this board, who behaviour is such that they capable of ignoring a majority opinion that they are wrong on issues regarding Scientology. I cannot imagine how fucked up the people are, who are so intolerable as to need to be banned.

    It seems that the people you have banned are among those that will never recover, in part, because they don't think anything is wrong with them.

    I cannot imagine what it must be like to tolerate the harassment of truly deluded people who have allowed themselves, perhaps unwittingly, to become evil monsters. My sympathies to your for your varying and ongoing losses.

    As to the twisted little group - you are deranged, delusional people who have lost your humanity. You are Ronbots. You have the hand of long dead psychopath up your arse making you attack people. You shall not breathe fresh air this side of the grave.
    Good theory, wrong people. The lack of humanity is just as obvious in those in that group who "never-were-a-scientologist".
    Dave Gibbons - Sydney, Australia.
    Scientologist: 1974 - 2008
    Ex-scientologist: 2008 - 2014
    Human Being: 2014 -
    I don't believe everything I read on the Internet.
    I do believe everything I write.

  8. #186
    1st camera hat OT IX lotus's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm done

    Hello Emma,

    I was saddened to learn the passing of your mom and please accept
    my most sincere condoleance.

    You need time to heal the grief in peace and far from the morons


    Not the least for an admin is to not loose respect . Very much rare on any message board. You did succed in that , plus gaining admiration from hundreds of your regular members. And not the least is the real difference you have made in many people's life with this board and manage it to keep a harmony within a community with so emotionnal take on a so sensitive subject.

    Morons can only critics as they can't acheive anything good and real.

    Wishing you to keep in mind your very good friends you made here and to succed, in a moment, to forget these virtual character living into their virtual dark world
    Some people, unfortunately a very poor life

    Have a very good week-end with true family in a true home surrounding with true relationships and true good emotions.

    Hope I made myself understandable

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  10. #187
    Crusader Sindy's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm done

    This whole thing is absolutely ridiculously out of control.
    "Scientology: The only game in the universe where the rapist is your ethics officer." - HelluvaHoax

    "Yes Scientology at this point is nothing but its own funeral. You might as well leave early and beat the traffic. " - Thrak

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  12. #188

    Default Re: I'm done

    Quote Originally Posted by Panda Termint View Post
    Good theory, wrong people. The lack of humanity is just as obvious in those in that group who "never-were-a-scientologist".
    Why bother, P? The person to whom you responded so clearly misrepresented the matter as to be either wholly ignorant to the point of stupidity or deliberately trolling the thread.


    Mark A. Baker
    "Hubbard is alive and well. He lives through his
    creations."
    - Purple Rain



    "Because nothing has the be true forever. Just for long enough, to tell you the truth."

    - T. Pratchett, The Truth

  13. #189
    Admin Emma's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm done

    Quote Originally Posted by Sindy View Post
    This whole thing is absolutely ridiculously out of control.
    Not really. All that has happened is that a light got shined down a rat hole and it helped me make a decision.

    Trainspotting will go on being what it always has been, ESMB will most likely go on without me, and whoever takes over will hopefully be stronger than me and not let this kind of shit affect them.

    Pretty soon it will be business as usual.
    Better a Has-been than a Never-was. But better a Never-was than a Never-tried-to-be. - Anonymous.

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  15. #190

    Default Re: I'm done

    Quote Originally Posted by Emma View Post
    Not really. All that has happened is that a light got shined down a rat hole and it helped me make a decision.

    Trainspotting will go on being what it always has been, ESMB will most likely go on without me, and whoever takes over will hopefully be stronger than me and not let this kind of shit affect them.

    Pretty soon it will be business as usual.
    I think you are brave. Words do hurt - they wound horribly - and I can't think of anyone who deserves that less than you. I have found you to be a warm, down-to-earth, compassionate, strong woman worthy of respect and always worth listening to. I can't tell you how many times you've said something so plainly and sensibly - and I've wished I had that wisdom. I agree with racecar that the timing of all this is particularly evil. Sending all my best wishes your way, and hurting for you as well. I know there are many laughs and happy times waiting for you around the corner, and a life they can't touch. Take care. Be safe. Be happy. Thank you and much love, Estelle.
    Truly, the colored race are the most cheerful and forgiving people on the face of the earth. That their masters sleep in safety is owing to their superabundance of heart; and yet they look upon their sufferings with less pity than they would bestow on those of a horse or a dog.

    Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl by Harriet A. Jacobs
    Page 140-41

    "Jesus Christ was liberal and lefty." ~ La La Lou Lou

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