Re: Just sayin'
Raccoons. Here's a favorite house warming story.Originally Posted by DagwoodGum
I posted most of this elsewhere but it's worth pasting it here.
I recently had been feeling that I need to get a new vehicle when I never feel that was as I love mine and it still has low miles so this happens this weekend:
I posted - "Just for one, try having a raccoon climb into your vehicle through the ac system because you'd hauled away his mate in a live trap earlier that day as they'd been raiding your orchard. He apparently saw me drive away with his pal when I drove far enough away to let it go.
Later as I was driving across a gigantic high span bridge it panicked, trapped in my dash and started kicking violently to where I thought the dash was going to explode in my face like I had a bomb going off. He must have got tangled in some wiring and died as I can't run my ac without a hideous wining sound and you can smell the stench from his rotting carcass for a block. Had he been successful in breaking out of my dash he would have ended up in my lap as I tooled along at 55mph on a ten story high span crossing the Caloosahatchie River in Ft. Myers, FL. I had to put on an actual Israeli surplus gas mask to get near the vehicle, remove all my stuff and move in further from the house. It WAS a nice vehicle too, a Toyota 4-Runner Sport Package with 4WD and now I can't imagine driving the vehicle ever again! Now who's had a weirder day? Do I win the award? What is it???? Oh, goodie, goodie!!!
We had just moved into this house after having it built in '96. I heard this noise on the deck, and figured some wild animals were up to no good as our yard butts against a woodland.
I grabbed a practice sword I'd been using earlier and opened the back door. There were two huge (maybe 40 lbs ) raccoons rummaging around just feet from me, making a huge mess.
"Get the fuck out of here," I growled, brandishing the practice sword.
They both turn around and looked at me like I'm an idiot. Sort of like, "if this fool doesn't get his dumb self back in that house pretty soon, we're gonna kick the shit out of him and shove that sword up his memory lane.
They were just so completely unconcerned.
I just started laughing.
Putting up my hands in concession, I sort of said, "Okay, guys. Have it your way. I'll just clean up after you in the morning."
We've been feeding baby coons every summer for the past sixteen years.
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That's a shame for me but I can understand the reasons. I will have to make the most of my time here for the short time this site remains then and be glad it is early September and not the end of theat month. Cheers, Bill.
and 
- and Emma is done, but not ESMB. 
