One major thing that happened to me while I was de-programming was to realize that scn condoned my irresponsibility for my life and choices. I became dependant on the tech for EVERY decision in my life instead of seeking my own truths. Until I realized that, I wasn't truly free. After that scn RAN-OUT of my brain real quick!
I have recently (a mth or so ago) had a major shift in a very similar way. I'm trying to write about it on my (story) thread but since I shifted this piece of junk life has been rather busy.
The scientology system permeated my EVERY decision. I'm gonna make an effort to try to explain this on my (story) thread in the next few days. My whole world has opened up since kicking this installed piece of junk out of my head and my every thought.
You rock renegade!
Here's to life! And freedom from mind-control!
Yep, scn first promotes responsibility and being cause, etc. Once you are suckered in, all that gets reversed on you. Just like the liar who adamantly says "I HATE LIARS!" I then believed they'd never lie and my guard was taken down, I trusted whole heartedly, disarming my ability to filter out lies, obfuscating it with emotions rather than good sense. Scn is dangerous stuff. The lure is so appealing. Who doesn't want to be more able, smarter, kinder, moral, spiritual, etc.?
What I found out was, my ruin was actually a path to enormous self-discovery AFTER I got out of scn. I stopped fighting it and myself like a good scn who has to battle with being down-tone and keeping your reactive mind suppressed with key-outs, o/w write ups, courses and auditing. Fooey with that! In 30+ years I still had that ruin, it was made worse by the fact that it was never handled after all that time and money contributing to more self-invalidation thereby making my ruin even BIGGER than what it was when I got in.