Choose a delusion, or don't. In the end, your bodily needs will have to be met, and your desire for communion with others will likely lead to a social circle and a family of your own.
Get a job. They're easy to find. Hold that job. Your skills will improve, your resume will improve, your morale will improve. Get promoted, or get another job when your resume shows you are a better candidate. Go to college. Study many subjects. Pick one that interests you, or don't.
None here can answer your questions, because they are existential questions.
I recommend reading the great philosophers of the past (antiquity) for company. It's better than trying to get through to most people for a chat. In particular, read the Stoics.
Enjoy life. There are many hedonic and eudaimonic pleasures to be sampled. Try them all. Pick one, or don't. Life is to be lived. Don't ask another how or why to live it, lest they become your God.