The Scientology Cha-cha

[NoName]

I think I'm witnessing the the last little bit of one of them cha-cha's right now.

[SweetnessandLight]

You know, it's actually a good thing to be able to laugh about it like this!

Put it in context, file it under life lessons learned, and keep on dancing, folks!

[GoNuclear]

My vision was never a Scientology dance-off, my idea was more for a Scientology musical. To that end, I did a few parodies of broadway musical numbers. Originally, I envisioned this one being performed at some protest outside of some Cof$. Unfortunately, it never came about.

I'll repost here.

Pete


When I Was A Lad
(Parody of When I Was A Lad from HMS Pinafore Comedy Opera)


Anon as Miscavige:

When I was a lad I dropped from school,
And became another Hubbard serving fool.
By nineteen eighty when the law drew near,
I helped L. Ron Hubbard disappear.

Anon choir chorus:

(He helped L. Ron Hubbard disappear.)

Anon as Miscavige:

I sucked up to L. Ron so thoroughly,
That now I rule the Church of Scientology!

Anon choir chorus:

(He sucked up to L. Ron so thoroughly,
That now he rules the Church of Scientology!)


Anon as Miscavige:

My post was to get the coast all clear,
I catered to L. Ron Hubbard’s every fear.
I spotted the major liability,
So I organized a document shredding party.

Anon choir chorus:

(So he organized a document shredding party.)

Anon as Miscavige:

I broke every law with a hand so free,
That now I rule the Church of Scientology!

Anon choir chorus:

(He broke every law with a hand so free,
That now he rules the Church of Scientology!)

Anon as Miscavige:

The old man’s power, t’was on the wane,
Every day passing he was more insane.
The Broeker’s and I, we did conspire,
Then L. Ron Hubbard’s body was tossed in the fire.

Anon choir chorus:

(Then L. Ron Hubbard’s body was tossed in the fire.)

Anon as Miscavige:

And my little Coup de E’ta’ went so mightily,
That now I rule the Church of Scientology!

Anon choir chorus:

(His little Coup de E’ta’ went so mightily,
That now he rules the Church of Scientology!)


Anon as Miscavige:

Of The Churches’ funds I acquired such a grip,
On that I always disallowed a partnership.
The Broekers, they just weren’t as mean,
So now, Pat and Annie, they are never seen.

Anon choir chorus:

(So now, Pat and Annie, they are never seen.)

Anon as Miscavige:

With power so unfettered and free,
That’s how I rule the Church of Scientology!

Anon choir chorus:

(With power so unfettered and free,
That’s how he rules the Church of Scientology!)


Anon as Miscavige:

I grew so ruthless, that I became,
Sole dictator of the big con game.
With Sea Org slaves at my beck and call,
Me thinks that I will never take the fall.

Anon choir chorus:

(He thinks that he will never take the fall.)

Anon as Miscavige:

I killed my conscience so thoroughly,
The lawyers let me honcho Scientology!

Anon choir chorus:

(He killed his conscience so thoroughly,
The lawyers let him honcho Scientology!)


Solo Anon:

Sea Ogres all, whoever you may be,
If you know that Davey’s clear out of his tree,
If you’re being treated like a piece of stool,
Wake up now and realize that just ain’t too cool.

Anon choir chorus:

(Wake up now and realize that just ain’t too cool.)

Solo Anon:

It’s time to blow from the org of the sea,
And get the heck out of Scientology!

Anon choir chorus:

(It’s time to blow from the org of the sea,
And get the heck out of Scientology!)

[Div6]

Any discussion of this type must include the classic "I am the very model of a modern legal criminal"

http://www.jeliza.net/parody/pirates...egal-criminal/

To be sung to the tune of, “I am the Very Model of a Modern Major General.”
Check with your attorney to determine if this is a fair use.

I am the legal eagle of the Church of Scientology,
For First Amendment purposes that’s what’s called “a theology”;
Of course we don’t believe in God–if you do, we don’t mind, as such:
We’ll convert you (and your property) through Operation Midas Touch.

I oversee manipulation of the law in Dennis Erlich’s case,
I practice my beliefs before Judge Whyte by lying to his face.
In short, in matters criminal, both overt and subliminal,
I sing the songs of L. Ron from his copyrighted hym-n-al.

Chorus:

In short, in matters criminal, both overt and subliminal,
She sings the songs of L. Ron from his copyrighted hym-n-al!

By now you’ve heard our leader sailed a Navy ship and saved the day,
At Flag, Sea Org and L.A. we salute and shout, “Hip, hip, hooray!”
Our records show he seized the reigns and ne’er once failed to take them up.
And, like the facts in Erlich’s case, he ne’er once failed to make them up!

The SPs who are PTS the OSA will deal with,
The HCOPLs work best to RPF your meal with.
Though Grady Ward can say that I am just the ‘ho of babble-on’…
babble-on…
babble-on…
Ah yes!:
Such acronyms I’d like to wager ten fair games of Scrabble[tm*] on!

Chorus:

Such acronyms she’d like to wager ten fair games of Scrabble on!
Such acronyms she’d like to wager ten fair games of Scrabble on!
Such acronyms she’d like to wager ten fair games of Scrabble, Scrabble on!

At redefining words I make George Orwell do a double-think,
Uncork me and the law’s my punch-bowl; I’m Jim Jones’s bubble-drink.
In short, in matters criminal, both overt and subliminal,
I sing the songs of L. Ron from his trade-secreted hym-n-al!

Chorus:

In short, in matters criminal, both overt and subliminal,
She sings the songs of L. Ron from his trade-secreted hym-n-al!

Now, let me be perfectly “clear”:
Our church is not a cult because our church is not a cult because
Our church is (nod) occult. Be. Cuss our churchies. Not ack. Old beak nose.
Arch urges noted. Culled because hour charge is nada. Gold–be cozy.
Cherish Tom, Nicole (big house–ours?). Churlish snotty cold pig hose.

How odd it is that “audit” is the term we use for “therapy”,
The same word from the IRS would set a grizzly bear a-pee.
But since we’ve infiltrated them we are not scared a bit ourselves,
When they come to examine us, we’ll know how to audit ourselves!

Chorus:

When they come to examine us, we’ll know how to audit ourselves!
When they come to examine us, we’ll know how to audit ourselves!
When they come to examine us, we’ll know how to audit, audit ourselves!

There’s only one remaining law with which we haven’t been attacked:
The Racketeer-Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act.
Of course we won’t defend ourselves; we’ll fire lying flak at them:
If Justice files a RICO suit, we’ll counterfile one back at them!

Though no one is beyond redemption, I am on the road to hell,
The money talks. The money talks. The money talks. I know too well.
In short, with ethics minimal, from L. Ron’s secret hym-n-al,
I am the very model of a modern legal criminal!

Chorus: In short with ethics minimal, from L. Ron’s secret hym-n-al,
She is the very model of a modern legal criminal!

* After all, dears, this is *only* a dispute over intellectual property!

[Lurker5]

This one needs a

[A.K. Myers]

Sea Org Samba

RPF Break Dance

Chain Locker Tango

EPF Shuffle

ain't dancing but for a DJ how 'bout : Reg Rap

How about: Grey Rag Time

[HelluvaHoax!]

This one needs a

Wooooooooooo! Thanks for the bump or I would never have seen TAJ's absolute gem of a post!

And, who can forget that last wondrous night at the Dianetics Disco where we all danced. . .

The Hubbard Hustle
The Whatsit Watusi
The BPC Boogaloo
The Motivator Mambo
The PTS Polka

And, now, The J&D Jitterbug