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Thread: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - PART 3

  1. #731
    $cieno funnies lover lotus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 Stupid "STABLE DATUMS" in Scientology

    Quote Originally Posted by HelluvaHoax! View Post
    .

    Cross-posted from another thread discussing Dr. Hubbard's infallible scripture about "speed of particle flow" and "power".

    ---


    If "Speed of Particle Flow Alone Determines Power", then why is the world's #1 speediest animal on the list of endangered species the past 50 years--almost nearing extinction?!


    Scientologists are not yet able to move their bodies quite that fast; nonetheless, they have been extraordinarily successful at making other items dive downwards at breathtaking speeds--such as their membership statistics.


    I've known of a $cientologist who was a true believer of ''speed of particules'' and ''randomity'' both, in his mind, determines power.

    A decades later..after he had gone through his traumatising experiences within the cult...he could barely spend an hour still, was unable to relax and put his mind to calm down...He needed to create, a lot of randomity...It seems one of the most difficult task for him to just be quiet and still a few minutes..he had to learn it, with help of dear ones. A long process though for such a simple basic thing humans are supposed to be able to do for resting a little. I too had a long time like that!

    Lotus cult:

    ''speed of particule flow alone determine stupidity ''




    The average turtle "runs" about 3 to 4 miles per hour. They walk at a rate of a little over 1 mile per hour. Turtles lives long life !

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  3. #732
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    Default Top 100 Stupid PROMO PIECES in Scientology

    .


    Re-posted from Mike Rinder's THURSDAY BLOG, which always has an entertaining and funny mix of of flamboyantly "uptone" and "winning" Scn promo pieces that are truly cringeworthy.

    Mike's comments introducing each always highlights the absurd irony of delusional OT losers pretending to be saving "this planet".

    There are so many funny and ironic ones to chose from each week, but here's an example in today's postings.

    ----


    400,000 miles

    Do they think it’s cute to say miles instead of dollars? Like it doesn’t sound crass or something? And just so you guys know, $400Gs isn’t even 5% of what you need.



    One of the things that struck me about Scientologists using the thinly veiled code words like "miles" to hide the actual nature of their transactions (rather than "Give us 500 thousand dollars sucker!!") is this; the only other businesses that advertise with such blatant subterfuge are low-life predatory scammers out to take all your money--without the slightest twinge of conscience about what happens to you after that, such as:

    * DRUG DEALERS: They speak/write in code language, attempting to throw off law enforcement, using the term "roses" for amphetamines. Example: A DEA-tapped phone call where the Drug Dealer calls up his Supplier and orders "...a kilo of roses".

    * WHORES: They also advertise in newspapers and online throughout the USA, using the super-secret code word roses instead of dollars--in the sadly mistaken belief that law enforcement can't bust them because they didn't say the word 'dollars' when asking for the John's money. ("Hey, I only asked him to bring me 200 roses, because I am a romantic kind of (girl/pimp)!"


    Scientology products & promo fit right in with their fellow "humanitarians" (above)--who are likewise pedaling DELUSION (drug-induced vs. the delusion of being a god-like OT); and soliciting folks' hard-earned money to get royally FUCKED (by whores or by "going up the Bridge to Total Freedom").

    At least with drug dealers and hookers, you get a product for your money-- instead of a "completion certificate" that merely claims you got a product! LOL
    Last edited by HelluvaHoax!; 24th March 2017 at 02:07 AM.
    ________________________

    Scientology literally saved my life! Without Ron's books I would have frozen to death!!! (see avatar)

    Scientology in one word? HelluvaHoax!

    I never felt as free as when I freed myself from "Total Freedom".

    For offended Scientologists reading this blasphemy about L. Ron Hubbard---my apologies for talking about real life without lying to you, like Scientology, with goo-goo theta-talk. I know you don't have a floating needle right now. You're not supposed to.

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  5. #733
    Gold Meritorious Sponsor HelluvaHoax!'s Avatar
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    Default Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

    ..

    Is thinking this infamous internet meme is hilarious an "evil purpose" that I need to audit out?






    Until I am duly informed that I need to handle my reactive mind's laughter at the above, I feel diabolically compelled to compound the overt by updating it (below). . .


    ________________________

    Scientology literally saved my life! Without Ron's books I would have frozen to death!!! (see avatar)

    Scientology in one word? HelluvaHoax!

    I never felt as free as when I freed myself from "Total Freedom".

    For offended Scientologists reading this blasphemy about L. Ron Hubbard---my apologies for talking about real life without lying to you, like Scientology, with goo-goo theta-talk. I know you don't have a floating needle right now. You're not supposed to.

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  7. #734
    Gold Meritorious Sponsor HelluvaHoax!'s Avatar
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    Default Top 100 Stupid LIES in Scientology

    ..


    Hubbard's, Miscavige's and Scientology's incessant LYING about just about everything is a very fascinating phenomena.

    Aside from the sociopathic and frequently criminal nature of their LYING, there is something more profoundly revealing when they, for example, even their celebrities, like Kirstie Alley blatantly LIE about having "....ten million members".

    -- It goes beyond the immorality of lying as a PR stratagem.

    -- It is something even beyond mental illness.

    -- And, surprisingly, it even transcends the diabolically effective propaganda technique known as
    "THE BIG LIE".

    Yes, any one (or all three) of those "reasons" could somewhat explain why Scientologists lie so often, easily, fluidly and 'without remorse'.

    One could almost observe that Scientologists "religiously" lie; and that would be true both literally and figuratively--for these reasons:

    LYING IS RELIGOUS SCRIPTURE IN SCIENTOLOGY.

    LYING IS PRACTICED AND DRILLED IN SCIENTOLOGY (e.g. TR-L)

    LYING IS AN ESSENTIAL PART
    OF SCIENTOLOGY "TECH"

    LYING IS AT THE CORE OF THE BRIDGE TO
    TOTAL FREEDOM IN ALL THE SECTIONS
    FROM OT I THROUGH OT VIII AND BEYOND--
    BECAUSE AN OT HAS MASTERED POSTULATES.

    AND SCIENTOLOGY POSTULATES (WHETHER
    TONE 40 OR OTHERWISE
    ) ARE ALWAYS
    LIES THAT A OT SENDS FORTH INTO
    THE WORLD IN THE BLIND FAITH
    HOPE AND BELIEF THAT IN DOING
    SO THEY WILL HAPPEN



    That last one is the ultimate secret of Scientology's chronic and absurdly ludicrous lying--even when nobody believes it. And even when the rest of the world is laughing in Scientology's face because of those obvious (and pathetic) lies.

    Becoming OT (i.e. God) requires the ability to postulate. And postulates work (theoretically) by first stating/intending your wish; and then waiting for it to come true. Postulates are, therefore, a kind of invisible and portable Aladdin's lamp that Scientologists carry around with them, and one of Hubbard's "scientific" discoveries is that it's not just 3 wishes you get--you are entitled to as many wishes as you want, forever!

    Free wishes for eternity! What's not to like?

    Ergo, when slow-cogniter Kirstie Alley goes on TV and Radio blithely asserting Scientology's "10,000,000" members--she is postulating! It's a religious ritual and rite, an incantation to conjure up and/or invoke the invisible theta universe to respond to that deeply held wish--so that it will become true.

    Based on the frequency of lies spewing forth from Scientology and Scientologists, one may safely conclude that they are extremely religious people!


    LOL
    Last edited by HelluvaHoax!; 30th March 2017 at 12:58 AM.
    ________________________

    Scientology literally saved my life! Without Ron's books I would have frozen to death!!! (see avatar)

    Scientology in one word? HelluvaHoax!

    I never felt as free as when I freed myself from "Total Freedom".

    For offended Scientologists reading this blasphemy about L. Ron Hubbard---my apologies for talking about real life without lying to you, like Scientology, with goo-goo theta-talk. I know you don't have a floating needle right now. You're not supposed to.

  8. #735
    Truman Show Dropout Operating DB's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - PART 3

    If I'm doing my math right, even if there were 12 million scientologists and the current population of Earth is c. 7,515,284,153 and 12,000,000 divided by 7,515,284153 = .15968% or a 15th of one percent or a mere 1.59 persons per 1000 people would supposedly be a scientologist. That is nothing to brag about. If the actual number of scientologists on this planet is the 25,000 to 40,000 I'm not even going to bother doing the math since the small percentage would be so laughable my reactive brain might explode from line charging too hard.

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  10. #736
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    Default Re: Top 100 Stupid PROMO PIECES in Scientology

    Quote Originally Posted by HelluvaHoax! View Post
    .


    Re-posted from Mike Rinder's THURSDAY BLOG, which always has an entertaining and funny mix of of flamboyantly "uptone" and "winning" Scn promo pieces that are truly cringeworthy.

    Mike's comments introducing each always highlights the absurd irony of delusional OT losers pretending to be saving "this planet".

    There are so many funny and ironic ones to chose from each week, but here's an example in today's postings.

    ----





    One of the things that struck me about Scientologists using the thinly veiled code words like "miles" to hide the actual nature of their transactions (rather than "Give us 500 thousand dollars sucker!!") is this; the only other businesses that advertise with such blatant subterfuge are low-life predatory scammers out to take all your money--without the slightest twinge of conscience about what happens to you after that, such as:

    * DRUG DEALERS: They speak/write in code language, attempting to throw off law enforcement, using the term "roses" for amphetamines. Example: A DEA-tapped phone call where the Drug Dealer calls up his Supplier and orders "...a kilo of roses".

    * WHORES: They also advertise in newspapers and online throughout the USA, using the super-secret code word roses instead of dollars--in the sadly mistaken belief that law enforcement can't bust them because they didn't say the word 'dollars' when asking for the John's money. ("Hey, I only asked him to bring me 200 roses, because I am a romantic kind of (girl/pimp)!"


    Scientology products & promo fit right in with their fellow "humanitarians" (above)--who are likewise pedaling DELUSION (drug-induced vs. the delusion of being a god-like OT); and soliciting folks' hard-earned money to get royally FUCKED (by whores or by "going up the Bridge to Total Freedom").

    At least with drug dealers and hookers, you get a product for your money-- instead of a "completion certificate" that merely claims you got a product! LOL

    They don't even say "move up the Bridge" anymore. Now it is "move up in status".
    phenomanon

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  12. #737
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    Default Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - PART 3

    Quote Originally Posted by Operating DB View Post
    If I'm doing my math right, even if there were 12 million scientologists and the current population of Earth is c. 7,515,284,153 and 12,000,000 divided by 7,515,284153 = .15968% or a 15th of one percent or a mere 1.59 persons per 1000 people would supposedly be a scientologist. That is nothing to brag about. If the actual number of scientologists on this planet is the 25,000 to 40,000 I'm not even going to bother doing the math since the small percentage would be so laughable my reactive brain might explode from line charging too hard.


    LOL

    Dying to do the math on that one!

    Hypothetically, 40,000 active Scientolologists.

    7.5 billion people "on this planet"

    0.0000053333333

    Appx 5 persons per one million.

    After 67 years of unprecedented flourishing and prospering, I get the sense that Scn might have an outpoint somewhere. LOL
    ________________________

    Scientology literally saved my life! Without Ron's books I would have frozen to death!!! (see avatar)

    Scientology in one word? HelluvaHoax!

    I never felt as free as when I freed myself from "Total Freedom".

    For offended Scientologists reading this blasphemy about L. Ron Hubbard---my apologies for talking about real life without lying to you, like Scientology, with goo-goo theta-talk. I know you don't have a floating needle right now. You're not supposed to.

  13. #738

    Default Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - PART 3

    Quote Originally Posted by HelluvaHoax! View Post
    LOL

    Dying to do the math on that one!
    Hypothetically, 40,000 active Scientolologists.

    7.5 billion people "on this planet"

    0.0000053333333

    Appx 5 persons per one million.

    After 67 years of unprecedented flourishing and prospering, I get the sense that Scn might have an outpoint somewhere. LOL
    Okay -- so after 67 years spent getting 40,000 people participating, how long would it take to get everyone participating? Take into account that 353,000 babies are born every day! ;)

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  15. #739
    Gold Meritorious Sponsor HelluvaHoax!'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - PART 3

    .

    Quote Originally Posted by Anonycat View Post
    Okay -- so after 67 years spent getting 40,000 people participating, how long would it take to get everyone participating? Take into account that 353,000 babies are born every day! ;)
    Excellent point!

    The solution seems obvious if we only apply Dr. Hubbard's technology. . .

    SOLUTION: Issue Non-Enturbulation Orders on anyone on Earth having sex (for "OUT 2D")--because if anyone gets pregnant, it puts CI on planetary clearing.
    ________________________

    Scientology literally saved my life! Without Ron's books I would have frozen to death!!! (see avatar)

    Scientology in one word? HelluvaHoax!

    I never felt as free as when I freed myself from "Total Freedom".

    For offended Scientologists reading this blasphemy about L. Ron Hubbard---my apologies for talking about real life without lying to you, like Scientology, with goo-goo theta-talk. I know you don't have a floating needle right now. You're not supposed to.

  16. LOL! Anonycat laughed at this post
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