Originally Posted by strativarius
We of the staff of the Church believe that:
We staff members are Clearing the planet!
We staff members are Salvaging This Sector!
We staff members deliver the miracles of auditing/training to everyone!
We staff members are doing all these things so that everyone can be Totally Free!
We staff members are doing all these things so everyone can can achieve unprecedented happiness!
Everyone except we staff members.
Because we staff members have screwed up Ron's brilliant plans, squirreled Ron's ingenious technology and failed to stop our miserable sabotage of Ron's dream by our counter-intention and evil purposes.
We staff members therefore do not deserve the Total Freedom and unprecedented happiness.
We staff members greatly prefer threats, poverty, lower conditions, RPF, deprivations, overboards, chain lockers, imprisonment, psychological terrorism, physical beatings and other likewise quite vital technical actions to control our bank dramatizations.
We staff members are the downstats of the world, and as such we appreciate the fact that some time in the distant future, up the time track, we might possibly earn back our eternities--once we have a proven track record of making things go right along with consistently soaring upstat graphs.
We staff members are forever grateful that senior management uplines have given us this slim but precious opportunity to be free and happy like the rich public and famous celebrities that we service.
We staff members are also humbled in the knowledge that our Commodore and COB have suffered mightily like we have--because they too have taken vows of poverty and denied themselves every conceivable MEST freedom, pleasure and luxury--so that we staff members might receive and enjoy these earthly blessings first.