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Thread: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

  1. #401
    Gold Meritorious Sponsor HelluvaHoax!'s Avatar
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    Default !

    --ooops duplicate post deleted--
    Last edited by HelluvaHoax!; 18th August 2017 at 04:06 PM.
    ________________________

    Scientology literally saved my life! Without Ron's books I would have frozen to death!!! (see avatar)

    Scientology in one word? HelluvaHoax!

    I never felt as free as when I freed myself from "Total Freedom".

    For offended Scientologists reading this blasphemy about L. Ron Hubbard---my apologies for talking about real life without lying to you, like Scientology, with goo-goo theta-talk. I know you don't have a floating needle right now. You're not supposed to.

  2. #402
    Gold Meritorious Sponsor HelluvaHoax!'s Avatar
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    Default !

    .

    Quote Originally Posted by cleared cannibal View Post
    I assumed most here had saw things like this on a daily basis. Two years ago I started saving all these things in a folder and I just looked and there are 4277 in it and I am sure I have missed some. Many are duplicates and many promoting events but KC over the last 6 months has started doing these. I thought this one particularly stupid. I will send a few as they come if everyone wants but I didn't want to clutter the board with things everyone has already seen.



    A recurring new feature on the stupid thread would be so cool, if you want to post some of your favorites! It might be good to just pick & showcase one (1) "Preternatural Promo Piece" at a time, so anyone can comment, cringe or collapse (with laughter) without going mad from a lethal stupid overdose! LOL.

    If we pick the right pace (guessing maybe like 1-3 a week?) it might be a very digestible & delicious dessert! But, post as many as you like, everyone will love it!

    Fun!!
    ________________________

    Scientology literally saved my life! Without Ron's books I would have frozen to death!!! (see avatar)

    Scientology in one word? HelluvaHoax!

    I never felt as free as when I freed myself from "Total Freedom".

    For offended Scientologists reading this blasphemy about L. Ron Hubbard---my apologies for talking about real life without lying to you, like Scientology, with goo-goo theta-talk. I know you don't have a floating needle right now. You're not supposed to.

  3. #403
    Truman Show Dropout Operating DB's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

    Quote Originally Posted by HelluvaHoax! View Post
    .

    Whoa! LOL.

    That was a very strange mixture of mismatched marketing elements!

    -- Oddly grinning Scientologists that have been nonsensically awarded flowers and an Ideal certificate.

    -- Celebrating the Orwellian status of "17X HUMANITARIAN"--a tortured attempt to statistically quantify what percentage of mankind you have saved on this planet--by how much cash you handed to Scientology management. And the people awarding the status have no humanitarian inventory to give out, because they are using the money not for "mankind" but instead to benefit themselves, their highly profitable commercial enterprises, their fraudulent schemes & to support the billionaire life style of their sociopathic gurus.

    -- Horses! (nobody knows why this is religious, ideal, humanitarian or sane)


    But the most fascinating part to me is that lower-most copywriting jingle. I have seen 100s of such Scientology promotional pieces that all have the same command to "UP YOUR STATUS!" It never fails to stun when pausing to consider that grown adults can be talked into being excited about "upping their status".

    How did that become a thing?

    For Scientology's first 6 decades or so, the only thing was to "up" your case state. To go "up" the bridge. To go "up" the tone scale. To "up" your knowingness and cause level until you were 100% certain and "total cause". That apparently didn't work out for Scientologists, either to its pitchmen or the defrauded dupes who paid millions for miraculous powers.

    So, one day (apparently) while upstanding members of the IAS were snoozing, the marketing scheme was completely revamped into selling "statuses" instead of OT states of being. Remarkably, both are claimed to be pricelessly valuable whilst being entirely invisible and unverifiable.

    Yet, Scientologists seem to love being ordered to "up" their status. They willingly get dressed up and go to these events. They allow themselves to be hard-sold and coerced into donating more money than they can ever afford.

    All for a lapel pin and a certificate. And, naturally, fondly recalled mental image pictures of horses.

    If after reading this you find yourself feeling blank as to how/why Scientologists could conceivably allow themselves to be so thoroughly bamboozled & betrayed by bullshit, it is probably a misunderstood on the term "IAS". Clear that MU and everything else makes sense!

    IAS: International Association of Somnambulists

    I mentioned earlier that scio sells delusions. The emphasis for awhile has been selling statuses with a bonus of a bouquet of flowers and a real bona fide certificate.

    It all seems to come down to selling F/Ns. The bigger the F/N the more you pay.

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  5. #404
    Silver Meritorious Patron cleared cannibal's Avatar
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    Default Re: !

    Quote Originally Posted by HelluvaHoax! View Post
    .






    A recurring new feature on the stupid thread would be so cool, if you want to post some of your favorites! It might be good to just pick & showcase one (1) "Preternatural Promo Piece" at a time, so anyone can comment, cringe or collapse (with laughter) without going mad from a lethal stupid overdose! LOL.

    If we pick the right pace (guessing maybe like 1-3 a week?) it might be a very digestible & delicious dessert! But, post as many as you like, everyone will love it!

    Fun!!
    Sounds good to me kind of like Mikes's Thursday funnies. I have sent him a couple over the last couple years and they did show up in that. Not sure it it was because I sent them or not. It would be best if I could do it the same day weekly but not I am that organized. If I could look back through and show it is the same old s--- would be good too but that make take til I have some time. In the mean time hot off the press today.

    It's better to be hated for who you are than loved for who you are not.

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  7. #405
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    Default Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

    Can you believe this? Is it real???

    Johnnie Boy, surely you ain't so poor as to need to sell your soul again in cheap advertising gigs!

    This spotted this morning on Yahoo!.com

    Business
    MIRACLE TESTOSTERONE PILL NETS BIGGEST DEAL IN SHARK TANK HISTORY.

    "This pill is amazing," says Hollywood star John Travolta. "I secretly used it to satisfy both my wife and mistress nonstop for months! And my wife would never have found out about my affair if my supplies hadn't run out."

    Written by Karen Brightwell. Published on Saturday, August 19, 2017

    Snipped . . . .

    I collided with this below while downloading this week's portfolio holdings values . . . .
    Life is supposed to be enjoyed, Mate!

    Don't show me the money . . . give me the TRUTH!
    Visit: http://knowledgism-practice-group.org

  8. #406

    Default Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

    No, RogerB, no way it's real. John Travolta has intimate male friends, not mistresses.
    "Looking back on it I think I got these gains only because the processing made me self reflect and try to repair the damage done by it. So I made gains in spite of Scientology not because of it. It's better to be hated for who you are than loved for who you are not."

    - Cleared Cannibal


  9. #407
    Gold Meritorious Sponsor HelluvaHoax!'s Avatar
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    Default Big Beings, Big Deal!

    .








    Whoa, Scientology is really expanding their "zones"! LOL

    I had to remind myself that this was not some kind of joke/parody, because:

    It wouldn't be Scientology if it didn't have gratuitous, glory-grabbing, gravitas-growing, gargantuan geography!


    On this PLANET!

    In this SECTOR!

    Across their ZONE!


    Quod Erat Demonstratum
    : Big beings take big responsibility for big spaces because they have big havingness and play big games with big stats, thereby gaining big status by making big donations! Ergo, Scientology is a big deal!
    Last edited by HelluvaHoax!; 19th August 2017 at 04:10 PM.
    ________________________

    Scientology literally saved my life! Without Ron's books I would have frozen to death!!! (see avatar)

    Scientology in one word? HelluvaHoax!

    I never felt as free as when I freed myself from "Total Freedom".

    For offended Scientologists reading this blasphemy about L. Ron Hubbard---my apologies for talking about real life without lying to you, like Scientology, with goo-goo theta-talk. I know you don't have a floating needle right now. You're not supposed to.

  10. LOL! Churchill laughed at this post
  11. #408
    Gold Meritorious Sponsor HelluvaHoax!'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

    .

    Quote Originally Posted by JustSheila View Post
    No, RogerB, no way it's real. John Travolta has intimate male friends, not mistresses.

    What you are saying makes perfect logical sense.

    But, since this is crazy-cult Scientology, I reserve the right to ponder the possibility of a preternaturally preposterous paradox:

    To wit, that John Travolta is purposely pretending & promoting that he is out ethics with mistresses in order to handle the pr-predicament and perception that he is out-ethics with gay lovers.

    Scientology Slogan: "Just keep donating! We'll let you know when your needle floats and your ethics is in!"
    ________________________

    Scientology literally saved my life! Without Ron's books I would have frozen to death!!! (see avatar)

    Scientology in one word? HelluvaHoax!

    I never felt as free as when I freed myself from "Total Freedom".

    For offended Scientologists reading this blasphemy about L. Ron Hubbard---my apologies for talking about real life without lying to you, like Scientology, with goo-goo theta-talk. I know you don't have a floating needle right now. You're not supposed to.

  12. LOL! phenomanon, JustSheila laughed at this post
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