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Thread: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

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    Default Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

    .

    The year was 1960.

    By that point Hubbard had been performing the miracle of Clearing for a decade!

    The tech had been perfected and 100% standardized!

    What a great moment in time for the mankind's savior to take a moment to have a bronze bust made of himself, so that all beings could witness his saintlike presence and gratefully worship him in every Scientology center, on this planet! Yes, the bust would be omnipresent, just like Source himself.







    For the next 26 years thereafter (1960-1986) Hubbard continued struggling with the 100% standard clearing tech, changing it hundreds of times in a failed effort to find anything that could make the first clear.

    Yet, despite this epic failure to deliver anything worthy of celebrating with a bronze bust, Ron was nevertheless able to keep his personal post stats booming with highest-evers every single year!

    LRH PERSONAL STAT: Royalty income resulting from the mandatory forced purchase of self-congratulatory graven images of himself to intimidated Grade Zeros too afraid to speak up and say: "No, Ron, I already paid a fortune---and still aren't clear! So, I sure as hell am not paying for a stupid bust of you--because you're the guy that personally sold me a copy of DMSMH ten years ago and guaranteed me that if I bought the book I could co-audit with someone for free and be clear in less than 20 hours!"
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    Scientology literally saved my life! Without Ron's books I would have frozen to death!!! (see avatar)

    Scientology in one word? HelluvaHoax!

    I never felt as free as when I freed myself from "Total Freedom".

    For offended Scientologists reading this blasphemy about L. Ron Hubbard---my apologies for talking about real life without lying to you, like Scientology, with goo-goo theta-talk. I know you don't have a floating needle right now. You're not supposed to.

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  3. #382
    Truman Show Dropout Operating DB's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

    [CENTER]

    I feel a J&D-besmirching-the-good-name-of-lrh coming on...

    Is that artist dude using cow manure in his sculpture of Ron? Looks like it.

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  5. #383
    Goldenrod SP ThetanExterior's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

    Time: Circa 1988

    Place: The reg office AOSH UK

    Form: I agreed to use my service completion awards to purchase a small bronze bust of LRH

    Event: I had to look at this bust at home every day while I was a scientologist until one day I had a burglary and it was stolen. I had to pretend that it was a huge loss but secretly I was glad to get rid of it.

    I feel lighter now. Three cheers for the burglar.

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  7. #384
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    Default Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

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    Quote Originally Posted by ThetanExterior View Post
    Time: Circa 1988

    Place: The reg office AOSH UK

    Form: I agreed to use my service completion awards to purchase a small bronze bust of LRH

    Event: I had to look at this bust at home every day while I was a scientologist until one day I had a burglary and it was stolen. I had to pretend that it was a huge loss but secretly I was glad to get rid of it.

    I feel lighter now. Three cheers for the burglar.



    The thing I really love about stories like that one is that I have no clue if its true or just wickedly wonderful satire (Poe's Law). LOL.

    Personally, I passed on purchasing a miniature bronze bust of LRH.

    Instead, I bought the limited edition, life-sized Madame Tussaud wax recreation of Ron jamming.


    Eventually, I had to have it disassembled and removed because friends and guests who visited
    me at home were totally freaking out. I had it rigged so that when anyone even walked by my
    "Ron The Musician" room, a motion sensor would trigger the PA system to loudly play an
    original audio track of Ron rocking out on the organ. And I had it custom rigged so that the
    wax Ron-replica animatronically swiveled and turned to look back at the guest, open his eyes
    and say (in that distinctive LRH baritone): "Please come into my music room, I'd like to
    play with my organ while you watch."
    For some reason, that creeped people out so
    badly they would immediately leave my house and begin writing KRs.
    ________________________

    Scientology literally saved my life! Without Ron's books I would have frozen to death!!! (see avatar)

    Scientology in one word? HelluvaHoax!

    I never felt as free as when I freed myself from "Total Freedom".

    For offended Scientologists reading this blasphemy about L. Ron Hubbard---my apologies for talking about real life without lying to you, like Scientology, with goo-goo theta-talk. I know you don't have a floating needle right now. You're not supposed to.

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    Default Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

    .




    "The value of a clay teapot is not the clay--
    it is the empty space within it."
    -Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu (6th Century BC)
    from Tao Te Ching, the Taoist book of wisdom




    wait a minute!

    if Buddha came back as Ron...

    who did Lao Tzu return as?





    "The value of a clay demo is not the clay--
    it is the empty feeling within oneself
    upon realizing they are an adult
    playing with plasticine; after
    which they blow."

    -American philosopher Don Hubbard (20th century AD)

    ________________________

    Scientology literally saved my life! Without Ron's books I would have frozen to death!!! (see avatar)

    Scientology in one word? HelluvaHoax!

    I never felt as free as when I freed myself from "Total Freedom".

    For offended Scientologists reading this blasphemy about L. Ron Hubbard---my apologies for talking about real life without lying to you, like Scientology, with goo-goo theta-talk. I know you don't have a floating needle right now. You're not supposed to.

  9. #386
    Comfortably Numb strativarius's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4



    I admit to having had piano lessons as a child. This geezer is such a fucking poser. If I had sat at the piano and adopted the posture demonstrated here, my tutor would have had a fit!
    To err is human, to purr is feline - Alexander Pope

  10. #387
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    Default Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

    .


    Quote Originally Posted by strativarius View Post


    I admit to having had piano lessons as a child. This geezer is such a fucking poser. If I had sat at the piano and adopted the posture demonstrated here, my tutor would have had a fit!


    Really?

    Even if they saw you were wearing a Clear bracelet (like Ron) and thus knew you were saving mankind (on this planet)?


    LOL
    ________________________

    Scientology literally saved my life! Without Ron's books I would have frozen to death!!! (see avatar)

    Scientology in one word? HelluvaHoax!

    I never felt as free as when I freed myself from "Total Freedom".

    For offended Scientologists reading this blasphemy about L. Ron Hubbard---my apologies for talking about real life without lying to you, like Scientology, with goo-goo theta-talk. I know you don't have a floating needle right now. You're not supposed to.

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  12. #388
    Comfortably Numb strativarius's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

    Quote Originally Posted by HelluvaHoax! View Post
    .

    Really?

    Even if they saw you were wearing a Clear bracelet (like Ron) and thus knew you were saving mankind (on this planet)?
    LOL
    People here have analysed this man's personality in great detail and found him to be a narcissist and a pathological liar among other things. I believe he had contempt for most of us, and to me this photograph clearly illustrated that. You simply can't play a keyboard instrument in the pose he adopted, but it was good enough to pull the wool over people's eyes as far as he was concerned.

    There was that image of him behind a roulette wheel doing stuff that would give any pit boss worth his salt a fit as well*. Seems to me if you know anything about the subjects he covered, you quickly realise he's just winging it and really hasn't got a clue. I'd love to know what a real film director would have made of his efforts behind the lens of a movie camera.

    * Specifically, he seems about to spin the ball with one hand while resting the other hand on the rim of the wheel. That would never happen in a thousand years in a real casino.
    Last edited by strativarius; 13th August 2017 at 06:48 PM.
    To err is human, to purr is feline - Alexander Pope

  13. #389
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    Default Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

    Quote Originally Posted by strativarius View Post
    People here have analysed this man's personality in great detail and found him to be a narcissist and a pathological liar among other things. I believe had had contempt for most of us, and to me this photograph clearly illustrated that. You simply can't play a keyboard instrument in the pose he adopted, but it was good enough to pull the wool over people's eyes as far as he was concerned.

    There was that image of him behind a roulette wheel doing stuff that would give any pit boss worth his salt a fit as well. Seems to me if you know anything about the subjects he covered, you quickly realise he's just winging it and really hasn't got a clue. I'd love to know what a real film director would have made of his efforts behind the lens of a movie camera.

    ANSWER: A real film director wouldn't make it past the one-sheet (poster) in order to even see the movie. Because it's an embarrassingly amateurish attempt.








    And just like his music ("Thank You For Listening") and his scientific book DMSMH ("greater than the invention of the wheel or discovery of fire"), it's all horribly cringey hyperbole.

    Haven't had enough? LOL. Okay, here's another one. . .







    "Don't Miss This Action-Packed Suspense Motion Picture!"

    "Don't miss this gripping motion picture adventure when it comes to your areas!"

    See the preposterous pattern? Those are "Motion Pictures"?! LOL. Hey, you elite "big beings" over there, trying doing a "big clay demo" of the term "INFOMERCIAL".

    As in all things Scientology--all hype, followed by nothing but creepy cringes.

    To be certain what professionals really think about Hubbard's filmmaking, look no further than "BATTLEFIELD EARTH" that earned multiple "Razzies" for worst movie in motion picture history!

    CONCLUSION: Asking a professional filmmaker what they think of Ron's films is like asking an optometrist what they think of Ron's guarantee to Scientology customers that: "You are only 3 or 4 hours away from taking your glasses off for keeps!" The answer in both cases is the same. Laughter.
    Last edited by HelluvaHoax!; 14th August 2017 at 05:04 PM.
    ________________________

    Scientology literally saved my life! Without Ron's books I would have frozen to death!!! (see avatar)

    Scientology in one word? HelluvaHoax!

    I never felt as free as when I freed myself from "Total Freedom".

    For offended Scientologists reading this blasphemy about L. Ron Hubbard---my apologies for talking about real life without lying to you, like Scientology, with goo-goo theta-talk. I know you don't have a floating needle right now. You're not supposed to.

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    Default Top 100 Stupid ROLLERCOASTER Moments in Scientology

    .

    Originally posted by Don Hubbard

    Cross-posted from
    another thread discussing OT Tom Cruise's attempt to sabotage Ron's dream of Clearing the planet---by publicly going PTS, crashing into a wall and injuring himself during a movie stunt.


    COS elders are currently plotting an emergency strategy how to forbid Scientologists from going on the internet and reading about this or looking at the video--without triggering it to go viral. A spokesperson for David Miscavige responded to reporters questioning how the world's most dedicated Scientologist could be low-toned and out-ethics enough to go PTS and get in an accident, by stating: "These false accusations are nothing but religious bigotry and hate speech. The truth is that Mr. Cruise is a humanitarian billionaire who doesn't have time to injure himself. In fact, Mr. Cruise's personal life is experiencing unprecedented expansion and he has just finished construction on his new Ideal House that boasts an 18,000 square foot bedroom--lined wall to wall with Italian marble--for the future when Tom finds a 2D terminal of comparable magnitude to create his record-breaking 4th successful marriage!"


    --------





    Paradoxically, while Scientologists are terrified by the prospects of going PTS (and making a mistake or having an accident/injury), they should be rejoicing and celebrating the phenomena of going PTS as a huge 4th Dynamic win!

    Because, if people didn't go PTS in the presence of suppression and make mistakes, there would never have been even one (1) person since 1950 who signed up and paid for Scientology.

    Last edited by HelluvaHoax!; 14th August 2017 at 05:15 PM.
    ________________________

    Scientology literally saved my life! Without Ron's books I would have frozen to death!!! (see avatar)

    Scientology in one word? HelluvaHoax!

    I never felt as free as when I freed myself from "Total Freedom".

    For offended Scientologists reading this blasphemy about L. Ron Hubbard---my apologies for talking about real life without lying to you, like Scientology, with goo-goo theta-talk. I know you don't have a floating needle right now. You're not supposed to.

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