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Thread: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

  1. #251
    Gold Meritorious Patron Knows's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

    Back to more Stupid from L Ron Hubbard...
    Sent to me by a good friend at my old mORGue




    So then why does The CHURCH of Scientology CHARGE a shit ton of money to its "PARISHIONER'S" for the information that was OURS in the first place....

    LOL
    Last edited by Knows; 18th June 2017 at 06:52 AM.

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  3. #252
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    Default Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

    Quote Originally Posted by Knows View Post
    Back to more Stupid from L Ron Hubbard...
    Sent to me by a good friend at my old mORGue




    So then why does Scientology CHARGE a shit ton of money people for the information that was OURS in the first place....

    LOL




    ANSWER: Scientology '...charges a shit ton of money for the information' because Dr. Hubbard states that beings who don't pay exorbitant sums for "priceless" technology become a "criminal". Poe's Law invoked here; yes, he actually said that. lol

    HELPFUL EXPLANATORY NOTES:

    -- Originally (1953) Dr. Hubbard emphatically stated that "The work was free, keep it so!" in The Factors. Ergo, at that time, it was quite laudatory and usual to audit others for free in order to quickly and easily relieve them of their eyeglasses, arthritis, leukemia or cancer.

    -- Later, his wholetrack research made a startling discovery that "An OT works best with other OTs vast sums of tax-free, laundered money!"
    ________________________

    Scientology literally saved my life! Without Ron's books I would have frozen to death!!! (see avatar)

    Scientology in one word? HelluvaHoax!

    I never felt as free as when I freed myself from "Total Freedom".

    For offended Scientologists reading this blasphemy about L. Ron Hubbard---my apologies for talking about real life without lying to you, like Scientology, with goo-goo theta-talk. I know you don't have a floating needle right now. You're not supposed to.

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  5. #253
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    Default Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

    .

    Quote Originally Posted by Knows View Post


    .
    "THE INFORMATION WAS YOURS IN THE FIRST PLACE" (Part 2):


    That is the original verbatim R-Factor that Dr. Hubbard gave to the teacher Dr. Berner (and others) whom he ruthlessly stole the "study tech" from.

    The full r-factor was: "The information was yours in the first place, but now, unless you want to DIAWOF*, it's mine!"


    LINK

    .



    * DIAWOF - Die in a Wall of Fire
    ________________________

    Scientology literally saved my life! Without Ron's books I would have frozen to death!!! (see avatar)

    Scientology in one word? HelluvaHoax!

    I never felt as free as when I freed myself from "Total Freedom".

    For offended Scientologists reading this blasphemy about L. Ron Hubbard---my apologies for talking about real life without lying to you, like Scientology, with goo-goo theta-talk. I know you don't have a floating needle right now. You're not supposed to.

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  7. #254
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    Default Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

    Quote Originally Posted by HelluvaHoax! View Post



    ANSWER: Scientology '...charges a shit ton of money for the information' because Dr. Hubbard states that beings who don't pay exorbitant sums for "priceless" technology become a "criminal". Poe's Law invoked here; yes, he actually said that. lol

    HELPFUL EXPLANATORY NOTES:
    -- Originally (1953) Dr. Hubbard emphatically stated that "The work was free, keep it so!" in The Factors. Ergo, at that time, it was quite laudatory and usual to audit others for free in order to quickly and easily relieve them of their eyeglasses, arthritis, leukemia or cancer.

    -- Later, his wholetrack research made a startling discovery that "An OT works best with other OTs vast sums of tax-free, laundered money!"
    Multiple confusing answers will be found in L Ron Hubbards

    Laws of
    Chaos, Confusion and Commotion TECH - created by "SOURCE"

    Wait....according to L Ron Hubbard....

    he was not "SOURCE"







    he was SAUCED!

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  9. #255
    Comfortably Numb strativarius's Avatar
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    Default Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

    The first time I arrived and the moment of the implant To Forget was dated at 43,891,832,611,177 years, 344 days, 10 hours, 20 minutes and 40 seconds from 10:02 PM Daylight Greenwich Time May 9, 1963. The second series was dated to the moment of the implant To Forget as 42,681,459,477,315 years, 132 days, 18 hours, 20 minutes and 15 seconds from 11:02 PM Daylight Greenwich Time May 9, 1963.


    There are no earlier such implants. There are no later such implants.

    Yes, and there is no such thing as Daylight Greenwich Time either!
    To err is human, to purr is feline - Alexander Pope

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  11. #256
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    Default Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

    Quote Originally Posted by strativarius View Post
    Yes, and there is no such thing as Daylight Greenwich Time either!
    No defense of Hubbard intended, but according to this wikipedia disambiguation page, it's a rare synonym for British Summer Time.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GDT

    I'm guessing he used it 'cause it sounds more impressive and he was trying to baffle us with bullshit.
    I had a dream I was awake and awoke to find I was asleep. -- Stan Laurel

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  13. #257
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    Default Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

    Quote Originally Posted by pineapple View Post
    No defense of Hubbard intended, but according to this wikipedia disambiguation page, it's a rare synonym for British Summer Time.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GDT

    I'm guessing he used it 'cause it sounds more impressive and he was trying to baffle us with bullshit.
    In a way this serves to demonstrate his hubris and utter contempt for his readers. There certainly is something called Daylight Saving Time (or BST - British Summer Time) of which he may have been vaguely aware.
    To err is human, to purr is feline - Alexander Pope

  14. #258
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    Default Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

    ...

    In a never-ending quest to memorialize all of the cult's BIG LIES to its parishioners, we are quite proud to re-print an illuminating transcript from the ideal church's ideal fund-raiser and "BUILDING EXPANSION DIRECTOR INTERNATIONAL". Impressive post title, right? She must really know-how-to-know how fast the fastest growing religion is expanding, on this planet!

    The full article is fascinating--originally posted on the always entertaining and enlightening UNDERGROUND BUNKER. LINK HERE!

    Well worth taking a look at if one of your hobbies is the study of:


    Amoral religious liars making up the biggest BIG LIES they
    can possibly get away with--in order to defraud
    others out of their hard-earned money.


    As noted in the BUNKER:

    And of course, the people in the room were told that Scientology is expanding faster now than it ever has, a claim the audience seemed to accept uncritically....

    Then Tony Ortega magically produces a verbatim TRANSCRIPT of the fund raising pitch session. A decidedly rare treat to actually peer inside of Hubbard's Hoaxilicious Headquarters!

    - Elipses (...) indicates a deleted portion
    - The especially cringey lies are highlighted in bold
    - Gratuitous editorial comments appear in teal footnotes.


    ...

    And this is where the excitement truly begins, as evidenced by every org that has gone ideal: It is a monumental level of expansion from day one.


    The difference between an ideal org and a non-ideal org is night and day.1 While I know the Valley Ideal Org has been many years in the making. The truth is, you are becoming an ideal org at exactly the right time. For since the release of Golden Age of Tech Phase II, Scientology has expanded by 47 times2.

    1 The difference being that the non-ideal org is not ideal--and the Ideal Org is a not-ideal org that has brilliantly renamed itself an "Ideal Org" so parishioners won't notice that it's a ghost town.

    2 Yes, that's 47 times! Ergo, if worldwide orgs aggregately produced only 10,000 clears 2 years ago (an annual average of just 1 Clear per center, based on the church's claim that there are "..more than 10,000 Scientology Churches and Missions worldwide), then last year they would have produced 470,000 new clears! That paranormal feat is even more miraculous when considering that Scientology only claims less than 20,000 clears worldwide!

    [Crowd: Whoa, Wow, applause]

    Now, that expansion is primarily from our Ideal Orgs and our Advanced Orgs. Ideal Orgs were actually built for the release of Golden Age of Tech Phase II. When Chairman of the Board RTC launched the strategy, he said that ideal orgs were being built for something greater to come. And that has now arrived. And this is even before we have released our international dissemination campaigns3.

    3 This makes sense. Waiting 5-10 years to promote (until there is a fancier building) is logical because wogs just won't accept health, happiness, success, prosperity, paranormal powers, miracles and immortality unless the auditing room has a marble floor.

    Already the reach from raw public for Scientology has escalated to a whole new level. In January we introduced the online world to our new Scientology cathedral and an awe-inspiring view of the new Mark Ultra VIII e-meter. This resulted in people clicking on our website at a rate of two people every second4.

    4 Surprisingly, two clicks every second is actually a true statistic. However, the 1st of those clicks is from a Scientology critic looking for laughs and the 2nd click is from a Scientology executive counting up the click-stats.

    [Crowd: Wow]

    From there it was only a few mouse clicks away from finding their nearest Ideal Org and walking into the doors. And they did so, en masse.5

    5 Fact. They did not do so. And, about that term "en masse"---moar clay!

    Since the release of an introductory service xxxx we’ve had 73 times the number of Book One audit hours delivered. And we’ve had 20 times the number of life improvement course completions. And a new personal efficiency course completion every five minutes. All told the number of new people taking their first step on the Bridge has increased by a record 70 times.6

    6 This is due to the brilliant strategy of relocating Ideal Orgs in highly trafficked downtown business and retail districts. Previously orgs only had an average of one (1) new person taking their first Bridge step each week. Now the number has skyrocketed to 70 per week! The breakdown of this mind-blowing success is as follows: Of the 70 people "taking their first step", 1 is a local Scientologist re-doing the same course for the second or third time. The other 69 people stepping into the org each week are 10 tourists (asking if they can get change for parking meters), and the 59 homeless people (asking to use the bathroom because they mistakenly believe that there will be toilet paper like the free outdoor toilets in skid row).

    [Crowd: Applause]
    ...

    Last edited by HelluvaHoax!; 24th June 2017 at 05:24 AM.
    ________________________

    Scientology literally saved my life! Without Ron's books I would have frozen to death!!! (see avatar)

    Scientology in one word? HelluvaHoax!

    I never felt as free as when I freed myself from "Total Freedom".

    For offended Scientologists reading this blasphemy about L. Ron Hubbard---my apologies for talking about real life without lying to you, like Scientology, with goo-goo theta-talk. I know you don't have a floating needle right now. You're not supposed to.

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  16. #259
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    Default Top 100 Stupid PHILOSOPHICAL Moments in Scientology

    .
    Cross-posted from another thread discussing Hubbard's phantom upper-upper OT levels (e.g. OT X, XI, XII, et al) that are so cosmically mystical, that they evade the inadequate perceptics of mere humans. This explains why no humans (besides LRH himself) has ever seen those levels!

    Notwithstanding the fact that nobody has ever personally witnessed the levels' existence, certain very specific data from those miraculous levels (e.g. like the price) has been purposefully leaked to advanced spiritual guides within Scientology called "registrars"--enabling parishioners to "flow power" to their own advanced payment accounts.

    -----


    Quote Originally Posted by ILove2Lurk View Post
    . . .
    A bit more on the topic of who knew what and when and who hid what and when:

    Question I asked Mike Rinder in 2013:

    What’s the back story? Why did management cover up LRH’s apparent failure
    to deliver on many of his more hyperbolic OT promises . . . and from what I
    can tell even achieve them himself? Why lie to all of us from 1986 on? Seems
    like there was an enormous conspiracy of silence and a forwarding of a patently
    untrue LRH mythology. The lies told were an unthinkable betrayal.

    Mike Rinder says:
    April 21, 2013 at 9:55 pm


    Marty’s books and blog have covered this pretty extensively. There was a hidden data line inside the church too. I was not aware that these materials didn't exist until after I left.
    Miscavige wanted them so he would have a carrot to hold out. But he also could NOT afford to say: “Sorry folks, I know LRH said OT IX and X were ready and there was a Grade Chart with OT X1 to XV on it, but they don’t exist” as it would have caused a revolt.

    In order to maintain his position he has had to pretend to be fully in alignment with LRH and the ONE carrying out his wishes and intention. It has been a slow process to convince the masses that he is the new Messiah. And now it is valuable to him to appear to have something that people want but cannot have “yet” …
    Bolding in passages above is mine.

    Yet in 2016, Mike recounts a different story. It's pretty interesting if you haven't heard it.

    Marty and Mike were both at the Newberry Ranch for the raid and search for upper OT levels.
    Yingling was there too. They knew early on there was nothing, in fact.

    Click on the banner at the beginning of the video to go to 43:35.



    Hate to beat a dead horse, but some people might not have heard this stuff and it's germane
    to both Marty and Mike's sagas. Especially shocking in light of Marty's current flip-flop.
    In fairness to all men, many memories and views have changed over the years looks like.




    That was rather illuminating. Ahhh, blessed clarity!


    With regard to all such matters about Hubbard's OT levels, I have found that a philosophical approach is often quite helpful:



    "You know, you gotta stop them at the beginning.
    Like they should have stopped Hitler at Munich,
    they should never let him get away with that,
    they was just asking for trouble."

    Peter Clemenza - Italian/American Philosopher (1946)
    1






    "You know, you gotta stop them at the beginning.
    Like they should have stopped Hubbard at OT 1,
    they should never let him get away with that,
    they was just asking for trouble."
    2
    Don Hubbard - Philosopher at large (1986) 3















    1 photo archive LINK


    2 Quotation was Don Hubbard's fully startled response upon learning that his twin brother Ron stole hundreds of millions of dollars from hopeful (yet hopelessly duped) Scientologists---in order to buy "advanced level" processes like OT 1, that contained miracle-producing auditing commands such as: "Walk around and count bodies until you have a cognition. Make a report saying how many you counted..." LINK


    3 Don is the estranged & Declared twin brother of L. Ron Hubbard (see Avatar).
    Last edited by HelluvaHoax!; 26th June 2017 at 04:11 AM.
    ________________________

    Scientology literally saved my life! Without Ron's books I would have frozen to death!!! (see avatar)

    Scientology in one word? HelluvaHoax!

    I never felt as free as when I freed myself from "Total Freedom".

    For offended Scientologists reading this blasphemy about L. Ron Hubbard---my apologies for talking about real life without lying to you, like Scientology, with goo-goo theta-talk. I know you don't have a floating needle right now. You're not supposed to.

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  18. #260
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    Default Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

    ...

    !!! EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT !!!

    NEW
    SCIENTOLOGY
    BOOK



    by DON HUBBARD



    Originally Posted by Don Hubbard

    I have long considered writing a book of my own. This postulate began decades ago when I first became aware that my twin brother (Lafayette) was making hundreds of millions of dollars by just making shit up.

    Thus, at long last, I decided that it was time for someone to finally write a Scientology book that was non-fiction. It is fashioned on the book "WHAT IS SCIENTOLOGY?", a book in which Lafayette failed to give even one truthful answer to the question.

    We are working on the price for the book, but have already decided that nobody will be allowed to buy single copies. This is because (like e-meters) you really need two (2) books, in case while you are right in the middle of a chapter and something happens to your book, you'll still have the stand-by copy--allowing you to keep reading and cogniting!

    Here's the new cover and some exciting excerpts, below!

    ML,

    Don Hubbard



    .





    CHAPTER 3:

    "Like Ron promised, 'Total Freedom' was beyond my wildest dreams! I never could have imagined going to federal prison, being kicked out and disconnected by Ron and having 99.9% of my inheritance stolen after he died! And, all that wasn't even the biggest surprise...imagine how amazed I was when Ron's touch assist cure for cancer didn't work and I died!" -Mary Sue Hubbard

    CHAPTER 5:

    "Unbelievable things happened within just 16 months of being declared the "World's First Clear!" That's when Ron declared me SP and I soon thereafter became an alcoholic and then, well, I died. I guess that one can confidently state that Total Freedom is, um, totally life-changing!" - John McMasters


    CHAPTER 11:

    "As the very first being on the planet to attain and attest to Total Freedom, I have nothing but pure gratitude for the miraculous tech! Just because my MEST body got morbidly ill and died--after I had already gone completely insane (see my HCOB "Type III and Psychosis")---and all that happened while I was terrified and running away from authorities in a motorhome---it doesn't mean that Total Freedom is not a completely & ultimately blissful state. Just trust me, the tech worked on me and it can work on you!" - L. Ron Hubbard



    .


    ________________________

    Scientology literally saved my life! Without Ron's books I would have frozen to death!!! (see avatar)

    Scientology in one word? HelluvaHoax!

    I never felt as free as when I freed myself from "Total Freedom".

    For offended Scientologists reading this blasphemy about L. Ron Hubbard---my apologies for talking about real life without lying to you, like Scientology, with goo-goo theta-talk. I know you don't have a floating needle right now. You're not supposed to.

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