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Thread: Our Children...

  1. #1
    Crusader Wisened One's Avatar
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    Default Our Children...

    I wanted to start a thread on what effects (if any) did being on Staff/SO have on your children (no matter their ages when you went in and got out?).

    I didn't see my children for a few years when I was in scn and joined staff. (gave them to their father...long story, to do with something before I ever got into scn)......

    I saw them when I got out and luckily they were still quite young and we've been in each others' lives ever happily, since

    They did do a few courses, but never took interest, thank god.

    Years later, SO recruiters got a hold of my then-12-yr old daughter and wouldn't let any of us out of the room till she signed (she wanted to,they made it sound sooo 'cool' you know) and WE sign her over to them....we signed ours for 'next lifetime' and all of us read the stupid crap they make you read, some pledge or some such thing.... then for months after, they kept telling her to not wait till 18 (like she wanted to) but to join at 14..WE never had any intention of letting them have her at ANY age, but just signed the damn things to get out of the room!

    But still, they grew up in a strict christian religion themselves, so they could identify what kind of a group scn was and they were happy when we left it.

    I'll never forget the night we told them we are officially 'out'.

    We had a wonderful bonfire that night, and quietly explained to them the reasons we left. Suddenly the flames got low, but *gasp* Looky HERE, we've got these three BIG pieces of paper that those nice SO recruits gave us, we could use;)

    They understood, agreed and felt very relieved that we'd have more time for them and be free, etc. Then they helped feed the fire to keep it burning brightly, you know....

    Anyway: I know my story is kindergarten next to many of yours regarding your children...please share them here!

    This will help many parents and children, I hope.

    Wisened One
    Last edited by Wisened One; 26th February 2008 at 01:38 AM.
    The night I escaped Staff:
    http://www.forum.exscn.net/showpost....2&postcount=33

    I get really tired of hearing about how the lower bridge has value. The lower bridge has the sole purpose of getting the PC to reach for more bridge. The fact that many people improved their circumstances as a result of a good intentioned auditor being interested and caring about his PC is not worth the long term and intended result of Scientology technology. GT

  2. #2
    Crusader Bea Kiddo's Avatar
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    Sorry. This is by no means an attempt to divert your thread. It is on topic. Please, despite what I write, others tell your stories as well about children in the Sea Org.

    As for me, and my children: they are both dead. Enforced abortion. I was married at the time. There was no real reason to abort. I did it for the Sea Org. So I could stay.

    I would have a 14 year old and a 6 year old now.

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  4. #3
    Crusader Wisened One's Avatar
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    Default Hugs to you, Bea....

    it belongs here.

    And ALL of you who endured abortions due to scn, no matter if you were in the Sea Org and felt 'persuaded' to get one, or were Staff or even Public and felt one was 'for the greatest good', etc...post, please!

    I want all these types and more on this one thread for ease in viewing with regards to the effects CoS had and still has on children.

    Also belonging here: if the poster is/was a child of SO/Staff parents and wants to post here their opinions, etc.

    Wisened One
    The night I escaped Staff:
    http://www.forum.exscn.net/showpost....2&postcount=33

    I get really tired of hearing about how the lower bridge has value. The lower bridge has the sole purpose of getting the PC to reach for more bridge. The fact that many people improved their circumstances as a result of a good intentioned auditor being interested and caring about his PC is not worth the long term and intended result of Scientology technology. GT

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    Patron Meritorious duddins's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bea Kiddo View Post
    Sorry. This is by no means an attempt to divert your thread. It is on topic. Please, despite what I write, others tell your stories as well about children in the Sea Org.

    As for me, and my children: they are both dead. Enforced abortion. I was married at the time. There was no real reason to abort. I did it for the Sea Org. So I could stay.

    I would have a 14 year old and a 6 year old now.
    I'm so sorry Bea. I cannot imagine how it would feel to be in your shoes. You were wronged. Those babies were wronged. I only hope you can forgive yourself and understand how much power the organization had over us.

    This is a perfect example of squirreling of the tech by the organization itself.
    Remember Dianetics? One thing that originally impressed me about that book when I first read it back in 1974, was the information about babies in the womb......

    To inflict this upon members of the SO is at the farthest end of evil.
    I can't wait until

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  8. #5
    Patron Meritorious Fancy's Avatar
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    This makes me want to cry.

    Barb

    Quote Originally Posted by Bea Kiddo View Post
    Sorry. This is by no means an attempt to divert your thread. It is on topic. Please, despite what I write, others tell your stories as well about children in the Sea Org.

    As for me, and my children: they are both dead. Enforced abortion. I was married at the time. There was no real reason to abort. I did it for the Sea Org. So I could stay.

    I would have a 14 year old and a 6 year old now.

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  10. #6
    Gold Meritorious Patron Kathy (ImOut)'s Avatar
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    The first short period of time I was on staff my daughter lived with her father due to our custody arrangement. So she wasn't really affected that time. The second time, she would just go with me - she had her own "jobs" to do.

    The part that was difficult was that she joined the SO at the age of 15. I so did not want her to join - I wasn't done being a mommy yet. Plus, she was a 5 hour drive away from me. So I moved so that I could at least see her during her time off - which didn't come every week as promised.

    She only lasted 5 months in the SO, but the problem after she left was that she'd been treated as a full-grown adult and she wasn't. So coming back home to rules and curfews were not easy to enforce. And since she had not left the SO on "good terms", I was constantly threatened that she would be declared, so during the period that she wasn't minding me, I couldn't send her to ethics or really even talk about it to any terminals at the CofS. In addition to her be threatened with a declare, I was threatened I would then have to either kick her out of the house or not do services myself until she was 18 and out of my life - I would have to disconnect from my own child.

    When I finally told her I was leaving/had left the CofS she at first was sort of pissed - "you put me through this everything is Scn and now you're not going to be doing it yourself?" OK, I made some mistakes as a mommy, I'm sorry I thought it was the right thing to do. Within about 5 - 15 minutes she got over it. She agreed with everything I was telling her about why I was leaving. And she pretty much felt the same way.

    After I got declared she got hounded by the Org to disconnect from me - she works for a Scn run company and all of her friends where "in". So, she lied and said she disconnected. She lies to the company she works for when she comes to visit me. She doesn't keep my address in her cell phone or in her house, in case one of her churchy friends gets nosy and finds it. She still has a few churchy friends and still works for a Scn run company, but she's slowly getting away from all of that.

    It's taken me almost a year to convince her to leave her job - she's only ever worked for Scn run companies and she thinks any other job will still "suck". I've finally convinced that working for a living pretty much "sucks", but you have to have money and that working for anyone other that a Scn will be better. Thankfully I have friends that also only worked for Scn's and could tell her their experiences after they got jobs with non-Scn's - you don't get in trouble for being sick and you actually get paid for your sick days. You get paid vacations. You get health benefits. They'll love you since your work ethic is so much higher than the general population. She finally interviewed with an employment agency and they told her straight up - you should be making so much more money than you are. Hopefully soon she'll have a job in the "real world" and will be making enough money to fully support herself. She is supporting herself, but there is no room for a sick day or an unpaid vacation. Plus she won't have the constant - are you on service?, are you writing up your condition formulas on that situation?, blah, blah, blah.

    I think she also figured out she needed to leave, since she was sick on and off for about a month - at her job she doesn't get the same treatment as the rest of the employees whether they are churchies or not.
    Nothing lasts forever, so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off, avoid the bullshit, take chances, & never have regrets, because at one point, everything you did was exactly what you wanted.
    "There is no freedom like seeing myself as I am and not losing heart."~Elizabeth J. Canham from Dark Phoenix

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  12. #7
    Shiny Free Crusader Free to shine's Avatar
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    I would like to apologise to my four children.

    To my eldest for my not being strong enough to be your real "Mum" and for being pressured into staying on staff instead.

    To you all I apologise for all the times I did not really hear you. For the times I translated your words into the language of Scientology instead of really hearing what you said.

    For the times I did not see you, seeing instead "big thetans in little bodies" instead of the child you were, who needed unconditional love.

    For the times I was not there when you needed me as I tried to save the world elsewhere.

    For not keeping you safe from the influences that led to conflicting views on drugs, authority and approval, (you will know what I mean.)

    For subjecting (some of) you to the chaos of the Scientology school as it was established and those gut wrenching times.

    You are all terrific and no matter any differences of opinion we may have, I love you.
    Last edited by Free to shine; 25th February 2008 at 10:17 PM.
    My Story - Becoming Free to Shine
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    Crusader Bea Kiddo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Free to shine View Post
    I would like to apologise to my four children.

    To the eldest for my not being strong enough to be your "Mum".

    To you all I apologise for all the times I did not really hear you. For the times I translated your words into the language of Scientology instead of really hearing what you said.

    For the times I did not see you, seeing instead "big thetans in little bodies" instead of the child you were, who needed unconditional love.

    For the times I was not there when you needed me as I tried to save the world elsewhere.

    For not keeping you safe from the influences that led to conflicting views on drugs, authority and approval, (you will know what I mean.)

    For subjecting (some of) you to the chaos of the Scientology school as it was established and those gut wrenching times.

    You are all terrific and no matter any differences of opinion we may have, I love you.

    This is beautiful....

    You can be my mommy too....

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  15. #9
    Shiny Free Crusader Free to shine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bea Kiddo View Post
    This is beautiful....

    You can be my mommy too....
    No worries....
    You know, I am probably old enough too!
    My Story - Becoming Free to Shine
    QUOTE OF THE YEAR: "I wasn't aware that a documentary (on scientology) was coming out but I'll be sure to not watch it." A Scientologist

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  17. #10
    Patron with Honors ChaoticPsychotic's Avatar
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    Default Dear Mom & Dad,

    Dear Mom & Dad,

    You know that I love you. You know for all your flaws and mistakes in raising me, I forgive you. No one is perfect and now that I am myself a mother I know how difficult it is to make the right choices in parenting.

    Although... there is one thing that I cannot forgive you for mom and dad. I cannot forgive you for knowing all of the abuses that I suffered at the hands of the church and choosing to side with them instead of me.

    I am your daughter. I am your first born. How could you choose some group of people who have never really done anything for you, over me? It hurts. I am almost 30 but I still cry myself to sleep at night sometimes when I think of all of the hurt I have had in my life because of your involvement in the church. I told you about the molestations, the starvation and sleep deprivation. Never mind the 18 hour workdays I endured for my teenage years. I told you about the verbal and emotional abuse. I told you about my friends who were forced to get abortions. I told you everything. Your response was to sic your DSA on me to "handle" me. Shame on you. I hope for the sake of my darling brothers that you some day snap out of it and realize what you have done with your lives for the past 29 years. I hope that you catch yourselves before the boys get recruited. I hope it happens before it's not too late to save your other children from such horrors that I endured.

    And that, my dear parents, is all I have to say about that.

    I love you. It is never too late to redeem yourselves.

    Love, Your Daughter
    "The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently" - Nietzsche

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