Page 8 of 9 FirstFirst 123456789 LastLast
Results 71 to 80 of 81

Thread: Our Children...

  1. #71
    Declared SP Adam7986's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Los Angeles, CA
    Posts
    1,455

    Default Re: Our Children...

    Quote Originally Posted by Bea Kiddo View Post
    This is beautiful....

    You can be my mommy too....
    I agree. You can be my mom too

  2. Likes SweetnessandLight liked this post
  3. #72
    Declared SP Adam7986's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Los Angeles, CA
    Posts
    1,455

    Default Re: Dear Mom & Dad,

    Quote Originally Posted by ChaoticPsychotic View Post
    Dear Mom & Dad,

    You know that I love you. You know for all your flaws and mistakes in raising me, I forgive you. No one is perfect and now that I am myself a mother I know how difficult it is to make the right choices in parenting.

    Although... there is one thing that I cannot forgive you for mom and dad. I cannot forgive you for knowing all of the abuses that I suffered at the hands of the church and choosing to side with them instead of me.

    I am your daughter. I am your first born. How could you choose some group of people who have never really done anything for you, over me? It hurts. I am almost 30 but I still cry myself to sleep at night sometimes when I think of all of the hurt I have had in my life because of your involvement in the church. I told you about the molestations, the starvation and sleep deprivation. Never mind the 18 hour workdays I endured for my teenage years. I told you about the verbal and emotional abuse. I told you about my friends who were forced to get abortions. I told you everything. Your response was to sic your DSA on me to "handle" me. Shame on you. I hope for the sake of my darling brothers that you some day snap out of it and realize what you have done with your lives for the past 29 years. I hope that you catch yourselves before the boys get recruited. I hope it happens before it's not too late to save your other children from such horrors that I endured.

    And that, my dear parents, is all I have to say about that.

    I love you. It is never too late to redeem yourselves.

    Love, Your Daughter
    This is going to make me cry.

  4. Likes AnonyMary liked this post
  5. #73
    Declared SP Adam7986's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Los Angeles, CA
    Posts
    1,455

    Default Re: Our Children...

    I harbor a lot of negative feelings towards my parents for what I went through. One of them may be hate.

    However, I know that there is a lot of room for forgiveness in me and one day I will find it, regardless of whether or not I reconnect with them.

    I have been better off without them and without the church.

    When I left the Sea Org in 2004 at age 18 I realized that my family was over because of the way my father treated me for being removed from staff. I have found a family in my friends and they have treated me better than my family ever did. They accept me for who I am and love me unconditionally and the feeling is mutual.

    I think about my parents, my brother and my sister every single day. Sometimes I wish I could forget them, and forget they existed, but every morning when I wake up the first thing I see before I open my eyes is their faces.

    I miss my aunt, who passed away in 2010 and who's death is the main reason I chose to look on the internet and eventually post on ESMB. It hurts so much that I will never be able to see her again and never be able to tell her I am sorry for listening to my dad and disconnecting. I have this weird illogical hope that one day she will call me or something, even though I know she has long ago passed on.

    I don't hold onto hope that I will see my family again. I have just decided to move on. If I do ever see them again it will likely be on bad terms.

    The conflicting emotions I feel towards my parents are the hardest to deal with. For my sister and brother I mostly feel pity and I am sad that I cannot help them.

    I just wish I had said good-bye when I left. Instead I just kept my mouth shut for fear that I would spew nothing but hate.

    I strive so hard to not be like my father that every time I hear his voice coming out of my mouth or his laugh and every mannerism I make that he did makes me cringe. He is the most hateful, spiteful, angry and emotionally abusive person I have ever known. But what should you expect, he is my father and he can and has hurt me in ways that no other person ever could.

    The worst feeling I get is when I see or hear someone else say or do something that reminds me of him. It makes me so angry and so sad at the same time that it almost immobilizes me.

    The other day I was at Universal and it made me think of this picture. My heart dropped.

    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	282351_2026432378070_2111198_n.jpg 
Views:	25 
Size:	56.6 KB 
ID:	5207

  6. #74
    Crusader Ogsonofgroo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Pacific NW, southern BC, in de trees
    Posts
    5,719

    Default Re: Our Children...

    Thanks to those that have bumped this thread, heart-rending as much of it is, it is important and poigniant.
    When I first got into crtical mode regarding the cult and was doing a tonne of reading, many many stories of ex-kids, ex adults, the used and abused etc., (this thread included), man.... I'd have tears running down my face in anger, frustration, sadness. It was harsh, but it all opened my eyes wider (and my heart too for that matter), and I think has made me a better, more compassionate person over-all, but most of all it confirms what the target is and, that it is very valid.
    Thank you all good peoples!





    Just thought I'd say...
    'Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones. I am not afraid.'
    Marcus Aurelius

    THE BIG LIST of EX'S who have Spoken Out fx'd

  7. Likes AnonyMary liked this post
  8. #75
    Declared SP Adam7986's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Los Angeles, CA
    Posts
    1,455

    Default Re: Our Children...



    I think this thread should be reignited.

  9. #76
    Crusader Ogsonofgroo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Pacific NW, southern BC, in de trees
    Posts
    5,719

    Default Re: Our Children...

    Quote Originally Posted by Adam7986 View Post


    I think this thread should be reignited.
    Ignite away young sir!

    It is an important thing, the stories, the ensuing anger, the grasping of how really, really fucked up folks, especially the innocent, get when manipulated into cult-think. Then there is the 'acceptable abuse' factor, which infuriates me, and on up to just plain abuse (sexual or other-wise) which makes me see red.

    Despite claims of Hubbard's jeenyuz, he was a preditor, a con artist, an abusive sociopathic liar. Get over it. The shit he created from his fried brain-pan sets up a system of lies and horrid neglect, abuses and paranoia.

    FUCK LRON! (so glad yer a dead motherfucker)
    FUCK MISCAVIGE! (demented wee beast of little brain)
    AND A BIG FUCK YOU OSA! (ya slimey shills)


    Thanks, better nao


    'Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones. I am not afraid.'
    Marcus Aurelius

    THE BIG LIST of EX'S who have Spoken Out fx'd

  10. #77
    Crusader Bea Kiddo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Dallas
    Posts
    5,473

    Default Re: Our Children...


  11. Likes Ogsonofgroo, johnAnchovie, pebbles liked this post
  12. #78
    Patron with Honors Polly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    284

    Default Re: Our Children...


  13. Thanks Ogsonofgroo, JBWriter says "thank you" for this post
  14. #79
    Patron with Honors Crashed Alien's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    England
    Posts
    419

    Default Re: Our Children...

    Quote Originally Posted by Adam7986 View Post


    I think this thread should be reignited.
    Adam,

    It is with trepidation that I agree.

    I love my parents, as any child should.

    But there is quite a lot to be said...

    Crash

  15. #80
    Patron with Honors
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    300

    Default Re: Our Children...

    Quote Originally Posted by Free to shine View Post
    I would like to apologise to my four children.

    To my eldest for my not being strong enough to be your real "Mum" and for being pressured into staying on staff instead.

    To you all I apologise for all the times I did not really hear you. For the times I translated your words into the language of Scientology instead of really hearing what you said.

    For the times I did not see you, seeing instead "big thetans in little bodies" instead of the child you were, who needed unconditional love.

    For the times I was not there when you needed me as I tried to save the world elsewhere.

    For not keeping you safe from the influences that led to conflicting views on drugs, authority and approval, (you will know what I mean.)

    For subjecting (some of) you to the chaos of the Scientology school as it was established and those gut wrenching times.

    You are all terrific and no matter any differences of opinion we may have, I love you.
    Thank you for this, and thank you for you, and thank you for your loving support to me. xxx

Page 8 of 9 FirstFirst 123456789 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •