My Story: John H. Boucher

[WrongPlaceRightTime]

Hi-
So I sent away for a copy of my father suicide note and it came back with four pages instead of the one page I remember...how peculiar...
Well, I decided to post a separate thread with this note because it is his account of his story.

Here is the link to the flickr page containing the documents and some photos of my parents. http://www.flickr.com/photos/26490642@N06/
I will add more soon. I don't know what is up with the black dots on my parents' eyes in the shot of them together. I will also transcribe the note in a separate post as his handwriting can be difficult to read.

Here is a link to my account: http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?t=5622

And a link to my mother's account originally posted OCMB back in 2005:
http://ocmb.xenu.net/ocmb/viewtopic....+comrade&t=568
(Note: my mother scrambled names and dates for the sake of anonymity but the basic MEAT of the story is accurate)

As far as my thread May 5, 2001, I will post the follow up chapters as promised when I feel inspired- It is difficult to sum up those 7 years especially because I was discovering the meaning of life and the true nature of reality. So hang in there, I promise it will be as synchronistic as the first several installments and with much less heartache.


Best Wishes for you all,

[WrongPlaceRightTime]

5501

Dear family and all people who tried to help.

I have tried to reckon with it but it all boils down to one thing. I am one of those people that bring death to things, trees, homes, the people who love me who I have pledged to support but have let down far beyond anything conceivable. Cathy I am one of those "rotten people" that LRH talks about in the PTS course. I fit every description of an SP except for the part about "if you think you are one, you can't be one". Not true. The old man himself describes these people as "knowing they are worthless".

All that I have done is make you miserable, the kids, my family, your family. What happened at AOLA was that I really saw for the 1st time that this Suppressive Person really was me.

All this time I have denied it yet under extreme pressure (of my own creation) I allowed myself to completely break every code that I have said that I live by. All of those "codes" were make wrongs.
I see no way to support the disaster I have set into motion. I am sorry. Bad things happen around me. People make mistakes. They disperse. I mess up everything. It is planned that way. Cathy you have the tech but you never really got it. Why do you think I fought it so hard? At the time I really wasn't sure why I fought it. I just had to. When I collapsed it was because I realised that I was this thing that I had been saying was other people. I will never be free. You will eventually. You are a good being.

You said that I never used the tech. You were right.

I have fought it.

I am truly sorry.

(some kind of notation I do not understand)

John.

[grundy]

[ozzie]

The notation looks like LRHs initials - the way he used to sign them. Maybe Im wrong but that is what it looks like to me - having seen them many times.

Ozzie

[Good twin]

Oh my gosh WPRT. I can't stop crying. Thank you for all of the details. It is not easy to face, but anything less is not the full truth. You are a brave, brave soul and I am proud to have been allowed to hear your story. Please give YOUR mom big long hard hugs for Mother's day. God bless you both.
GT

[SchwimmelPuckel]

Scientology certainly convinced him he was an SP. I'm so very sure because they convinced me that I was one too! My story on OCMB - And I've read many stories on the internet since that tells me this is common!

That's the basic deal Hubbard set up for us all.. You get these 'gains' from Scientology or you are an SP! - And he said that literally.. Hubbard said that NCG's, ie. No Case Gain 'people' was SP's. It's in some PAB (Professional Auditors Bulletin).

I am angry!
...

[Spork]

No committed Scientologist could have helped the author of that heart-rending final note. That would have meant "invalidating" John's "cognition" that he was an SP.

This is a horrific example of what can happen when Scientology's stupid theories are taken seriously and acted upon. The wrong conclusion to draw is that those theories were "acted upon incorrectly". The right conclusions here are that there are no SPs, the note was no "cognition" to that effect and it would have been fine to "invalidate" it -- in a compassionate way no Scientologist would dare -- to save a life.

[Div6]

Wow.


Thanks WPRT. Just a couple of comments:

What you transcribed as "nutter" ("nutter people") I see as "rotten".

"What happened at" Sams? Noon? I'm still puzzling over that one, but I don't think it is "aunt". I think it is "AOLA".


Your Dad was no SP (as I have said before.) He got "case gain". He worked his ass off. He ultimately found his position untenable, and made a choice. Not the best choice imo. But it may be that with massive "help" from Scn he convinced himself he was SP. In my talks with a Class XII, he told me that the most common cause of OT VII's "having psychotic breaks" was being told they were ineligible for OT VIII. He had audited a number of them on the "Introspection Rundown" after some teenage "Ethics Officer" gave them that R Factor.....so if OT VII's can flip out on wrong indications, so can anyone...



But as you know I am proud of you confronting this and bringing it out into the open. You are a brave being...and we love you!

[Tanstaafl]

Scientology certainly convinced him he was an SP. I'm so very sure because they convinced me that I was one too! My story on OCMB - And I've read many stories on the internet since that tells me this is common!

That's the basic deal Hubbard set up for us all.. You get these 'gains' from Scientology or you are an SP! - And he said that literally.. Hubbard said that NCG's, ie. No Case Gain 'people' was SP's. It's in some PAB (Professional Auditors Bulletin).

I am angry!
...

I agree SP.
However, to nitpick, I would point out there is a bulletin from 63 (I'll find the exact ref if you want) that gives 6 reasons for NCG, two of which are SP and PTS.

Your NCG friend,

Tanstaafl

[Div6]

Yes, but around this time Management had a PL re-issued (I forget the name..."Ethics and Tech" perhaps) that stated that the only reason a process didn't work was "pc was sp or pts".