I have been out now for over twenty years. After fifteen years (approx) I finally felt the energy of the Hunt For Me wane...I have my own spiritual system and it works very well for me, thank you.
Life Goes On...
Until One Day.....
.....I was perusing You Tube earlier this year, when I caught sight of one of the icons of Anonymous. Intrigued, I began to look more and more at this, initially feeling that these kids had no idea what they were in for. But these 'kids' are relentless. Many are tech savvy beyond most. The more I watched this growing phenomenon, the more I realized that Scientology has no clue about them.
It is the most brilliant form of peaceful attack I have ever seen. It is classic in its approach and in its execution. Nowhere (as far as I know) in any of the works of LRH is a workable defense against this kind of education.
So, anyway, I watched the YouTube. I learned. I waited. I surfed the net for further data. I began to feel angry. I grew more and more angry. The more I learned, the more anger presented itself. I realized when I looked at it closely that I was still ferociously angry with Scientology.
The basis of my anger appears to have been being hoodwinked, hook, line and sinker for such a large period of my life. For the wasting of well over ten thousand dollars I could ill afford to waste. For allowing a pattern to be set within my life of inadequacy and overplaying the loyalty card. And for many, many other smaller reasons.
I thought I had come to resolution about it, but alas, I found I had not. So, I allowed myself to work through my anger at these jokers. I am closer now to a true resolution. More layers of the onion have peeled themselves off. One day I am sure, I will find more layers. I hope I won't find as much unresolved anger.
I look at the cognitions and 'wins' I had and realize that while many of them were truly felt, I had my fair share of those that I had scrambled to manufacture to get through the peer pressure of so many Academy nights and late night staff meetings.
I must count myself fortunate that though I had spread 'The Good Word', I was unable to bring people in and get them signed up for courses. But man I was good at handing out pamphlets. I must admit, there is a part of me that detests proselytizing.
But by the time I left, I was homeless, living on one meal a day when I could, living on cigarettes and coffee when I couldn't. I think I got approx 3hrs sleep per night. This was the last nine months of my employment. Org stats were down and my pay was normally between $0.00 and $57.00 per week. The most I ever got was just over $100.00 for a weeks pay. There were no dorms. We each had to make our own way. And it got to be too much and I regained some of my sanity.
I left to save my life. I left to save my sanity. I left to be of better service later. Now I can serve humanity in my own way and through training that resonates and is supportive of every aspect of my beingness.
Now, after over twenty years I am heartened by this group of ersatz malefactors, who despite a trend towards pranks, good and bad natured (in some cases) tricks I feel are the best threat to Scientology save a worldwide governmental crackdown which would only drive it underground. Anonymous is bringing the reality of Scientology kicking and screaming into the light of day where it will lie retching and smoking like a bad Warhol movie character...
Finding Anonymous led me Here... Led me to Xenu.tv...Led me by The Freezone...and I got to finally see the South Park Scientology episode and the Return of Chef....And Laughed My Ass Completely Off!!!
Thank You Anonymous! You are Legion! You Do Not Forgive! You Do Not Forget! Most of All - You Rock!