Page 1 of 7 1234567 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 63

Thread: My name is Carolyn Schofield

  1. #1

    Default My name is Carolyn Schofield

    Hello,

    My name is Carolyn Schofield and I am no longer a Scientologist.

    Thankyou to Kevin Mackey (aka Feral) who spoke with my husband some 5 or so weeks ago. I was admittedly speechless when I first heard from my husband that Kevin was out of the church. My husband had spoken already about leaving the church and I had told him he had better sort it out otherwise he wouldn't be able to see his children. But then I intercepted a phone call from Kev to my husband...

    Kevin was factual and knowledgable. I had a few doubts, asked some questions and he answered with more succint facts that left me in no doubt that I was no longer a Scientologist.

    I spent days freer than I have ever felt before.

    Free of the guilt that has surrounded me regarding the deaths of my two beautiful girls, Lauren Elizabeth Schofield, who died while in the care of staff members during Church Service in 2000, and Kirsty Ann Schofield, who died from eating Potassium Chloride (a salt supplement - or so we believed - used during the purification rundown) like they were smarties, in 2004.

    Leaving the church has made me forget the possible reasons for their deaths that were imposed upon us by OSA and the technology of L. Ron Hubbard. I am now able to grieve these losses without those burdens.

    I do not hold the church accountable for the deaths of my children. I do however disagree with the lack of any responsibility being taken.

    To not act in a normal manner and apologise at the very, very least is tantamount to the condition that the church is in today. There is nothong more human than saying I was wrong. Instead, upon my husband's request for a Board of Investigation into Lauren's death, we met with Michael Gordon, OSA, who told us that, "In the Phoenix Lectures, L. Ron Hubbard says that whatever happens to you happens because you decided it to." What an absolute idiot.

    When my husband finally pushed the B of I to a done it was found that my husband was a Potential Trouble Source because accidents occur around one who is a Potential Trouble Source. Guess who was on the Board, yep, Michael Gordon. I repeat, what an idiot. However this here is where it lays: Michael Gordon was fed these lines. Of that I have no doubts. I remember when he was only new...

    After nicely introverting my husband, I then took over. I questioned it. I wrote to a few terminals and was then told to speak with the L.R.H. Comm as he was ultimately pointed out to be my terminal. What a fabulous solution, the guy got scared seeing his own reflection. How was he going to get anywhere? I wrote to ED International, Guillame Leserve (sp). He told me to read Responsibility. If I wanted to be an emotionless dead robot there's some technology that would do it.

    Nonetheless I went into apathy. Surprised? I'm sure you're not. Remember there is always overt/motivator tech to throw you off as well as the PTS tech and so much more. How can you, without undying conviction, follow this route of justice when it was taught to you that it was probably your own fault.

    An aside: The church is a great source of introverting tech. In this, they are no better than the industries they attack. Tone scale, KSW 1, Dianetics, the list goes on. It's just labelling and boxing. Any "technology" that does this is destructive.

    Not accepting liability for their own mistakes is where the church will come undone. Hiding criminal activities, as has been shown to be the case on Mate's thread, from the police is not only harboring a criminal, but doesn't make the church a safe place to be and it will come to it's own demise. Silly, silly people.

    Please do not hold OSA accountable for the deaths of my children they are not. Posters at protests that say this make the protesters look like idiots as it is not the truth. By all means attack the lack of compassion, attack the lack of justice, attack the lies but don't make up lies for sensational reasons. It hurts me and incites unnecessary emotions that do not create causative action.

    I worry for the staff that were looking after Lauren that day. The church never told me what "ethics" they applied to themselves. I hope for their own sakes that they are able to find truth as well.

    Life is not a joy at the moment. I am confronting emotions that I have not experienced before in regards to Lauren's death, I have yet to confront Kirsty's. These are tragic, tragic losses - unfathomable. I have a hole in my heart that nothing fills. How can that be explained with the tech? It can't. It is painfully normal.

    And painfully normal, although hard, is so much better than what I have experienced - I can feel again.

    Love to you all,

    Carolyn Schofield
    Last edited by Mary Magdalene; 14th July 2011 at 06:34 AM. Reason: A small mistake.
    "There goes my hero - watch him as he goes.
    "There goes my hero - he's ordinary."
    My Hero - Foo Fighters

  2. #2

    Default

    Welcome aboard Carolyn

    May we be good for each other

    Zinj

  3. #3

    Default Thanks!

    Quote Originally Posted by Zinjifar View Post
    Welcome aboard Carolyn

    May we be good for each other

    Zinj
    I think we will be.
    "There goes my hero - watch him as he goes.
    "There goes my hero - he's ordinary."
    My Hero - Foo Fighters

  4. #4
    Gold Meritorious Patron EP - Ethics Particle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    CONUS
    Posts
    4,221

    Arrow To one of my C/Ss...

    Quote Originally Posted by Mary Magdalene View Post
    Hello,

    My name is Carolyn Schofield and I am no longer a Scientologist.

    ...body of text deleted...

    Life is not a joy at the moment. I am confronting emotions that I have not experienced before in regards to Lauren's death, I have yet to confront Kirsty's. These are tragic, tragic losses - unfathomable. I have a hole in my heart that nothing fills. How can that be explained with the tech? It can't. It is painfully normal.

    And painfully normal, although hard, is so much better than what I have experienced - I can feel again.

    Love to you all,

    Carolyn Schofield
    Dear CS,

    This post must have been almost impossible to formulate and submit. I salute you for it, and promise that I, and others, will be there for you as the healing process unfolds.

    Love,

    Mike (Roy and EP)
    "Chastise the scoundrels, unmask the charlatans, and tutor the unschooled mob."

  5. #5
    Patron Meritorious Carnaubawax's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    The frozen north.Too far north. Where it's dark.
    Posts
    678

    Default

    Hello Carolyn, and welcome. Give yourself lots of time, and you will be OK. The world is full of mostly nice people who have good intentions towards the people they meet. It's not the dark, crazy place that the Church says it is. I really wish you well.
    to be happy be happy with what you have to be happy with

  6. #6

    Default I'll always have a soft spot for an Ethics Particle

    Quote Originally Posted by EP - Ethics Particle View Post
    Dear CS,

    This post must have been almost impossible to formulate and submit. I salute you for it, and promise that I, and others, will be there for you as the healing process unfolds.

    Love,

    Mike (Roy and EP)
    Mike,

    You are an awesome man.

    I know you will.

    Thankyou for your support that you have always given.

    Love,

    Carolyn
    "There goes my hero - watch him as he goes.
    "There goes my hero - he's ordinary."
    My Hero - Foo Fighters

  7. #7

    Default You're right.

    Quote Originally Posted by Carnaubawax View Post
    Hello Carolyn, and welcome. Give yourself lots of time, and you will be OK. The world is full of mostly nice people who have good intentions towards the people they meet. It's not the dark, crazy place that the Church says it is. I really wish you well.
    You know what Carnaubawax, you are so right. The world is filled with nice people. It is truly amazing and surprising. The church had me believing that it was not the case. Thankyou.
    "There goes my hero - watch him as he goes.
    "There goes my hero - he's ordinary."
    My Hero - Foo Fighters

  8. #8
    Floater Good twin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    In that oily film on top
    Posts
    8,964

    Default

    Welcome to ESMB Carolyn. Our hearts break with your story.

    GT
    VEDA IS GOD

    Sometimes I'm the Evil Twin.

    http://itwastruelove.blogspot.com

  9. #9
    Cabal Of One Panda Termint's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    13,058

    Default

    Thank you for having the courage to post this, Carolyn.

    Your point about not sensationalising these tragedies or using them to take cheap shots at CofS is well taken.

    Let us simply continue to hound them for what they actually DID to you and your family, that in itself is crime enough!

    Love, Panda.
    Dave Gibbons - Sydney, Australia.
    I don't believe everything I read on the Internet.
    I do believe everything I write.

  10. #10

    Default

    Let's stop them from doing it to anyone else.
    As soon as possible

    Zinj

Page 1 of 7 1234567 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •