Time to share my story

[Kathy (ImOut)]

I figure it's time to share my story of how I got in and why I got out.

First, let me introduce myself.

I got in in July/August 1987 under the name of Kathy Plecas (my 1st married name.) When husband #1 and I divorced I went back to my birth name of Kathy Hubbard. In July 1991 I was married to my 2nd husband and went by the name of Kathy Dawson. After Dawson and I divorced in 2000/2001 I kept the name of Dawson until I married my 3rd husband in October 2005. I am now known as Kathy Cochran.

Here's how it started. It was the summer of 1987. My daughter was 1 1/2 years old. I was NOT doing well with being a stay at home mom/wife. My first husband and I had a lot of third party on our lines. Also, I was still pretty young - 24. My mother had died 3 years prior and I still was not fully out of that grief. Plus, when I'd gotten pregnant with my daughter, I had just (by chance) stopped my cocaine habit. So, when I found out I was pregnant, I also stopped smoking, coffee and alcohol. And back in those days, people didn't really talk about postpartum depression - and I had it pretty bad.

Here's what happened. Husband and I got into a huge fight due to some third partying we had gotten. In my fit of anger I thought it would be a good idea to shoot him - for real with his .45. Since he was holding our daughter while I pointed the gun at him, I figured it wouldn't be a good idea after all - since I'm not that good of a shot and didn't want to miss and get my daughter, nor did I want to spend the rest of my life in jail. Instead, I asked him to send me to a mental hospital - obviously I need some time away from the real world. He refused. So, instead I went to bed praying for some relief/help. Here's the bizarre part - I didn't believe in God. I'd been a Jehovah's Witness for 3 years and I didn't find God to be all that responsive. But I prayed anyway. Something had to be better!

Well, the next morning I wake up having an argument with myself. Here's how it went: you should call XXX (XXX was a Scn). I don't want to call XXX she'll talk to me about Scn. Well, call her anyway. No, I don't want to call. This goes on for 15 - 30 minutes while I'm getting coffee and waking up. The next thing I know, I'm walking past the phone and pick it up to dial XXX - even though I don't know XXX's phone number by heart. Now, XXX never answered the phone, it always went to the answering machine. And this was when answering machines were still fairly new and I hated leaving messages on machines. Well, low and behold, XXX answers the phone.

We talk, she knows about my 9 year drug history and suggests I do the Purification Rundown. What's that? I'll send you some information.

OK, so the information arrives along with a brochure about Scn. The line: "What's true for you...." hooked me. I didn't want to be told what to believe. I'd had enough of that with the JW's.

I discuss it all with my husband and we arrange for me to go to LA - we lived in Oregon. We also arrange for his mother to come watch our daughter. So, I fly to LA.

I start my Purif at the South Bay Mission in Manhattan Beach, CA. Literally, I can see my Grammar School from the lobby window. I can walk to my High School. I'm in my "back yard" - this is where I grew up. This is where I used to ride my bike, catch tadpoles, etc. The mission was in a very small "strip mall" where I'd once bought some very sexy lingerie a few years back. I was home!!!!

The purif goes well, even though I probably over ran it by a week. I'd gone exterior after 7 days. When I'm not on the purif, I'm doing the "Basic Study Pack" from the old VMH. Much needed - my education sucked. After the purif I start Life Repair. Most of the Life Repair auditing is word clearing, since I'm so "green". Well, about 20 hours into my Life Repair, I originate Clear. However, I'm sure the men in white coats are coming to put me in a straight jacket.

Not a problem being Clear, as in "I did this before", I'm CLEAR. Here's the problem - I'd been going exterior in my sessions, so they thought I might have a problem with exteriorization. No, been doing this all my life, just didn't know what the fuck it was. Now they bring in a special auditor to audit me on exteriorization. Strange thing is - I know this lady from when I was a cashier at the local health food store. We'd met a couple of times when she'd go thru my line. I'd gone to school with her son.

Back to the point: She's trying to fix my Int (which of course doesn't need fixing). So back and forth we go until I pitch a fit (I'm good at pitching fits - youngest child of 5 and the only girl ). So, I let her know that I'm fine, I've been doing this all my life and isn't one of the points of Scn auditing is to get the person exterior. Why, Yes it is. Duh! So stop messing with me. OK, we'll stop messing with you.

Now the "fun" begins. I've been "in" for 3 weeks. I should have only been away from home for 2 weeks. And I'm being sent to AOLA for a CCRD. Now understand something - I grew up in LA - I didn't go to Hollywood, I stayed in my neck of the woods or beach as it actually was. LA/Hollywood scared me - you had to drive thru very bad neighborhoods to get to LA from the beach.

Well, I go to AOLA. Of course I'm not given a Tech Estimate, not that I would have known what one was. I pay for an intensive or two, don't remember and start my Objectives. Hated them with a passion. I'm surprised my auditor ever spoke to me again after that. I can cuss worse than a sailor and have really good hissy fits when I want. And I had lots of them on Objectives. Got thru that and started the Drug Rundown. That was fun - I got to relive some really fun highs I'd had. Got thru that pretty fast - cog'd quickly on why I'd done drugs in the first place.

I finally start my CCRD. I'm given a C/S 53 nearly every day. I swear I nearly had that list memorized. At this point I've been gone for 4 weeks. My daughter had been in LA staying at grandma's part of the time. My husband has driven down from Oregon to pick us both up, but I'm not done, I can't leave. OK, fine. I stay and I've now spent $15,000 in 4 weeks.

Well, it's near Labor Day and husband goes hunting every Labor Day with his family and friends. So, I either get my ass on a plane or I don't ever bother coming home. I go and speak to the DofP or whatever the guy's post is - he's very tall - 6'6" or 6'8". I'm standing there breaking my neck to look at him, crying because I have to go home or never go home again. Well, they audit me until midnight (in fact they bring in my auditor from the mission). (Side note: In 3 weeks, I've had 5 auditors.) We don't get thru the CCRD. I go home.

I meet my husband, my daughter and my girlfriend at the airport. My husband hands me my daughter and hits the road for Fresno to go hunting. But just before he gets in the car he says: "by the way, there's a fire across the street from the house, don't worry about it". WTF - we live in the sticks (as in forest). Well, my girlfriend drives us home and sure enough there's a fire across the street and now another one over the mountain ridge. Welcome Home!!!!

To be continued - this is only the first 5 weeks. Promise not to cover the whole 19 years in such detail. Good Twin is making me do this. LOL!!!! Just kidding. She just thought it was a good story and that I should share it. If I'm boring anyone - I'll stop. I can live without reliving my time in Scn.

[Zinjifar]

Great to hear from you Kathy

Feel free to expand on the story. I'm loving how much is coming out.

Zinj

[Good twin]

Originally Posted by ImOut

I figure it's time to share my story of how I got in and why I got out.

Good Twin is making me do this.

Guilty as charged.

[uncle sam]

You keep on posting your story.
AND
I will keep on reading it, with baited breath.You write vividly and with description. It makes for an exciting read.

[Wisened One]

Keep going!

Funny you mention about ppd,

I'd first went in to my local Mission (1989) because I was feeling depressed too!! .....only to discover a few days later that I was pregnant with my 2nd baby...and WITH TWINS!
(I'm a 90 lb girl, so THIS SCARED ME!...sidenote: a few weeks later my body re-absorbed the 2nd embryo, so continued preg just fine with just my daughter.)...

Yep, my HORMONES was a lot of the reason I was depressed, too!

Course, the Mission talked me into staying and gave me a few DN sessions anyways.....:eyesroll:

At any rate:

continue......

[holdemm]

Nice story, just one question from a Wog, what are lines?

[Kathy (ImOut)]

Originally Posted by holdemm

Nice story, just one question from a Wog, what are lines?

I use "line" a couple of times, so hopefully I'll answer this correctly.

Line as in, the sentence that reads...

Or, going thru my line - grocery store check out line.

In Scn it means the route you take on a routing form, you see this person, then the next person and the person after that - going thru the lines = seeing nearly every person in an Org.

Does that answer your question????

[Kathy (ImOut)]

Well, the fires were exciting - NOT. My daughter and I evacuated by choice. Packed up the pets and a few necessities and stayed at my girlfriend's.

Back to the story:
By January of 1988 I go back to AOLA to finish my CCRD. I get a different auditor. I get told I'm NOT Clear. Not a happy camper. I go home. I get very sick. Very hard to take care of daughter when I can't get off the couch for a week.

My husband and I go to Portland CC to do the Comm Course. Fine. Or we went to do a marriage handling. I don't remember.

Two things happen: 1. my husband finds the LRH reference about Unattested state of Clear - really indicated to me. 2. I leave my tech dictionary in Portland (we live in Southern Oregon) and this is one of the few books I own. I call numerous times and am told it will be mailed to me. Several months go by, and still no book. I'm pissed. I call AOLA and I want a "refund", not even knowing what the hell that means to the CofS. What had happened, was that when I was there in January they had me put money on account and sold me the Red Vols. I didn't need or want the Red Vols. Money was getting tight since I'd spent so much the year before. Husband was pissed about the money I had spent. So, I needed the $1000 or so on account back to shut my husband up.

The ED from the Mission I started at calls me and asks what happened. Truly, I just want my damn tech dictionary back. A week later I have an ARCX auditor at my house - he flew up from LA. Everything gets straightened out and all is good with the world again. And I got my tech dictionary back from Portland CC.

I somehow manage to handle my husband on the money issue. Besides the fact that it was my inheritance to spend as I pleased. At least that was my opinion.

In the meantime, I've been handling a lump on my breast that was more than likely caused by the purif from my liver getting over taxed. And my marriage is severely on the rocks.

The end of 1988 - I leave for LA with the plans to stay married to my husband. I'm going to open a "Hubbard-based School" with a bunch of OTs.

More to follow.

[Good twin]

Wow! I never knew........ please continue......

[GreyLensman]

Originally Posted by ImOut

Well, about 20 hours into my Life Repair, I originate Clear. However, I'm sure the men in white coats are coming to put me in a straight jacket.

Not a problem being Clear, as in "I did this before", I'm CLEAR. Here's the problem - I'd been going exterior in my sessions, so they thought I might have a problem with exteriorization. No, been doing this all my life, just didn't know what the fuck it was. Now they bring in a special auditor to audit me on exteriorization. Strange thing is - I know this lady from when I was a cashier at the local health food store. We'd met a couple of times when she'd go thru my line. I'd gone to school with her son.

Back to the point: She's trying to fix my Int (which of course doesn't need fixing). So back and forth we go until I pitch a fit (I'm good at pitching fits - youngest child of 5 and the only girl ). So, I let her know that I'm fine, I've been doing this all my life and isn't one of the points of Scn auditing is to get the person exterior. Why, Yes it is. Duh! So stop messing with me. OK, we'll stop messing with you.

Hi Kathy.

I know exactly what you mean. I did three or four of the Int Rdn's until attesting Thetan Exterior and after that I just pointed at the attest and told them to take a hike.

Of couse I'm exterior and no, it didn't restimulate anything... That's how it's supposed to be.

Keep writing!