LOSE AWARENESS OF AWARENESS Thats whats happening HAVE HIS WHOLE TRACK transferred to another mind. THIS IS AN ACCOUNT OF A VERY SERIOUS EVENT THAT WILL EXIST FOR A BREATH ON THIS BOARD.= http://www.antisectes.net/class12.htm source of below quote "In 1983-84, the Int Finance police auditing under threat of permanent expulsion from Scientology lost all future lifetimes." Pierre Ethier Top Producing FLAG CLXII Auditor THE SYMBOL MAY BE FOUND IN RESEARCH AND DISCOVERY VOLUME ABOUT TECHNIQUE 80 OR VOLUME 1 OF TECH VOLUMES--INDIVIDUAL TRACK MAP. THE SYMBOL IS 0----- WITH A SOLID BALL ON THE END..[/U][/COLOR][/B] ... THOSE WHO ENSLAVE OTHERS CANNOT HELP BUT BECOME ENSLAVED THEMSELVES THE TECH IS ONLY DANGEROUS TO THOSE WHO ARE DANGEROUS...MIS-USED MIS-APPLIED. I WILL SAY AT THE OUT SET I KNOW THE TECH WORKS...MIS-USED IT WORKS IN REVERSE. THE TECH IS LIVE, IN THE HANDS OF SOMEONE WHO DOESNT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING IT CAN BE DEADLY. [ COLOR="Red"] THE LAST ABILITIES OF A THETAN ARE CONFUSION AND DESTRUCTION.[/COLOR] I WILL SAY SCIO PRESSURE CAUSED THIS .. SCIO DID DO THIS TO ME... TO THE TROLLS SALIVATING BLOOD... WITH PLEASURE AT THE DEMISE OF ANOTHER THETAN... YOU MAY BE NEXT I WOULD LIKE ANY TECHNICAL CS OR AUDITOR WHO IS FAMILIAR WITH THIS SYMBOL , AS IT HAS BEEN CONFIRMEDTO ME AS DOCUMENTED SOMEWHERE BY A CLIX AUDITOR, COULD THAT INDIVIDUAL PLEASE VALIDATE ITS EXISTENCE AND THIS PHENOMENA IM EXPERIENCIN. Il also say i believe in the TECH ,SCIO , the grades etc ,, there are aspects of it i now disagree with that i wont go into. I Say its the R6 bank reactive mind as the boody has been taken over.... and the whole sequence has been like an inverted down the tone scale. Since reading a post by Leon another member of this forum whop is studied much.. his post 17 April 2010 was very indicative of what i may have experienced. SEE THE VIDEOS BELOW IF YOU DONT BELIEVE ITS POSSIBLE WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE TO BE POSTING THE ETERNALLY NEGATIVE THREAD?? I HAVE AS A TRUTH PRIDED MYSELF FORMER SELF AS BEING ABLE TO NOT SHOW CASE AFTER BEING IN SCIENTOLOGY. I WOULD HAVE MENTIONED SOMETHING TO SOMEONE I TRUST.. BUT NEVER THIS TYPE OF POST ABOUT LIFE OR ITS DIFFICULTIES. THIS IS THE NEGATIVE SIDE OF THE TONE SCALE, THIS IS THE END OF FREE THOUGHT/ POSTULATES. THIS POST IS LONG, MANY SECTIONS, ITS LONG AND MAY SEEM VERY CASY AND IS. . THIS IS AN ACCOUNT OF AN IMPENETRABLE SEQUENCE, NO DECISION PAST A POINT. What it comes down to is low opinion of oneself failing, losing friends through gambling, when all i ever wanted to do was help. when i found myself snapping at the org that was it i crumbled. WHEN YOU HAVE A FLAG REP TELLING YOU THAT ITS IRREVERSIBLE, YOULL COME OUT OF IT BUT NOT HOW, THAT YOUR PICTURES GET MOVED AROUND. WHEN YOU DSA AUCKLAND TELLING YOU ITS THE CONCEPT OF AN ENGRAM, ITS ALL IN REVERSE. TO HOW A NORMAL THETAN /SPIRIT OPERATES. SYDNEY ORG TELLING YOU , YOU HAVE HAD ONE HIT TOO MANY. WHEN I JOIND THE S/O I WAS ANALYZING THE TRUTH, WHAT IS TRUE FOR ME IS TRUE FOR ME. ]AT SOME POINT IT BECAME ALL TRUE, AND COULD NOT CONCIEVE ./ WAS VERY WARY OF DOING WRONG.. I WILL ALSO SAY AT THIS POINT, I ALWAYS SINCE A KID HAD A FEAR OF COMMITTING AN OVERT I HAD A PRE-DISPOSITION TO CAVING IN IF I BELIEVED I WAS NOT ACCEPTABLE OR CROSSED THE LINE ON MY OWN INTEGRITY, AND IT TOOK WHAT WOULD BE CONSIDERED VERY LITTLE TO ACHIEVE A CAVE IN. I WAS AFFECTED AT SCHOOL BY THIS , BEING CRITICISED BY OTHER KIDS AT SCHOOL. IN LONDON A FALL OUT WITH A GIRLFRIEND. WHEN TELLING MY PARENTS I GOT MARRIED AFTER I HAD. WHEN I ROUTED OUT OF THE SEA ORG, AND WAS SHUNNED. WHEN I STARTED GAMBLING..LOSING RESPECT FROM FRIENDS AND FAMILY. WHEN MY WIFE LEFT ME. I FOUND IT VERY DIFFICULT TO AGREE TO THIRD PARTY... RESULTING IN AN ARGUMENT, TAKING THE OPPOSITIONS VIEW.. OR NEUTRAL VIEW.. THIS CREATED A CONFLICT. IM TRYING TO PUT IT AS A CONDITION. TRYING TO BE GOOD.NICE TO EVERYONE.. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED. THE END PART IS THE BODY TAKES OVER AND RUNS ME.. Next thing i get numb hands in bed..WARNING http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CZOIiYVMOI http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUCLhww0ilg http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdhBP9EFKfs i dont feel well, cant sleep. 13 Feb 2010 as im not feeling well i do an assist feel the aliveness.. sink into a strange hypnotic type trance.TRIPLE WARNING FEB 17 go to doctor get tests come back high white cell , VERY BAD Cholesterol, the worst the doctor has seen.Possible skin cancer. 15 feb 2010 flag tells me to go to auckland org, get into argument over contact details. start to get this very strange out PT like heatwaves happening.WARNING TURN AROUND AND CALL THE ORG SOMEONE HANDS ARE SWEATING MOLTEN LAVA HEAD SENSATION( i never get headaches)IT BLOWS on RECOGNITION Contact org , i feel PTs contact org again im an sp im affecting others. TWO CONFLICTING OPPOSITES I do a havingness process on myself... what the cant have personality cant have... using my girlfriends father as the cant have...midway through.. i realise he has more than me "THESE TWO ITEMS LOCK UP IN A CONFUSION "and i feel very VERY STRANGE I try contact sydney org more and more to get answers,,, I send an email being critical of org members who were pushy.WARNING i know also that i have all this past out ethics to handle, incl vergin on criminal how the hell am i going to get auditing with that there STRANGE OUT PRESENT TIME LIKE HEATWAVES continues. Im up walking all nights cant sleep. FEB 27 I get a hold of org Mar 3 I HAVE bicycle accident break collarbone. MAR4 listen to State of Man Overts and Witholds Lecture PUNISHMENT -- duplicate this happened in 2008 too in my key in MAR6 TELL GIRLFRIEND ... I HAVENT HEARD FROM ORG AFTER REPEATED REQUESTS..THAT I MAY NOT BE IN SCIO ANYMORE WE GO TO A CONCERT IN THE PARK...I CANNOT SIT STILL AND HAVE LRH IN MY HEAD PUNCHING ME AGAIN... WHAT THE HELL IS MY OVERT...IM DUBBING IN THIS FOR... MAR7 midday still no word from org.. i text and say i will donate $1000 to org fung... i get a reply march 7 talk to org, tell of strange out pt like heatwaves, strange lock up on confusion.DEEP APATHY... SYMBOL GOING TO ZEROshe says it probably happen billions of years ago.ITS NOT THE ITEM AGAIN THIS IMPINGES---LIKE IM LETTING ANY SCIO COMM IN... IF MY GIRLFRIEND SAID ITS NOT THE ITEM IT WOULDNT IMPINGE WHY THE HELL IS THIS.. ITS THE SOURCE. march 8 RUN DOWN TO BEACH SHOUTING MY DATA IS NOT MY DATA. Molten lava head sensation. march 20 get told to read "the only thing that can alter self determinism is self determinism itself" FROM APA . instantly my analyzer is cut in two. March 22 my pictures feel like they are whirling many feet above my head, and i am using incredible intention to keep them OFF ME march 29 prickly arms. april 2 pictures start freewheeling. I am trying to fight them off april 3 whole body weird., thoughts that seem my own are directing me to do things, i try to work and hold position to do work carry out one cycle but am being moved to go here go there,EYES TAKEN OVER. eyes just moved and pointed in a direction.. out of my control April 9 A TRIAL IN PICTURES OF MY LIFE how i am supposed to have helped but havent. shows two lives ONE AS A GOOD GUY WHO HELPED AND ANOTHER OF A OUT ETHICS GUY.... WHO WENT THE OPPOSITE TO THE GOAL AND WHO FAILED. I WRITH ON THE BED SCREAMING NO. i ilook around at objects.. planes i fell loss.. all objects.. I usually enjoy are impinged as a loss causing wailing, crying. April 10 go see an OT5 ED auckland org... she says dont take a peek in your mind and ED sydney says do what you did in 08 I say ive tried that, i vommit trying to do a locational... walking doesnt work anymore. When i try to get a reality, a VOICE has come in saying no affinity no communication no reality April 13 jolts from body getting a thought. April 15 BODY IS NUMB April 17 see OT 5 Doc helen Smith... she asks when body reactions start. next a image of two guys in black capes and a comm ive done this to them sent them to zero. April 24 losing ability to put intention out. april 27 losing connection to environment, admitted to hospital via ambulance. go home. strange out of PT like heat waves still. MAY 3 SITTING OUTSIDE I REALISE SOMETHING AND START TO YAWN , I FEEL LIKE MY ANALYTICAL POWER HAS DECREASED. MAY 10 WHILE GOING OVER A PREVIOUS PROBLEM IT FEELS LIKE IT IS DELETED AT THAT MOMENT I TRY TO FIND IT IT HAS DISOLVED. MAY 13 TRYING TO EXPLAIN THE PHENOMENA TO MY GIRLFRIEND ..ABOUT LACK OF REALITY SAME THING LIKE IT IS DELETED INSPECTING IT.. THIS TIME IT IS PAINFUL. may 21 i am walking the streets seeing a picture sliding into my mind of the environment as i look at it, this starts off as a 6 second delay and the time lag is less and less till it is as i look at the environment I will also say that.. when i look at a glass of wine in my mind its coke.. shifting realities. cannot sleep. cchr arrive to get data from me. may 22 sydney org call,,HI SHAUN ARE YOU IN A STRANGE PT...YES I SAY CALLER SAYS WE have found YOUR Symbol in a History of Man. I say who put it there.. Caller says "who do you think"... I dont know... caller says "YOU DID" "NOW YOU REALLY NEED TO GET OVER THIS HIGH CRIME THING WHEN YOU BOUGHT YOUR BASICS" I say nothing resolves anymore i can say it but now its not real... i can talk about but it doesnt mean anything cant AS-IS it. CALLER SAYS OK We are going to run a understanding process,WE DO OVER THE PHONE. i have a cognition, i feel my mind is opening up. PASS THE PHONE OVER TO GIRLFRIEND. She is told "WE NEED TO STOP THE BLEEDING OF THETA". may 23 same process doesnt work .. BODY IS TWISTING LIKE A CROCODILE ROLL TRYING TO GET AN OBJECTIVE REALITY- MY GIRLFRIEND LOOKS ON IN HORROR. may 24 flag rep calls says that i dont die as a thetan , but my pictures move around to somewhere else. may 25 DSA auckland calls and explains that HE HAS GOT THE DATA FROM CCHR I ASK HOW THE HELL CAN THIS HAPPEN TO A THETAN THIS CANT BE POSSIBLE HIS REPLY , there are plenty of people around who are not aware of being aware. HOW DOES IT DO IT.. HE SAYS That the mechanical aspect of it is THAT OF AN ENGRAM mechanically. HE THEN SAYS AT LEAST YOU STILL KNOW SOME THINGS STILL AWARE OF BEING AWARE. I say this doesnt /cant happen to non scientologists... he says i dont know if i would agree with that. HE ALSO SAYS YOUR A FIGURE FIGURE CASE ARENT YOU, AND THAT THE DATA HE GOT FROM CCHR ON THE FEEL THE ALIVENESS ASSSIT AND THE HYPNOTIC TRANCE I WENT INTO EXPLAINS ALOT (ATTENTION ON BODY) I ASK HIM COULD I STOP/HALT THIS IF I WAS EXTERIOR TO THE BODY. HE SAYS NO IT IS NO DIFFERENT IN OR OUT. may 29 . sydney org call, Diane Gilbert comes on as Chaplain Sydney org says LAST RITES AS AN AWARENESS OF AWARENESS UNIT LIVE THETAN, that when i had my cycling accident I HAD ONE HIT TOO MANY AND TALKS ABOUT TOO MUCH CONCENTRATION ON THE BODY I RECALL BACK TO THE FEEL THE ALIVENESS ASSIST. MEETING AT AUCKLAND ORG DSA,DSA SAYS SEEMS TO ME THIS COMM WITH FLAG IS THE STRAW THAT BROKE THE CAMELS BACK,, SYMBOLS IS PRETTY LOW ON THE TONE SCALE ISNT IT.. DSA PUSHES ME TO DISCLOSE WHAT MY OVERTS THAT WERE RELAYED TO CCHR AND SYDORG BUT NOT IN DETAIL JUST GENERAL, I SAY IM NOT GOING TO GO INTO IT GET OFF OF IT.. THE CONVERSATION GOES ONTO SOMETHING ELSE ..THEN AGAIN A STAB .. SO WHAT DID YOU DO THAT WAS SO TERRIBLE..IM NOT GOING TO TELL YOU.. I AM NOT GOING TO GIVE HIM THE SATISFACTION OF DIRTYING MY NAME EVEN IF AM I KNOW I AM GOING DOWN FOR THE LAST TIME FORFEITING ALL LIVES-..THIS MEETING GOES ON FOR ABOUT AN HOUR THEREABOUTS.. I LEAVE MY GIRLFRIEND IS ASKED IN, SHE IS ASKED WOULD SHE LIKE TO DO A COURSE.. LATER I SEE THE INVITATION TO DO A COURSE AS NOTHING MORE THAN A PUBLIC RELATIONS ACTION. SHE DOESNT DO THE COURSE. TRYING TO WORK OUT A MATHEMATICS PROBLEM WHICH WOULD HAVE BEEN EASY I AM DRIVEN NUTS YELLING SCREAMING. I cannot understand tv and movies with meaning. May 30 stars start to go dim .....when i squeeze my body the stars get brighter. Explain thatjune 6 cannot walk and think without resistance from body. START GRUNTING WHEN TRYING TO WALK AND THINK AT SAME TIME OR WALK AND TO A LOCATION WITH INTENTION.[/B ]MAY 30 Call from ANZO CLO... Its the same SO member who told me i couldnt buy out of the org jan 2008..that it was illegal and a high crime.... he is asking do i want to buy the ACC's i say no i dont think that will help.. he says what about 1 CD from the ist ACC ... i say no...i then say why the hell should i cover your arse because i am dying!!! i then ask why the hell didnt YOU reply to my texts... he says sorry about that. 2nd June.. i text SYD CLV ED..CHAPLAIN ,, her response... ARE YOU STILL TAKING YOUR VITRINONS AND DONE.for the initiated it will be understood why that style of comm is sent... IDENTIFICATION.. SEARCHING THE INTERNET I COME ACROSS DATA ABOUT BST, LTA, A BLOG BY BARBARA SCHWARZ I FIND OUT ABOUT THETANS BEING JELLY BEANED I WRITE A COMMENT AT THE BOTTOM, I GET A REPLY A FEW DAYS LATER, one which seems like a helpful flow and then the emails become less helpful as though from a different source. I send an email through to her email on a different email account. this is the response.Leading me to believe MARTY BLOG BY BARBARA SCHWARZ Isnt run by barbara Schwarz at all but someone else as a lure, bait. Hi Shaun, It is me but it is better to be careful. Some e-mail accounts are being hacked. Anyway, Shaun, I watched the video. You are in a lot of pain. But I am not able to figure out what is causing your pain. Are having an illness? Like cancer? I am asking this because you have no hair on the photo. Best wishes, Barbara Schwarz I AM WORKING ON THE FARM FIGHTING TO THINK , A FEW DAYS LATER OBSERVE THAT IT IS GETTING EASY TO KNOW WHERE THINGS ARE, HOW TO DO THINGS..I AM BEING DIRECTED WHAT TO DO, IN SOCIAL SITUATIONS WORDS JOKES MIRACULOUSLY PRESENT THEMSELVES, WALKING IN CERTAIN LOCATIONS I AM REMINDED OF THE PREVIOUS THOUGHT(S) I HAD AT A PREVIOUS TIME, PROMPTED. STIMULUS RESPONSE TO THE ENVIRONMENT. IT IS THE SAME CIRCUIT DAY IN DAY OUT WITH REGARD TO ACTION. 22nd JUNE MEST BODY, REACTIVE MIND, BODY WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT... FIGHTS FOR ITS OWN WAY IN SHOWER... I WANT TO WASH IT HAS OTHER IDEAS...IT GOES NUTS IT WINS... 25th june I agree to buy ACC in an effort to see if it will change alter course of this sequence.. i ask for money to come off my account to buy ACC's $8500 2 JULY ACCs arrive sent on 18th JUNE. FIND OUT on receipt ACC'S WERE ALREADY PURCHASED AND MONEY CAME OFF ACCOUNT 2WEEKS BEFORE I ORDER THEM ON OR AROUND THE 11th of June im losing my ARC KRC i dont have any pictures... life has dwindled down to prompt thought... body reactions.. no time or tone.. my knowledge is dissappearing... the same knowledge that when you use an emeter registers as something there... the energy a being produces exists as charge ....the knowledge that is part of a LIVE BEING inherent [ i have worked .. i have done objective processes for fun the other day i played a game throwing a lighter in the air on the third attempt i threw up.. im not playing a victim.. fighting this meat body constantly.