Life after Scientology. I can't really think of a better place to make this post. I can't say that my life after Scientology has been easy, but it's been worth every scrape and clawing along the 18 years that I've been out. I'm not going to lie. I'm still affected by my experience, and I wasn't even in the Sea Org! I was only on staff for a little under three years at one point, but I had very intense relationships with certain Scientologists, inner social circles, and groups. They were like little cults within the cult. I am just a sensitive person who takes on other people's emotions -- but, I had my "TRs in" the whole time, so no one would be the wiser. Meanwhile, I suffered untreated mental illness underneath it all. First of all, I want others to know, if you've been out for five years, 10 years, or whatever, and still feel un-tethered from the Earth, or you're still having nightmares, you're not alone. But life is still better here. It's PTSD you are experiencing. Look up Complex-PTSD, because it better describes what we go through. Get some help with it because living in fear only sucks. It sucks so bad. I know. I have lived a lot of my years out of Scientology in fear. In the coming weeks, months, or whatever, I am about to face my fears. As some of you know, I have been working on a memoir. For a long time now. Almost nine years. It is not a book about surviving Scientology, specifically, but it is in part. In large part. I suffered abuses long before I got into the cult. I was only 12 when I became interested. The gist is that my older brother had a connection, or a relationship, with a major celebrity who introduced him to Scientology, and that is how I came into it. Yadda yadda... So Scientology is prevalent throughout the book. I found I had to explain a ton about how it worked, which took up precious pages, leaving me having to cut many other stories about my life I would have liked to tell. But, this is my first book, and maybe I can write another one down the line. This past Wednesday, I finished this book, and I am hereby looking for a publisher, and/or an agent that can pitch it to a major publishing house. I can't have anyone read it for free yet because I need a lawyer to look it over first. I just wanted to announce it here on the forum that I finished it. If anyone here has any connections to agents, or attorneys that help low income artists, or Harper Collins.. heh, please send them my way.