I was an SO member for 17 years, and it has been quite a few years since I am out. But only recently, actually, its only been since yesterday, I realized the ill intent of LRH and others in on this absolute brilliant deception, which is Scientology. It has perfect control mechanics, disguised as standard tech. Scientology is so convincing, that discovering its true nature, has been like pealing an onion. I think i've been pealing the onion, for several years now, sometimes even putting a layer or two back on, as i couldn't face the truth, not only because of how important i held Scientology, but how much i was not willing to accept to the degree I had been duped, and to conceive that people could be so evil and debased to carry out such a crime, year in and year out, People I held at such high esteem, are actually worse than any "SP" I've ever hard off before. It actually took me 8 years, yes, 8 years on and off, before the bad dreams totally subsided, dreams of being under ethics, being judged so harshly under sever pressure. That feeling of being looked upon so disdainfully. You see i had a history of wanting to leave, I wanted to leave many times, but actually communicated it about 6 times. Other times I'd convince myself to stay. The reason I kept staying stemmed from my own conviction of doing the "greatest good" and the other hard working staff,I didn't want to put more weight on their shoulders. I hated the pressure one goes through, when one communicates they want to leave, but that was never the reason I did stay. I endured 3 months of routing out. I get secondaries after seeing pictures of flag interiors, lol. I wish to help in the effort of getting the truth to SO members. I also wish to find friends who where SO members at Flag.