I'm not sure whether this topic has been discussed before on the board: if so, apologies for starting a new thread. I'm just wondering whether anyone experienced memory loss or other strange, related phenomena, during or after their time in Scn. Let me explain (as best as I can) some strange things that I have experienced. I'm curious as to whether the symptoms sound familiar to anyone. Just after I left staff in Scn, I noticed that my ability to recall things was deteriorating, and my thinking wasn't as clear as it had previously been. I was only in my early 20s. I had started smoking cigarettes around that time. Although the ED of my local org insisted that the memory deterioration was because of my out-ethics irresponsibility, leaving staff. I knew that was bullshit, and attributed it to the smoking. However, most smokers that I ask don't think that their memory deteriorated after they started smoking (ha, perhaps they simply can't remember). Has anyone else experienced this after starting smoking? Or after leaving staff/SO/Scientology? Another strange set of things I have experienced on several occasions (which I think is somehow related to the above): one is, I am looking for something. I look all over the desk for it. It's not there. I search the desk again. It's definitely not there. Then upon looking for a third time, I see that it is RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. Somehow, my perception apparatus just ignored the fact that it was there, like in a hypnotic stage act where the hypnotist tells the subject that someone/thing isn't there. I have a friend with a very sharp mind and very good memory. When I spend time with her (which is very often) it is SIMPLY IMPOSSIBLE for me to be RIGHT. I suggest we go to X and then to Y. She knows a more efficient route (and is right). I make a simple and obviously right statement about something. She contradicts me immediately, without a moment's thought, and as soon as she says it, I know that she is right, and I was wrong. It will happen every few minutes. It has gotten to the stage where I dare not venture an opinion, or make a decision, about anything in her presence. Then there will be strange synchronicities. For example, I will be about to say something on a topic we were not talking about. Before I open my mouth, she will say something on the same topic, that makes whatever I was about to say wrong. It makes me feel like a paranoid schizophrenic. Because this happens so often, and so predictably, that the most 'logical' explanation is that I am in some kind of matrix, and somebody is trying to do me in by feeding my thoughts to this other person, and giving them the thoughts needed to make me wrong. I often stay quiet and analyse what just happened. Sometimes there is an explanation. Sometimes, I have to conclude that this person is doing something supernatural. Not because I necessarily believe that is the case. But simply because, as Sherlock Holmes would say, when you have ruled out all likely explanations, then whatever you are left with is the true explanation, no matter how unlikely it is. And it ISN'T A PLEASANT EXPERIENCE. It happens ALL THE TIME. The person herself seems completely unaware she is doing it. She can't help it. In exasperation, I have pointed it out on several occasions. The result: it gets WORSE. She does it more frequently. I find this truly bizarre. It even extends to things that simply CAN'T be the result of a mental computation (though her mind seems to be like that of a computer). She will make a guess about something (for example, where a place we have never been to is: do we turn right or left?). Her guess will always be right. I quiz her about how she knew that. "It was just a guess". I ask her, did she have some information I didn't have. "No". I now fully understand what it must be like to be a paranoid schizophrenic. I don't think I am one, because usually this person and me both agree on what just happened. The only difference is that I see that what happened just made me wrong, whereas the other person doesn't necessarily know what I was thinking just before she opened her mouth. I know that this sounds bananas. Has anyone else experienced something like this? The interesting thing is that the person to whom I refer would, by Scientology criteria, be an ideal person. Enthusiastic, very able to get things done, smart, perceptive [EDIT: 'perceptive' is an understatement: she once went out. Before she got back, I picked my wallet up off the table, went to a nearby shop, bought something, came back, and put my wallet back on the table. As soon as she returned, she knew I'd been out, because my wallet had moved a few inches on the table], works on a task until it is done, high level of ethics, etc. Apart from the above, the only negative thing I can say about the person is that she is very stingy in giving praise. And CAN'T CONCEIVE of ever being wrong. But those weird synchronicities tell me there is more to it than that... W.