Nightmares increasing 8 years after leaving

Discussion in 'Life After Scientology' started by wiseman_of_the_watchtower, Mar 4, 2018.

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  1. wiseman_of_the_watchtower

    wiseman_of_the_watchtower Patron with Honors


    I am writing this at 3am because I am having a terrible night. I have woken up about 6-7 times since midnight (I fell asleep at 9pm) each time feeling awful and in some cases breathing really fast as if I had stopped breathing.

    The nightmares, in most cases, took place as if I was still in the Sea Org, still a loyal believer, and finding myself in very stressful situations, the underlying one being that I am still trapped in my own mind, in the scientology paradigm.

    I wouldn't even call these nightmares. I have had the occasional nightmare, the content of which was completely bogus and the only significant element was the feeling of fear. Every time I woke up from one I was glad it was over. Not tonight.

    i would rather use my own term "sadmares" to describe what I have been experiencing on and off since leaving scientology. These I am not glad to have woken up, rather I wake up feeling like complete shit and they can sometimes ruin my whole day. The difference being that the content of the dream hits close to home and might have actually happened, had I not managed to free myself back in 2009.

    It doesn't seem to make sense that the sadmares would be on the rise after so long. It could be another case where my psychiatrist knows my brain better than I do after all. Rather than the trauma from scientology being the trigger for these sadmares, it could be so deeply engrained in my mind that regardless of what I am actually stressed about, my brain uses the context of the Sea Org as its primary symbol of stress, anxiety, the feeling of being trapped, and fear. I could actually be stressed about the recent past or the distant future, but the dream world doesn't always directly correlate to present reality.

    I also just wanted to let everyone know that while I am no longer routinely posting on-line nor actively protesting, I am still alive and doing my best to enjoy the freedom of living and thinking for myself.
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  2. TrevAnon

    TrevAnon Big List researcher

    Hang in there! :rose:

    Haven't followed your posts, but as you tell about your psychiatrist maybe knowing your brain better than you (LOL!), I'm assuming you already can rely on professional help if necessary. :)
  3. scooter

    scooter Gold Meritorious Patron

    Hey, I'm coming up to 10 years out and I woke up with a cult nightmare this morning.

    It was the usual: OSA were after me because I was secretly trying to get friends out of the cult while under-the-radar and I was being pursued. As usual, when I did get up, I found that I'd come down with some mild virus.:dramaqueen:

    They happen very infrequently to me these days, for which I'm very glad.:yes:

    So hang in there and keep on pursuing the freedom that we were denied when "in." That's what make it all worthwhile.:biggrin:
  4. FoTi

    FoTi Crusader

    Wiseman....doesn't sound like your psychiatrist is doing much for you.....maybe it would help to look for someone else.

    Sleep apnea, and low levels appear to be related to nightmares according to the research I've done online. It might help to check out You Tube, Ted Talks, etc. on the subject of nightmares.

    Not too long ago I started having trouble with sleep apnea. It was scary....I didn't know how to get enough sleep if I kept waking up every few minutes. Someone recommended a specific chiropractor to me. I decided to try her. I learned that there are different types of chiropractic. This one I went to uses Torque Release. It's very gentle and very effective. It's not real more over time. At first I went twice a week and what I noticed after a few sessions was that I started experiencing emotional releases between sessions. I cried quite a bit, especially at night and blew off a lot of past upsets which became less and less over time. It was a relief to get rid of this old mental/emotional junk that I had been carrying around which was disturbing me, but I didn't know what was really bothering me. This type of therapy has been wonderful for me....gradually my body and my thinking and my emotions have been getting better. I continue to go once a week to continue getting better. It's really wonderful. The following video will give you an idea of how Torque Release works.

    There are different types of chiropractors. Some with with moving and manipulating the bones and muscles. Torque Release is works more with the brain and the nervous system.

    My sleep apnea went away with this technique and so did my eczema.....and I had gone to 3 different doctors to try to get rid of the eczema with no result. Also got rid of pain in neck and shoulders from an old injury from 23 years ago. I also had problems of allergies to foods, which I can now eat without itching all over. I have gone to chiropractors off an on all my life when I needed it, but none have had these kinds of results for me before.

    I also have taken B1 whenever I have started to have bad dreams and that has always worked for me to stop it.

    I don't know if any of this will help you, but here's hoping. :fromme:
  5. Miss Ellie

    Miss Ellie Patron with Honors

    I have always had weird dreams and adding in PTSD did not help. Depending on different issues different things have helped.

    1. Exercise exercise and more exercise. Yoga.
    2. Chiropractic and full body massage.
    3. Anti-depresents - off and on during the years.
    4. Activities... Kayaking, motorcycles, gardening and more.
    5. Counseling professional and trusted friends.
    6. Thinking about what I want to change in my life and what I need to make it happen.

    When all else fails.. Living with the dreams but realizing dreams do not control me... I may not control them but they do not control me. If I wake with a bad dream a game or two of salitar on my cell phone and I fall back to sleep.

    Good luck and sweet dreams.
  6. FoTi

    FoTi Crusader

  7. Teanntás

    Teanntás Silver Meritorious Patron

    This might help
    Alpha,Delta,Theta,Gamma and Beta Advanced Music meditation Technique!!

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