Scientology and Homosexualty - my story from the inside...

Discussion in 'Stories From Inside Scientology' started by imnotafraidanymore, Mar 30, 2010.

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  1. Dear Reader;

    The following is my account of how i got involved in Scientology and how i was treated when they discovered i was gay. There is more to my roller coaster ride in this cult that i will share later but this is about the homosexual discrimination and the physical and mental abuise i suffered as a result.

    In year 10 i was working for family in a CD store in Albury, NSW. I really loved my job and loved this part of my family, they always seemed so happy and in charge of life. I was a very shy teenager and for as long as i can remember had been a gay., tho i dared not tell anyone or act upon it. My Auntie and Uncle suggested that i come and do a Communications Course to help me get more confident. I was a bit hesitant about this but went ahead and went to Canberra where the place was. I wasn't really sure what "Scientology" was but i always knew that only this part of my family was into it. The course was a tad odd and i remember thinking of several occasions how is this meant to help me. Well i am one that can testify now this course changed my life. I came right out of my shell and finally could look people in the eye when i spoke with them.

    After this i moved a few times with my mum and had no further training for a few years. In this time i had also had 1 heterosexual relationship and we had a daughter. My next experience with the Church was hearing that my cousin that i was very close to had joined the "Sea Org" and worked and lived with them in sydney. Well i didn't really know what "Sea Org" was but i just wanted to visit my cousin and make sure she was ok.

    When i arrived in Sydney from Newcastle i found my way to Greek St in Glebe where i was told my cousin was. I walked in the reception and there she was. Well this didn't seem to bad, the place was immaculate, and expensive. My reservations were somewhat relived. A lady saw me talking to my cousin and swiftly came over to enquire what i was doing here. I said my cousin worked here and i just wanted to see her. I was told she was about to come off shift and if i wanted to watch a quick movie to past the time she would put one on. I agreed. Well i was led to the projector room. The "Sea Organisation" recruitment video came on. They were saving the planet, it needed to be done now, they need more people. It stopped and started to replay... This went on over and over i estimate between 10-20 times... Finally a lady came in and said she wanted me to answer a questionnaire. I was feeling quite drowsy and went along. I was suddenly on a body routing form all i wanted to do was see my cousin.

    I answered the questionnaire and then was body routed back to the movie theater to watch another film this time about LRH. After this was played 3-4 times the lady came and got me and handed me back to my cousin. She explained that they wanted me to join the Sea Organization as well but it was completely up to me and all we had to do was wait for the Personality Test results to come back and in the mean time we caught up.

    The results arrived and they said that the results were ok and i would just need to meet with an Auditor. I was led to a very small room and told to sit at the table. I had seen an E-meter before and knew the process. I was asked a series of questions about the exam and weather i answered the questioner truthfully.This was all fine. When i returned to the lobby my cousin said that i would need to complete a project prepare.

    I was told i needed to sign a billion year contract as a "token" of my dedication and that everyone just did it. I was led to believe that it was meaning less anyways and at the time did not know the consequences as a result of my defection.

    I was told that i would need to complete a number of courses at my own expense to complete this. They said i was to call my mum and tell her i need her to pay for one of the courses and it was really important. I was drilled through the entire process prior to calling her and actively coached the entire way through it. I felt a bit weird doing this as i had never asked for big sums of money like that before. I completed my next course in my project prepare fairly quickly it was the Ups & Downs Course ( A course designed to help you improve you outlook on life and deal with any situation). Part of this course was writing down all your Overs and Omissions that you have ever done. This is wear the truth came out.

    As part of this process i was again audited and asked a very long series of questions.Some were very disgusting like had i had sex with children or animals i was disgusted that they would even ask that questions... then in amongst all theses filthy things they ask have you had sex with another male . The e-meter reacted. I had been outed. My worst nightmare was about to come true. None of my family at this point knew i was gay.

    The Auditor quickly left the room and after about 40 minuets of sitting alone in the room a lady walked in and said I had to go to ethics and we would "handle" the homosexual situation. I was then led to Ethics and told to study a booklet "The way to Happiness" i had to word clear (look up the meaning of every work contained in the booklet) and i had to memorize the meanings and the entire booklet and i would be tested. This took me almost a week. During this time i was spending 8-10 hours a day in ethics and then taken to an apartment close by and audited away from the church by a special auditor to handle the gay topic. This involved the auditor demanding specific, detailed and very private information out of in of my sexual experiences with men and other various aspects of my life. This would go on for anywhere between 7-10hours a night. After i completed that course i was going to be put to work with the e-meter doing free personality test on the street.. However a PTS (Potential Trouble Source) situation occurred where a friend reported that he was concerned i was being held against my will.

    I was coached by 2 handlers how to handle the police and i was told exactly what to say over and over and there were sever punishments for not following what you are being told.

    I was sleep deprived and violated by these questions. I was also given a status of "Non Exsistance" by the church as well. This meant that no one could look at me or speak to me because they believed that homosexuality is a contagious disease. I was victimized and abused about my sexuality in that apparent and it still scares me to this day. I wanted to help save the planet so bad and be with my cousin to look after her. But my ice was wearing thin..

    The final straw came when the Church some how found out i had regained contact with the mother of my child and i was told to instantly disconnect from her because "What type of woman would want to have a child with a poof.. She must be an SP". She was the only contact that i had still to the outside world. And that pissed me right off. I remained calm because i knew that i had to be smart to get out.

    I snuck out to the tree where i had my mobile phone hidden that night and made a distraught phone call to her. Come and rescue me please. She said she would meet me tomorrow at this time. The plan was set.

    The next night i tried to organised all my stuff together and pretended to go to sleep with everyone else. I got up about 4am and started to sneak off i tried to grab all my stuff but before i could someone woke up and noticed i was running. He chased after me i had to drop most of my belongings and got in her car and left. I had finally escaped.

    I share this story as i believe it shows you that the Church of Scientology's total disregard for Human Rights and their attitude towards homosexuals. There is so much more that happened and i will share those stories when the time is right. This shows how ruthless the cult is and will take advantage of their control over you the second they have it.

    Please feel free to support this facebook group or share with any people that you think would support this cause.
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2010
  2. RogerB

    RogerB Crusader

    Welcome to ESMB, Imnot.

    What I find particularly alarming in your story is the manipulative control the CofS now uses on people. Also we see this continuing theme of acts by that group to inhibit or deny freedom of choice and freedom of movement of its members . . . . . for Chrissakes, you had someone chasing you to prevent you from doing what you wanted to do!

    Like, ummm, had he succeeded that would have amounted to kidnapping!

    The place has become totally loony . . . .

  3. skydog

    skydog Patron Meritorious

    Welcome Imnot. Another friggin Aussie:omg:
  4. Cherished

    Cherished Silver Meritorious Patron

    <3 you, INAA.

    I remember you telling part of your story previously. I'm sorry you went through that horrible treatment. How many different people were involved in trying help you "handle" being gay? Do you recall?
  5. AnonyMary

    AnonyMary Formerly Fooled - Finally Free

    Sorry to read about your troubles,
    I have never heard of the church giving a nontrained person an emeter to use on the street, much less in the org. Especially a new one the church considers out-ethics and PTS. Could you elaborate?

    Mary McConnell
  6. Alanzo

    Alanzo Sponsor

    Welcome Imnotafraidanymore -

    Your nickname on this message board is the name of the product we are all trying to create on Scientologists.
  7. AnonSunshine

    AnonSunshine Patron with Honors

    Welcome to the Board Iamnotafraidanymore. :happydance:
    I am glad you found this board. I understand you, am very happy you found the truth about this awful cult, and left. Hugs to you!
    :party::party::party::party::party::party::party: :party: :party:
  8. Lurker5

    Lurker5 Gold Meritorious Patron


    Welcome, Not Afraid. How long were you in? You were smart, got out, and did good with the escape. Hiding cell phone in tree outside - brilliant, :lol:.

    The co$ is hideous. Welcome home :thumbsup:
  9. Panda Termint

    Panda Termint Cabal Of One

  10. byte301

    byte301 Crusader

    Wow. So now they think homosexuality is catching? And they would have a person disconnect from their child and the mother for something like that?

    They never fail to make me rage.

    So glad you got out, notafraid. You were really smart to see the handwriting on the wall and run like hell.:yes:
  11. MrNobody

    MrNobody Who needs merits?

    Hi imnotafraidanymore,

    So let's see if I get this right...
    Basically they punish you for having done something heterosexual? :D

    Oh well, I'm glad that you, your child, and it's mother are out here in the real world, where you can have contact to your child whenever you want to.

    I'm sure it'll be fun to see it grow up and teach it a thing or two every now and then. :thumbsup:
  12. Smilla

    Smilla Ordinary Human

    Welcome to the big beautiful world outside Scientology where your sexuality belongs to you and does not require approval from anyone. Glad you're here :)
  13. thetanic

    thetanic Gold Meritorious Patron

    I'm glad your out, both owning your sexuality and out of an organization that represses alternative lifestyles.
  14. Outethicsofficer

    Outethicsofficer Silver Meritorious Patron

    Hi Iamnotaffraidanymore,

    Thanks for having the courage to put more of your story up...good on you! I know how hard it has been for you over the years and I have been witness to some of that hardship, your post raises a strong point in relation to discrimination and in particular discrimination of persons with sexual preferences not considered to be the 'norm'.

    I recall well what LRH wrote about homosexuality and just where that sat as far as he was concerned, go to any pre 2007 version of Science of Survival to find what he said. He has said more in other texts too.

    If Scientology achieved ever it's aims of world domination those of a sexual disposition not considered to be 'normal' had better watch out. Extermination is indicated. Oh they (the church) have made the texts, the basic books reflect a more politically correct view. BUT THEY STILL HOLD HUBBARD'S ABHORRENCE OF HOMOSEXUALS AS SENIOR.

    Look at the treatment of Michael Pattinson at the hands of the church!

    This link may have been put up some time before but it is well worth revisiting:

    Iamnotaffraidanymore was lucky to have escaped their clutches.

    Last edited: Mar 30, 2010
  15. Thank you all so much for you support. It was difficult forcing myself to write what happend down. I stuggled to believe that this could happen and that they would treat people like this before they had even been fully accepted into the Sea Org. I honestly believe they were never going to let me join and just had the aim of destroying me as a person.
  16. There was only 2 people involved in this both lived in the appartment that i was lodged at. It was not even correct auditing as the session was not set up in a way that followed the tech.

    I was given a 5-10minuite go over of the e-meter which basically consits of when someone says something that you think is their ruin then bump this dial untill the needle flips and show them their ruin.... Disgusting actions.. As for the PTS situation i was quickly moved from doing this as soon as the situation occured..
  17. Smilla

    Smilla Ordinary Human

    Michael is a very nice person and a true gentleman.
  18. Smurf

    Smurf Gold Meritorious SP

    Thank you for your story. As a gay man myself, I've received numerous emails and letters from others in the gay & lesbian community that had experienced heartache, abuse & disconnection as a result of being gay.

    The cult has shamelessly coordinated PR efforts to give the impression that it does not discriminate against gays and has succeeded in luring more & more people from that community into the cult. Only after one has spent thousands of dollars are they brought to the realization that Scientology is aggressively anit-gay.

    Two of the 2nd generation Scientologists that have cultivated this false PR is
    Greg Churilov, who claims Scientology "cured" him of his homosexuality, and Keith Relkin who interviewed with a gay magazine claiming to be a happy, openly gay Scientologist.

    Keith Relkin started a gay Scientologist support group in 2006 called "Clear Rainbow", which was formed "for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transsexual Scientologists and their friends." One of the "friends" of the group was Rex Fowler, OT VII, (awaiting trial on 1st degree murder charges in Colorado) who posted as "OT Cowboy".

    Relkin claims he had the permission of his superiors to form the group and a Yahoo! group. However, when Miscavige learned of this, Clear Rainbow was disbanded and Relkin was admonished, leading him to blow Scientology, and be disconnected from his family.

    He has since returned to Scientology and has remained totally silent about his being gay or outreach to "gay" Scientologists. A friend who knows Keith & his family told me Keith is, allegedly, undergoing processing to cure him of his HIV.
  19. Arthur Dent

    Arthur Dent Silver Meritorious Patron

    I had to call my grandfather long distance so I had to pay for the call in a phone booth outside with flanked by two regges priming me on what to say. I'm glad he said no. :duh: If anyone did this to my kids I'd break their arms off and beat them over their heads with them! This course of manipulation from the earliest point on "the bridge" is amazing.

    Sorry you had such an abusive experience, Imnotafraid, for being gay.
    It's not right at all. :ohmy:

    But for the record, we have all been abused on one issue or another and most likely had our human rights violated. I know I did. Big time. So, we understand!

    Glad you are telling your story so others can see the farce and evil! It is so very valuable! :thumbsup:
  20. Smilla

    Smilla Ordinary Human

    You are made of strong stuff, much stronger than those who tried to harm you.