So good when it's bad......

Discussion in 'Leaving Scientology' started by jase12321, Dec 21, 2009.

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  1. jase12321

    jase12321 Banned

    After many attempts at leaving Scientology behind, and moving on, I continually find myself enraptured, engaged and deep inside...

    12 months ago I threw out all my scientology books etc.
    Here I am 12 months later, I've re-bought all the books and lectures. And more..... I've just paid my annual IAS fees, and contributed to a Global Dissem project. I've arranged to do drills with staff to "deflect" criticism.

    I've just read "blown for good", and am busy reading "billion year contract", but that's on the side of LRH's intro to ethics, and a div 6 course....

    Why can't I pull myself away?? I've read about other people's horror stories. But never experienced them myself.

    I love Scientology and have heaps of fun studying. Yet I feel something "lurking beneath". I'm here on this forum aren't I??

    Does anyone here feel the same?? I don't want to wake up years later, broke, disconnected and "blown for good". But I'm not ready to give it up ... I enjoy the books, the lectures.

    Any advice for a young mind??
  2. degraded being

    degraded being Sponsor

    Advice: Trust your spiritual advisers with your dilemma.
    Ask your course supervisor.
    Ask your Ethics Officer.
    Sit in the waiting area of the HGC and ask the PCs.
    Ask the other students on course.
    Ask the ED.
    Ask the HCO SEC.
    Don't ask us.
    We'all just a bunch o' downstat nattery bloody SPs.
  3. AngeloV

    AngeloV Gold Meritorious Patron


    I kept all of my books and red volumes for ten years after getting out and often opened them up and read them. I attribute this to wishful thinking and trying to get back the feeling of belonging to something 'bigger'. Other people's stories will not pull you out as much as you really examining the data and coming to your own conclusions as to its validity. There are several places on the web that critically examine the 'tech'. Use Google to find them and they may help you with your evaluation. (yes, it's ok to evaluate!).

    I believe that some of the basic dianetic auditing could be helpful. Everything else, well you'll have to draw your own conclusions. Good luck.
  4. Div6

    Div6 Crusader

    1. Be true to yourself.
    2. Do not let anyone\thing else become the gatekeeper to your mind.
    3. If some one says you should reach less, is it out of true concern for your well-being, or is it merely an attempt to control?
    4. Never stop learning.
  5. jase12321

    jase12321 Banned

    Thanks Angelo, I can definitely relate to the 'belonging to something bigger'.
  6. Papabear

    Papabear Patron

    Jase, Truth is hard to get to without viewing both sides of the coin. It's good to look everywhere for truth, just don't get locked into absolutes. Every time I thought I had it figured out life has changed (well, I did) and everything went topsy-turvy.

    As I have gotten older (40 now) I find myself in current situations reminiscent of earlier ones and can chart a course through them with success for the most part. Wise man say "Good judgment comes from experience and experience, well, that comes from bad judgment."

    I would recommend they study of cults, hypnosis and religion in general. Here are some interesting bits to watch.

    There's nothing wrong with gaining knowledge, particularly about yourself. How can you do that but by living as you see fit? :thumbsup:

    Hope that helps you.

  7. nozeno

    nozeno Gold Meritorious Patron

    Do you want to buy some real estate in Florida?

    Give me a call.
  8. Reasonable

    Reasonable Silver Meritorious Patron

    I like some of scientology too. When actually applied it can be helpful.

    BUT why not get auditing outside the church it is sooo much better and cheeper. The best auditors have left the church.

    You can still read books outside the church.
    You can still train.

    You can form your own groups like it was done in the 60's and 70's

    Do you want to give money to a group that uses slave labor , violence, mind control and prison camps? Sure people do willingly sign up for it but the fact is there are weak minded people who can be manipulated and the church takes advantage of these people.

    I think if you like scientology then apply scientology. And if you actually APPLIED scientology you could not support the church of scientology.
  9. Zinjifar

    Zinjifar Banned

    If you try to apply KSW don't be surprised if people look askance at you. A longer jail term might also be in the offing.

  10. NeXTep

    NeXTep Patron with Honors

    Don't worry you'll get your wake-up call sooner or later. Just recognize it when it comes (it is "lurking beneath"), don't try to deny it, the longer you deny it the more nightmarish it will become. :eyeroll:
  11. GoNuclear

    GoNuclear Gold Meritorious Patron

    A bad habbit ...

    It's just a bad habbit, and an expensive one at that. It reminds me of all of the trouble I have had quitting smoking. On the one hand, after not smoking for, say, half a year or so, that very first cigarette sure is great, particularly after a big meal. And for me, there is this mystique about the pack of unfiltered Camels ... I just like the picture, playing with the pack, the scent of the tobacco. Then again, I really enjoy coctailing with a Camel (packing the front end with marijuana). But, after a few packs, I am stuck with the habbit again, my clothes and fingers smell foul, I have shortness of breath, my breath stinks, etc. It's just a miserable, rotten, stinky habbit that needs breaking, and there is the fear of breaking the habbit, knowing that upon quitting I can expect a few days of misery. But, then I nerve myself up, pitch the pack that I am on, and just say phuggit, thats it. I can endure any misery associated with smoking, although it makes taking the nagging the wife dishes out particularly hard to deal with.

    This time though, instead of telling myself that I will never smoke again ... and I haven't smoked now for almost two months ... I will allow myself a few packs next year between Thanksgiving and New Years PROVIDED I make certain objectives with the gym, weight loss, health habbits, etc... then I will allow a few packs next year, a smoking season of no more than 5 weeks.

    Quitting Scientology is easier than quitting smoking ... no withdrawal symptoms! If you want to commit to quitting Scientology, why not start by smoking a few joints? If you still want to go back, perhaps you could allow yourself a few weeks during the Holiday season of auditing yourself on book and bottle torture.

  12. Dulloldfart

    Dulloldfart Squirrel Extraordinaire

    For real? How many people do you know that can do that? I know one guy who has a couple of cigarettes a year, and that's it. It's not a problem for him. But I know of so many people who "gave it up" for a few days or weeks or months or years, then figured they were on top of it, and "one cigarette won't hurt", and a week later they're back to a pack (or two) a day.

    I smoked for ten years. I stopped around 1982. I haven't dared take one puff since then. Every now and then the idea of a cigarette is attractive to me. I figure that giving it up is a continuous action that one does in the present — it is not something one does at a discrete point in time and then that's it, done deal.

  13. Voltaire's Child

    Voltaire's Child Fool on the Hill

    Leaving Scientology behind and leaving CofS behind are not necessarily the same things. There are people who do both and there are people who only do the latter. If you like Scn tech, there's the independent and Free Zone venues. And not all of them are tech purists, some of them are firmly in the pick and choose mindset which, IMO, is a good one. All of life is a matter of degree and there's no ology that's 100% true or false, I don't believe.
  14. Terril park

    Terril park Sponsor

    A key point is that the subject, philosophy of scientology, is different to

    " Reasonable" made some good points.


    "I've arranged to do drills with staff to "deflect" criticism. "

    Whats that about? Never heard of it in 4 decades.
  15. Panda Termint

    Panda Termint Cabal Of One

    Jase has his job to do, we have ours.
    It's just a game to Jase (and not a fair one).
  16. jase12321

    jase12321 Banned

    it would just be drilling scenarios based on the lecture "contact with the public" 1954.

    It's learning how to deal with criticism of LRH and Scn. By attacking or misdirecting. And not letting it enturbulate you.
  17. thetanic

    thetanic Gold Meritorious Patron

    Just so you know, IAS money is specifically used to suppress people here, on, and also people posting on alt.religion.scientology. Global dissem money may be also.

    People are being followed by private investigators, having their communications cut, being manipulated to stay or disconnect from family. That's happening to people right here, right now.

    That's what the "war chest" is all about.

    So -- thanks. NOT.

    On the other hand, if you love the subject (and many here do), please do it in the Free Zone. If you think Scientology knows what its doing these days, please read, especially the section on What Happened To Training.
  18. Good twin

    Good twin Floater

    Do you have real estate in Florida Noz? Or are you selling mine?
  19. EP - Ethics Particle

    EP - Ethics Particle Gold Meritorious Patron

    Oatey Ability...

    To attack:confused2:

    or misdirect:confused2:

    Without knowing the actual facts? :unsure:

    And not letting THAT "enturbulate" you? :duh:

    Man (or girl), you are SERIOUSLY F'd up! :melodramatic:

  20. Type4_PTS

    Type4_PTS Diamond Invictus SP

    By doing these drills with staff you're doing them a huge disservice, and assisting them to set aside their personal integrity. :ohmy:

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