The Joy of X

Discussion in 'Leaving Scientology' started by Good twin, Jul 23, 2008.

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  1. Good twin

    Good twin Floater

    I just have a bit to say about my continuing evolution. As most of you know I just got back from the land of Exes otherwise known as Texas. It was an amazing journey.
    ImOut and her hubby took very good care of me. Their house is really a home. It's very cozy and safe and well lived in while still being orderly and lovely to look at with many comfy spaces to sit or lounge. I enjoyed that very much. I enjoyed the freedom of coexisting with people I care about and respect even though I have seen the goldenrod.
    I met a few other SPs and they were charming in the extreme. They asked that I fill them in on what I know about happenings in the church. I was happy to oblige. I met Tookmeawhile. He also was just fantastic. I found out more of his story and am very impressed with his bravery and resolve. His story is one that is heart wrenching and sheds some light on the cruelty and confusion of the church.
    I also met Alan. He was just completely Alan. The amazing thing about meeting Alan and spending time with him is he seemed so pleased to be with us. I mean he just seemed to really enjoy our company. He and his staff are all so fun to be with. I can hang out with squirrels and feel completely comfortable. I fit right in.
    The ranch is an amazing space. tExas is just amazing wide open space. You can just look and reach with your perception further than I have had the opportunity to anywhere else.
    I also read some of Alan's books, and the ones I got are just what I needed. They help unravel some of the mysteries of Scientology. There have been unanswered questions for me. Since leaving last November it has been easier for me to just "throw the baby out with the bathwater" than to try to sort out any remnants of spiritual truth. But there is no denying that while in Scientology and especially in the first decade or so something did happen. Something was attained and if it only be brainwashing it still needs to be looked at and sifted through. So I am looking. It is another new freedom of mine.
    I also went to visit my sister. (not in Texas) She didn't know that I am out. I wanted to tell her in person. It was wonderful. She didn't give me the "Oh, thank God you finally woke up" reaction. She just listened and nodded and said "I hope you don't feel like you wasted your life on Scientology, because I really believe that you did a lot of good". "You helped people and you really tried to do the best you can to help mankind. I really respect you for that and I understand that it went bad and didn't turn out the way you had hoped. Sometimes a good idea just runs it course and sometimes good people get used for bad purposes, but still accomplish some good. You did good and now it's time to move on and try something new."
    She was there for me.
    I'm going to be okay. I can still try to save the world. Or not. I can be the good twin or the evil twin. I may not have total freedom, but I sure feel liberated.
    :happydance:
     
  2. Terril park

    Terril park Sponsor

    Give sis some kisses from me. :)
     
  3. Good twin

    Good twin Floater

    Thank you Terril. Done.:yes:
     
  4. FinallyMe

    FinallyMe Silver Meritorious Patron

    Oh, wow!

    GT, this is SUCH a good story! As you were talking, you got across the visual AND the feeling of tExas, Alan, IO and the others. I have to think that you could only have gotten that across if you totally felt content, relaxed, free, happy, loved, welcomed, etc. etc. I am SO glad that you got to experience that with your very good friend(s) and came away with the great joy of that experience!

    And I'm completely impressed with your sister's response! You have definitely got some loving people around you, who clearly love you! Good job, GT, you're making it!
     
  5. Good twin

    Good twin Floater

    Thank you. I do feel very blessed.:yes:
     
  6. Kathy (ImOut)

    Kathy (ImOut) Gold Meritorious Patron

    GT, I'm glad you liked my house. I was hoping that people would feel comfortable here. Now I know at least you did.

    Hopefully we'll have a pool table the next time you visit, to fill up that big empty space called a living room. It's on the list of things to purchase. It's so fun to be able to spend money and not feel "guilty" that I should be paying for my next service. :happydance:

    Hey, speaking of that Goldenrod, I still want a copy.:p
     
  7. Good twin

    Good twin Floater

    Yes and okay and it's on my list.:yes:
     
  8. Kathy (ImOut)

    Kathy (ImOut) Gold Meritorious Patron

    Try to get husband's also. You know how badly he wants to frame his. I'll frame mine also. :p

    Then we'll be able to have a true party. No party unless you have your goldenrod around here. You know how picky our SP friends are. LOL!!! We only got ack'd for our letters informing us we were declared. We want a party with caek.
     
  9. Tanstaafl

    Tanstaafl Crusader

    Good work GT! :thumbsup:
     
  10. sallydannce

    sallydannce Gold Meritorious Patron

    GT, what a beautiful account of you experiencing your new freedom. Thank you for sharing. Really.

    Your sister sure is one of the world's wonderful blessings.

    You have made me smile GT. Thank you! :)
     
  11. Pixie

    Pixie Crusader

    Yes GT, you are so very very blessed to have such an understanding sister. That was a great story, and may the rest of your life more than make up for all you went through in the cult. :yes: I wish you continued happiness and freedom. :yes:
     
  12. Free to shine

    Free to shine Shiny & Free

    Terrific GT, thanks for sharing!
     
  13. Good twin

    Good twin Floater

    Thank you Tansy, Sallydannce, Countess, and FTS. Watching others grow is my inspiration. You ALL have been a huge part of my successful escape.:coolwink:
    I expect to continue to change. Thanks to this forum I look forward to that change with delight. :thumbsup:
     
  14. Pixie

    Pixie Crusader

    Countess! .. :bigcry: ..... thank you.. :hug:
     
  15. Good twin

    Good twin Floater

    But of course. Pixie, you becoming the Goddess and then the Countess were actually just small steps in YOUR evolution. You have changed so very much in such a short period of time. That is something! I was in for over 30 years. I was really scared that I would spend the rest of my life "getting over it". Now I see that change is not only possible, it is inevitable. And "getting over it" ain't a bad state of mind, if you have great friends to stand by you. So Thank YOU!:yes:
     
  16. Tanstaafl

    Tanstaafl Crusader

    I like your style, GT. Good philosophy. :yes:
     
  17. Pixie

    Pixie Crusader

    Wow GT, that is some insight you've gained there, how very beautiful.. oh.. here goes again.. :bigcry: almost every post I'm reading today is leaving me like this!.. :eyeroll: I guess it's perhaps just some sort of pain residue coming out.

    Thank you so very very much for that acknowledgement, I agree, and I can't pretend it isn't happening because it really is happening so fast. I was for sure so full of anger, guilt, rage, frustration, depression.... when I first came to this board for sure, and now it really has subsided so much that when it comes up again but much less, I can think straight and handle it instead of going into some crazy blind rage.

    I do feel we are all evolving though GT, and it's really wonderful, and yes, we are all of us so very lucky to have such beautiful supportive people here. :yes:

    Now, right back at you GT.. THANK YOU!!! :hug: :kiss: :heartflower:
     
  18. EP - Ethics Particle

    EP - Ethics Particle Gold Meritorious Patron

    What little I have to offer...

    Good Twin, this shines!

    I'm tryin' to think what I might have carried to the party to share that everybody woulda enjoyed. Something unique-like...know what I mean?

    Well, being raised in a neighboring state, and bein' right familar with how folks do. I come up with this idea if yawl have any interest.

    In my possession is the original recipie for Frog Parker's Barbecue sauce which ol' Frog himself only gave to one or two special friends in the whole region. Frog was sorta old when I was a boy and had been a special huntin' and fishin' buddy of my Grandpappy who died too young in '43.....

    Oh well, I just runnin' too long here...

    I know how to build the pit on the ground too - what wood to use...Boston Butts, Spare Ribs, Split Chickens and for the kids, hot dogs and hamburger...an all day affair fer sure!

    Anyone want the recipie?

    Freedom! Wallow in it!

    Love,

    EP
     
  19. Wisened One

    Wisened One Crusader

    Glad you had fun at the Ranch and staying with your friends and making new ones! I, too, would love to know more of tookmeawhile's stories, soon.

    And what a wonderful thing your sister said to you!

    :bighug:
     
  20. Kathy (ImOut)

    Kathy (ImOut) Gold Meritorious Patron

    He told me he'll be posting more of his story soon. Just writing it all up.

    Tookmeawhile, I hope it's OK I let people know you're working on your story? You have an audience waiting for you.
     

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