Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

Discussion in 'Evaluating and Criticising Scientology' started by HelluvaHoax!, Apr 25, 2017.

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  1. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

    .

    Two (2) new definitions, from the Dianetic Dinky DB Dictionary (un-Bridged edition).

    Scientologist In Good Standing - noun: 1. A Scientologist who has unutilized credit card limits and/or com lines to power terminals that might loan them money. 2. An ideal Scientologist who is loyal and obedient under severe pressure. (e.g. Mary Sue insouciantly laughing with a mocking sneer, while they were taking her away in handcuffs, defiantly screaming: "...you commies can throw me in federal prison all you want, but you'll never catch Mankind's Greatest Friend with his advanced HideTechtm!")

    Scientologist In Good Standing Ovation - noun: 1. A Scientologist at an event who can obnose and instantly respond without com lag to a Scientology leader's demand-cues for agreement & admiration.

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    Last edited: Mar 13, 2018
  2. Karen#1

    Karen#1 Gold Meritorious Patron


    The most MOMENTOUS moment in History beautifully portrayed !
    From Scientolgy Media Productions ! LOL


     
  3. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

    LOL

    That video was nearly as absurd as Scientology itself.



    WHY SCIENTOLOGY'S CCC-TV (CABLE CULT COOLAID) IS DOOMED TO FAIL.

    1. Because if Scientology tries to assert the message that it's a "religion"---why then does it cost over a half million dollars to believe in and have faith in it?

    2. Because if Scientology also tries to assert the message that it's a "science" with a "technology" that always, observably & provably "works"---why then do they very un-scientifically contradict themselves (and un-religously lie) by claiming that it's a religion?

    3. Because the public intensely dislikes long-form infomercials and loves something that is the diametric opposite of Scientology--Reality TV.

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    Last edited: Mar 17, 2018
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  4. Enthetan

    Enthetan Master of Disaster

    He's not being inconsistent, any more than Hollywood celebrities are being inconsistent by being "against guns" while having armed security.

    He is against people who might oppose him, or whom he might want to attack having guns to defend themselves with. As such, he is being very consistent.

    Regarding that Flag Order about "Judo and small arms training", I remember it from the Missionaire 3rd Class course, but I recall the wording as being that "Judo and weapons training" should be part of Sea Org training. "Weapons" would include knives as well as firearms. There was a point when I was at Flag Bureaux when Sea Org officers were awarded daggers as a merit prize.
     
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  5. guanoloco

    guanoloco As-Wased

    Scientology: in a state of perpetual war.

    Battleplans
    War chests
    Enemy
    Treason
    Enemy line
    Black hats
    Play for blood
    Mad dash over the ramparts
    Pink legs
    Navy military costumes
    Loyal officers
    Drills
     
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  6. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

    You may well be right, but my File Clerk insists that it's "small arms". LOL

    Hopefully, the Commodore's Flag Order will be posted by one of ESMB's resident scholar-historians---and then one of us will appropriately spend a month inside a chain locker, for intentionally squirreling Dr. Hubbard's technology and thereby sabotaging mankind's only hope.

    The term "weapons training" is always such lovely religious thing to see in a church like the COS (Church Of Sanctimoniousness).

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    Last edited: Mar 17, 2018
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  7. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

    .
    she's fully "hatted" and armed,
    she's a spiritual guide & scientifically religious--
    SCIENTOLOGY MINISTER

    [​IMG]

    " Hey, don't worry about my sword. . .
    It's a religious artifact to encourage the blessing
    of spiritual cleansing thru fucking confessions."


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  8. Enthetan

    Enthetan Master of Disaster

    I decided to go look. Misc Flag Orders pdf has on page 18 ( FO 228, Purpose of the Sea Org, Character of Missions) :
    Training​
    All Sea Org personnel must be trained in mission duties, must have an Org Exec Course with Ethics Star Rated, must have training in Judo and weaponry, all in addition to their own duties.​

    A religious order with a mandate to be trained in combat. Then again, it's not like it doesn't have precedence, from the Knights Templar, the Shaolin Monks, and others.

    Hey, you never know when you might encounter an SP and get ordered to audit him using Process R2-45...
     
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  9. Enthetan

    Enthetan Master of Disaster

    On page 40 of the Misc Flag Order PDF I mentioned above is the FO 3905-1, forbidding SO members from getting pregnant, if anybody wants to see for himself. It's diabolical in construction.

    An SO member who "begets a child" is to be exiled to a small, non-expanding, distant (from SO orgs) org. Note the word "begets". If the child is not born, if she has an abortion, then it doesn't happen. So the SO member's seniors expend TREMENDOUS pressure on the woman to have an abortion, because otherwise they lose the SO member.
     
  10. Type4_PTS

    Type4_PTS Diamond Invictus SP

    Per this Flag Order you linked to the parents can possibly return to an SO Org once their child turns 6 years old, because at that age he's able to hold a post in a Cadet Org. :faceslap:
     
  11. lotus

    lotus autonomous rebellous

    although this order is circa 70's, I've known some of my friends in the cult, enrolling in the SO and this order was enforced to them because they got pregnant in 1995 +
    Thus when $cientologists say it was not applied, it's not rue; It was applied and still probably is.
    They were ordered to a class IV org till they could get rid of their parental responsibilities.

    We all know that having kids is not valuable , unless such little ''pts'' out-ethics things demanding care (time, attention, money) can contribute to the cult (slave kid labour), either holding a post or doing volunteer work.
     
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  12. JackStraw

    JackStraw Silver Meritorious Patron

    At the mission I worked at the OES (a 20-something young dude) had the responsibility for the mission computer system. As such he set up the weekly stats that were shown at each staff meeting.

    His spelling skills were somewhat lacking and we were presented with the Qual. Div. graph
    entitled "Fully Hated Staff Members". :dieslaughing:

    We (the rest of the staff) picked up on this error rather quickly and thoroughly enjoyed celebrating our fully hated staff members each week! :hifive::hysterical:

    This stayed in place for over a year if I recall correctly...

    Jack
     
  13. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

    .
    cross-posted from another thread
    ---


    Forbidden Cog Du Jour: In the history of Scientology's 67 years, not even one (1) single Scientologist has ever cognited on L. Ron Hubbard's Grade I end phenomena, for himself. Because if they had realized what we are about to reveal, they would have instantly ceased to be a Scientologist.

    Hubbard did, in fact, have the precise EP the Grade Chart requires in order to attest. . .


    "The ability to recognize the source
    of problems and make them vanish"

    However, Ron realized that spending so much time in session (introverted, while trying to handle the part of his case causing the problem of why society rejected, reviled and ridiculed him) was total DevT.

    That's when Ron rose above the source of his problems (people who committed the High Crime of catching on to his scam) and made them vanish---with disconnection, fear and Fair Game felonies.

    Despite the appearance that this is satire, it is quite literally the "ability attained" that Hubbard used his entire life as the greatest OT on this planet. If any Scientologist had attained the same OT ability, they would have instantly been declared an SP; or, alternately awarded a lucrative executive position within the Guardian's Office/OSA.

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  14. uncover

    uncover Gold Meritorious Patron

    Hmmmm..... do you mean by that his departure to "target 2" ? :cool:
    (source of problems = El Con Hubbard, make them vanish = remove him from this planet)
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    Last edited: Mar 19, 2018
  15. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

    I was packing up my gear in preparation of reporting to the Chain Locker, but then---just out of morbid fascination--I decided to take a look at that long-forgotten Flag Order.

    Holy Hell! I might get a reprieve yet!!! That was a 1979 issue written by warrant officer Maggie Butterworth, whoever that may be. It was "Authorized by AVC" on behalf of the "Board of Directors".

    The Flag Order I read had to be written no later than 1971 and it was written by Hubbard, if I recall. It did not have all that other information added.

    Admittedly, I am hanging by an unraveling thread, but there is still hope for me that someone will rush into my Com Ev with a Perry Mason moment, brandishing the original LRH Flag Order.

    Not that evidence was ever a factor in anyone's Com Ev! lol

    I hereby petition to be allowed to re-posted in Central Files until such time as there is a verified copy of that original Flag Order. I have completed the condition of Doubt and realized that my friends are pieces of paper and other inanimate MEST, or anyone/anything without a clipboard giving me harsh, haranguing r-factors to make it go right to get my stats up. LOL
     
  16. Churchill

    Churchill Gold Meritorious Patron

    Your explanation makes more sense than mine.
    I thought Hubbard used "begets" for purposes of religious cloaking.
     
  17. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

    I believe this "distant org" tech is something Ron originally may have intended for the child (not their parents). Considering that the most distant org is the encumbrance-free Target II, this would be entirely consistent with Dr. Hubbard's forced abortion scripture.

    For some reason, nobody ever comes back from Target II. Not even Ron. It must be totally Ideal and amazing there for everyone to want to stay.
     
  18. JackStraw

    JackStraw Silver Meritorious Patron

    Heeeeeyyyyyyyyy...waaaaaiiiitt a minute: Didn't LRH say that only HE was SOURCE?????!!!!!!....

    Ron is the source of all my problems!

    Since Ronnie cakked it in 1986, now I'm a Grade One Release!

    I'm moving up the chart! Since I left scn I became "free to communicate with anyone on any subject."

    I have been in the company of Class VIIIs and OT VIIIs and I was the ONLY one who could do that! They couldn't talk to SPs or other disaffected defrocked apostates--only I could!

    This is kind of hilarious...


    Jack
     
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  19. guanoloco

    guanoloco As-Wased

    OMG! Too funny!

    Leaving Scientology gives the EPs of the Grades!

    I once defined a Scientologist as "a being who no longer has his active mind".

    Here's the EPs of leaving Scientology!

    CLEAR A being who no longer has his reactive mind
    SOLO Freedom from dramatization and return of powers to act on own determinism
    GRADE 4 (Abilities) Moving out of fixed conditions and gaining abilities to do new things
    GRADE 3 (Upsets) Freedom from the upsets of the past and ability to face the future
    GRADE 2 (Overts and Withholds) Relief from the hostilities and sufferings of life
    GRADE 1 (Problems) Ability to recognize the source of problems and make them vanish
    GRADE 0 (Communication) Ability to communicate freely with anyone on any subject
    DIANETICS A healthy and happy human being
    ARC STRAIGHTWIRE Knows he/she won't get any worse
    OBJECTIVES In present time and able to control and put order in the environment
     
    Last edited: Mar 19, 2018
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  20. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor


    LOL

    FREE BONUS PRO-TIP FROM OT VIII BILLY BLOWDOWN

    Hey Billy! How many Scientologists does it take to moor a barge?

    BILLY: None. There is no need to moor barges, on this planet. This stable datum is further confirmed by the axiomatically self-evident fact that LRH did not write any policy about it.

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