Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

Discussion in 'Evaluating and Criticising Scientology' started by HelluvaHoax!, Apr 25, 2017.

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  1. DagwoodGum

    DagwoodGum Scientology - A Living Quicksand of Souls

    What I'd read somewhere in my various searches, to be as exact as possible, was a discussion of piles of poorly recorded LRH tapes that had to be salvaged by their branch that does that. Not having been in Sea Org, the name of that branch trained in video restoration I've forgotten. Supposedly in the restoration of the poorly recorded early (especially) LRH lectures derisive laughter, insults and more had to be edited out in the restoration process. As usual, I usually think that I'm the last to find out these things due to my long absence from the Scn scene, that most everyone already knows these things so I just keep reading and then go on to something else. Now I'm having trouble finding these references. I don't think they were on YouTube videos but I could be wrong about that. Anyone remember where that information came from. One of the many books that are out?
     
  2. DagwoodGum

    DagwoodGum Scientology - A Living Quicksand of Souls

    What I'd read somewhere in my various searches, to be as exact as possible, was a discussion of piles of poorly recorded LRH tapes that had to be salvaged by their branch that does that. Not having been in Sea Org, the name of that branch trained in video restoration I've forgotten. Supposedly in the restoration of the poorly recorded early (especially) LRH lectures derisive laughter, insults and more had to be edited out in the restoration process. As usual, I usually think that I'm the last to find out these things due to my long absence from the Scn scene, that most everyone already knows these things so I just keep reading and then go on to something else. Now I'm having trouble finding these references. I don't think they were on YouTube videos but I could be wrong about that. Anyone remember where that information came from? Maybe it's in one of the many books that are out?
     
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2018
  3. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

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    From another thread. . .

    ANSWER: Approximately 2.5% of the Scientologists are directly involved in the application of their advanced technology to "Clear" individuals. The other 97.5% of Scientolgists are directly involved in investigating, writing reports, condemning and torturing the 2.5% for sabotaging the technology and not completing the simple task of "Clearing the planet".

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  4. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

    Due to the overwhelming popular demand to learn more about our marvelously miraculous modern mental mind science, we are pleased to announce an all-new feature:

    WogsWannaknow!
    Non-Scientologists and other degraded beings are invited to send in their questions.
    QUESTION: "Scientology staff members always seem so busy and productive 16-20 hours a day, I am just wondering what they will all do once the planet is cleared?"
    ANSWER: Well, once the planet is cleared, we then have to take full responsibility to Clear the other planets, on this planet. After clearing all the planets, we still have to take full responsibility for salvaging this sector, on this planet. ​
    QUESTION: "Don't you people ever take time for yourself personally?"
    ANSWER: We often take breaks to sleep, feed our MEST bodies, make coffee and smoke. If our stats are up, we enjoy generous amounts of leisure time & vacations on Saturday morning from 9am-11am to take full responsibility for doing MEST laundry, on this planet. ​
    QUESTION: Yeah, but after the planet is clear and the sector is salvaged, what will you people do then?
    ANSWER: After Clearing all beings in this sector, we then have to write letters to all 76 quadrillion of them to get them back in to handle the false attest and ensure they redo their Bridge standardly. ​

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  5. guanoloco

    guanoloco As-Wased

    "Make coffee and smoke" OMFG!! Too funny!!
     
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  6. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

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    SCIENTOLOGY IN THEORY: The "Non-Existence Formula", wherein you succeed by beginning any relationship/business by asking the other person/customer: WHAT IS NEEDED AND WANTED? After which, you must then "deliver" to them what is needed and wanted.

    SCIENTOLOGY IN PRACTICE: Scientologists asks a wog WHAT IS NEEDED AND WANTED? And, no matter what the person answers, Scientology adamantly insists that what that individual "needs & wants" is to get rid of their reactive mind and go Clear. Scientology then immediately informs the person that Scientology "needs & wants" them to donate all of their time and all of their money to Scientology---and never question anything they are ordered to believe or to do.


    Summary: Scientology's core gimmick is to pretend to be interested in others by asking them what is bothering them. But Scientology is the science of "knowing how to know" so they are just making polite conversation---because they already KNOW what is ruining the person's life. Engrams. And after all the engrams are erased, Scientology still KNOWS what is running the person's life. Body Thetans. And when all the Body Thetans are blown, the knowing-how-to-know people still know what is ruining their life. Lack of money on account to buy sufficient auditing to discover the unhandled evil in their universe that is preventing the tech from working on them alone, while everyone else has so easily attained total freedom.

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  7. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

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    The real reason Scientologists are endlessly and ruthlessly drilled on TR3 & TR4---to train them to get an answer to this question:

    "I'll repeat the Total Freedom command. Where else can you find or borrow money
    to do your next auditing action so you don't immediately die and suffer for eternity?"

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  8. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

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    The real reason Scientologists are endlessly and ruthlessly drilled on TR-0.

    To train them to not react and "do nothing"--when Scientology steals decades of their life and all their money.

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    Last edited: Dec 10, 2018 at 1:35 AM
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  9. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

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    The real reason Scientologists are taught to stand and applaud a wall photo of the Commodore.

    Because it is an effective distraction that prevents Scientologists from wondering why their high-toned, total-cause OT leader was a mentally ill con man wearing a naval costume and exhibiting low-toned dramatizations like hiding in a Bluebird motorhome and unexpectedly attaining a highly advanced state of existence called dropping dead.

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  10. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

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    The real reason that Scientologists obsessively talk about their "wins" and miraculous "OT powers":

    Because they are not able to do it.
    Miracle workers demonstrate miracles. Cult members merely brag about miracles.

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  11. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

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    The real reason Scientology's movie stars also coincidentally happen to be their most advanced OTs:

    Because actors are the best at TR-1; to wit, taking the script line(s) written by Hubbard and "making it their own".
    And, then delivering it with sufficient authenticity/certainty that the listener is able to suspend their disbelief.

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    Last edited: Dec 10, 2018 at 3:00 AM
  12. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

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    The real reason the public fears & hates Scientology and chooses to believe the SPs rather than the totally ethical Execs, Clears & OTs that manage Scientology.

    Because the SPs ARE the totally ethical Execs, Clears & OTs who were just
    managing Scientology before blowing and becoming whistleblowers.

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  13. JackStraw

    JackStraw Silver Meritorious Patron

    No, no,no. OTs are superior to mere miracle workers. Miracle workers show off their abilities, while true OTs refrain form demonstrating their powers because it would enturbulate the lesser beings. "Don't go knocking hats off at 50 paces..."

    Remember the definition of Responsibility: Admit cause, able to withhold.

    It's the "able to withhold" that marks the true OT.

    Jack
     
  14. Operating DB

    Operating DB Truman Show Dropout

    Wow! Thanks. I had a crashing MU on that for decades. Thanks for clearing that up.
     
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  15. guanoloco

    guanoloco As-Wased

    That's right! That's right!

    I forgot this stupid...teaching people to be duplicitous and lie.

    Excellent!!
     
  16. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

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    From the book: (PAY OR)DIE-ANETICS: The Modern Seance of Mental Hoax
    Chapter: "Even A Broken Cult is Right Twice a Lifetime"
    AXIOM: All unwanted conditions & mental illness will instantly blow the exact moment one confronts the exact time,
    place, form and event that is the cause of human suffering.

    This axiom is in fact scientifically provable and true! The moment a Scientologist confronts the exact time, place, form and event of what Scientology actually is, they blow--at which moment their human suffering ends. Thereafter they are able to comfortably resume being a human without being invalidated, tortured & terrorized because they are not a supernaturally powerful Homo Novis donor.


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  17. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Gold Meritorious Sponsor

    ..

    Just in case anyone thought this was exaggerated cartoonish parody. . .

    (PAY OR)DIE-ANETICS: The Modern Seance of Mental Hoax
    Sorry, but that is exactly what Scientology is. A Seance.

    A muti-decade, lavishly expensive Seance, to be exact.

    The seance begins with a "Free Personality Test".

    The results of the test invariably show that 100% of humans need auditing that costs at least $500,000.

    And this auditing takes decades and there are many other huge expenses along the way (e.g. Scn hotel rooms, meals in Scn restaurants, mandatory purchases of books, e-meters, courses, IAS statuses, Ideal Org Donations, Reviews, Re-Dos of lower bridge due to "false attests", et al).

    But how is all this related to the "Modern Seance of Mental Hoax"? you may still be wondering. . .

    REASON: Because that is all that Scientology is. A seance wherein the spirits of dead people ("BTs") are contacted with the help of a "Medium" (auditor). These spirits are then communicated to in order to relieve the client of their pain, stress, suffering, problems and all manner of human difficulties.
    [​IMG]
    PRE-SCIENTOLOGY SEANCE
    Before Hubbard's monumental breakthrough, Seances were riddled with
    superstition and guesswork. The discovery of the e-meter raised seances from an
    occult ritual to a modern technology, wherein the presence of dead spirits can be scientifically
    verified with precise electronic confirmations. The e-meter is also able to diagnose the moment the harmful
    spirit departs as well as the exact moment the preclear needs to speak to a spiritual guide known as the Registrar.


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