When do the dreams stop?

Discussion in 'Life After Scientology' started by palehorse, Jan 18, 2016.

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  1. palehorse

    palehorse Patron

    Less than five years in scn; nearly 25 years out.

    I still have dreams. Last night, yet another dream where they caught up with me and told me I had to come back. I felt so defeated having thought I was free.

    Does it ever stop?
  2. JustSheila

    JustSheila Crusader

    A while ago, Mike Rinder and I had a long talk about the scn dreams (nightmares). His were still going on a few years later. They've pretty much stopped now.

    For me, I had an escaping dream and being caught when I was separated from my son and went back for him. That nightmare came up sporadically for years, but it got less and less frequent as time went on, and it changed, too.

    It stopped completely when I was absolutely sure my son had grown up well as an adult and had all the tools and education he needed and I knew he was going to be just fine. He is. :yes:
  3. WildKat

    WildKat Gold Meritorious Patron

    I still have the dreams but they don't bother me like they used to. The turning point came when I told them off in my dream without getting upset. Just let them have it, saying what I really think. I realized that's what I was willing to do in real life if confronted, and that attitude then showed up in the dreams.

    Of course it helps if the cult can't take anything away from you, as in disconnection. If you are worrying about being declared you will probably continue to have terrifying dreams, because they can still control you by fear. Once you have nothing to lose, you can let go of the fear of their power over you.

    This is easy for some, not so easy for others.
  4. Churchill

    Churchill Gold Meritorious Patron

    I began posting on ESMB two and a half years ago and in one of my very first posts I remember writing about my disturbing and frightening dreams.
    For me, the answer is yes, the dreams do, eventually stop.
  5. Operating DB

    Operating DB Truman Show Dropout

    I escaped in '85. Once in a blue moon I'll have a scio related dream but not a nightmare. The early dreams were about the immense frustration of not being able to complete the Class IV internship which in real life I never did complete because it was a Sisyphean task. In real life I escaped the cult without completing it and it bothered me that I had an incomplete cycle of action.

    The once in a blue moon dreams are more about the post fallout of declared staff and the independent field as it existed in the later 80's and me as if it was present time stealthily trying to distance myself from and not be associated with it.
  6. Ogsonofgroo

    Ogsonofgroo Crusader

    AFAICS dreams are just that, dreams, they are random compilations from all over, they do not control you, do not rule, going to the movies random brain style, a type of 'unloading' fer yer neuro network, but our conscience will often try and figure them out. As far as I am concerned, its pretty much 'back-ground' noise type of thingy. I think it ties into our capacity to imagine, and imagination is a wondrous thing, Iy, we have worlds to create, if one so wishes.

  7. Mest Lover

    Mest Lover Not Sea Org Qualified

    My nightmares of them convincing me somehow to return ended when i started posting here.
  8. Mimsey Borogrove

    Mimsey Borogrove Crusader

    Most of my scio dreams have stopped - but when I had a lot of them, they weren't nightmares, but were set in a college setting, though not like any college I have seen on earth, and I always thought of them as the college (RIT) I went to in reality - like they had a dual personality. My FSM Wendy Etricks was a frequent character, and Hubbard and other tech terminals, board I/cs, cramming officers had roles as well.

    Perhaps they stemmed from the hell I went through getting and staying on ot 7, the most traumatic part of my scientology experience.

    Currently, the closest dreams I have to nightmares, are symbolic of the rat race my business has me caught up in.

    So, yes, they do taper off.

  9. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on


    Haven't had one of those "OH NO! I'VE FALLEN BACK INTO THE CULT OF SCIENTOLOGY AND I CAN'T GET OUT!" dreams in ages.

    But two nights ago, for reasons completely unknown to me I woke up in the middle of a full blown "back in Scientology" dream.

    The essence of every Scientologist I was interacting with was that each was incessantly:



    That's it. They each were doing that thing that Hubbard lectured about--a trait that he most admired and wanted all Scientologists to manifest--the "willingness to invade another's space".

    And that's what Scientologists compulsively do--try to handle everyone and everything.

    It was so obnoxious in the dream, they were putting their cringy faces too close to mine and talking a mile a minute trying to fuck with me in some way to do what they wanted me to do. Or think the thought they wanted me to think.

    A few years ago I ran into a pretty well known OT and as soon as the conversation started they began with the "You know what you really need to do? You need to _________" They said it several time and, I surmise, expected to take over my life right at that moment. It was simply stunning to watch an OT at work. Know that this was just a casual, chance encounter on the street. They had no business with me and I had none with them for many years previous to that. But they felt quite obliged to begin "handling" me. I just stared at them in disbelief. The obnoxiousness of it. The stupidity of it.

    Well, whatever caused my sudden dream a couple nights ago, I have no idea. If I was a newbie OSA TROLL making my first post on OSA, I would tell my dream story and then ask:

    So, I am wondering if this is possibly God speaking to me in some way to tell me to go back into Scientology? Or are the OTs getting into my head and screwing with me? I have a feeling I should go back in the Sea Org just to check it out in case this is some kind of "sign" or "message" from more advanced beings. (and then the thread would go on for a thousand posts with people trying to "help" me to understand that I shouldn't go back in the Sea Org. LOLOLOL.
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2016
  10. palehorse

    palehorse Patron

    They are not nearly as frequent as they used to be, and usually they do not bother me so much. It probably is just random gobbledy-gook. I suppose it was Jon Atack's article on Tony's Underground Bunker that set it off, where he thought that most exes don't seem to recover. And then John P. Capitalist's eloquent reply that he supposed all it really took was time away. I certainly don't resent either opinion. I think I just happened to be in a melancholy mood, and I began to wonder.

    Thank you for listening and for your feedback. It was a great relief to wake up and find that I am many miles and many years away from that past.
  11. Mest Lover

    Mest Lover Not Sea Org Qualified

    Ancient astronaut theorists would suggest .....
  12. scooter

    scooter Gold Meritorious Patron

    I've been out now for over 7 years - in for almost 30 before that. I still have dreams about the cult. Usually the bits I remember are me trying to convince those still in of the folly of believing now, I'm free to come and go as I please.:yes:

    They come and go. Occasionally it's a nightmare but that's usually when I'm already not doing well/physically ill/stressed out badly. Then I'm stuck in and trying to escape.

    But I haven't had one like that for probably a year, and the last sciloon dream I had was several months ago (I think.) They come and go in batches I've found.

    It WAS my life for 30 years or more if you count the time I spent after leaving spending most of my waking life fighting it tooth and nail. And winning.:woohoo:

    Hubbard was right when He said that you can't erase a pleasure moment.:biggrin:
  13. Miss Ellie

    Miss Ellie Miss Ellie

    I don't remember ever having sciobot dreams but do remember having fear. The fear would come at odd moments... since I was an undercover outie for decades, until the rest of the family got out, I guess it had to do with the fear of having to pretend to believe again.

    I never told anyone I was out it just did not seem to come up. So the fear was wasted, I could have used that fear for something good...

    I have always had weird dreams.... but I guess the sciobots are not weird enough for me to even waste a dream on.

    For those that do have sciobot dreams... just turn your pillow over and dream a new dream.... and then go live it!

    :yes: :yes: :yes: :yes:
  14. Hypatia

    Hypatia Pagan

    I have only had a few. But, oddly,I do occasionally have omg-I'm-back-in-high-school-I'm-naked-and-I-haven't-studied-all-year-and-it's-exam-time dreams.
  15. I told you I was trouble

    I told you I was trouble Suspended animation

    I've had nightmares around once a month for around 25 years, so I was still officially in when they started (I wake up screaming the place down with my throat feeling ripped to shreds for about 24 hours afterwards) ... they always have the same vibe, I'm in pure panic due to losing my kids to "something" and not being able to find them and protect them, it's awful.

    They have eased right off in the last 2 or so years partly (I believe) because I've accepted that they are now adults and are OK and I've also accepted that I actually have lost them now (due to disconnection) ... that acceptance means I no longer have to be ready to fight for them, or so it seems.

    It's rare now that it happens but last month it happened twice on consecutive nights.

  16. I have never had nightmares that I was still in Scientology.

    Although I have had other Scientologists who are still in tell me that they have had nightmares that I was still in.

    Seriously though, I have had a few bad dreams about being back in.

    But they all centered around the feeling of frustration that I couldn't change any of the insanity or stupidity I ran across while in.

    There is also sometimes the theme that I've lost my freedom and was trapped.

    I think that when I have a bad dream about Scientology it is because there is something unresolved in my mind about the place.

    I seriously used to think that I failed as a Scientologist, that is, that I wanted to make the place run standardly but never could.

    It wasn't until I finally realized that the place is running like it is supposed to; it is meant to be the enslaving, soul draining place it is.

    Then I dream about chicks.

    The Anabaptist Jacques
  17. Hatshepsut

    Hatshepsut Crusader

    Last edited: Jan 18, 2016
  18. He-man

    He-man Troll under the bridge

    I suppose the dreams stop when you have resolved whatever it is that you are grinding in your head?

    I still dream of things that happened to me in Scientology but thankfully they aren't frequent anymore.
  19. Enthetan

    Enthetan Master of Disaster

    I don't have the dreams. That might be due to how I finally exited.

    I think it's therapeutic to, in real life, have them repeatedly come to your door to try to "handle" you, and being able to tell them "Get off my property!", and seeing them leave.
  20. Dulloldfart

    Dulloldfart Squirrel Extraordinaire

    I was in the SO for 23 years and have been out for 20 now. I often have dreams including the people and places and situations there, as in elsewhere in my life, but they're never nightmarish. Since I spent half of my adult life there it's not surprising to me that it still figures in my dreams.