You're The One Breaking Up The Family!

Discussion in 'Leaving Scientology' started by Papabear, Dec 23, 2009.

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  1. Papabear

    Papabear Patron

    So, when I was several months into my parents knowing I was leaving Scn, with them doing a handling there were some very surreal moments I thought I would share.

    The most bizarre had to be when my mother came to my house, (all the handlings had been at their house) walked right up to me and my wife and made the statement "You're the one breaking up the family!" pointing at me.
    Now, this shocked the hell out of me, as all I had been doing is living my life and answering their questions. It was not my fault their cult was paranoid! :confused2:

    So I repeat to her. "I'm breaking up the family?!" I was so pissed, I told her to get out. A few hours later I was still too pissed to go next door to talk to my dad, so the wife went. Wife looks at both of them, and dad says, "Mom here says Chris told her he was breaking up the family." :omg: Well, the wife sorted that out with the truth, thank you very much.

    What I figured out from that, was mom had been instructed (she's OT8) to make sure I knew I was breaking up the family, and then let everyone else know. So she used tone 40 intention or something. Anybody else get that treatment?

    Ok, the next one is also funny. Mom talks me and the wife to go out for breakfast, shortly before the above happens. We go to the Egg Platter on Hwy 19. The place is full of people. We get a table and just as we get our food (after all the small talk) mom says something like,

    "Chris, how can you be helped?"

    "Say what?" says I

    "How can you help others?" Mom replies

    "Mom, that's a help process, you're running a process on me." Says I, smiling
    Meanwhile the wife's jaw is on the table and she's speechless

    "No I'm not! How can you be helped?" is her only answer.

    I straighten up in my chair, almost tempted by my long term conditioning to play along, but it is overcome, thank god! "Mom, even LRH said the tech won't work if the PC doesn't agree to the session!"

    "How can you help others?" she asks again, like nothing had happened.

    "I'm not going to do this. Can we just eat please?" and she finally gives in. We eat our breakfast, and she cries on the way to the car. I hug her and try to reassure her that all is fine but it seems to have little effect.

    Again it seems someone ordered her to do this, but I can't say for sure. We had already been out over 2 years and that really helped to resist just towing the line.

    Ok, last one for now. Been talking to dad for a few hours. The conversation goes downhill and I can see he is getting upset, his TR's are out. I stand up and say, "well, I think that's enough, I'm going home, we can talk more later,"

    "Well, just remember, you're the one leaving!" dad says as I round the corner of his desk to get to the door behind him.

    "I know I'm the one leaving dad." I say, grasping the door handle and twisting it.

    "Yeah, well, you're the one leaving!" he repeats as I realize me must be referring to Leaving and Leaves, Overts, Blowing policies etc.

    "What are you saying? I need your authority to leave? That I have overts? I know I'm the one leaving!" I say hotly, losing my cool more quickly now.

    "Well, you're the one leaving!" again he says as we both stand in the hallway outside his office door.

    I get to within 3 inches of his face and I scream "I.KNOW.I.AM.The.ONE.LEAVING!" as loud as I can. I then turn around and walk to the back door through the Florida room where my mom tries to intercept but is too late.

    "What's happened?" she cries out.

    "You're handling didn't work!" I almost shouted

    "We're not trying to handle you!" she exclaims as I am shutting the door and walking home through the backyard path connecting our houses, steam rising from my ears. :grouch:

    Later she does admit they were trying to handle me. This occurred in the beginning, and I deeply regret loosing my cool. All I can say is I was under a lot of pressure as my timetable for leaving had been moved up, and I was having to stall for time while trying to remain honest.

    You see, I realized Scientology had made me into a liar, and I had decided as soon as I left Scn I wouldn't be a liar anymore. If anyone asked a direct question, I assumed they wanted and were ready to know, and I answered it honestly.

    This is how I got through the first 2 years. NO ONE asked me the direct question "Have you left Scientology?" I think it was because they really didn't want to know.

    As it turned out, the handling was really to get my dad back onto OT7. I was probably the antagonistic source on his lines, having refused free auditing from him, and telling stories of things like how we were ordered by the CO CMO EUS to abort our second son. Whoops! My bad! :whistling:

    Soooo, from their viewpoint, I was the one fucking the whole thing up as I was not responding like the tech says! What does that tell you?

    To be fair to my parents, they are really nice people trying to save this sector of the galaxy. Just about anyone who meets them likes them.

    My beef is they have known me my whole life, I was there in the SO and I saw things they never have, and it counted for nothing when I spoke out. So I feel like chopped liver and can only resort to speaking out on forums where perhaps, someday, they will listen.

    Also I eat chocolate and tell my story to anyone interested, but hardly anyone I meet even know what Scientology is! 10 million members, I think not!

    Anyway, that's it for now. I'm gonna go home and hug the wife, eat some lemon bars and cookies our daughter just made, and watch a movie.

    Love y'all! :yes:

    Chris aka Papabear
  2. Good twin

    Good twin Floater

    Thanks Chris. This is priceless. Funny and sad and bizarre and totally real.

    Your parents really are very nice people. I would love to be able to be friends again.

    Sleep well.
  3. Outethicsofficer

    Outethicsofficer Silver Meritorious Patron

    Do well

    Hi Chris,
    Hang in there mate, it is a process.
    Have a great Xmas.
  4. Alanzo

    Alanzo Banned

    I'm just going to put this here:

    Excuse me. but I have to ask this.

    The CO SMI EUS, who ordered you to abort your second son, was not Cary Goulston, was it?
  5. Good twin

    Good twin Floater

    He said CO CMO not CO SMI.
  6. Megalomaniac

    Megalomaniac Silver Meritorious Patron

    Yes. I'm not going to give much detail, but I had a very similar conversation. Basically, I was (quite forcefully) told I was preventing someone from going up the Bridge, because I was speaking out and attacking CoS. I totally disagreed and maintained my position that it was Scientology's own policies that were preventing that person from doing the Bridge.

    Whoa! Another story of coercing abortions. :grouch: Chris, have you formally, publicly told this story?
  7. Alanzo

    Alanzo Banned

    Last edited: Dec 23, 2009
  8. Happy Days

    Happy Days Silver Meritorious Patron

    Hi Chris

    I sympathise with you and your family... it's so terrible to be caught between a rock and a hard place.

    Having had calls from my daughter trying to 'handle me' and her father... not one person was really interested in what I wanted... how I felt ... where I wanted to be in my life... it was all designed to ensure Fiona and Wayne were not adversely affected, that it was all about them and their positions... so I also reacted...

    My daughter Fiona gave me the same proposition her father gave me 25 years ago... ' you either agree with Scientology and are on board or it's over' (shorten version)

    My thoughts and best wishes are with you and your family.

    Have a great Christmas and may 2010 be a fantastic year for you.
  9. Daisy

    Daisy Patron with Honors

    I know what you are going through. It has gotten a bit rougher now with our family situation.

    I hope you enjoy the holidays with your loved ones.
  10. Alanzo

    Alanzo Banned

    Chris -

    I've been where you are.

    It takes the courage that you are now displaying.

    I am very grateful to you for your courage, and I hope that you continue to be an example for others in your situation.

    My parents have died. And I was never able to reconcile everything that Scientology took from our relationships. The Church of Scientology did their best to see that never happened in my case.

    Please do not allow them to succeed in your case, or in anybody else's case who reads this board.

    Do not allow the Church of Scientology to break up your family. But if they are able to, temporarily, make sure that you overcome their efforts, and tell the world what they have done.

    In this holiday season, I wish you, and everyone else, the merriest possible of days.

    And know, that this, too, shall pass.

    Allen Stanfield
    Bloomington, IL
  11. Sai Ninja 2000

    Sai Ninja 2000 Patron with Honors

    chris, please post more stories from this point in time (if you so choose). i am currently going through the same thing.. battling with my family, being "the one between them and the church", its very frustrating.. reading your account of how things went for you is more helpful than you can being to imagine for me.
  12. because

    because Patron

    I total duplicacate you with regards to Cary G.
    Cary ran into me a few years back. I applied debug tech and data coincident tech. Wrote up what i found to Int. Mtg. he was recalled and shortly after declared. He returned eventually applied and did his A-E and is cleaned up no more dramatizing and is a public Scientologist the last I heard. I hope this helps.
  13. Alanzo

    Alanzo Banned

    Last edited: Dec 23, 2009
  14. HappyGirl

    HappyGirl Gold Meritorious Patron

    Papabear, you're not chopped liver.

    When we left, a niece (not really a blood relative, but for lack of a better term I’ll just say “niece”), who happened to be a NOTS C/S at AOLA sent her posse out to handle one or both of us. This was about 9pm at night. I was away at work, so my husband was home with another of niece’s aunts, a woman who was NOT me, and they were stoned out of their minds, when two SO women from AOLA knocked on our door and pulled out two legal size sheets of questions to ask him! Which he answered truthfully (“No, I won’t be doing any more Scientology. What would be the point?” etc.) He had a great time, a much better time than the poor SO ladies had, I’m sure. This resulted in the arrival in the post a couple of weeks later of a very sweet disconnection letter from Niece (her family had already disconnected from us). Oh, and then, my husband suddenly ended up in the hospital and The Family cancelled their disconnection from us and begged me for permission to visit him in ICU, which I gave. But that’s another story. :)
  15. thetanic

    thetanic Gold Meritorious Patron

    The disconnection stuff angers me so much, and it wasn't something that ever happened to me directly, except for disconnecting from Scns who were declared.
  16. Iknowtoomuch

    Iknowtoomuch Gold Meritorious Patron

    Funny how having a different opinion with your Scientology family is your fault....fault...LMFAO!
  17. Mark A. Baker

    Mark A. Baker Sponsor

    What? Your wife never pulled that one on you? :whistling:

    Mark a. Baker
  18. Markus

    Markus Silver Meritorious Patron

    Thank you for posting this - I really know what you are talking about - I know this forced handlings and this insane point of view of these true believers "if you don't accept this (Scientology nonsense) YOU are the one who is breaking up the family". My father is OT 8 too - so if people acting and behaving like this are the final product of this perfect "Technology "- I only say "thank you I don't need this crazy rubbish."

    Last edited: Dec 24, 2009
  19. dexter gelfand

    dexter gelfand Patron Meritorious

    Cary Goulsten

    Hi Alonzo and Because, I also knew Cary Goulsten. He was the guy who phoned me one day as I was operating my own mission to tell me that he was my "Senior" and was going to fly out to me to "help" me. He asked me how I wanted to pay for his plane fare. I said "I don't". He came out anyway, crashed my stats with his orders and activities, and I mean flatlined the place. Another S.O. missionaire showed up soon afterward, pursuant to my own reports on the situation, and wound up suggesting in a friendly manner that maybe I wasn't the right kind of person to be in this mission situation with Cary as my senior. I completely agreed, and happily vacated the area.

    Best, Dex
  20. Iknowtoomuch

    Iknowtoomuch Gold Meritorious Patron

    Exactly. Sad is the only word that comes to mind.

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