Scientology TV goes live tomorrow at 8 pm Eastern on app, DirecTV

[ILove2Lurk]

. . .

Too soon?* ​

While cooking dinner tonight, a question percolated up. If this TV network experiment
doesn't work out, and my money is on it not working out, how can DM possibly exit
the market gracefully? Especially after buying a whole studio and sinking so much
money into video production. I mean the cost of this whole "top-down marketing"
pilot project must be astronomical. And if he goes month after month without a
return on investment -- likely -- how does he face the whales and parishioners who
funded it all with their hard-earned dollars?

The whole project seems like a Hail Mary pass . . . since nothing else has worked or
is working. With ongoing, recurring monthly costs, you can't go on faking it month
after month. If this doesn't work, how will he exit gracefully? What next then? **

To me it seems like this could turn out to be his Bernie Madoff moment. Your current
pool of investors stops funding you and you can get in trouble fast. Like Madoff did.
His house of cards fell pretty quickly once the Ponzi scheme stopped self-funding
via current investors and began to unravel in an uncontrollable way. (I watched
the movie, LOL!)

The other side of the coin is that this TV experiment surprises everyone and booms
the COS. Unlikely, IMO, but could happen. (Albeit a 90-yard Hail Mary pass.)



* A phrase used by comics after touching on topics
that are still too sensitive for people to laugh about.

** A group of Sea Org executives could be trained
up to join Elon Musk's first expeditionary space
flights to Mars next year. It would be a risky mission
but imagine being on the vanguard of setting up
the first remote SO bases on another planet. Could
generate tens of millions in donations. Woo-hoo!

 

[programmer_guy]

The whole project seems like a Hail Mary pass

(That's U.S. football lingo.)
Yes, I agree!

 

[I told you I was trouble]

People have changed a lot in the last 20/30 years and gullible people (with or without money) are not that easy to find. We (critics in general) have put a lot of stuff out there for public viewing ... by doing this miscavige is virtually directing the public towards us so they can find out about the cofs from the people who really know the score.

I don't believe for a single, solitary moment that it will be a success ... I'm stunned and delighted that he actually went ahead and did it but about the only "win" miscavige will get is spinning/lying/announcing at the next event (with excessive, irritating fanfare) that (as Mike Rinder put it) "since we went to air three people every second are viewing" (or similar).

It looks to me as if that tight little bubble that miscavige lives in has finally cut his oxygen off and given him serious brain damage.

Good.

 

[lotus]

I just did a spot check on newspaper articles about $cientology TV

Here is the Guardian.com\worlds
And a few quotes:

Now we can see where those deluded millionaires are coming from

​

Actually, a programme list has been released; it includes Meet a Scientologist, Voices for Humanity and L Ron Hubbard: In His Own Voice. Great! Will the Hubbard series include his Affirmations, such as “Snakes are not dangerous to you. There are no snakes in the bottom of your bed” and “Masturbation does not injure or make insane. Your parents were in error. Everyone masturbates”?

​

But everyone does masturbate. Be quiet: I’m making fun of a religion here. It’s my favourite thing to do.

​

The ''M'' word again

 

[lotus]

Posted by Don Hubbard via HelluvaHoax! .... and snippety snipped.

LOL

 

[Churchill]

What a great thread this is; thoughtful, true, hysterically funny, and brilliantly creative...all qualities that Scientologists aspire to possess .
Yet I expect that Scientology TV will, like Scientology itself, fall prey to the law of unintended consequences, becoming hugely successful as a source for mockery, ridicule, and endless puncturing of Miscavige's towering pomposity and overbearing megalomania.
But I digress...I'm just so happy that Don Hubbard is getting back on his feet again.
That Guk bomb works every time!

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.
posted by IL2L

Too soon?* ​

While cooking dinner tonight, a question percolated up. If this TV network experiment
doesn't work out, and my money is on it not working out, how can DM possibly exit
the market gracefully? Especially after buying a whole studio and sinking so much
money into video production. I mean the cost of this whole "top-down marketing"
pilot project must be astronomical. And if he goes month after month without a
return on investment -- likely -- how does he face the whales and parishioners who
funded it all with their hard-earned dollars?

The whole project seems like a Hail Mary pass . . . since nothing else has worked or is working. With ongoing, recurring monthly costs, you can't go on faking it month after month. If this doesn't work, how will he exit gracefully? What next then?

To me it seems like this could turn out to be his Bernie Madoff moment. Your current pool of investors stops funding you and you can get in trouble fast. Like Madoff did. His house of cards fell pretty quickly once the Ponzi scheme stopped self-funding via current investors and began to unravel in an uncontrollable way. (I watched the movie, LOL!)

The other side of the coin is that this TV experiment surprises everyone and booms
the COS. Unlikely, IMO, but could happen. (Albeit a 90-yard Hail Mary pass.)

. . .

QUESTION: "If this doesn't work, how will he exit gracefully? What next then?"

ANSWER: The next big thing.

CLARIFICATION: That's all Scientology is, a 7 decade succession of the next big thing--that solves that failures of all the previous big things that purportedly handled all beings on this planet. Big things are always breathtaking breakthroughs that blow your bank, BTs and bank account.

Notable recent examples of massively miserable failures for COB include: GAT, THE BASICS, SUPERPOWER, IDEAL ORGS, IAS, GOLD BASE MEDIA STUDIOS AND INT'L MGT HEADQUARTERS (800-STRONG IN HEMET), WORLDWIDE PUBLICATIONS (NEW PRINTING FACILITY, NEW & IMPROVED HIGH TECH E-METERS, ET AL....

It's Scientology, nothing ever works. So the solution since day one (and Book 1) has always been precisely the same. Promise something even bigger and more supernaturally amazing.

"The Next Big Thing" works because Scientologists compulsively AGREE with everything and everyone above them on the command channel or grade chart. The aura of mystery is so intentionally & pervasively thick throughout all of Scientology, that Scientologists really believe that SOMEONE ELSE knows the secret to happiness, freedom and immortality.

Scientology cultivates mystery. Mystery sandwich, right? They promote mystery and create mystery, whilst pretending they are bestowing knowingness.

Last time I did a clay demo, it seemed that KNOWINGNESS and MYSTERY were on opposite sides of the scale.

 

[ILove2Lurk]

. . .

"They'll believe anything won't they? It's pretty obvious. They'll all believe what we
tell them to believe. We learned that a long time ago. It's the most workable thing
about Scientology after all." ​

Marty Rathbun​

From the Cutting Room Floor *​

​

​

* Excerpt from a parody post

 

[ThetanExterior]

I just watched a few minutes of it on youtube. All those happy smiling beautiful people - they can't all be lying can they? Well, yes they can.

I stopped watching when one beautiful young woman said: "I often bring my non-scientologist friends to the church for a coffee and to chill out" or some such BS. Anyone who has been in scientology can tell you what would happen if you brought someone into one of their buildings. The person would be jumped on by reges and when they eventually managed to get out they would resolve never to go back there again. That's the truth about scientology.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

I just watched a few minutes of it on youtube. All those happy smiling beautiful people - they can't all be lying can they? Well, yes they can.

I stopped watching when one beautiful young woman said: "I often bring my non-scientologist friends to the church for a coffee and to chill out" or some such BS. Anyone who has been in scientology can tell you what would happen if you brought someone into one of their buildings. The person would be jumped on by reges and when they eventually managed to get out they would resolve never to go back there again. That's the truth about scientology.

HellYeah!

That perfectly exemplifies the cult's BAIT & SWITCH marketing.

Another example of how "ethical" Scientologists dispose of the truth without sorrow is the promo photos of Flag's fun-loving, F/Ning FCCIs frolicking in the pool. Despite never having attained Clear, I recall clearly when NOTS first came out that dozens of people on the lineup (waiting for session) hung out talking, laughing, getting dark suntans and playing in the pool all day! It was like Scientology Spring Break! LOL. (Think Pre-OTs Gone Wild).

Then, suddenly, an army of clipboard wielding fanatics descended on the partying "paying public" Pre-OTs, giving them very strident commands to get on course and stop wasting precious time having fun. This word may have been mentioned......dilettante, LOL.

All Pre-OTs were literally forced to clear out from the grounds/pool where they had been having the time of the life every day all summer. It was "out-ethics" to be playing in the pool when there was only a slim sliver of time to save the planet, mankind and the universe. Daring to play in the pool was a "deadly serious activity" that not only was met with scowling lectures--it was PUNISHABLE by even nastier MMAs if you didn't comply.

It bears mentioning that Scn. International Headquarters ("Gold") always depicts their swimming pool too in promos, brochures and glamorous fly-over videos. Amazing resort, right? LOL. Except the hundreds of Sea Org slaves were forbidden from using the pool.

They were, however, "encouraged" to use the lake---when ordered to clean out its murky, putrid, fecal-infected water without Hazmat suits. No exaggeration, that happened.

Back to your excellent post, the entire idea of "I often bring my non-scientologist friends to the church for a coffee and to chill out" is such a ludicrous "BIG LIE", it's right up there with Tommy Davis going on national TV and staring into the camera with total certainty, claiming "there is no such thing as disconnection...." in Scientology.

Scientology is essentially the modern science of mental masturbation. They lie to their members. Lie to the media. And lie to themselves. All that while they orgasmically smirk and tell you about their huge wins.

 

[TrevAnon]

I looked, and it was the Bentley Continental, as depicted in your photo. I was too much in shock to ask him how he bought that ride for cash. If i see him or talk to him again soon, I promise to ask him how he pulled that off!

As far as I know, Don hasn't worked since he blew from the Apollo in 1969 after Ron kept him in a chain locker for 4 months (because he missed some dust during a white glove inspection on one of Ron's favorite cowboy hats).

Don's been a little bit "off" since then.

I'm sure Don sued the church with a very good lawyer for that chain locker thing.

The church didn't want a verdict that they were guilty and when it became clear they were horribly losing it, they reached out to Don himself (not his lawyer) and convinced him to fire his lawyer without cause and make the case go away in exchange for a nice amount of money.

Of course Don every once in a while now has to look angry at some scientology ex and/or critic. Part of the deal.

Nothing new here, I've seen it happen before...

On the positive side though this means you'll get your money back!

 

[Operating DB]

..

I occasionally dropped in on that channel and after a number of times got the clear idea that they were just running a loop, over and over again--just like the Orwellian "r-factor" flat-screens in Ideal Org reception areas. The COS (Crimewave of Scientology) doesn't trust any live person to pitch the scam because they might not be a good liar--or they might inadvertently reveal cult secrets, like:

[ warning, i feel a rant coming on! ]

DIV VI REGISTRAR
...so like I say, you're going to love Scientology
so much because it's like having a magic lamp and
you can get every wish you ever wished for!

WOG
Wow! That sounds just amazing! It actually sounds
too good to be true!

DIV VI REGISTRAR
Oh my goodness, LOL, no, no, no! This time it really
is true---when you go OT you will learn how to do something
we call "postulates". It means when you decide you want
something, you instantly get it!!!

WOG
WOW! So how long does it take to go OT? I can't wait!

DIV VI REGISTRAR
Well it really doesn't take that long at all
if you just get started today and just---DECIDE
you want to go OT and make it the most important
thing in your life--and dedicate your time to it!

WOG
Amazing, I decided! You must be really high on those
OT levels since you work here full time!

DIV VI REGISTRAR
Oh, yes, I have receive more miraculous gains than
you would ever believe! Because I got rid of all my
distractions and became a full time Scientologist
and Scientology staff member!

WOG
Super-amazing! How long have you been on staff?

DIV VI REGISTRAR
Well, it's been 27 years!

WOG
WOW! Twenty seven years! You must be like OT VIII! OMG!

DIV VI REGISTRAR
LOL, thanks for flowing so much power to me! I haven't
gone quite that far on my Bridge to Total Freedom. But it's
my postulate to finish up through OT VIII by the end of this year!

WOG

Wow! So what OT level are you on then? OT VII?

DIV VI REGISTRAR
LOL, not exactly. Hey, let's talk about your Bridge to OT!
How much can you flow to your first course so we can
get you started on the communication course today?!

WOG
But, yeah, okay---I mean, what OT level are you? OT VI?

DIV VI REGISTRAR
Well, Ron says it's not a good idea to talk about one's case.
Hey, tell me about your ruin again, so we can help you get
on the road to happiness today!

WOG
I mean, can you just tell me what OT level you are on? I never
met an OT before.

DIV VI REGISTRAR
Oh, you'll meet lots of OTs when you are on course and
getting auditing. And as Scientologists, we will always
be willing to share our miraculous wins with you and
answer all your questions!

WOG
But, could you answer my question then? After 27 years,
what OT level are you? OT 3?

DIV VI REGISTRAR
LOL, not exactly. I actually am working towards getting
on OT 3 very very soon!

WOG
So, then, you are what? OT 2? OT 1?

DIV VI REGISTRAR
LOL, not exactly.

WOG
But after 27 years, you are at least Clear, right?

DIV VI REGISTRAR
LOL, um, not exactly but I am close. Very very close!

WOG
I mean, weird, so you are on your Grades?

DIV VI REGISTRAR
Can we just talk about all the supernatural powers
you will get as soon as you get on the Bridge?

WOG
Um, are you like what? Grade 2? Grade 1?
Grade 0?

DIV VI REGISTRAR
LOL, not exactly.

WOG
OMG, 27 years? Seriously, so you're like what?

DIV VI REGISTRAR
Well, I mean don't get me wrong, I'm totally winning
on my Bridge.

WOG
Okay, so you're totally winning. What level are you on?

DIV VI REGISTRAR
Um, well, I was on the HQS course but then I got onto
a word chain and bogged. So then I got a study de-bug and
it read on OUT-INT, but we didn't have any auditors who were
certified to run that for a couple years. So that slowed me down.

WOG
So after a couple years you got the auditing and went back
on course because your study case was de-bugged?

DIV VI REGISTRAR
Um, not exactly. When we got a trained auditor on staff, I
didn't have enough money to buy two intensives. So I have been
waiting for free student auditing from someone who needs to
run the Int Rundown. But, actually while I was waiting, my twin
on HQS blew and they sent me to Ethics for allowing that to
happen. During my ethics program I was twinning with a girl
from Romania on Conditions by Dynamics--but it came out that
she was PTS and she was routed off when she mentioned that
she first got interested in studying the mind when she was a small
girl in Bucharest and her father was a psychologist who was helping
homeless people get off of drugs and alcohol addiction. So, yeah,
they told me she was most likely a plant sent in to sabotage Ron's
spiritual freedom Bridge. Anyways, my folders got sent up to OSA
to see what was up with my bogged case and they found the why, that
I hadn't done the Purif. They told me that when I was given cough
syrup as a kid that all those drugs were ruining my spiritual progress.
So, I have been flowing money to my purif since then and it's almost
half paid for now! So, that's a huge win, right?

WOG
Twenty seven years and you still couldn't pay for your Purif? How much
do they pay you anyways?

DIV VI REGISTRAR
Oh, well, we're ministers so we don't get paid big salaries! LOL

WOG
So, like what? Minimum wage?

DIV VI REGISTRAR
LOL, not really. Usually my take-home pay is between 10
and 25 dollars a week---when we get paid. I haven't been paid
in a few months, so I need to catch up on my dateline debts, per
Ron's finance policy, before I can continue flowing money to
my Bridge.

WOG
Oh. I mean--what happened to all that stuff you told me about
miracles and postulates? Why didn't you just postulate that
you'd make more money and do your Bridge?

DIV VI REGISTRAR
Hey, listen, I am not just selfishly thinking about myself, I am
taking total responsibility for all of mankind, so everyone gets
OT powers, not just me. That's why I joined staff!

WOG
But, you don't have any of the gains or powers or miracles that
you want me to believe. And you've been doing it full time for
27 years! What's up with that?

DIV VI REGISTRAR
I'll be straight with you. I'm not just some fucking dilettante who
waltzes into the org and paid a gazillion dollars and gets all their
case handled all the up to OT VIII while the rest of mankind just
suffers and succumbs to the nightmarish dwindling spiral of living
on a slave planet! If you think you are so much better than me,
why don't you fucking join staff, take some responsibility
and help us to save mankind---instead of your bullshit little ruin
that you want to become a fucking actor! LOL. Get real, you can do
all the acting you want, but there's not going to be any
plays or tv shows or movies to even act in
after the planet blows up and everyone dies!

WOG
Whoa! And that's why you don't have any
of the miraculous powers of a Clear or OT?

DIV VI REGISTRAR
Yeah. That's why. So are you going to just sit
there and natter about your life or are you
going to join fucking staff and help us clear
this fucking mudball?

WOG
I thought we were talking about me getting
some help, that's why I came in.

DIV VI REGISTRAR
Hey, don't try running that on me. That's why
all of us on staff came in. Until we cognited that
we can never be full OT until we take responsibility
for dilettante DBs like you.

​

SUMMARY: The cult cereal box. The outside looks so amazing--all those colorful graphics and exciting magical images! Until you open it and discover what's inside. That's when you start to remember all those "silly" internet websites, where ex-cult members incessantly warned about wearing a Hazmat suit before opening the box.

.​

Helluva, your scenario was a work of art! I was line charging my ass off. The funny and at the same time sad thing about it is it's spot on true! Large parts of it were exactly what I experienced in my 9 year cult sentence.

 

[renegade]

This must be a nightmare for scientologists. They are taught that SPs can't complete a cycle of action therefore whenever a scientologist starts something they are supposed to complete it. I can remember people at my org saying they started to watch a TV program which they didn't like but they had to watch it all the way through just to "complete the cycle of action". I thought at the time that this was kind of dumb but I could understand it in a way.

Imagine how they must feel if they start watching 3 hours of scientology content and they want to go and do something else instead. Not only will they feel they are acting like an SP but they are also invalidating scientology. So they'll just have to sit through the whole 3 hours. Ha ha.

http://gogopixlibrary.com/clockwork+orange+alex+eye?image=477725442

 

[TomKat]

I just watched a few minutes of it on youtube. All those happy smiling beautiful people - they can't all be lying can they? Well, yes they can.

I stopped watching when one beautiful young woman said: "I often bring my non-scientologist friends to the church for a coffee and to chill out" or some such BS. Anyone who has been in scientology can tell you what would happen if you brought someone into one of their buildings. The person would be jumped on by reges and when they eventually managed to get out they would resolve never to go back there again. That's the truth about scientology.

To be a good Scientologist is to be a compulsive liar. I frequently lied to family and friends to put Scn in a good light. I noticed that the LA Org (attached to ASHO) in the 80s used to say (maybe still does): "Dianetics Research Foundation." The only thing they researched was how to separate people from their money.

 

[Karen#1]

WATCH IT ! Comedy GOLD. Rolling on the floor laughing.

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=1638248719561541

​

 

[Tanchi]

WATCH IT ! Comedy GOLD. Rolling on the floor laughing.

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=1638248719561541

​

Thank you!! Excellent

 

[scooter]

WATCH IT ! Comedy GOLD. Rolling on the floor laughing.

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=1638248719561541

​

I remember when someone who'd been working hard on exposing the cult said to me about 6 years ago that "we'd" smashed the cult's brand here in Oz after several big wins. At the time I wasn't so sure but when you see stuff like "Tonightly" and the Current Affair segment I appeared in earlier in the week, the cult really gets no sympathy here in Oz on any level.

ANYTHING that the cult does is jumped all over by the local media these days - with steel-capped boots.

And, funnily enough, there's no comeback from OSA ANZO personnel appearing to "refute" stuff.

 

[Mimsey Borogrove]

"While cooking dinner tonight, a question percolated up. If this TV network experiment
doesn't work out, and my money is on it not working out, how can DM possibly exit
the market gracefully? Especially after buying a whole studio and sinking so much
money into video production. I mean the cost of this whole "top-down marketing"
pilot project must be astronomical. And if he goes month after month without a
return on investment -- likely -- how does he face the whales and parishioners who
funded it all with their hard-earned dollars?"

L2L - if it only costs $4 mil a year (which I read some where) and the cos is sitting on, what, 3 billion? I think he can keep it up for years.

My question is this in all direct tv markets? Or only a few key ones, such as the cities with big orgs? If the latter, which makes a lot of sense, the economics are better - your $ is going towards specific whale populations and will get them to fork over more IAS moola. I think that is the real purpose: whale-bait.

There was something about an Scio TV app for your cell phone - that would be something they could tie to the channel 320 but be in house for next to nothing. They could phase over to that as an exit possibility.

But really - what does he care if it looses money? How many ideal orgs are operating at a loss? What about the freewinds? Doesn't that also run at a loss? So why should STV be any different? As long as the illusion is that it is on line and wildly raising stats, as long as he can post STV fake graphs at events, and the whales pony up the donos - it has done it's job.

Tony recently made a big to-do about the tailored suits and the $18K watch that his cobness wears. You saw how spiffy he looked in the introductory video on STV. If you want to fit in with the rich crowd (your garden variety whales) you should dress the part. Same with the posh ideal orgs.

That is your answer to how long can he keep it up? As long as he can keep them forking over their millions. He could give a shit about our chump change. Never trust a Sicilian when money is on the line.- Vizinni

BTW - $18 K for a watch isn't all that much. There are plenty that cost much, much more, such as the tourbillion which can run around half a million. Check out the magazine below - the editor is a scio I met at flag while on the Purif there - he sports a $5k watch, and told me about how putting on a $350 K watch felt - rather scary due to worry if anything should happen to it. Check out the sapphire Richard Mille watch in the link below - only $2.02 million

Mimsey

https://www.watchtime.com/

https://www.hodinkee.com/articles/introducing-the-richard-mille-rm-56-02-tourbillon-sapphire

 

[ILove2Lurk]

L2L - if it only costs $4 mil a year (which I read some where) and the cos is sitting on, what, 3 billion? I think he can keep it up for years.

It was leaked to me that Scientology Inc is spending $4 million a month to be on the air.
Now will they get back this $4 million a month from new sign ups ? LOL

If it's $4 million a year -- that simply doesn't sound right. We're talking a nationwide network 24/7 via satellite. Doesn't compute for me. That would be the bargain of a century, IMO, as far as an advertising program goes.

I think Karen's number sounds more real and that would calculate out as $48 million a year. More plausible and still a deal.

But, you're right, invested correctly, the cash portion of the $3 billion could return up to a couple hundred million each year. (Under a Trump economy.)

See the speculation earlier on the thread: TV Answer Man
You'll have to check with people smarter than me.

 

[ThetanExterior]

In an idle moment I watched some more of Scientology TV on youtube. They were advertising free on-line courses such as "Honesty and Integrity" and "Ethics and the Conditions".

Free? Yeah, you get the course free but they get your contact details and they'll be contacting you regularly for the rest of your life. If you move house they'll track you down. If you skip the country they'll still find you.

Signing up for one of these courses is like inviting a psycho to be your friend.