AGH!! THATS IT!! i want out!
- Thread starter Sai Ninja 2000
- Start date
Papabear
Patron
Stillin, It's your life, your integrity at stake. Tell your parents you love them, and anyone else you have to, and GTFO. You will make it. Just because you can't see the end of the road doesn't mean it's not there.
There is probably some governmental program that can help you get on your feet. You can do this!
There is probably some governmental program that can help you get on your feet. You can do this!
Free to shine
Shiny & Free
Yes this is what happens, this is disconnection. Unfortunately you won't know what lies are being told about you unless someone tells you directly what they have been told. Your eternity is safe, that's the biggest lie of all.
Stand tall my friend, just be you. True friends will either stand by you or come back at some point. I know it's hard and in fact if you feel everyone is deserting you please remember that this is the desired effect and designed to make you crawl back and be obedient. Keep posting as you go, we know what you are going through - and we also know that life without the bullshit is worth more than words can say.
I remember years ago feeling I didn't have a friend in the world and no family who would understand...in a short time I found a message board on an interest of mine and in the process met some of the most amazing and supportive people you could imagine. Even though they didn't have a clue what I was experiencing, they supported me as a person.
You are a person here, you are supported and you are understood. This will fade, honestly and meantime be very kind to yourself as well and don't let the bastards get you down.
HappyGirl
Gold Meritorious Patron
Just walk out! We have a party waiting for you.
I know you don't want to leave friends and family behind, but they have already left you. They will have to catch up with you later when they wake up. Right now there is nothing more you can do there. Get out and start living. You are loved. It will get better. It gets better every day on the OUTside. You will make new friends and create a new family. The friends you make on the OUTside will never disconnect from you.
Megalomaniac
Silver Meritorious Patron
Hey, Still In.
Don't despair. You have not given up any rights. You can still talk to whomever you choose. Did everyone explicitly tell you they do not want to talk to you? No, right? Each individual who has not explicitly told you to GTFO is still right there, available to talk to. Every single one.
Go to your friends, in person. Make them look you in the eye.
It's a trick. This whole disconnection thing is a trick which relies a great deal on the despair you feel. They are counting on you to cave in, to agree that maybe you can be cut out of the group in one fell swoop. Don't agree. If they want to disconnect, force them to do it one person at a time. You have not lost any rights.
After all you've contributed -- after all the F#$(*@ing MONEY AND TIME you've contributed -- you understand me? -- after all you've done, they have the audacity to pretend you have no rights to any explanation!!!???
FUCK. NO.
It is they who need to answer to you.
They have to answer to you, why they deceived you.
You have all the rights of a person. Accept nothing less.
Pull the string. Assume the role of Ethics Officer, above them. You have a full right to communicate, to investigate, to make them answer to you. WHO is spreading rumors about you??
Yes, that is your right to track down the lies currently being spread about you. Slander is illegal, BTW. Human Trafficking is illegal. Who knew there were already laws against this kind of manipulation? We shoulda guessed there were, because CoS wasn't the first.
So, don't tolerate that crap. The correct attitude is defiance and keen interest. Don't despair, you're in the driver seat here.
Good luck,
Mac
Cherished
Silver Meritorious Patron
Dear StillIn,
I am so sorry that people are treating you this way and that you are hurting so badly.
It's horrible, because they're trying to control you. If you want their "friendship", you have to comply. I don't know your family. Maybe some of them feel terrible about doing this. Keep the communication channels open. Tell them you will never disconnect from them. If you still love scientology, tell them you love scientology, but the Church needs to get its ethics in.
The next is just to cover a worst case scenario. Hopefully you will never need to even think about it. But, just in case, you'll know it's there as a safety net.
As I recall, you are a minor. If you are kicked out of home, and you haven't made arrangements and can't get through to Tory or Chuck, then there are government services who will help you. Start by calling the National Runaway Hotline (it's for runaway AND homeless youth). 1-800-RUNAWAY - It's a 24 hour number
They will help you out with emergency help and transitional living arrangements until you reach 18.
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/fysb/content/youthdivision/programs/tlpfactsheet.htm
As I say, that's just so you know you won't be on the streets.
Don't panic.
<3
I am so sorry that people are treating you this way and that you are hurting so badly.
It's horrible, because they're trying to control you. If you want their "friendship", you have to comply. I don't know your family. Maybe some of them feel terrible about doing this. Keep the communication channels open. Tell them you will never disconnect from them. If you still love scientology, tell them you love scientology, but the Church needs to get its ethics in.
The next is just to cover a worst case scenario. Hopefully you will never need to even think about it. But, just in case, you'll know it's there as a safety net.
As I recall, you are a minor. If you are kicked out of home, and you haven't made arrangements and can't get through to Tory or Chuck, then there are government services who will help you. Start by calling the National Runaway Hotline (it's for runaway AND homeless youth). 1-800-RUNAWAY - It's a 24 hour number
They will help you out with emergency help and transitional living arrangements until you reach 18.
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/fysb/content/youthdivision/programs/tlpfactsheet.htm
As I say, that's just so you know you won't be on the streets.
Don't panic.
<3
Sai Ninja 2000
Patron with Honors
thanks guys.. this is so hard for me. i just cant understand it. i love my family. i'm not sure what to do. i know you guys say just gtfo but they still want me to complete the RF so i cant be declared.. yet...
still truckin on the RF for now i guess and see what my family does. :confused2:
still truckin on the RF for now i guess and see what my family does. :confused2:
Sai Ninja 2000
Patron with Honors
cherished
luckily, i am not a minor. if worse comes to worse and they declare me.. well.. then no worries i guess other than getting my life together and hoping that my family will one day get back in touch with me.
luckily, i am not a minor. if worse comes to worse and they declare me.. well.. then no worries i guess other than getting my life together and hoping that my family will one day get back in touch with me.
My experience with disconnection in a non-scn-related but very similar situation:
This is a very short version. I may post a longer one in it's own thread somewhere in the future.
My child was maybe 6 or 7, when one day s/he called me to let me know that I was a sh*t father and s/he wanted nothing to do with me anymore, never ever. Ouch! That hurt. There aren't many things in this world that can hurt me, but this was the most effective blow possible against me. It also was the only one that worked - all the previous blows had failed.
So what could I do? Well, I just let him/her know that I accept his/her decision, and will never bother him/her again, but I also assured him/her, that I will be there for him/her, whenever s/he wanted me to, and that I will never be more than a phone call away.
Long story short, it took 7 years and some "special circumstances", for him/her to call me, but s/he did, and we are in close contact ever since and spend many good hours together.
Why did I write all this? I wrote it to let you know that no decision is final, and that whenever your loved ones begin to think for themselves, they might change their mind, and they probably will.
If I were in your shoes, I doubt that I would do routing forms or any other of that stuff that only exists to f*ck you over again and again , until they've squeezed the last drop of blood out of you and finally let you go. I wouldn't keep up with that crap. I would just go. Your friends and family will be back in your life once they've begun to wake up, I'm quite sure about that.
Just don't let the false pictures of you, that scn gives them, affect you. Correct the misinformation if you have the opportunity to do so, but until then, just shrug it off. There is nothing else you could do anyway. You just follow your own way, which I hope is the shortest way OUT.
Jus' my $0.02
This is a very short version. I may post a longer one in it's own thread somewhere in the future.
My child was maybe 6 or 7, when one day s/he called me to let me know that I was a sh*t father and s/he wanted nothing to do with me anymore, never ever. Ouch! That hurt. There aren't many things in this world that can hurt me, but this was the most effective blow possible against me. It also was the only one that worked - all the previous blows had failed.
So what could I do? Well, I just let him/her know that I accept his/her decision, and will never bother him/her again, but I also assured him/her, that I will be there for him/her, whenever s/he wanted me to, and that I will never be more than a phone call away.
Long story short, it took 7 years and some "special circumstances", for him/her to call me, but s/he did, and we are in close contact ever since and spend many good hours together.
Why did I write all this? I wrote it to let you know that no decision is final, and that whenever your loved ones begin to think for themselves, they might change their mind, and they probably will.
If I were in your shoes, I doubt that I would do routing forms or any other of that stuff that only exists to f*ck you over again and again , until they've squeezed the last drop of blood out of you and finally let you go. I wouldn't keep up with that crap. I would just go. Your friends and family will be back in your life once they've begun to wake up, I'm quite sure about that.
Just don't let the false pictures of you, that scn gives them, affect you. Correct the misinformation if you have the opportunity to do so, but until then, just shrug it off. There is nothing else you could do anyway. You just follow your own way, which I hope is the shortest way OUT.
Jus' my $0.02
MAX YOUR CREDIT
Patron with Honors
Yup... that's RIGHT! I am going through the same thing right now. Except, almost everyone I knew disconnected from me and have been told lies about me and a few are still yet to confront the reality of disconnection. A few people have come forward enough to share what Celebrity Center is saying about me. I've gotten some emails from a few Scientologist basically saying that they have to disconnect from me. I expected all this to happen so it wasn't so much a surprise. After reading hundreds of stories, I prepared myself.
STILL IN:
My advice is take care of yourself. All this mental stress will catch up on you and make you sick or really drive you friggin insane. It happen to me! Thank God I had my boyfriend by my side. I got really ill. It took me over a year to heal. I'm better now.... but still have a little bit more to heal.
If you want support and you live in Los Angeles PM me and I will be more than happy to help you. My boyfriend is an amazing person and so am I. We are artists and love helping people. I would hate to see someone go through this alone. Even though my boyfriend and I had each other we still needed support from others. We forced ourselves to reach out for help and advice. We've been blessed to have received all the loving and caring support.
I would love to pay it forward if need be.
Free to shine
Shiny & Free
Doing the RF only drags it all out, and you are the one that suffers, honestly. A clean break is faster, kinder and better in the long run....there are many here who have gone through the RF route out and wish they hadn't. It won't change anything because people are still told to disconnect from you even if you are not declared 'officially'.
thetanic
Gold Meritorious Patron
Kookaburra
Gold Meritorious Patron
Yes, things are much, much worse than they used to be. What Still In is going through is standard practice these days.
Still In, please call Chuck and or Tory and find a safe place to go. Then you can write up your experience for the senate enquiry. The CoS is not going to clean up their act so we will have to do it for them.
Wisened One
Crusader
Try and get thru that stupid form as quickly as possible! When we were on ours, we had to do SO much waiting around for our Auditors to be ready, for the EO to see our next condition write-ups, and meanwhile, we'd be sent out to help on some Event set-up or clean this or do Reno's on that, etc.etc...and WE were there with a rented car from out of state and it took over three weeks (which..I guess it considered fast, but in our circumstances, it was EXPENSIVE staying at a weekly motel, renting the car, throwing money for things at the Org, food, etc.etc.etc..).
DON"T let them take advantage of you in these ways, ok? Just.....don't! Stand your ground firmly and move along any auditing cycles, Ethics cycles, etc! (IF you are insisting on doing the damn rf that is, I wouldn't do it..looking back on it all now... if it were me even with family...but that's me)
We're all here for you as you endure all this, I know how you are feeling, how each day that feeling in the pit of your stomach as you go into your Org and the treatment and shunning by those around you as they know you are leaving but nobody is allowed to speak about it, nor even say goodbye to you...STUPID!!
Enthetan
Master of Disaster
Ah, so you're on the RF, that explains it. As soon as you started, although YOU are not allowed to say anything, THEY probably told your family that they better get you to change your mind or else they are in trouble.
Enthetan
Master of Disaster
Plus if you are continuing to do work for them while on the RF, that gives them every incentive to drag out the cycle forever, or until you just walk away. If no timely progress on the RF, a sit-down strike might be effective. If they are getting no further work from you, but think you might still want to be in Scn, then completing your RF allows them to start dunning you for your Freeloader debt money.
Remember, their actions will be determined by what they think will get them a stat.
Dulloldfart
Squirrel Extraordinaire
Sai Ninja 2000
Patron with Honors
i just got a formal disconnection letter from my family.
this is so wrong. the things it said about me.. so wrong.. :'(
this is so wrong. the things it said about me.. so wrong.. :'(
EP - Ethics Particle
Gold Meritorious Patron
This is mortally offensive!
This is tangible evidence of the insidious and venal nature that pervades the Church of Scientology.
Still In, you are fortunate to have awakened and come to this forum.
Love,
EP
Mike Horton
IMO there is NO reason for you to ever return to any "Org" for any purpose, and I strongly advise you not to do so.
i just got a formal disconnection letter from my family.
this is so wrong. the things it said about me.. so wrong.. :'(
This is tangible evidence of the insidious and venal nature that pervades the Church of Scientology.
Still In, you are fortunate to have awakened and come to this forum.
Love,
EP
Mike Horton
IMO there is NO reason for you to ever return to any "Org" for any purpose, and I strongly advise you not to do so.
Last edited:
Enthetan
Master of Disaster
i just got a formal disconnection letter from my family.
this is so wrong. the things it said about me.. so wrong.. :'(
Keep in mind that the level of detail you're giving will shortly give any OSA monitors all the info they need to identify who you are. Just be prepared.
In any event, it is not unusual for them to 3rd Party you to everybody you're connected to, in order to put you in the worst possible light. The reason is to convince everybody that you're a bad person, and so anything you say from your side is not to be believed. This 3rd Party operation started the day you started the routing-off routing form.
The objective is to either
1) drive you to your knees to the point where you will do the doubt formula, decide to stay, and beg everybody's forgiveness at the Liability stage, or
2) dead-agent anything negative you have to say about the org and Scientology, as just being the natter of an SP
