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Back in wonderland - Catarina Pamnell says hi

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by catarina, Mar 2, 2014.

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  1. catarina

    catarina PTS Type III

    Just in case there is anyone around from the late 1990's and a.r.s., here's a big hello!

    Ex Class V-org in Sweden. I was active in the early 1980's, but a hangaround for much longer, I had more debts than money plus two young children. Still caught in the illusion, I paid towards the freeloader bill. Then the internet came along in 1995...

    Important point: I was a total and utter nobody then. I am a total and utter nobody now. Really.

    I think nothing cut through the knot of scientology as sharply for me as this point. The CoS had all these clears and ohteas, Class XII auditors and high ranking ethics staff and deadly seriuos people in uniform, all who had studied Source for not days or weeks, but for months and years and years. If the tech works, they should have been able to silence me as easily as swatting a fly.

    In 1997, I believe, I started posting to a.r.s. Eventually, I created a website (mostly in Swedish and now it's a museum since I havent touched it in a decade, lots of dead links I'm sure). Then media, national radio, television, newspapers (I think my favourite is being quoted in the two major medical journals re. CoS and psychs). Some picketing, including Flag. Some interviews by university students. Met some bad-ass SPs. Oh, I'm not claiming to have done more than anyone else, far from it - but like I said, I'm a nobody, how do they let a nobody get away with speaking badly about them in public when it ought to have been so very simple for them to "handle" me?

    In the early 2000's I simply got bored with Scn-related matters. I had spent so much of my life in that bubble, I wanted to turn my attention to other things.

    But recently I ran across links to places like this. And I just couldn't stop reading. So many people, places and times, I want to catch up with everything, which is of course silly.

    Probably, I will mostly be lurking here. But in case I can't shut up at some point, you know who I am.

    (My story about my time in Scn can be found online, as I understand it I can't post links in my first post)
  2. David C Gibbons

    David C Gibbons Ex-Scientology Peon

    Welcome Catarina!

    You may have already worked through the issues you had with Scientology, if so, there's no need to dredge it back up for this crowd if you do not care to. If, however, you feel sharing something might help some still-in, just-out, or never-in to better understand the reality of Scientology, fire away!
  3. catarina

    catarina PTS Type III

    Thank you for the welcome!

    It's strange, the Scn stuff seems to come off in layers, peeling onion style. I can walk around for six months without giving it a thought, and then suddenly I find myself using Scientologese along with emotional memories, whereas I'm normally careful to keep my language clean. Recently, I have felt sort of an emptiness because it's hard to talk about the Scn universe with people who have no experience, nor much knowledge. Probably just another layer coming off. :)
  4. Leland

    Leland Crusader

    Hi Catarina! Hello to Sweden!

    I just joined ESMB last month. I got out ​Scien 2001. I find dragging up old stories to post both good and bad.

    Kinda free and easy here ...... But are some motherly and fatherly types.

  5. ThetanExterior

    ThetanExterior Gold Meritorious Patron

    Hi Catarina and welcome!

    Don't be surprised about those super-powerful OTs not being able to stop you. If you read Mike Rinder's blog you'll see they can't even organise a re-opening of a building without having to postpone it because of the weather.:duh:
  6. catarina

    catarina PTS Type III


    I agree that there is good and bad about going through old stuff. That's why I gave it a rest for a few years. Maybe I'm just becoming old and sentimental. :eyeroll:

    Motherly and fatherly is fine with me, I can handle evil stepmothers, too.
  7. catarina

    catarina PTS Type III

    Too bad really, they could have fixed global warming...

    Thank you for the welcome!
  8. SchwimmelPuckel

    SchwimmelPuckel Genuine Meatball

    Hello Catarina! - :) (I was in GOEU in 1979 - 80, recalcitrant public for 5 or 6 years more. Link to my story in my sig-line below.)
  9. Mick Wenlock

    Mick Wenlock Admin Emeritus (retired)

    Hej Catarina!

    Good to see you again.

  10. He-man

    He-man Hero extraordinary

    Hej Catarina!

    Vet inte om vi träffats men kul att se en till Svensk här. :)
  11. Pooks


    Oh my! How wonderful that you are here. I want you to know that you were instrumental in my leaving the cult. You did a wonderful job in helping me wake up with your truth and kindness. I used to post on ars as Morrigan and then as Cerridwen. Thank you so much for your courage and kind spirit.

    Patty Pieniadz Moher
  12. catarina

    catarina PTS Type III

  13. catarina

    catarina PTS Type III

    Wow, I certainly remember you. How lovely to meet you here! So many times you just hope to be of a tiny little bit of help, but you don't know what happens - it's heartwarming when you do hear that what you did had some meaning to another person, just as oneself is transformed by these interactions.
  14. Free Being Me

    Free Being Me Crusader

    :welcome2: Catarina!
  15. catarina

    catarina PTS Type III

    Wow, this is going to my head :happydance:
  16. Enthetan

    Enthetan Master of Disaster

    Hey, if you like it, we'll do MORE!
  17. jenni with an eye

    jenni with an eye Silver Meritorious Patron

  18. Anonycat

    Anonycat Crusader

    Hi Catarina!

  19. aegerprimo

    aegerprimo Summa Cum Laude

    :wave: Hi Catarina!

    Fantastic to have you here! BTW - no such thing as a "nobody" at ESMB. :grouphug:
  20. Claire Swazey

    Claire Swazey Spokeshole, fence sitter

    Hi. I've missed seeing you around. Very good to see you here.