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Challenges All New Apostates Must Confront

Discussion in 'Leaving Scientology' started by TG1, Nov 10, 2013.

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  1. TG1

    TG1 Angelic Poster

    A new wave of apostates is coming out of the CoS down in South Africa. And with GAT2, Superpower and the celebratory clusterfuck down in Clearwater, it’s a good guess that a new wave of Scientologists will find the courage to say, “Fuck you, CoS and David Miscavige.”

    This means we’ll soon see a new wave of Scientologists looking to practice Scientology outside the Church. For a while some of those will remain Indie Scientologists. But over time, most of them will peel away.

    Eventually, whether they remain indies or become exes, they will have a chance to deal with the same issues everyone who’s left the CoS has had to deal with, including:

    1. How do you rebuild your life if, by leaving the Church, you’ve lost your livelihood?

    2. How do you find and enter a new community after losing your larger Church community?

    3. How do you find the comfort of family if you’ve been forced to leave family behind?

    4. How do you admit that you were such a sucker for so very long?

    5. How do you find the courage to say “I’m sorry” and make amends to those you disconnected from and fucked over when they left the Church before you?

    6. How do you find the courage to consider, honestly, when Scientology began to be a cult?

    7. How do you let go of all the sunk costs you still have in Scientology – in its policies, technology, philosophy, founder, and the community?

    8. How do you re-interpret the meaning of your life as you reconsider what you really know to be true?

    What other challenges did ESMBers face as a new apostate?

    What advice do you have for new apostates who are newly out or will soon be coming out?

  2. AnonyMary

    AnonyMary Formerly Fooled - Finally Free

    Don't let fear paralyze you like it did so many of us after we left. This added so much time between leaving and finally looking at the internet, finally speaking up, anonymously or otherwise. Plan your future so you don't lose your loved ones who are still in, if you can. Then speak up, connect up in whatever way works for you best, anonymously or otherwise. But don't be afraid to move forward, away from the constraints.

    As the late US President Franklin D Roosevelt once said:

  3. BardoThodol

    BardoThodol Silver Meritorious Patron

  4. scooter

    scooter Gold Meritorious Patron

    Personally, the best thing I ever did was, after several weeks out, I realized that I could no longer be CERTAIN of ANYTHING I'd learnt while in $cientology. Nothing. Nada. Nil.:no:

    So I made an effort to suspend belief in EVERYTHING until I'd been able to prove it to myself "in a new unit of time."

    I'm still working that one through.:yes:

    The second-best thing I ever did was admit on-camera to Bryan Seymour that I'd been a brain-dead zombie for the last thirty years.:lol:

    And he keeps playing that clip on various Co$ stories that he does.

    It certainly keeps me humble.:roflmao:
  5. dchoiceisalwaysrs

    dchoiceisalwaysrs Gold Meritorious Patron

    Perhaps a little or a lot of this.

    of course......

    leave behind what you will...

    be kind...

    blend it with love....

    share life and love...

    The choice is always ours. Season it to your personal tastes.
  6. BardoThodol

    BardoThodol Silver Meritorious Patron

    Sorry, I don't believe you.

    (Sorry for such a pedestrian and predictable joke, but...the devil made me do it.)
  7. Idle Morgue

    Idle Morgue Gold Meritorious Patron

    I had completely lost my identity in Scientology. People will look to their group for acceptance - it is normal. This group was not normal...they did not cry when people died, they did not celebrate Holidays like the rest of the World, they were too busy to do anything outside the cult. It was extremely lonely inside Scientology. If you kept real busy would not notice it. When you leave - there is a huge emptiness that engulfed me emotionally as I peeled the layers off one by one - kicking myself for spending so much money, disconnecting from friends and family, isolating myself and wasting so much time.

    It has been two years now and I am regaining my identity back. I am regaining the skills and abilities I had lost in the cult.

    Everything one does outside of Scientology is covertly thought of and ingrained as a mindset as insignificant and I felt so lost, alone and insignificant.

    When I first got in - the "love bombing" and fake ARC from the Staff made me think these people are here to support me and my dreams. Then one's life blows up and the piltdown teeth are eventually barred...of course by then, I think it is ME - when it was Scientology the whole time - the perpetual PTP, the connection to the SP (for those tekkies out there)

    What I did for work had lost its meaning and my passion was completely gone on the subject. I am regaining that back now. I love what I do and my passion is rejuvenated.

    I am having to rebuild everything and start all over again. It has been a very difficult time but it is getting better and better each day. My mind is healing just like a cut would.

    Scientology cuts deep and it lacerates and infects.

    EXSMB, Tony Ortega, Mike Rinder, Marty Rathbun and all of the others who posted on the internet was my healing salve!!

    To find out the truth and truly confront it was one of the biggest "wins" I have had ever. I now know just how evil man can be, especially in religious groups. It will never happen again!
  8. Infinite

    Infinite Troublesome Internet Fringe Dweller

    Stay off the hypno-cans. The last thing a person escaping Scientology needs is more Scientology.
  9. TheSpectator

    TheSpectator Patron with Honors

    There are a lot of things in life you have to come to terms with after leaving Scientology. Many are very embarrassing because you have to sincerely apologize to friends (both ex-Scientologists and non-Scientologists) for your self-centered, rude behavior (and you thought you were saving the planet!).

    Most things being considered are personal to the person leaving, so the order and importance of various issues is subjective. For me, it was reexamining all of my Scientology indoctrination. Does ARC really comprise Understanding? (My answer is no.) Is man basically good? (I'm leaning toward evil now.) Is the overt/motivator sequence an underlying motivation for human behavior (sometimes.)

    Just trying to get out of the mindset of a Scientologist is tricky. Particularly if you've been involved a long time. You're still be on the look out for PTSes and SPs! But after awhile you find yourself being much less judgmental of others and enjoying life more. Oh, and you'll have a lot more money too! :)
  10. TG1

    TG1 Angelic Poster

    Even though I posed the challenges (and there are lots more than that, too), I'm still thinking about my advice.

    I'll start with this one ....

    Find the courage to read the things you're most afraid of reading.

    Your fear just shows you where your blinders are. It doesn't matter whether what you read is true or false -- just find the courage to confront it.

  11. In present time

    In present time Gold Meritorious Patron

    i didn't know about that. can i see it?

    i wrote a long post of advise and deleted it instead.
    so, i suppose the only advise i have left to give is, don't invalidate yourself!
    i used a process i learned in scn. just the other night when i found the tramatised kitten.
    you know the reach and withdraw one, where you pull back on a reach and withdraw, until they feel they can be a little dangerous to their environment.

    i guess what i am saying is, after many years in, when you walk out, just know you are free to keep what was useful and disgard the rest.

    having the belief that one wasted years of their life, is not a belief that serves you.

    or, as william least heat moon put it. "you have to watch how you get."
  12. Dean Blair

    Dean Blair Silver Meritorious Patron

    What helped me the most was studying. Study what the members are saying here. Study the books written by people who were in Scientology. Study all of the web sites available on the internet and form new conclusions now that you have sufficient information. We were all studying only what L Ron Hubbard wrote and said and reading what others have written and spoken helped me break the spell.
  13. JBWriter

    JBWriter Happy Sapien

    If a person is newly out, or even contemplating departure from Co$/scientology, I hope s/he would consider taking a basic college-level communications course. Local community colleges offer this course at very reasonable rates - generally, 3 hrs per week for 6 weeks earns 3 credits.

    Usually, the course description looks similar to this...

    "This course is designed to develop students' knowledge and skills pertaining to the fundamental theories, concepts, vocabulary, and practices related to the discipline of communication. Topic areas the course addresses include the process of communication, as well as verbal, nonverbal, listening, interpersonal, small group, intercultural, organizational, public and mediated forms of communication."

    ...and the course title might say "Basic Communication 101" or "Fundamentals of Communications 101" or "Intro to Communication", etc.

    If the course also includes a 'public speaking' component - that's a true bonus!

    The main reason I suggest taking a class like this is that it can show, at a reasonable pace, that there are many ways to communicate and be communicated to that aren't taught/employed within the Co$ framework.

    Plus, college students are fun!
    Note #1: the average age of community college students in the US is well-over 25 yrs old; many of the students are over 40, and some are well-beyond that age.

    Note #2: US community colleges offer a TON of scholarships & grants for "non-traditional" students (students w/kids, students w/hardships of many, many different types, students returning to the workplace, etc.) and they generally have excellent job placement counselors ready to help, too.

    If you finish a college-level basic communications course after having completed the 'comm course' in Co$, please write about it here at ESMB.

    Last edited: Nov 11, 2013
  14. Techless

    Techless Patron Meritorious

    Without being too considerate of any preface or explanation of what or why, my first suggestion is to:

    STOP!!!! SLOW down - take it in tiny bits. Just KNOW that there is a much better world - and one that is just like the one you've always fantasized about WAY BEFORE you got into a stupid trap!

    You're forgiven. Life is indeed very strange. Get on with it.

    You can salvage a very much needed YOU here! Learn to accept and despise that which 'tricked you' and your better senses and mostly: get back on track! It's still here and always has been.

    We all need people with a passion and caring like you.
  15. Idle Morgue

    Idle Morgue Gold Meritorious Patron

    ARC in Scientology is only used to manipulate people into giving up money and time for the best interest of the CULT! Thank you for your post!! You nailed it about ARC - it does NOT comprise understanding - because Scientology "trains" people to pretend to agree. People are trusting and they are blown away as to "how nice Scientologist's are when they first come in"

    Scientology uses ARC in the most evil and covert ways that are so destructive!

    A thread about ARC is worthy of is THE WORST PART OF THE TEK!
  16. Gib

    Gib Crusader

    What you write is very true for me,

    and then I finally connected the dots

    it was all a sales pitch

    from dianetics up to present time.

    dianetics claims 270 people were cleared. And a couple could clear each other in 20 to a few hundred hours.

    All the EP's of every grade level are a sales pitch and the OT levels and the super duper L's, and the KTL and the PRO TR's

    and now Super Power to be released,

    are all hyped up, pure promotion and PR. (as written in the Marketing & PR series in the OEC's)

    And I finally realized how history repeats itself, and the same gimmicks are used day in and day out even today

    on the info-commercials, TV evangelistic's, MLM companies, etc.

    Back in the early 1900's, when wireless radio first became available, the same promo as hubbard used:

    And the above happened in the era of stocks.

    and hubbards claim dianetics was a greater invention then the wheel or fire or whatever that [STRIKE]PT Barnum dude[/STRIKE] hubbard said. LOL

    Check out this hyped up promo piece from 1901,

    same shit hubbard used:

    No wonder John P Capitalist has fallen into the rabbit hole to expose scientology.

    Stock Promoters from the pre depression era did the same thing as hubbard. (and they are still doing it. LOL)

    I don't know if any of you folks have read the stock market books by Peter Lynch, One Up On Wallstreet,

    but it's a good read and falls in line with hubbard & scientology.

    Hubbard was a stock promoter, only problem is he grabbed all the glory and shit on anybody else who contributed or helped to build up scientology all over the world.

    And hubbard owned all the stock and all the people that worked for him.

    And DM owes the stock and people that work for him.

    all hidden under the guise of "religious freedom"
    Last edited: Nov 11, 2013
  17. Gib

    Gib Crusader

    This might answer some questions:
  18. Techless

    Techless Patron Meritorious

    Dean, I totally agree with what you've said here. Yet I'm feeling a bit weird-ed out about the concept: study. Also wondering just what someone recently escaping from the thing, when trying to 'study' anything...might end to think.

    That whole topic/concept/important thing: was used in the initial con, in a big way.

    It's definitely one of those things that needs to be sorted through again - so one is 'studying' for the right purpose!

    AS opposed to me, who studied under the completely wrong premise of agreeing to be brainwashed.

    I've been in extreme nit-picky mode here this eve- but i really do hope to point out some things I noticed when deciphering my way out.

    There are huge buttons in the whole mess, which can take time to sort through. I'll usually just yap about what has had impact on me, good or bad.
  19. CO2

    CO2 Patron Meritorious

    My advice is pretty close to this^^^^^^^

    When i was "in", I had many other interests. I never dropped them. My advice is to not doubt yourself, and what you've done, an are now doing. Continue to pursue your personal goals and games; don't let anyone intimidate you into not talking and seeing your friends. Just continue learning about things that interest you. Go to work every day with a smile on your face, and create good will. It'll all resolve.
  20. clamicide

    clamicide Gold Meritorious Patron

    Just a quick one here:

    Watch comedies-- stand-up, SNL, goofy movies, or whatever makes you laugh. Don't be afraid if you can't laugh at first; it'll come.

    Among all the 'real work' in getting out, I'm surprised sometimes how much that really helped. I sometimes forget how wonderful it is.