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Deep breath. OK. I can do this. Here Goes.

Discussion in 'Stories From Inside Scientology' started by GreyWolf, Aug 26, 2009.

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  1. GreyWolf

    GreyWolf Gold Meritorious Patron

    I was looking for a job as I had just moved to the High desert to where my wife and kids had been staying since we had lost our house. I saw an ad in the paper saying that a book seller was needed. It was a commision job with a low salary to go with it. I appreciated the "honesty" so I went in and applied. What a trip that was. I had never been given a personality test and an IQ test just to apply for a damn job! My personalty test had a few low points, but were all above the halfway point and my IQ test scored pretty high. (OK so if I had a high IQ how did I fall for Scn?) What I found later was that if the evaluater thought they might not be able to find a ruin, they might go the other way and stroke your ego. That's what happened to me. The ED of the mission and the OES at the time ganged up on me. They were husband and wife.

    (Harry and Nancy I hope you guys made it out)

    The Ed said, looking at my graphs, I think we have found our next exec. The OES looked and nodded with a smile. Of course at that time I felt about 10 feet tall. This was on a Friday. They gave me a DMSMH to read and said to come back on Monday. I read that book over the weekend and I was hooked before I was halfway through. I was really excited! I could actually see that Dianetics could help to save the world from it's ever dwindling spiral. I knew I had to be part of this. When I walked into the Mission on Monday, I was walking on Cloud 9! They told me that the coming weekend they were going to be setting up a booth at the swap meet and I could start selling books, but until then, I had to decide if I was in it for two and a half or five years. I said I was going to get in it for life or longer. I didn't know why that gave them a chuckle. I then started my instant hat for my new post. I did my post hat and Staff status 0 in two days, then routed onto the Dianetics Aditor course.

    Saturday came and I went to the swap meet to sell Dianetocs books. I really had a good time and it must have shown because I sold quite a few books that day. I also handed out a lot of OCA's. I made money that day and had a BLAST. Of course, at that time, they were still saying "If it aint fun, it aint Scientology."

    I was also having a good time with my course. I found, through doing the word clearing that i was starting to feel smarter. Huh? I started feeling that I wanted to be at the Mission more than I wanted to be home. Hmmmm. Where have I heard that before? My wife was starting to wonder what was happening but I just explained that I was getting training to help me do my job better. That worked for a while.

    Finally, she just came out and asked me what the hell I had gotten myself into. She thought I was starting to change. ME? I told her to get a sitter for the boys for the next day and I would take her down there and show her what was going on. She did and we went to the Mission. The whole thing was totally out R for her. I told her that I had to go on course and that Nancy would explain things to her better than I could. When I came off course that day, she was a little more understanding and could accept the fact that I was doing a good thing, not only for her and my family, but for the whole of mankind. The next day, they told me that my wife was an illegal PC because of having been in a psych hospital and psych drugs and that training was out for her as well because she was functionally illiterate. I was devestated, but not enough to stop. They told me that it would be ok to run some book one on her at home as long as she knew what I was doing. So I sat her down and had her start reading. She was having a hard time of it so I sat down and started to do some word clearing. Way out R. Do you know what it feels like when a dictionary hits your head? She really didn't want anything to do with the TECH. I had no idea what that was going to
    cause later on down the line.

    More next time. Thanks for letting me blow off some charge
  2. _brian

    _brian WogRevert

    Hey GreyWolf, Great start to a story we all like to read. And :welcome: to ESMB!

  3. Wisened One

    Wisened One Crusader

    :welcome: to ESMB, Graywolf! (Love the username!)

    Thanks so much for joining here and starting your story! And please.....:drama:....don't stop now! :drama:

  4. Alanzo

    Alanzo Bardo Tulpa

    You've got me hanging by a thread...

    Keep going!
  5. Kathy (ImOut)

    Kathy (ImOut) Gold Meritorious Patron

    More, please. You can't leave us hanging.
  6. angel

    angel Patron with Honors

    WELCOME Grey Wolf

    Hey I used to live up in the high desert too. I don't think there was a mission there back then. I remember there was a school called the ranch,
    but I never knew exactly where it was.

    How is your wife now? Did she continue to stay far away from Scn? She had good instincts. You reminded me of a time when my Mom was waiting for me in the ethics hallway because she was my ride and I was very sick from the purif. She was listening to the ethics cycles which was so out R for her. All she heard was coersion. She was fine before because the Org was getting me off of drugs, she even paid for my purif. After the ethics cycle she was very anti-scientology and would always bring it up. It wasnt my cycle she was listening to, it was the one in the next room.

  7. tookmeawhile

    tookmeawhile Patron with Honors

    Welcome GreyWolf,

    Wow; you went right into your story with a bang!

    I'm waiting for more... :thumbsup:
  8. GreyWolf

    GreyWolf Gold Meritorious Patron

    High desert

    Thanks for asking.
    The mission was in Hesperia, right next to Victorville
  9. GreyWolf

    GreyWolf Gold Meritorious Patron

    Thanks ALL

    Thank you all for your loving responses. More tomorow.
  10. dontscamme

    dontscamme Patron Meritorious


    Here is one more :welcome2: for you.

    I'll bet you never imagined just how low that salary could be.

    I remember that "honeymoon" period, though I was public only. For me the thrill lasted only a few weeks, and before too long I began to feel that it was not worth the time, money, and effort.

    Hope to see more of your story soon!
  11. Mystic

    Mystic Crusader

    Very interesting story, GreyWolf. What a fkn scam those people are. Trickery, treachery and lies.

    I lived in Hisperia at one time.
  12. Carmel

    Carmel Crusader

    Good on you for jumping in, GreyWolf, and welcome! :)

    Looking forward to getting to know ya! :cheers:
  13. Voltaire's Child

    Voltaire's Child Fool on the Hill

  14. programmer_guy

    programmer_guy True Ex-Scientologist


    Would you provide the approximate dates/years when this stuff happened? Just curious.

    Regards :)
  15. MostlyLurker

    MostlyLurker Patron Meritorious

    Welcome GreyWolf!

  16. I told you I was trouble

    I told you I was trouble Suspended animation

    Hello Greywolf and

    :welcome2: :welcome2:


    I am looking forward to getting to know you.


    PS We have lots of new smilies!!
  17. Div6

    Div6 Crusader

    Greetings Grey Wolf. I see you have met the ESMB "Wall of Love". :D

    I look forward to reading more of your story.
  18. Tiger Lily

    Tiger Lily Gold Meritorious Patron

    Greywolf I sure can relate to your story . . .the feeling of being valuable, of finding a way to help the world, and wanting to be at the mission. My hubby even talked to the missionholder because he was freaked out that I'd changed so much. Can't wait for more!

    Last edited: Aug 26, 2009
  19. GreyWolf

    GreyWolf Gold Meritorious Patron

    Part two: Hope and Heartache and Hope

    First, let me back track for just a minute. Soemone here asked me for a timeline. This was mid 1987 in Hesperia, Calif. Hope that helps clarify a bit.
    And now, on with our story.

    I have to start off with one of the most effective tools in SCN. It is called "Reach and Withdraw". This action, if used right, is so effective that the mark has no idea that he has participated in his own flim-flam. It is holding the carrott in front of the horse but never quite close enough for him to bite. SCN has this part down to a verifiable science. I found this to be true in selling books. While you are talking to your potential customer about the valuable data in this book, you are holding the book our as if to hand it to him/her. Every once in a while, they will reach out to take it and then you take it back a little out of their reach. After a couple of times through this, they will litterally grab the book out of your hand. They get such a big win out of getting their hands on the book at last that they gladly hand over the five bucks. What a great SCAM! Little did I know that this was being practiced on me, on a gradient scale of course.

    So they finally spring the exec bit on me. On evening after course, they tell me to come in early the next day because the mission holder has to go into Orange county Org to do some kind of action and I need to go there so I can do my instant hat for my new post. What new post, I ask. I am going to be the PES. WOW! I am going to be the Public Exec Sec. I am going to be responsible for getting new people in to go up the Bridge to Total Freedom! What an Honor!

    Right now, if there are any poeple out there that I got on the Bridge, let me say I am extremely sorry.

    So They tell me all I have to do is show up to course. It is already paid for and the Routing Form is already done. I am on course at an Upper Org! Wow am I special or what? It was a very short pack and at the end I needed to do a clay demo on my end product. First time through and BAM. I had mass! I was so proud of myself I couldn't think strait. I went in and wrote up my win like a good little scientologist and went in and got my FN and was announced. Now I am ready for my post. Right? Not yet. When I get back to the mission that afternoon I get told that I have to write something called my Life History! WTF Man. You have to do this when you get on any major post. Alright. I did it and did it honestly. I was pretty sure that when they saw all the things I had done that I would be out on my ear and never to set foot in a SCN building again. (Of course now, I could only wish that were the case). Anyway, they let me know that I was still going
    to be the PES but that I wouldn't be able to sign a Billion Year contract this lifetime because of the LSD and PCP. Yeah. I had been a bad kid. I was upset and had to lick my wounds for a few days. However, through this I managed to let them see my ruin. Although at that time, I had been sober for a few years, I knew without a doubt that I was an alcoholic and I still had an urge to drink. I was told that alot of people had that problem and that when I went "CLEAR" it would probably go away. I was all for that. Let me say this really quick about that. LIARS!

    At this point, we had a public person on lines that was going to need to go on the Purif. He needed a twin on this because you cant do it alone. So they asked me if I would do it. Well I knew I was going to have to do it sooner or later anyway so why not. Also, because it was for a paying public and because I was on staff, This Major Action was free for me, Including the vitamins. I have to say this was an incredible action. I actually felt the years of alcohol and drug abuse flying off me! It took me almost a month to get through it because I had a whole lot of psychadelics and other crap in me but man when I comped, I really felt clean. Possibly for the first time in my life. That was a gigantic win and I wanted everyone I knew to have it too. This is all part of the trap. They give you some really big wins in a short while that you know you have to continue. I also knew, without a doubt, that for the first time in my life I had a PURPOSE! I was stepping
    into the trap of my own free will.

    Dec 31 1987 was the night of the big event that I mentioned in my introduction. The night that I should have said something but didn't. I saw
    the madness on DM's face. I saw the darkness in him. J heard "Ich lieber dich das Scientologie" in his voice. I also realized that if I had
    told anyone about how I felt at the moment, The very least that would happen would be a very long ethics cycle. So I kept my mouth shut. Damn
    Me! However most of that event was very uptone and there were a lot of good things happening (BS) at the time so I knew there was going to be
    big changes for me and the world coming up very soon. I know there has to be somebody out there saying, "couldn't this guy see what was going on?" The answer is NO! I had my blinders fixed firmly in place. I know, cause I put them on myself!

    I gotta take a break here and get some lunch. This is like a session. I feel a little better, Thanks everyone for all the love.

    Peace out for now.
  20. nexus100

    nexus100 Gold Meritorious Patron

    Thank you! Very well told story and much appreciated.