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Done playing by the rules of others.

holdemm

Patron
You know what will help you greatly to get used to the outside world, look up a local comedy school and take some improv classes.
 

byte301

Crusader
You know what will help you greatly to get used to the outside world, look up a local comedy school and take some improv classes.

Good idea. Laughter is very healing. Just watching comedy on the tube or at the movies gives you some relief.

FinallyMe, I'm sure most people are depressed at one time or another. If we did a poll I bet we'd find out that at least 99% of the people on this board have been depressed. We have been through something that would depress anyone.

I just feel bad that you thought you were alone with that. Like we all thought we were alone with no case gain, etc. in the cult. We weren't and you are far from alone.
 

Gadfly

Crusader
Like I say, no longer playing by the rules laid down by others.

Dave.

Good for you!:thumbsup:

THAT is a key thing to realize and do. Simply, no longer agree to play by their rules, within their framework of reality. I have been getting letters and calls from LA for years. I toss everything in the garbage and delete everything. I simply refuse to participate in any way with their approach to anything, and I stay out of their tight little ultra-controlled BOX.

Dealing with the Church is not unlike trying to have a conversation with a bag of hammers. Their ideas and framework are heavy, rigid and unmoving - like MEST. The ideology is rigidly defined - like matter. Like hammers. They cannot even see anything outside of their tightly-packed little box of reality. The second you assume otherwise, you are in some way allowing yourself to be controlled by them. Just Say No! Refuse to participate in any way with the charade.
 

GreyLensman

Silver Meritorious Patron
Dave -

excellent post. Thank you for communicating this. There is so much more available to help than "the only tech" bullshit. Luck to you.
--gl
 

Doom

Lurking.
Welcome

Yep thats right, now all you have to do is dust yourself off pick yourself up and keep those small steps coming!
Good on ya:thumbsup:
 
Time to play by the rules you make

Good that you are doing what is right for you, following your own best path. There are so many different types of therapy out there/out here. There's so many ways to help yourself and find the help you need from others.

Scientology preached against psychs so hard and long that it got to the point of ridiculous. I remember in early 1980's and someone at the LA complex was doing a survey asking what group was the most dangerous people/profession. All the good little, brainwashed churchies would reiterate what they had been fed in the orgs & at events: psychiatrists.....oooh, didn't that answer just make their survey so right. (Idiots!!!)

I've been away from Cof$ since the mid-eighties and am still dealing with the effects of the influence they had on me. But I also know what you are saying when you say it's not all the church. I felt I had a lot of problems and I thought that scn was going to help me with them.........

Well they define the word "help" differently.....more like "help themselves to the money they could get from me and let me think that I was going to get something wonderful in return"....never did, except for the temporary wonderfuls that came from the auditing I did get. And in the end, it didn't really help me the way I needed help. The church never really intended to bring healing to me.

Looking back, I find that most of the help they sold me worked only because of the effort I made to help myself. (Mostly I couldn't afford the auditing or courses, which always left me feeling inadequate.)

I was told as I was getting into scn that the more auditing i got, the more ability I would gain....... But I didn't have to wait for auditing to gain ability. I just started doing the things I really wanted to do, I started reading about the things I wanted to know more about. I think that the key here is just connecting to the things you want, the abilities you want. And most of it starts with small steps.

I've read and listened to a lot of different philosophies and practices since I left the church and have yet to find any ONE that solves everything. Now I just take what I want from each one and create the way the works for me....always creating my own rules.

I agree that you should not have to "play by the rules of others" Scn had us convinced that their rules would lead us to the things we most wanted And only their rules would lead us there. Well, it was all a big lure. But real life isn't like that.

Before scn, what helped me a lot was music and humor. Music that I like always puts me in a good place. (It still helps me, sooth me and inspire me when all the bad starts to get to me.) And since scn, humor has always helped me get through all the dullness of working regular jobs. There's just been some great humor via the tube. I know Britain has some great humorous shows because we get them via Public Broadcasting. British humor has always been to me a refreshing break from what we get mainstream in the US.

But mainly, like many of the others here have suggested, stay connected to other people (good people--ones you chose). Just coming to this board, even when it is just to read has been really great. I feel connected to others that not only have experienced something that I can't talk about with the other people in my life, but they have been through worse.

I know that I am suggesting a lot of the same things as other folks on this board. They seem to have come to the same conclusion about what makes for a better life. Finding Quality of Life is what we all need more of. If using the prescription drugs is allowing you to have more quality of life, then what is the downside, especially when speaking of depression.

One last thing, find enjoyment in the simple things in life. Too many people I see around here, where I live, don't do this. So they drink, do drugs, get into wrong or unworkable sexual liaisons and make their lives worse and don't have a clue how to create a better life for themselves if they even want to. The others I know appreciate the simple things in life. Sometimes it just takes something simple to remind me that, "hey, I'm going to get through this"

Stay connected. I am glad you are finding your way. Feel free to tell me more of what you are going through. It will also help me understand my nieces, both of who are on psychiatric medications.
 

Cherished

Silver Meritorious Patron
Dear Dave,

It sounds like you've been going through some turbulent times, but that you feel very hopeful about healing and recovering. The tone of your post is really hopeful - despite the difficulties that you mention. So, I feel encouraged for you and excited at the progress you are making. I'm really glad that telling your story here was significant in helping bring about these positives.

There's a lot to be encouraged about in your post - particularly that you aren't afraid (yippee!) of Scientology and that you are facing your illness and getting professional help for your depression and getting your life on track. From the moment I was diagnosed with depression I began to feel that I was recovering and every step I took to get better was a step toward life. There's so much beauty and love in this world. I pray that you experience it in all the little things of life, from the smell of freshly cut grass, to the beauty of flowers and trees and the joy of a random smile.

If I had any advice worth hearing it would be not to give up if the first or the second medication isn't right for you. Work with the docs to find the right one for you. Also, don't give up if the first or second counsellor isn't helpful for you. Persist and you'll find one who clicks and who really helps.

Lots of love to you.
C
 

_brian

WogRevert
<3 to you

Dave, that is extremely brave to bare or reveal such a personal snapshot of your suffering and efforts to hold on, move and carry on.

With out the availability or afford-ability(?) of professional intensive and extensive assistance, it is hard to know what to do. I did, when I had the opportunity to try a couple medications, but it was not right and I had no funds to continue investigating a combination of therapies.

I have been trying to weave my personal experiences with depression, and how it has dictated the direction of my life, in the story I recently started, your post was the impetus to get me to do it, though I mostly run off at the fingers on the keyboard, hopefully I'll be able to get to the point and show another perspective and angle of how the organization of scientology neglects and even worsens individuals with these issues especially when finally dumped out in life after losing all your youth and energy.

I sincerely don't intend to take away or distract from your OP topic.

I have had to counsel myself just about daily for the last few years, to try to believe that my life has more value than just being someones son, brother, father, etc. The "spiritual" pain, loneliness, is sometimes too overwhelming and (the bureaucratic aspect of social services) society doesn't seem to have the capacity to deal with ordinary citizens, without being subjected to cold sterile institutions.

Take care Dave and at least be your best friend.

Brian
 
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Cherished

Silver Meritorious Patron
I have had to counsel myself just about daily for the last few years, to try to believe that my life has more value than just being someones son, brother, father, etc.
Dear Brian, what a sensitive and compassionate post. This post alone tells me that you are a valuable person and I'm very glad you are here. You are not alone.
 

Outethicsofficer

Silver Meritorious Patron
Welcome Dave

Man, good on you! I know many have very valid reasons for not coming out and saying who they are and so until they can or they are able to they should stay with that. I say F the rules, scientology is full of them, I can only guess at your journey and how it was for you, but from the sound of it you've had a rough time! Take the small steps, add them together, don't let any f**ker screw with ya, on who's authority is it that there is anything wrong with any of us anyway? L Ron Hubbard....?:lol:

We have had 1000s of years of thinking men and women trying to sort man out, look how much shit that has got us into. Who needs it, too much invalidation, too much evaluation.

I contend that if we were simply allowed to exist, no pushing, no prodding, no "now let me see" type of thing we would actually settle out. So talk about those things you want to talk about let no one evaluate for you on those thoughts, think what the f you like.

Well done on standing up and being out as to who you are, if you run into anything weird on your lines from doing that just let us know, but to put it into perspective as yet I have had nothing come across my lines, nothing!
Mind you, I am very prepared for anyone. Simple things but very effective.

James






I have been away from the board for a while. Coming to the board and telling my story was hugely benificial for me and I inadvertantly dealt with some deep seated personal issues whilst posting here. The result was that various mechanisms I habitually used to deal with stresses in life were actually blown away. I didn't realise this until I finally had a total break down.
now I find I have the chance to start again with my life in many ways. I am slowly relearning how to interact with others and how to interact with the world in general. Scientology is not singularly responsible for my innability to deal with life's stresses and problems, but it plays it's part without doubt.

So to the point.

My name is Dave Robson.

I am a musician, though hopefully not full time for much longer.

I have long term depression.

Scientology helped me to continue to hide my problems and failed miserably in helping me to deal with them.

If there truly are people lurking here with bad intentions.... then screw you. I don't care any more. I have no fear of some deluded twat knowing who I am.

I have now been as low as I can possibly be. I have sought real, professional help. I am now starting a long and challenging journey to turn myself into a regular functioning adult. Not a deluded fool believing dangerous lies created only to fleece me.

Like I say, no longer playing by the rules laid down by others.

Dave.
 

_brian

WogRevert
Dear Brian, what a sensitive and compassionate post. This post alone tells me that you are a valuable person and I'm very glad you are here. You are not alone.

<3 Cherished, for you seeing something, I do try to hone my respect and understanding of others.

Brian
 
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