Time to play by the rules you make
Good that you are doing what is right for you, following your own best path. There are so many different types of therapy out there/out here. There's so many ways to help yourself and find the help you need from others.
Scientology preached against psychs so hard and long that it got to the point of ridiculous. I remember in early 1980's and someone at the LA complex was doing a survey asking what group was the most dangerous people/profession. All the good little, brainwashed churchies would reiterate what they had been fed in the orgs & at events: psychiatrists.....oooh, didn't that answer just make their survey so right. (Idiots!!!)
I've been away from Cof$ since the mid-eighties and am still dealing with the effects of the influence they had on me. But I also know what you are saying when you say it's not all the church. I felt I had a lot of problems and I thought that scn was going to help me with them.........
Well they define the word "help" differently.....more like "help themselves to the money they could get from me and let me think that I was going to get something wonderful in return"....never did, except for the temporary wonderfuls that came from the auditing I did get. And in the end, it didn't really help me the way I needed help. The church never really intended to bring healing to me.
Looking back, I find that most of the help they sold me worked only because of the effort I made to help myself. (Mostly I couldn't afford the auditing or courses, which always left me feeling inadequate.)
I was told as I was getting into scn that the more auditing i got, the more ability I would gain....... But I didn't have to wait for auditing to gain ability. I just started doing the things I really wanted to do, I started reading about the things I wanted to know more about. I think that the key here is just connecting to the things you want, the abilities you want. And most of it starts with small steps.
I've read and listened to a lot of different philosophies and practices since I left the church and have yet to find any ONE that solves everything. Now I just take what I want from each one and create the way the works for me....always creating my own rules.
I agree that you should not have to "play by the rules of others" Scn had us convinced that their rules would lead us to the things we most wanted And only their rules would lead us there. Well, it was all a big lure. But real life isn't like that.
Before scn, what helped me a lot was music and humor. Music that I like always puts me in a good place. (It still helps me, sooth me and inspire me when all the bad starts to get to me.) And since scn, humor has always helped me get through all the dullness of working regular jobs. There's just been some great humor via the tube. I know Britain has some great humorous shows because we get them via Public Broadcasting. British humor has always been to me a refreshing break from what we get mainstream in the US.
But mainly, like many of the others here have suggested, stay connected to other people (good people--ones you chose). Just coming to this board, even when it is just to read has been really great. I feel connected to others that not only have experienced something that I can't talk about with the other people in my life, but they have been through worse.
I know that I am suggesting a lot of the same things as other folks on this board. They seem to have come to the same conclusion about what makes for a better life. Finding Quality of Life is what we all need more of. If using the prescription drugs is allowing you to have more quality of life, then what is the downside, especially when speaking of depression.
One last thing, find enjoyment in the simple things in life. Too many people I see around here, where I live, don't do this. So they drink, do drugs, get into wrong or unworkable sexual liaisons and make their lives worse and don't have a clue how to create a better life for themselves if they even want to. The others I know appreciate the simple things in life. Sometimes it just takes something simple to remind me that, "hey, I'm going to get through this"
Stay connected. I am glad you are finding your way. Feel free to tell me more of what you are going through. It will also help me understand my nieces, both of who are on psychiatric medications.