I think it was on this trip, or perhaps the one before, that I saw Tom Cruise get on the level. Of course Tom was given the VIP treatment – this went as far as the fact that he had a full time Qual consultant as his personal twin. This meant that compared to everyone else he zoomed through the course as he only ever one way flowed it. And as there were only 3 Qual consultants – everyone else had to share 2 !!! so anyone needing a Qual consult had to join a queue !
Tom also never had to do any of the security stuff. His personal Qual consultant did all the opening and closing of all the security doors and the carrying around of the security card and briefcase. Now all of you who have been on the level know how shit scared and paranoid one can get about all the security regulations and what a drag it is carrying that frigging briefcase with you all the time . Well Tom had none of that.
He also had a bodyguard who met him outside the courseroom and escorted both Tom and the Qual consultant to the TWO penthouse suites across the road, where Tom and his kids and their DOG stayed whilst he was getting on the level . Oh the privileges of the rich and famous. But I personally thought he missed out on getting to know a whole bunch of terrific guys because he wasn't able to talk to any of the other public on the level. For me meeting new guys and re-connecting with old friends were the highlights of my Flag trips !!!
After I returned home I felt that I had to really change things to help my hubby – he was still auditing on the level but he had become quite depressed about our situation and nothing was helping him through it. He loved our little girl so much that her now obvious dubious future was too much for him to bare – he felt he could not create the future at all. How could this happen ... what had we done wrong ???. I had written it up to the CS , just in case somehow hubby had forgotten to mention it in his multitude of worksheets ( like yeh ! ) - still nothing had changed.:confused2:
Hubby had said he wanted to have a rural property and so I handled my considerations on this and we sold our house and bought a 5,300 acre cattle and sheep property. The idea was that he could work on the property and earn an income whilst also being near us to help out with our daughter. Initially this went well - lots of MEST and new things to confront - I was feeling quite revitalised and hubby was doing better.
But it was not long before a nation wide drought hit !!! This meant having to pay to feed the stock and lots of hard work to just to keep them alive. And to make matters even worse, one year after learning to walk, our daughter's left foot and leg had twisted so badly that she could no longer walk !
I searched for and found a new type of therapy to handle this “structural collapse” on her left side - at least I was only required to do 3 hours a day of this ! But all in all we were back to doing it tough !
Our financial situation was seriously under pressure – I started to fund raise to pay for her therapy . It felt odd to have to do this given that we had hundreds of thousands of dollars on account in the Church. But I did not care I wanted to make it go right – and I managed to raise enough funds to cover her expenses for 2 years.
Why did we continue on – persisting with solo nots when we were having such a hard time ?
Well I think there were a numerous reasons. Some of these would be ...
You are trained and drilled within an inch of your life to be a solo “auditor” – it is your responsibility to get the “PC” through it – the way out is the way through, so its not really a matter of whether or not “you” are doing well – the level is not really addressing “you” - so it's a matter of applying the tech standardly and continuing until the EP is achieved . ( The effect on “you” and your life is a by product of handling the hidden influences of these other beings ).
Also you so strongly believe that you are on the path to total freedom and you are on the last step of negative gain – after this its all positive gain – stuff for YOU – and now you are almost there – just persist. Remember what turns it on will turn it off !
Further if you give up – it is a bit of a long route to get back on if you change your mind. Yep long re-training cycles and long audited set-ups – definitely to be avoided at all costs.
Someone else, I think on this board, also compared being a Scientologist to the movie "The Truman Show". I love this analogy and call the phenomena “my Truman bubble”. So you see I was in "the bubble". I evaluated my whole life according to Scientology – so my lack of progress was something to do with me – it could be MU's, MWH's, evil purps, or some bizarre case factor not yet exposed – there had to be something and it would get found eventually and handled because my future eternity was at stake !
For me there was also a personal factor - I had NEVER failed at anything before in my life - so now I just decided I wasn't going to fail at this - I was going to DO IT !!!!
It's the greatest.
I also quickly learned that the time to complete isn't what is written on the check sheet. 
