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PAC Staff Secrets

Discussion in 'Staff "War Stories"' started by duddins, Nov 11, 2007.

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  1. Div6

    Div6 Crusader

    I for one, would be fascinated to hear some "unwashed" stories of what it was like to be around, and work for, LRH. Particularly in his seclusion years.

    If you have the time and are so inclined, of course.

    Thanks.
     
  2. CindyHall

    CindyHall New Member

    WOW to the response....more

    The Truth Really is what it is...BUT what happens when the distortions of truth become the reality and those that are distorting are really dillusional...Example: David M.....he's classic. Projects like the one Bernadette was placed on was a classic David M. project. I can't even begin to tell you how many people were persecuted at Flag and Palm Desert with the same type of privacy invasion.

    I know it is hard for people to believe and really know what LRH was like and who he really was...brilliant..visionary yes but there was so much more that so few know and will tell. Annie - Pat - Terri and Gerri - Gail and so many more ...they know...we all knew but no one said it and god forbid think it during a sec check.

    If more people really knew how orders were distributed down the line, what was deleted and added along the way I suspect it would change the entire perspective which in truth, at least my truth, should be done. Celebrities like Cruise and the like have no idea and neither did 90% of the SO staff let alone those out in the field in Missions.

    It has been so long since I thought about this and probably for a reason but it feels good to talk about it and share. I hope it helps relieve some pain and enlighten those that are interested.

    Cindy
     
  3. Alanzo

    Alanzo Bardo Tulpa

    I'm sure it will Cindy.

    Thanks for being here.

    Welcome.
     
  4. Dulloldfart

    Dulloldfart Squirrel Extraordinaire

    Yes. Bring it on. :)

    Paul
     
  5. Div6

    Div6 Crusader

    What he said.

    I know that I withheld a lot becuase I thought "other people wouldn't understand", and that I still had feelings of loyalty despite the betrayals.
    But, I was on a withhold. And people can see the truth. Witness the "expansion" under DM.

    Peace.
     
  6. CindyHall

    CindyHall New Member

    Classic Withhold - LRH and more

    Do you know how many people felt they were withholding when in fact what they were doing was just denying the truth - the reality. This is not to say that LRH was "bad". Everyone felt the confliction between loyalty to Scientology, LRH and world peace and harmony and that which was our reality.

    Here is a sample of "midnight watch". As a new messenger whereever LRH was you always got Midnight Watch". Watches were broken up in to 6 hour increments. There always had to be 2 messengers ideally 3 with him at all times. When he would sleep we would sit outside his room. He would always wake in the middle of the night usually yelling. There was a smell - dust or he didn't feel good. We would cook at 2:0o in the morning and god forbid we burn the meal. But there were great times - wonderful times - moments that he would sit in his chair or on the edge of his bed and tell you something so profound so moving that you would literally go OT on the spot. But then there were the "crazy" times...there would be dust....keep in mind we had 3 static cleaners and commercial filters in all room along with tile floors..we would some times end up scrubbing down an entire room at 4:00 in the morning while he was moved to a different room. Does that sound particularly sane to you? But then fhe fine line of sanity and genius. I am here, barely, to tell you I saw it and lived it.

    So in closing on this story - where was the withhold here? Was it with me because I had the thoughts like "dude...this guy is nuts" but he's our leader..and what the hell do you do with that thought....R/S probably so you don't ever think it or was the real withhold with him for not recognizing and auditing out his own demons and letting us know that he too was constantly evolving? Wouldn't that have been more than enlightened and helpful? Just thinking out loud..

    Thank you for having this forum. Cindy
     
  7. Div6

    Div6 Crusader

    Wow. I was wondering about this the other day. This kind of hypersensitivity to smells, and so on has been listed as one of the symptoms of chronic yeast infections. Which typically occur when the diet is heavily acidic and the body has lost the "good" intestinal flora and fauna.


    LRH was "self-C\Sing" for the longest of times....no one is above "mis-assigning cause"...sounds like he went off the deep end on some of his dynamics.

    The W\h is going to be different for different people, so it is not my place to tell you what it is....but some people withhold the truth, some withhold their ARCX's, some withhold their purps, some withhold their thoughts. One of the original definitions of responsibility was "ability to withhold". Obviously you were part of an elite with a purpose to "salvage this sector"....
     
  8. Alanzo

    Alanzo Bardo Tulpa

    You're justifying for LRH.

    Just look at the information as it is.

    Don't try to explain it away.
     
  9. Div6

    Div6 Crusader

    There is a difference between "justification" and "understanding".

    It is possible to do one, and not the other.

    It is also possible that he was just plain psycho. I am still in data collection mode, and have not rushed to judgement as some others have.

    ymmv
     
  10. Terril park

    Terril park Sponsor

    There is a group engram, probably several in fact.

    Please keep posting. You are helping.
     
  11. Alanzo

    Alanzo Bardo Tulpa

    You are still in data collection mode?

    What would you lose if you went out of data collection mode and came to a conclusion?
     
  12. TheSneakster

    TheSneakster Guest

    not important
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 25, 2012
  13. Alanzo

    Alanzo Bardo Tulpa

    But he's proceeding as if he is still a Scientologist. Which is largely based on the conclusion that Hubbard was a great OT who knew the secrets of the mind and life.

    And yet the evidence is overwhelming that there are no OTs, or Clears, as described by L Ron Hubbard, and that Hubbard himself behaved quite insanely.

    And so he's still in data collection mode?

    No. He has a conclusion that he is operating off of, based on old data.

    It's really a matter of giving up that old conclusion.

    It can be a hard thing to do, no matter how much data collection you do.

    But jeez. How much data do you really need?
     
  14. Div6

    Div6 Crusader

    What do you mean Alanzo? I have nothing but contempt for the CoS, DMology and all of that rat trap. You know that.

    What does "great OT" mean to you? I don't think in those terms.


    There have been many occupants of Earth. Some left great works of art. Some left the devastation of war. Some left wisdom. Some left money.
    Whether I like it or not LRH impacted my universe, and my life. I, for the most part, have found his materials more positive than negative. I have found his organizations to be dramatizing snake pits of varying depths. Was that what he intended? I don't think so. But 100 years from now, will he be seen as a good guy, a bad guy, or be totally obscured and buried?

    I don't know. But I keep my eyes open.

    You have unresolved upsets. You should resolve them instead of trying to push them off on others. Until you do, I suggest we talk about other things, as we will only clash.
     
  15. Alanzo

    Alanzo Bardo Tulpa

    This is another way you are justifying - to say that my conclusions are based on "unresolved upsets". That way, if they are, you can dismiss them as "case". Just like you dismiss Hubbard's insane actions as "case".

    It's a justification, a rationalization. It's a way to put off confronting something as it really is.

    That's why I say that you are not in data collection mode at all. You are still operating off of the same conclusion you made when you became a Scientologist. And that conclusion was not based on the data you have gathered since then.

    The data you have gathered since then has not been used by you to form another conclusion. It seems to have been placed in "the bin" for later consideration.
     
  16. Tanstaafl

    Tanstaafl Crusader

    Alanzo - maybe it's just not important. I'm very curious about Hubbard but I don't need to know. Also, I've come to accept that I will never know for sure what his goals were (and when).

    Sure, there is no evidence of OTs, but Clears?
    Forget all those "cause over mental mest" type definitions. The one that counts is "no longer has his own reactive mind". It implies no ability - not even that one is safeguarded from mocking it up again; which is what happens when you run a Clear on Dianetics. That's what seemed to happen to me anyway. :melodramatic:
     
  17. Div6

    Div6 Crusader

    Well, since you seem to know my mind so well, how will I vote in the upcoming election? I said nothing about "case". You did. I did not say that your conclusions were based on upsets, I just said you had them.

    I am looking.

    You seem to have fixed your idea pretty solidly.
     
  18. Zinjifar

    Zinjifar Silver Meritorious Sponsor

    There's no evidence for a 'reactive mind' itself, so, it's quite likely that none of us have this 'reactive mind', ignoring for the moment the 'no longer' having it, which is along the lines of 'have you stopped beating your wife yet...'

    Zinj
     
  19. Alan

    Alan Gold Meritorious Patron

    Every minute of everyday there is evidence of a reactive mind as there is also evidence of a reacting being.:omg:
     
  20. Vinaire

    Vinaire Sponsor

    A "clear" is the basic personality. It is a person's personality minus his aberrations.

    .