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Sam Crabtree - Grew Up In The Cult

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by Monkeyschimps, Jul 18, 2013.

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  1. Monkeyschimps

    Monkeyschimps Patron

    Hello, I'll just start all the way at the beginning. I was born in Largo, FL in 1983. My mom, Debbie, was the Tech Sec at Flag. My dad, Paul, was a Class 9 auditor. My sister, Tessa, was born shortly before we all moved to Los Angeles two years later so my dad could be in RTC and my mom went to FLO, which was at PAC at the time. I was in the Cadet Estates Org which was where the Celebrity Center Parking garage is now. I very rarely saw my dad, like every couple of weeks, but my mom would pick us up every night around 10:30 after we had all gone to sleep on our cots, I think there were about 30 or 40 of us in one big room. I have a scar on my knee from one time when she picked us up, literally, and tried to carry us to our berthing. She fell down and I landed on her cigarette, which burned a scar into my knee. Sometimes I would get to see her and/or my dad at lunch time. At one point, I got to see my dad more often because he was suddenly a security guard for the PAC base. Then he disappeared for a while and my mom would t say where he was except maybe that he was in trouble. Then one day, much later, my mom came and got Tessa and I from the CEO and asked us if we'd like to see our daddy. We responded to the equivalent of "Hell, yes!" He was outside what I think is ASHO if I remember correctly. He was all in black with a black arm band. I already knew that was really, really bad. But I didn't care. He was down below us behind a fence, under a scaffold on the walkway down there. Him and another guy were doing some kind of work. We were unable to hug, but we exchanged hellos and that sort of thing. Then we had to leave because be had to get back to work. I think it was around this point that we started being bussed to a school in West Covina. I think I was 5. Probably some legal rudiment suddenly had to start being met. I liked the West Covina school. I learned spelling and numbers and that sort of thing. My dad must have gotten off the RPF at this point because be was now the school coach. It makes sense, he played college football. Well shortly after this when I was 5 or 6, my mom wanted the fuck out of the Sea Org. My dad has told me that he joined her only because he wanted to be with us kids. They traded their e-meter for this old tan hatchback that actually served us well for a few years. We moved out to Yucca Valley, CA, which is about 45 mins north of Palm Springs, up in the Morongo Basin. Sea Org members would stop by every couple of years to have some convo with my dad and mom. Probably mostly my dad because he was a Class 9 auditor. Plus, my dad always told us he planned in going back to the SO. They divorced when I was 10, so 1993. About a year later, my dad asked Tessa and I if we would mind if he moved away from us, to Colorado so he could pursue his dreams of owning a civil engineering company. We told him it was fine, but it really affected me. I've never asked my sister about it. We stayed with our mom until I was 12 and then I spent 7th grade in Colorado. I had already told my mom I hated doing conditions and I wasn't going to do it anymore. I moved back to California for 8th grade, got into drugs and alcohol at the tender age of 13, lost my virginity, performed acts of vandalism, usual teenage stuff? My mom was working at the radio station as a DJ at the time. Eventually, Tessa and I moved back in with my dad when I was almost 15 so we could go to the California Ranch School, an unaccredited Scientolgy school that, I think was part of the Sea Org group Applied Scholastics. It was there that my life started to improve because of Scientology. You know, that early stage where you're treated with kid gloves and shown the stuff that hooks you until you commit yourself to the church, before all the human rights violations begin. So, we were living in Santa Ana, CA, riding the Metrolink commuter train to Riverside every morning and taking public transport home every day. I loved that we didn't have any homework. Tessa filled out a personality test at school and was called in. She did a course and them I twinned with her on another one. We were off to the races. We started going on course, did the Purif, etc. I joined staff at 16 going on 17 for 6 months but crapped out because of a study bug. There's an Elron reference that says a person has three months to finish Staff Status 2 or they're out, but no one paid attention to that. And I wanted to leave almost the entire time. I was out for about 6 months, doing odd jobs, eventually started working for FatPipeU, a company which uses the Scilon study technology to teach people how to install cable. I did well at it and then was recruited for the Sea Org. End of part 1, gotta go.
  2. La La Lou Lou

    La La Lou Lou Crusader

    Oooooooh good stories!

    Welcome MonkeySchimps!
  3. Purple Rain

    Purple Rain Crusader


    Welcome, Monkeyschimps! I loved reading the first instalment of your story. Thank you for sharing that with us.
  4. pollywog

    pollywog Patron with Honors

    Welcome. Thanks for the story! Looking forward to the rest...
  5. Lulu Belle

    Lulu Belle Moonbat

    I'm trying to remember what Paul Crabtree went to the RPF for. I know it was for auditing someone important where the person later became a problem.

    I think he was Vicky Aznaran's auditor.

    Does that sound right? Does anyone else remember?

    I remember hearing that he wasn't ever allowed to audit again. If they were recruiting him to go back in, I guess all must have been forgiven about that.... :eyeroll:
  6. Lurker5

    Lurker5 Gold Meritorious Patron

    Hello, Monkeychimps, :wave: and :welcome2: MOAR ! :drama:
  7. Monkeyschimps

    Monkeyschimps Patron

    Yes, he was Vicky Azneran's auditor. I asked my mom about it when I was 16 or 17 when I was just starting to really go balls deep into the religion. She told me that he had falsified auditor's reports on Vicky Azneran. I asked my dad about it and all he would say is that I should never violate policy just because a senior told me to.

    As for never auditing again, I've never heard that, but it could be true. But it could also be rescinded at the wave of DM's hand, like everything else in Scilonville.

    How do you know about it? I'd be interested to hear any tidbits you might have. I am fascinated by that period in Scientology's history. It was always so mysterious and cloaked in mystery for me. I read L Ron Hubbard: Messiah or Madman and it was pretty cathartic.
  8. Dean Blair

    Dean Blair Silver Meritorious Patron

    I remember Paul Crabtree at AOLA. I was a NOTs auditor and then a C/S from 1979 to 1991 when I left. I liked Paul a lot but never got to know him well as he left AOLA.

    Your story reminds me of my son Brad Blair who was doing the EPF in about 1991 or 1992. He did not want to be there and purposely stalled on the courses so they would throw him out. They didn't throw him out though and he was given a post after finishing the EPF. Brad routed out of the Sea Org in 93 or 94. I was not aware of all that was going on with him at the time and only found out about it later. It is so sad how Scientology hurts families as it does. There is no care or consideration for the children or their parents.

    My son and I are in very good communication now and I do hope that your story has a happy ending.
  9. Monkeyschimps

    Monkeyschimps Patron

    Part 2

    Let me start by saying that my first post and this post are just my opinions, they may or may not be true.

    I was recruited by the New World Corps when I was 17. I was on TRs & Objectives at the OC Org when they first started recruiting me. They would show up to my work at FatPipeU and wait for me outside so they could talk to me on breaks and at lunch and then they would drive me home or to the org and keep talking to me. Many, many hours of recruiting.

    My dad was actually trying to keep them at bay pretty hardcore. I don't think he felt I could handle the Sea Org. I was kind of a mess back then. One of my recruiters actually wrote a KR on him because he turned her away from our front door so sternly.

    So, it was Rose Maracle, HAS at NWC International, Trevor Sales and (I think) Daniel Gardener, both recruiters, if I'm not mistaken who finally got me into the Sea Org. My main objection whenever they asked why I don't join was, "I don't want to." It didn't sound like much fun and was kind of a scary proposition.

    But what happened was my dad went out of town on a business trip for two weeks and that's when the recruiters really poured on the coals. Trevor and Daniel stayed at my house one night in an effort to coach me through convincing my dad to sign the paper work. They couldn't wait the 6 months until I turned 18, apparently. My dad raged on the phone. He was pissed the fuck off. But I kept using my TRs on him and that enraged him further. Nothing worse than using TRs on a person who knows what they are when they're pissed. No success there.

    The recruiters took me down to CC Int to show me around. This is where they were going to station me, they said. NWC CCI. It was getting late. We were at the make or break point. I called my dad again. He had demands. I was to finish my TRs and Objectives before going in. He knew I wouldn't be able to finish them once I joined. I told him that sounded reasonable and stopped using TRs on him and just talked to him like I normally would. He finally got through to me to where I wasn't being the recruiter's puppet anymore.

    I had called my dad from an unused office and private office, so I went out to tell the recruiters that I wanted to wait until I finished TRs and Objectives. They were crestfallen. My dad had sold me, not the other way around. They convinced me to call him back up and convince him to let me join with the promise that I could hop right back on TRs and Objectives right after I finished the Estates Project Force. He finally conceded. He mentioned that the reason he was letting me do this was because I started to talk to him like a normal person finally.

    And I wasn't joining because I wanted to. I made that clear to everyone along the way. "I absolutely don't want to join or be here. I'm only doing it because I think it's the right thing to do." They let me join anyways.

    When I was packing, they told me, "Bring lots of socks." I had no idea why and I still don't. When I got there, I had way too many socks.

    I was first to do the CC EPF and then the FLO EPF. I took 3 months to complete the CC EPF. It's supposed to take 3 weeks, but they had just released the new Ethics book. This would have been 2000 or 2001. The new ethics book was so much thicker than the old one, it added several weeks to my already slow progress. I study like a bat out of hell now, with really good retention, but back then I was constantly second guessing myself because the study tech and almost everything about Scientology makes you introvert onto what you're doing.

    I'm going to go on a tangent here real fast. The human brain is not designed to remember every fucking little thing about every God damned policy letter. Not all of us have photographic memories. I challenge any Scientologist to pass a star rate, wait 6 months and then try to pass it again without re-reading. It's almost impossible. We /have/ to keep refreshing our memories of things or we will forget. We only have so much RAM, for fuck's sake.

    The CC EPF was pretty much without incident. Besides the fact that it's a child labor force, essentially. It's a grueling schedule and you're yelled at all the time. Really great environment for an introverted kid. I remember just feeling constantly on edge and afraid that I was going to be yelled at again for something. I would constantly make mistakes and feel like the worst human being because I was letting Scientology down. I now know that in reality I was just a teenager growing up. We all make mistakes, but not all of us get screamed at for every single one.

    I remember one time, returning from Christmas, I got sick with a sore throat and fever. The MLO put me in Isolation and told me to rest up. He returned the next day to see how I was doing. I told him I felt a little better and he said to rest up and return to post when I was ready. He didn't stop by the next day. My mom had sent me a care package filled with protein bars and junk. I sneaked to the EPF dorms when I knew nobody would be there and grabbed the box with all the food in it and then sneaked back to Isolation. I spent the next two days reading the books they had in there, eating the protein bars and drinking from the tap. I convinced myself that I still had sniffles. It was glorious. When I had enough rest and I was starting to feel like I was going to get in huge trouble if I didn't report back, I packed all my stuff and headed back to the MLO. I pretended that I had been waiting for him to give me the go-ahead to return to post, but I knew. He didn't say anything about it to the EPF I/C because he knew he dropped the ball and the EPF I/C didn't say a word about it. It was great. A little window of privacy and human rights for a few days.

    I had a few friends that came and went and the one I remember the most was Bowie Dinkel. We were fast friends. He was supposed to go to NWC too. When we cleaned the galley, we would play the Lion King soundtrack and sing and dance along if no one else was in there with us. It was hilarious. I wonder what he's up to these days. That would be awesome if he was out of Scilonville. I know he's been out of the SO for some time.

    Ugh. I remember one thing that was so wrong that I didn't think was so bad at the time. The Head Chef, I forget his actual title, was, like 36 or something and his wife was literally a 16 year old girl from Germany. He told us that he got the parents blessing and everything and explained that we are all 76 trillion years old, so it's all good. Gross!

    I eventually finished the CC EPF and went up to NWC Int Headquarters at the Hollywood Guaranty Building. At that time, the SO building across from it with the cafeteria in it was still heavily under renovations. Only the exterior had been completed. I remember my first lunch up on the 6th floor of the HGB. Very crowded, very low-quality food. Like, lettuce and deli ham slices for lunch with hard boiled eggs. It was a far cry from CC food, which was always fucking delicious, especially Sunday brunch leftovers. They had a smoking room up there too. It was almost always packed and they had a high power fan blasting smoke out into the air.

    Okay, part 2 over, I'm getting tired. Thanks for the positive responses!
  10. Monkeyschimps

    Monkeyschimps Patron

    Thanks, Dean. My dad and I have never really been close, unfortunately. I don't think he'll ever talk to me again. He is POWERFULLY drinking the Kool-aid. I was hoping to get my sister out, but I botched that when I was talking to her about everything, I got really pissed that she kept no-answering and just reading references whenever I would ask her an uncomfortable question. My mom has been disaffected for years and she doesn't care if a get declared, so at least I have that.

    I should point out that I am not yet declared and that I still work at a Scientology company. I have been out for years, but haven't mentioned it to anyone. My opinion on Scientology only came to light because my sister is on staff at the Dallas org and she was going to go on the TTC, but the MAA wanted to talk to me first. Because I consider the MAA position and Scientology itself to be a farce, I couldn't bring myself to actually walk in there and lie and continue the charade. So she eventually pulled all the info out of me and now I guess I'm ready to go public with this. I asked for a refund from the Coachman ($340) but have received no response to my voicemail. I will call again tomorrow.
  11. Boojuum

    Boojuum Silver Meritorious Patron

    I'm loving this. Reading actual stories of what it's actually like in the SO or on staff is very therapeutic for me.

    You're doing fabulous. Keep the stories coming.:thumbsup:
  12. Boojuum

    Boojuum Silver Meritorious Patron

    I would suggest getting a deeper understanding of the cult personality before discussing Scn with your sister again. There's a ton of information here and elsewhere that will help you understand where she's coming from as opposed to telling her what a scam it is and hoping she'll see the light and quit. There are a great deal of people who will eagerly assist you in putting together a plan to get your sister out. Simply asking for help on this message board should provide you with plenty of contacts. Good luck!
  13. kate8024

    kate8024 -deleted-

  14. Anonycat

    Anonycat Crusader

    You are supposed to know this, if you are a scientologist. I'll give you my DVD of: The Event That Changed Scientology Forever - Golden Age of Knowledge for Eternity, featuring COB to spell it out for you.

    Also, Clears do remember fucking everything.
  15. Smurf

    Smurf Gold Meritorious SP

    Sam, I hope you are aware that, by posting on this board, you have outted yourself to OSA & it will only be a matter of time before you are declared, disconnected & fired from your Scientology job. Just ask Derek Bloch.

    This board is monitored 24/7 by OSA. I'm happy you have the courage to speak out; I hope you are also aware of the risks. :)
  16. Smurf

    Smurf Gold Meritorious SP

    Bowie, sister Olivia, and mom Anne are on the (San Fernando) Valley Org lists as recent as 2012. I don't know what Bowie is doing now. His attempts at selling insurance via the Internet and web design venture (Rapture Development) didn't last long. If you're on FB, you can message him.. (Olivia has a 90s photo of her & Bowie on her FB page)

    If you message him, ask him how many doors he purchased... :biggrin:

  17. Kookaburra

    Kookaburra Gold Meritorious Patron

    Smurf, he's asked for a refund so OSA already knows.

    Fuck OSA!

    And welcome to the board, Monkeyschimps!
  18. Kookaburra

    Kookaburra Gold Meritorious Patron

    Everyone who audited Vicky Azneran was RPF'd. The very idea struck fear into the entire staff of Qual Gold. :nervous:

    Not even the folder page was immune from the wrath of Vicky's MWHs. :hide:

    It would be a bit like attempting to audit DM. :runaway:

    Your dad was brave.
  19. Boojuum

    Boojuum Silver Meritorious Patron

    The brutality of Scientology never ceases to amaze me.
  20. In present time

    In present time Gold Meritorious Patron

    not really relevant, but vicki aznaran was the wife of dean stokes, mission holder in dallas when i was on staff there back in the late seventies. once, when dean was a flag for a few months all the sudden vicki (at that time stokes) and rick aznaran would start coming down for breakfast together every morning, lol.

    my first daughter was born in 1987... she was a year old before i got married to her dad, (at the pasadena org) but thank - god i had the good sense to stay away from scn. after she was born. i cannot imagine having a scientologist your using TR's on your dad cracked me up and was also scary;)

    i'm loving your story!