Helena Handbasket
Gold Meritorious Patron
OH NO!! You mean I'm going to have to go through this again??
Helena
The Stupid Cupid Rundown
- Thread starter Helena Handbasket
- Start date
Helena
JustSheila
Crusader
lol! You're funny today.
Don't worry. You're energetic, still look good and you're interesting. When you show your sense of humour, you're pretty popular, too. It will come. Go easy on yourself.
Don't worry. You're energetic, still look good and you're interesting. When you show your sense of humour, you're pretty popular, too. It will come. Go easy on yourself.
hbeer
Patron with Honors
Hi Helena,
I find your "Stupid Cupid Rundown" very interesting. I believe it can work (only that I would use Clearbird's "DEEP Incident Clearing" instead of R3RA in the Dianetics step).
It confirms an old theory of mine - namely that there are different flavours of auditors and that each of them attracts their own clientele. One auditor attracts past life clients, another attracts clients who explore karmic ramifications, a third one finds that UFO abductees will flock to him. I had one client tell me that in session with me there will be issues coming up that he does not get with any other auditor, so it seems that even in the same client different matters will be "energized" as you call it, depending on the auditor's reality and viewpoint. Must be a matter of resonance or something.
This has (also) to do with your use of Excalibur. Regarding the influence of disembodied spirits on the case, I have encountered a whole array of viewpoints and opinions, ranging from full-blown enthusiasts (one of my most treasured auditor friends said that NOTs was the single most important process in his case - Excalibur would be the more evolved version of this), all the way to grim adversaries, who maintain that all that counts for processing progress is the client's own actions and reactions, especially in the case of intense interactions with other people.
If we look very closely, there is not such a big difference whether these people are incarnated ( = the ordinary human being) or not ( = entities, clusters, or formerly embodied and now discarnate spirits with a human history). It all comes down to an INFLUENCE or even an IMPACT of an energy that is not sourced by the client himself. So what we are basically looking at is a client's processing of the OTHER-DETERMINISM layer of his case. Your example of a monitor energizing an existing connection between two terminals is especially interesting, because it demonstrates the 3rd party law on a non-incarnated level, which is an even more unusual scenario than a 3rd party situation between incarnated people - something that is often not suspected and detected.
For myself as an auditor and co-developer of Clearbird's DEEP approach, the ideal method to handle all such situations is DEEP, where the packages of efforts, emotions and thoughts are all thoroughly discharged, while with other processes there will be leftovers of charge on the the effort layer which can restimulate the whole scenario again. You have read it, but for others following this thread I would like to give the link to LRH's views on this.
http://completeyourbridge.org/References/CYBReferences.htm#effort
LRH once had effort processing on the grade chart in Grade IV, but according to Dan Koon, who worked closely with him in the development of technical materials, he then took it out of Grade IV because it was so essential to the case that it should have been used everywhere in auditing, not only on Grade IV. Instead, it disappeared from auditor training entirely and fell completely out of use. This is an omission as flagrant as leaving out the law of gravity in a student's education in physics - LRH talks about this in a C/Sing HCOB. In DEEP, Clearbird brings effort processing back into general use and with that, hopefully restores the full potential of auditing.
Disembodied human spirits and other discarnate entities/clusters are considered valid viewpoints of theta in this approach and will be covered if the client has reality on them. But like incarnated people, they have efforts and impulses - an energy more dense than thoughts or emotions, which can result in ridges (masses) when they engage in a conflict. These remaining ridges act upon the client's own construct of masses by principles like similarity, resonance, affinity even. "Like attracts like". By sorting out ownership and discharging each element from the viewpoint who owns them, all these energies will ultimately dissolve.
There is, however, an additional issue which is not included in any auditing technology that I have studied. Instead, it is covered by important and more mainstream contemporary approaches like the one by past life regression pioneer Brian Weiss (who on the other hand does not have the tech to completely discharge the DEEP elements in his clients' incidents). It is the idea of the LESSON LEARNED. Since we talked about flavours of auditors, I would be the one who sees a case from the life lesson angle.
It is my theory that case scenarios, even if fully discharged in flawless auditing, will repeat themselves in a new unit of time until the client has learned the lesson or lessons about the themes that are touched by these scenarios - as if the universe were keeping an eye on an invisible checksheet where unlearned lessons are highlighted. It will stage events and bring in "actors" - key people, which can include discarnate entities - to populate these events, until the lesson is learned and is checked off, at which time the next item on the checksheet will come into view.
It is further my theory that the universe is doing this for us only if we are in "passive learning" mode. At every moment we can opt out of the (larger) group of people who let life write their scripts, and join the (smaller) group of people who are in "active learning" mode, or in other words, who decide what life lesson to work on. They design their own checksheets, they evolve at their own pace. Here is the chapter referring to this on my "Life Lesson Processing" website:
http://life-lessons.eu/TheoryEn/TTHumanTLEn.htm#active
In my reality, all processing is best used in the life lesson context, or in other words, by following the threads of a certain theme, rather than following sensations or somatics or emotions, like it is done in traditional Dianetics. This will optimize the ARCU triangle. If we first establish perfect C, then the R and then the A belonging to one theme and shift all these elements up the tone scale by removing negative energy, this results in perfect U = Understanding. And perfect understanding equals "lesson learned" - across the incarnations, across the planets and universes. It covers the whole fabric of a person's existence.
This is how I would rig up auditing after an initial life repair. My own personal flavour, if you will
I find your "Stupid Cupid Rundown" very interesting. I believe it can work (only that I would use Clearbird's "DEEP Incident Clearing" instead of R3RA in the Dianetics step).
It confirms an old theory of mine - namely that there are different flavours of auditors and that each of them attracts their own clientele. One auditor attracts past life clients, another attracts clients who explore karmic ramifications, a third one finds that UFO abductees will flock to him. I had one client tell me that in session with me there will be issues coming up that he does not get with any other auditor, so it seems that even in the same client different matters will be "energized" as you call it, depending on the auditor's reality and viewpoint. Must be a matter of resonance or something.
This has (also) to do with your use of Excalibur. Regarding the influence of disembodied spirits on the case, I have encountered a whole array of viewpoints and opinions, ranging from full-blown enthusiasts (one of my most treasured auditor friends said that NOTs was the single most important process in his case - Excalibur would be the more evolved version of this), all the way to grim adversaries, who maintain that all that counts for processing progress is the client's own actions and reactions, especially in the case of intense interactions with other people.
If we look very closely, there is not such a big difference whether these people are incarnated ( = the ordinary human being) or not ( = entities, clusters, or formerly embodied and now discarnate spirits with a human history). It all comes down to an INFLUENCE or even an IMPACT of an energy that is not sourced by the client himself. So what we are basically looking at is a client's processing of the OTHER-DETERMINISM layer of his case. Your example of a monitor energizing an existing connection between two terminals is especially interesting, because it demonstrates the 3rd party law on a non-incarnated level, which is an even more unusual scenario than a 3rd party situation between incarnated people - something that is often not suspected and detected.
For myself as an auditor and co-developer of Clearbird's DEEP approach, the ideal method to handle all such situations is DEEP, where the packages of efforts, emotions and thoughts are all thoroughly discharged, while with other processes there will be leftovers of charge on the the effort layer which can restimulate the whole scenario again. You have read it, but for others following this thread I would like to give the link to LRH's views on this.
http://completeyourbridge.org/References/CYBReferences.htm#effort
LRH once had effort processing on the grade chart in Grade IV, but according to Dan Koon, who worked closely with him in the development of technical materials, he then took it out of Grade IV because it was so essential to the case that it should have been used everywhere in auditing, not only on Grade IV. Instead, it disappeared from auditor training entirely and fell completely out of use. This is an omission as flagrant as leaving out the law of gravity in a student's education in physics - LRH talks about this in a C/Sing HCOB. In DEEP, Clearbird brings effort processing back into general use and with that, hopefully restores the full potential of auditing.
Disembodied human spirits and other discarnate entities/clusters are considered valid viewpoints of theta in this approach and will be covered if the client has reality on them. But like incarnated people, they have efforts and impulses - an energy more dense than thoughts or emotions, which can result in ridges (masses) when they engage in a conflict. These remaining ridges act upon the client's own construct of masses by principles like similarity, resonance, affinity even. "Like attracts like". By sorting out ownership and discharging each element from the viewpoint who owns them, all these energies will ultimately dissolve.
There is, however, an additional issue which is not included in any auditing technology that I have studied. Instead, it is covered by important and more mainstream contemporary approaches like the one by past life regression pioneer Brian Weiss (who on the other hand does not have the tech to completely discharge the DEEP elements in his clients' incidents). It is the idea of the LESSON LEARNED. Since we talked about flavours of auditors, I would be the one who sees a case from the life lesson angle.
It is my theory that case scenarios, even if fully discharged in flawless auditing, will repeat themselves in a new unit of time until the client has learned the lesson or lessons about the themes that are touched by these scenarios - as if the universe were keeping an eye on an invisible checksheet where unlearned lessons are highlighted. It will stage events and bring in "actors" - key people, which can include discarnate entities - to populate these events, until the lesson is learned and is checked off, at which time the next item on the checksheet will come into view.
It is further my theory that the universe is doing this for us only if we are in "passive learning" mode. At every moment we can opt out of the (larger) group of people who let life write their scripts, and join the (smaller) group of people who are in "active learning" mode, or in other words, who decide what life lesson to work on. They design their own checksheets, they evolve at their own pace. Here is the chapter referring to this on my "Life Lesson Processing" website:
http://life-lessons.eu/TheoryEn/TTHumanTLEn.htm#active
In my reality, all processing is best used in the life lesson context, or in other words, by following the threads of a certain theme, rather than following sensations or somatics or emotions, like it is done in traditional Dianetics. This will optimize the ARCU triangle. If we first establish perfect C, then the R and then the A belonging to one theme and shift all these elements up the tone scale by removing negative energy, this results in perfect U = Understanding. And perfect understanding equals "lesson learned" - across the incarnations, across the planets and universes. It covers the whole fabric of a person's existence.
This is how I would rig up auditing after an initial life repair. My own personal flavour, if you will
Helena Handbasket
Gold Meritorious Patron
The Great Plan
It's now been two months after doing my Stupid Cupid Rundown, and things are pretty much the same as they've been since then.
To be sure, I'm still attracted to him. In particular, I just want to be with him. Even if my current relationship works out, they'll always be a part of me that wants to be with the XBF that I've written so much about.
However, the compulsiveness that has accompanied all of the above is gone. That is the big difference.
For most of my life I've been following what I now call The Great Plan. I've devoted most of my life's efforts to it. It was my attempt to undo the terrible tragedy of 1926, of which I have written about elsewhere. It explains my actions towards him, my drive to be financially successful, my fascination with Australia, and other parts of my life. The truly amazing part of it, as much of a long shot as it was, it actually came close to succeeding. But it didn't. It went from workable, to difficult, to impossible, to "more impossible" if you can believe that.
Needless to say, the Great Plan was totally subconcious. As dedicated as I was to it, I was completely unaware that it existed until just yesterday (with the help of my current therapist!)
In the late '80's I started having these "crashes". I would be feeling all right, then I would become apathetic and/or depressed, unable to function in life. Eventually I would come out of it, only to crash again and again. Once the Great Plan became unworkable, I would try to get on with my life, only to be subconciously aware that I was working against the plan. While I had officially given up my goal, the Great Plan was still there, pulling at me, being my reason for living. Without progress on the Plan, what was there to live for? Therefore my crashes.
While the Stupid Cupid Rundown was a cure for my obsession with my XBF, another step is needed: dismantling the Great Plan and replacing it with something else. I call this something else The New Plan, although I've yet to decide what form it will take.
Perhaps my 2013 obsession with joining (or creating) a Freezone service delivery group was a subconcious attempt to create a New Plan.
There may be hope for me yet!
Helena
It's now been two months after doing my Stupid Cupid Rundown, and things are pretty much the same as they've been since then.
To be sure, I'm still attracted to him. In particular, I just want to be with him. Even if my current relationship works out, they'll always be a part of me that wants to be with the XBF that I've written so much about.
However, the compulsiveness that has accompanied all of the above is gone. That is the big difference.
For most of my life I've been following what I now call The Great Plan. I've devoted most of my life's efforts to it. It was my attempt to undo the terrible tragedy of 1926, of which I have written about elsewhere. It explains my actions towards him, my drive to be financially successful, my fascination with Australia, and other parts of my life. The truly amazing part of it, as much of a long shot as it was, it actually came close to succeeding. But it didn't. It went from workable, to difficult, to impossible, to "more impossible" if you can believe that.
Needless to say, the Great Plan was totally subconcious. As dedicated as I was to it, I was completely unaware that it existed until just yesterday (with the help of my current therapist!)
In the late '80's I started having these "crashes". I would be feeling all right, then I would become apathetic and/or depressed, unable to function in life. Eventually I would come out of it, only to crash again and again. Once the Great Plan became unworkable, I would try to get on with my life, only to be subconciously aware that I was working against the plan. While I had officially given up my goal, the Great Plan was still there, pulling at me, being my reason for living. Without progress on the Plan, what was there to live for? Therefore my crashes.
While the Stupid Cupid Rundown was a cure for my obsession with my XBF, another step is needed: dismantling the Great Plan and replacing it with something else. I call this something else The New Plan, although I've yet to decide what form it will take.
Perhaps my 2013 obsession with joining (or creating) a Freezone service delivery group was a subconcious attempt to create a New Plan.
There may be hope for me yet!
Helena
Helena Handbasket
Gold Meritorious Patron
Now that I know there was a Great Plan, and now that I know it's totally failed, I need to mourn it before I can move on.
So I have made a "sad songs" playlist surrounding that theme, that I am listening to as I type.
In my current brand of therapy, trying not to think of painful thoughts keeps you trapped in them. So I am doing the opposite.
Helena
So I have made a "sad songs" playlist surrounding that theme, that I am listening to as I type.
In my current brand of therapy, trying not to think of painful thoughts keeps you trapped in them. So I am doing the opposite.
Helena
Helena Handbasket
Gold Meritorious Patron
I've had a relapse of sorts.
Right now I have a lot of attention on my XBF -- although it's not nearly as bad as it was a year ago.
I'll try the Stupid Cupid Rundown again, although I suspect something deeper's happening.
I need to get on with my life. But what should I do with it?
I've considered stepping back from the Second Dynamic (which I define as intimacy) and just living a life of trying to help others. If I were Catholic and this were 200 years ago, I'd think about joining a nunnery.
I'm open to suggestion.
Helena
Right now I have a lot of attention on my XBF -- although it's not nearly as bad as it was a year ago.
I'll try the Stupid Cupid Rundown again, although I suspect something deeper's happening.
I need to get on with my life. But what should I do with it?
I've considered stepping back from the Second Dynamic (which I define as intimacy) and just living a life of trying to help others. If I were Catholic and this were 200 years ago, I'd think about joining a nunnery.
I'm open to suggestion.
Helena
This is interesting. Not sure whether I agree with it, but seems to be that one makes the decision to fall in love.
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html?_r=1
Helena Handbasket
Gold Meritorious Patron
I'm sorry to have to report I'm now in a full-blown relapse.
Since I can never have (ITL) what I can never stop wanting, what hope is there for me?
It feels like I have nothing to look forward to in life. To be sure, it's not always this bad, but any relief is only temporary.
Helena, still in her handbasket
(ITL = In This Lifetime)
Since I can never have (ITL) what I can never stop wanting, what hope is there for me?
It feels like I have nothing to look forward to in life. To be sure, it's not always this bad, but any relief is only temporary.
Helena, still in her handbasket
(ITL = In This Lifetime)
Last edited:
degraded being
Sponsor
I hope you find relief Helena.
You might have depression to some degree, (long term or medium term) or a mood problem, and all the thought such as not being able to have something, not having anything to look forward to etc, might be the way the depression or mood manifests itself. So the things you identify as the problem might only be the symptoms of the problem.
You may have nutrient deficiencies that affect emotional state and/or stability of emotional state. Things that may be treated, and not necessarily with drugs - although they are not the big bogey scientologists think they are.
Helena Handbasket
Gold Meritorious Patron
Do I have depression?
Is the Pope Catholic?
Helena
Edwardo
Patron with Honors
i was sad to read this, Helena.
I don't know whether this will help, but I have some experience of settling in a foreign city, and of losing my friends as they got married and/or went back to their home countries.
I found that attending functions was a good thing to do and stopped me getting too involved in the video game I had replaced Scientology with.
I would go to cooking classes, hiked with a group of people who took the train out of the city and then walked in the countryside, joined wine tastings and tried to go things organized by charity groups.
Doing these things didn't change my life particularly for some time, but it was helpful for me and did ultimately lead to me finding a good partner and settling down.
I hope things go well. I like the honesty and style that comes across in your posts.
Helena Handbasket
Gold Meritorious Patron
There's something else going on here, too.
It's the realization that I'm never going to get the kind of life I'd been hoping for all these years. At my age, there's not much time left to reinvent myself yet again (and I've done a lot of reinventing myself).
I've lost my love of life / Lebensfreude / mojo. I just don't care any more. Perhaps next lifetime will be better, and perhaps sooner is better than later.
I just feel so empty.
Helena
It's the realization that I'm never going to get the kind of life I'd been hoping for all these years. At my age, there's not much time left to reinvent myself yet again (and I've done a lot of reinventing myself).
I've lost my love of life / Lebensfreude / mojo. I just don't care any more. Perhaps next lifetime will be better, and perhaps sooner is better than later.
I just feel so empty.
Helena
Helena Handbasket
Gold Meritorious Patron
I'm happy to say my "relapse" is over. While I still have fond memories of what I had before, I'm ready to move on.
Trouble is, I seem to have nothing to move on TO. My social life is stalled.
And I'm still very neurotic. I have some idea of what I need to do, I just can't get there.
Helena
Trouble is, I seem to have nothing to move on TO. My social life is stalled.
And I'm still very neurotic. I have some idea of what I need to do, I just can't get there.
Helena
i read the comments - and now i suddenly understand why it is
called the STUPID cupid rundown;this rundown has nothing
to do with being in love! lol it s just a rundown for you and/or another or others being STUPID
to each other and/or others and/or even (unconsciously)
to yourself!
so last me to say; 'fuck cupid!'
called the STUPID cupid rundown;this rundown has nothing
to do with being in love! lol it s just a rundown for you and/or another or others being STUPID
to each other and/or others and/or even (unconsciously)to yourself!
so last me to say; 'fuck cupid!'
Helena Handbasket
Gold Meritorious Patron
I'm sorry to have to say the gains from this rundown didn't last. (Although the situation is a bit less painful then it was before.)
Perhaps another step or two (which I don't yet know about) needs to be added to the procedure.
I am open to suggestion.
Helena
Perhaps another step or two (which I don't yet know about) needs to be added to the procedure.
I am open to suggestion.
Helena
Jump
Operating teatime
The_Fixer
Class Clown
Somebody call me?
Don't mind me, just been watching "I'm a celebrity, get me outtta here!"
I just saw Marcia Brady and thought...."DaFuq? "
But she really has chutzpah these days..... now that is sexy!
Helena Handbasket
Gold Meritorious Patron
I've made it a point to report back about once a month to let you know if my gains from my Stupid Cupid Rundown were able to "stick". This is now the last installment of this series. After discussion of this post dies down, I will not be making any more updates to this thread.
Did the Stupid Cupid Rundown work? The answer is partially. While the sharp "ARC breaky" pain of our separation is gone, I still want and need him.
Our brief time together (this lifetime) was fabulous. He made me feel wonderful in a way no one else ever could. While the negatives are gone, the positives of this relationship were not, and perhaps never can be, replaced. While I'm ready to let him go, I will never forget him.
Perhaps I was asking too much of this auditing to expect it to "cure" me totally. Making the bad things go away is what auditing is all about (supposedly). But auditing can't substitute for not having the good things we all want. You-know-who says you can't erase a pleasure moment.
My best hope is to find someone new, someone just as good or better. But I'm not sure such a person even exists. I've signed up on an internet singles site but don't feel very confident about it.
Most of us have had the phenomenon of feeling GREAT after a session, only to have most of those good feelings die down after a while. It's like winning a marathon footrace -- it feels good to be a winner, but you can't expect those feelings to sustain you for the rest of your life. But by training for the marathon, you enjoy the benefits of good health which are longer lasting. I call the first category "wins" and the second "gains".
I was emotionally crippled when I began this lifetime. Because of this, I was unable to make life work right -- which lead to more problems -- which made me even MORE emotionally crippled. (Can anyone say dwindling spiral?) It's what I came into Scientology to handle.
It's been months since I had auditing of any kind. I'm now tending to more mainstream solutions. I now know I'll never be completely "cured". While I've done quite well for myself financially, my social life has always been the pits. Perhaps next lifetime will be better.
Helena
Did the Stupid Cupid Rundown work? The answer is partially. While the sharp "ARC breaky" pain of our separation is gone, I still want and need him.
Our brief time together (this lifetime) was fabulous. He made me feel wonderful in a way no one else ever could. While the negatives are gone, the positives of this relationship were not, and perhaps never can be, replaced. While I'm ready to let him go, I will never forget him.
Perhaps I was asking too much of this auditing to expect it to "cure" me totally. Making the bad things go away is what auditing is all about (supposedly). But auditing can't substitute for not having the good things we all want. You-know-who says you can't erase a pleasure moment.
My best hope is to find someone new, someone just as good or better. But I'm not sure such a person even exists. I've signed up on an internet singles site but don't feel very confident about it.
Most of us have had the phenomenon of feeling GREAT after a session, only to have most of those good feelings die down after a while. It's like winning a marathon footrace -- it feels good to be a winner, but you can't expect those feelings to sustain you for the rest of your life. But by training for the marathon, you enjoy the benefits of good health which are longer lasting. I call the first category "wins" and the second "gains".
I was emotionally crippled when I began this lifetime. Because of this, I was unable to make life work right -- which lead to more problems -- which made me even MORE emotionally crippled. (Can anyone say dwindling spiral?) It's what I came into Scientology to handle.
It's been months since I had auditing of any kind. I'm now tending to more mainstream solutions. I now know I'll never be completely "cured". While I've done quite well for myself financially, my social life has always been the pits. Perhaps next lifetime will be better.
Helena
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